Name: Chris Elliott Babysits Dave's Son Harry | Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-09-17T15:30:53.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chris Elliott Babysits Dave's Son Harry | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-09-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chris Elliott Babysits Dave's Son Harry | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-09-17. Transcript available.

Our next guest is a very funny man and very talented, and he can be seen
regularly on the popular program Everybody Loves Raymond. Ladies and gentlemen,
here's Chris Elliott.
Thank you all very much. Be very quiet. He's sleeping right now. Oh, David, I
have your boy right here. Oh, my gosh. He is adorable. I was backstage, and I
was walking by the guy, and I had to bring him out.
You know, it's time you share him with the world, and I'm really, don't get mad
at your nanny. Okay, don't give her a heck. This is my fault. His tummy's a
little upset because I shared my Filet-O-Fish with him, but he is so, so cute.
Hal, Hal, come on in. Can you get a shot of him? Can you get a shot?
Hal, I've been here in nine years.
Here, can you?
Let's see. Where is it? Oh, there we go.
Wow, you've got a full set of teeth.
Yes, nice toppers.
Yeah, well, good.
Look at that, and you know what? He has your smarts. He's already learned his
first word.
Really?
Yes, he has. You want to hear him say it?
Can you say your first word? Can you? Hal, can you?
Okay, all right.
Oh, I don't know about that. All right, well, that was that joke. We'll just
put that over there.
All right. Thank you all. Nice to be here.
Chris, welcome back to the show.
Thank you very much, David. Congratulations.
Thank you very much.
That is really terrific.
How have you been?
I've been fine. You have a baby.
That's right.
That is great.
It's hard to believe.
It is hard. I heard Leno had twins, but one is good, too.
One is terrific.
No, one is fine.
Really? He had twins.
Come on, one is fine.
I didn't realize that.
Now, let me ask you something.
Did you hear that?
I didn't hear that.
One is fine, though.
Were you in the delivery room?
Yeah, sure.
Yes, I was.
And was that an awesome event for you?
Well, yeah, I know. It was quite a thing. It was like a rodeo.
Yeah, I don't really remember. I have kids, and I don't really remember much of
it, because
my wife had me in a headlock for most of the time when I was in there and cursing
at
me along with the doctors. And let me tell you something else. Here's a little
hint. If
you want to avoid a big problem at the end of that whole thing, you know,
people screaming
at you, throwing things at you, tip the midwives.
Okay?
And what is it?
Take it from me.
Like 15, 20% of the total bill?
Oh, I just do 15.
That's all I do.
But, you know, I have to tell you, I've been watching every night, and I've
been seeing
your pictures of Barry every single night.
What's that?
Barry.
What a wonderful nickname.
I've never heard that for Barry.
But night after night, I've seen you showing the photos. You know, some of us
might be getting
a little sick of it, but you're excited, and we're excited for you. You know,
it might be
nice to try, you know, another subject. Maybe some comedy would be good.
Let me ask you a question, because you're a seasoned veteran at this thing.
And it's kind of a tricky little, touchy little question.
What's that?
What about sex, you know, before, after?
You know, I get a lot of letters from guys about that.
Thanks.
Really?
I don't know why.
I just do.
And, yeah, a lot of guys are worried about that.
And, you know, it's interesting.
If you're like me, and I think you are a lot like me, you probably had sex all
during the
pregnancy.
And, like, my wife and I, I mean, my wife and I, we love each other so much.
I mean, we had it, you know, up until, and partly through the labor, actually,
until, you know, until the midwife turned to me and said, okay, back off, Custer.
All right?
Man, there must have been something in there.
Yeah, that was something else.
But Harry is a gorgeous kid.
I love the photos.
I love them.
They're just beautiful.
I don't, I wouldn't do that to my kids.
I wouldn't exploit them like that.
Oh, that's good.
Right.
But, yeah, I know what you have to do.
How many kids do you have?
I have two.
And, you know, you have to, you know, sell the soda pop and all that.
But I wouldn't, I wouldn't bring pictures.
What are the ages of the girls?
16 and 13.
Oh, 16 and 13.
Yes.
That's amazing.
Yeah, I think they're here, actually.
I didn't bring photos, but I think they're here.
Where are they?
Do you mind if we take a look at them?
Well, there they are.
Look at that.
That's pretty good.
Beautiful girls.
They're lovely.
I make them wear those shirts whenever I'm on the show.
Thank you.
Just school.
Just for you.
I appreciate that.
That's very fine.
Nice job.
We'll be right back here with Chris Elliott, everybody.
Gorgeous.
Thank you very much.
So is your boy.
The older one is 16.
The older one is 16.
The younger one is 13.
How will you handle the dating stuff?
Oh, it's actually, it's very weird.
It's very weird.
I was very concerned about Abby because she has a very close friend named Steve
who's,
you know, at first, I was all ready to hate the guy, but he showed up at our
house, and he's
like exactly like me.
Oh, no.
No, I mean, he looks a lot like me when I was 16.
I mean, hopefully he's not exactly like me, but he's very, very similar, and he's
a sweet
kid.
And you found that reassuring.
I did.
Yes, I did.
I did.
A lot of other people were alarmed.
I can understand that.
That's right.
Now, but you recently, and congratulations, because I think things like this
are long overdue.
You know, I've known you for what?
Long overdue.
17, 18 years.
Let's round it off.
Let's say 30 years.
And this has got to be the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me.
Madame Tussauds here in New York, actually, the wax museum actually put up a
wax figure
of me.
Wow.
And I was thrilled.
It opened up yesterday.
Just yesterday, it opened up?
It opened up yesterday.
And they have famous people from all over the world?
Yes, all over the world.
That's great.
And they didn't actually, they didn't put them in the best, me in the best spot.
It's sort of off to the corner there.
And for some reason, it was the only exhibit that didn't have like a rope
around it, you
know, or any, really any kind of security at all.
Is that right?
So it was, you know, sort of inviting vandalism.
Well, it's brand new.
It just opened.
Yeah, I guess so.
But within an hour, both my legs were gone and both arms were gone.
So what they did give me, though, is this.
And I want to give this.
There you go.
Well, that's beautiful, Chris.
That is my present to Prince Harry.
Oh, thank you.
This is for the boy.
And I hope he enjoys it.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, I think it would look good in his crib.
Yeah.
How can he know?
Well, the likeness is striking.
The likeness, they got both pimples perfectly.
Very nice.
Here, I'm sorry.
Yeah, no, we got it.
Okay.
Yeah, you got it.
Well, you and the family must be very proud of it.
Yes, they are.
Thank you.
The boy and I will cherish this.
Okay, you're serious, right?
Yes, I'm serious.
Good to see you again.
Good to see you.
Chris Elliott, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you.