Name: Steve Martin Needs To Lay Down | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-09-24T19:57:39.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Steve Martin Needs To Lay Down | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-09-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Steve Martin Needs To Lay Down | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-09-24. Transcript available.

what happened is lily and i would go to my house and rehearse and uh with a chaperone
of course
absolutely and uh carl reiner would be there sorry uh carl reiner would be
there and she'd
walk across the room as her character and i would follow her across the room uh
it's very entertaining
to see now uh can i ask you a question about your you mentioned you a reference
to your throat you
sound a little different well i am i have a a very bad sore throat right now
and i don't
feel too well so i seem a little in fact i was uh kind of i was kind of shocked
because uh i i
didn't think i could do the show i called in today and i said i woke up it was
really bad you know
when i uh called the the show and i talked to your producer and i said i i
really don't think
i can do the show i don't feel well and he said uh he said no way sucker
yeah yeah and i and i said i said what and he said i laugh in your face
he said the con you the contract is signed you're on yeah i said well i that's
that's kind of hard
for me to believe i said uh i said what if i uh you know were to call my agency
and get someone to
to fill in for me because i really don't feel well someone you know of equal stature
so you'd have to
you know so i said maybe frank sinatra michael jackson
and uh and your producer said we'll see about that and hung up yeah and then
about an hour
later i was sitting in my hotel room and i was like laying i was almost out you
know i've taken
some pills or something and uh uh a knock on the door came and i went over and
said who is it and
they said room service yeah i said but i i didn't order any room service and
they said uh we mean
flower delivery and i said okay it could be you know i opened the door and
these two thugs came in
and took me down here to the show and put me in a room and started grilling me
like and what you what
are you going to say when dave asked you this what do you say i said let me
talk to dave i mean dave's
an understanding guy and if uh you know dave knew i was sick i'm sure i would
be off the show and we
would go for michael jackson or frank sinatra well you know the problem here is
we hear this a lot
and unless we know unless we know a person is actually sick we're we're a
little here's what
i understand that having been in a show business and on occasion had to lie
i invited uh a doctor down that that treated me actually about six years ago
here in new york
city who will now do a check on we have a doctor here now an actual doctor dr
marvin belski if we
could bring him out he could do the diagnosis right here and prove to you that
i am actually fine if
we dr belski ladies and gentlemen
nice to see you uh i don't know uh if you can conduct a brief sort of cursory
examination and
tell us what the problem is there if anything what's the problem i wake up in
the morning and
my throat is very tight and uh and i've just recently today i started feeling a
little listless
otherwise i was okay but how long has i been going on for about two days i
started in l.a and i came
on the plane and can you swallow all right or any problem i can swallow okay
the glands hurt a little
bit all right let me just take a look and see how you are can we get a real
tight shot of that
okay make him gag like everybody else okay let me just see any ache in the ear
anything bother you
there no nothing in the ear i'm sure that's what's in there is more interesting
than the show huh
let me just let me just see the show that i want how are we doing is there well
he's got it seems
reddened there it's probably maybe viral i don't see any exudate but i think
you should don't see any
what sir exudate exudate like spots you know you could have said spots well
here's my dog eggs you date
have you ever seen you ever seen uh exit day it's truly great great looking
well so he's he's actually
ill he's got some redness to his throat i think he needs a lot of rest and he's
exhausted and he's
predisposed to infection i think i'm sorry i'm very very sorry i for a second i
doubted that you were
not feeling well but i'm sorry i think that would be possible if i were to go
home now
no did you read the contract you've got to be here i'll tell you what we can do
if you're really
not feeling this well a little tired and listless and you get that exudation if
you want you can you
can use my office and lie down that would be great if i could lie down i think
i'd feel a lot better
okay so would you mind yeah it's just through the door and they'll show you how
to get up thank you
very much dr belski dave i really appreciate this thank you thank you very much
are we in a hurry
right now okay i'm just going to check them here yeah in terms of cost yeah
well it depends it can
vary anywhere from it's not a checkup no no how much is this going to cost it's
going to cost him
i think about uh sixty dollars sixty dollars all right uh doctor nice nice of
you to come in uh we
have to pause here for is it station identification all right we'll be right
back folks we've got plenty
okay so let's see if uh if steven has made his way up there and uh we'll just
chat with him for a
second that's the uh the hallway going down toward my office past uh some of
the other offices that's
i feel a little dizzy that's it right there okay steve can you hear me yeah i
can hear you okay go on
in and and uh oh this is a beautiful office dave thank you very much i really
didn't expect this but
this is fabulous in here thank you but i'll just lay down here if that's okay
with you okay please
please relax because it'll be more relaxing for me i think when you're sick the
important thing is to
have rest yeah that's a great desk what a desk thank you that is beautiful this
must be a very expensive
desk well it's uh huh personal and confidential yeah well that's uh that's
great
these are great photographs maybe you can just uh taxi yeah it's really nice in
here can i use your
phone use the phone sure one of the most important things when you're sick is
to maybe you know talk
to your friends and kind of know that people are there for yeah okay it's kind
of important go right
ahead sandy hi it's steve yeah i'm up here in david letterman's office it's
fantastic yeah come on up
that'd be great well bring her along then okay we'll see you bye yeah hey dave
you know one of the
things when you're sick is uh you know it's good to have a little whiskey or
something is there any uh
drinks or anything up here uh you know i don't i don't think we have any in the
office i'm sorry
oh that's really too bad excuse me hello this is dave
are you saw me on the show uh-huh well come on up
i'm on the 14th floor just come on up that'd be great okay we'll bring her
along then okay
okay well i'll just lay down for a little bit okay okay you take care of
yourself steve rest
up okay we'll check in with you in a few minutes bye okay okay bye bye we get
that whiskey all right
great okay that's uh steve martin uh ladies and gentlemen my next guest is one
of the most uh
beautiful women in the world that's certainly true and she's also a sophomore
at princeton i tell you
what before we bring her out should we check in on steve once more all right
steven is upstairs
hey dave i was just curious is there any way i can get mtv on this uh
actually steve that's a uh that's just a monitor and all you can get on that is
our show
oh that's okay okay let's bring it on in okay come on in that's good let's put
it over there i'd be
good i think music is very very important you know when you're when you're real
i think it's good
good to hear music yeah hey how's it going good to see you how are you oh it's
been so long since
i see oh oh thank you very much come on that's really good i'm feeling a lot
better
oh so steve's uh apparently feeling uh feeling a little bit i'll tell you what
steve we're gonna
we're gonna talk to brooke now so you you take care of yourself you know steve
martin is here and
he's not feeling well so he's upstairs uh taking it easy let's go up and and
see how he's doing steve
or how are you how are you steve how are you feeling steve excuse me steve it's
really fun to go down
there after the uh steve hey hi how you doing good you know it's amazing how
quickly one of these things
goes away i think it was like a 35 minute thing so you're feeling a little
better then that's good
i feel okay you know hey dave yeah can i talk to brooke for a second
hi hi brooke how you doing come on up oh maybe we will are you feeling better
no i i feel okay i'm not
going to give you anything or anything like that oh well i don't know you know
i've i've i heard
come on up it's a ball up here we're having a ball aren't we it's great come on
all right okay all right
i'd love to thank you i can't really hear you having so much fun here okay well
uh the place is filled up
up with the deadbeats yeah it was awfully nice of him uh thank you very much paul
i tell you what we
have only a few seconds left let's go once more up to my office and see how steve
martin is feeling
you know he was a little little ill earlier and
i just wanted to say good night have i got steve like uh well we'll get to steve
in a minute uh let me thank everybody who was here tonight of course uh brooke
shields obviously there with mr martin and uh steve martin himself
everybody who helped out tonight with stupid pet tricks now immediately
following this particular
program we will be on again and our guests will be liberaci and bob dylan and
of course tomorrow we'll be on the today show as well uh thank you very much
folks have a good night we'll see you again
you