Name: Dave Tackles The Penny Problem | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-09-19T15:05:14.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Tackles The Penny Problem | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-09-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Tackles The Penny Problem | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-09-19. Transcript available.

Hi, I'm Barbara Gaines. Welcome to The Barbara Gaines Show.
This is our lovely, continued-to-come guest, writer Bill Schefft and Dave
Letterman.
Hi, I'm Dave. Nice to see you, Bill. Nice to see you.
Barbara, thank you very much for having me on the show.
You're welcome. You're the only person I have on the show.
If it weren't for this show, I'd never get out of the house, and that's a true
story.
That's not a true story.
It is a true story.
That's not.
Excuse me. Where would I go?
You have your...
I know. Bill's right. I have the agenda.
You have your own show on Netflix.
I have an account with AAA.
Yeah, okay.
Anyway, did you read that thing in the Times Magazine about pennies?
Well, I'm so glad you brought this up.
This is great.
This is one of those things that seems like a tiny issue.
Tiny, as is the penny.
Tiny.
And a tiny issue.
But it is literally, well, not literally, figuratively, the tip of the iceberg.
The story of the penny is gargantuan and, like icebergs, possibly could sink.
You can't think us financially.
Was that your takeaway?
I can't remember.
Did you read it?
Yes, I did.
Yeah, I read it.
The tyranny of the penny.
That's right.
That's exactly right.
And the woman's name, Barbara Gallagher.
No, that's not Barbara Gallagher.
No, that's not Barbara.
Oh, my God.
It's not Barbara Gallagher.
I'm laughing.
She's someone who worked a long time ago on the show.
But this writer with the Times Magazine.
You could have picked any name.
So anyway, what was your take on the article?
Well, it was at times confusing, but it seemed to be sort of, it's like the end
of It's a Wonderful Life.
Too many people were collecting pennies?
Right.
People are collecting them because they have no use for them.
So now we have too many.
So we have too many, but we don't have any in circulation.
So they have to keep minting them.
And if everybody, you know, one day goes to the bank and says...
They'll be over-circulated?
Well, they'll be, you know...
To me, the headline was, Barack Obama cited this when he brought up this issue.
It's almost impossible to get rid of a system that doesn't work.
And that's what we have here.
Because you go someplace to get whatever you buy when you go to the market.
Milk.
Milk.
So how much is milk?
I don't know.
$6.43.
It's not that.
Okay.
So you hand them $7, and they give you back and change whatever, whatever, and
pennies.
Now, you take your pennies home and you put them in...
You got a drawer, you got a box, you got a bowl.
Right.
You got pennies.
Now, next time you go out, you don't take those pennies with you.
Correct.
You buy more milk.
Right.
Same thing.
You bring pennies home.
That happens a billion times a day, and the cost to remint a new batch of pennies
to circulate
is multiple billions of dollars a year.
Right.
Now, the solution could be, it all lies with the Secretary of the Treasury,
Janet Yellen.
No, it's not the Secretary.
It's not her.
Yeah.
It's not her?
No.
She's not the Secretary of the Treasury.
What is she?
No.
She was the head of the Fed, Janet Yellen.
Who's the Secretary of the Treasury?
I don't know, but it was that guy, Mnuchin.
Remember him with Trump?
Remember that guy with his wife?
Secretary of the Treasury.
Well, now, wait a minute.
We have to find out who the Secretary of the Treasury...
It's all the money.
Good name.
It says it is Janet Yellen, Secretary of the Treasury.
Oh, she is.
Oh, I thought she was head of the...
She was...
Am I wrong...
What's she head of the...
Why don't we listen to Dave?
It's...
He knows.
Can we start this again?
No.
It's Janet Yellen.
We'll do an edit.
Of course it's Janet Yellen.
Yeah.
Look how disappointed he is.
He's downtrodden now.
Yeah.
So all she's got to do is make a call.
By the way, kids, we're done with the penny.
This thing goes away.
Right.
It doesn't need to be a legislature.
It doesn't need to be a presidential request.
Nothing.
She can shut it down tomorrow.
But they talked about that in the article, right?
Why can't we...
Why can't they just stop minting the penny?
They've done it in other countries.
Canada, for example, was the one they cited.
Canada uses a round-up, round-down system,
which I didn't fully understand.
But they've eliminated the one-cent piece in Canada
and other countries as well.
Now, you talk about eliminating the penny.
I say, well, what the hell's next?
The nickel?
I got no great love for the nickel.
How about you guys?
No.
What gets my interest would be the quarter.
I have sad feelings about the dime going away,
but the quarter, I think, stays.
But you wanted to put Reagan on the dime, right?
Wasn't that part of it?
Yes, I wanted Ronald Reagan.
You wanted Ronald Reagan on the dime?
Yes.
Bill's reminding me that I did.
I'm a presidential historian.
Huh.
What an odd place to put him.
Yeah, let's get FDR off the dime.
But anyway, so I think you ought to launch a little program here on your
program,
Yelling at Yelling, to get rid of the penny.
Yelling at Yelling to get rid of the penny.
Yelling at Yelling, get rid of the penny.
Yelling at Yelling.
Get rid of the penny.
That's what we stand for.
Yelling is going to catch fire and sweep the country.
Okay, here.
And believe me, this country needs sweeping.
We do need sweeping.
Here at the Barbara Gaines YouTube show, it's Yelling for Yelling.
Yeah.
Yelling at Yelling.
Keep Yelling at Yelling.
Get rid of those pennies.
Yeah.
Or bring them in here.
And stop.
No.
We don't want all those pennies.
No, no, no.
We do.
Send us your pennies.
Yeah.
And we'll see that they get a proper home.
Yeah.
What are we going to do with all the pennies?
Cash them in and we'll get wealthy.
Okay.
Yeah.
We'll cash them.
This is like a soupy sales deal.
Yeah.
All right.
Send us your pennies.
All right.
This should be somehow.
No, no.
Seriously.
We'll take all the pennies you have.
Right.
I think this is illegal.
How is it illegal?
Are you allowed to ask for pennies?
Yes.
If people want to send us money, nothing illegal.
All we're doing is say, send us your pennies.
We'll take them.
All right.
Well, you should definitely stop hoarding them.
But I guess that's the problem.
If they stop hoarding them, they oversaturation.
That's the problem.
If everybody runs on the bank with their pennies.
That's bad.
Yes.
It's very bad.
Yeah.
But we'll take care of that.
Yeah.
We'll take care of that.
All right.
I got a truck.
And they can pick something out of the brochure.
We don't have a brochure.
Yeah, that's right.
You and the family want to go camping.
You need a tent.
Yeah.
There's a tent in the brochure.
Yeah.
Very nice.
2,000 pennies.
All right.
Send us your penny.
Keep yelling and yelling.
And don't forget to subscribe to us.
Yeah.
By the way, if you continue sending those pennies in, you don't need to
subscribe here at all.
No, that's not true.
Subscribe.
We want you to subscribe.
We really don't need your business.
We do.
Once we get your pennies.
Yeah.
Thank you.
You don't have to roll them.
Just send them.
That's right.
Don't roll them.
No, roll them and then send them.
Just roll them.
Have you seen Kevin Hart talking to LeBron James in that commercial?
No.
Talking about butterscotch candy out of your pocket.
They're giving you raw candy.
It's hilarious.
I don't know what they're talking about.
Thanks for watching.
Goodbye.
What did Oprah do with her money?
She's going to start collecting change and they were going to feed the world.
They raised millions of dollars in change.
That's when she bought the place in Montecito?
Yeah.