Name: Jennifer Lawrence Hates Herself | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-10-22T15:00:55.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jennifer Lawrence Hates Herself | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jennifer Lawrence Hates Herself | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-22. Transcript available.

Wow, nice to see you again.
Good to see you.
When was the last time you were here?
I think, I said a year, but then I heard May.
But, I, a while ago.
What does that mean? Yeah, a while ago.
Yeah.
Well, how have you been?
Good. I've been good. How have you been?
Yeah, all right.
Yeah, everything seems like it's going well over here.
Now, you know this movie, you know what you got a hold of here, right?
Yeah, it's big, isn't it?
It's going to be like a jumbo big and a blockbuster big as well.
I think, I've been like shaking for like two months straight.
As an actress, does it make any difference, the degree of success of the film,
the project you're working in,
or is it just all about the artistic expression?
I've never really paid attention to the box office or to how much money any
film makes before.
I mean, this one, people keep reminding me, so now it's there, but it's not
normally something I care about now.
Now, are you in? Do you get a little piece of this? Do you get a little taste
of this?
I don't think so. I was hoping so, because I was like, yeah, franchise, and
then I was like, oh, yeah, no.
Yeah.
I didn't, I don't know. We'll see.
Now, there's three books. The film is based on a book, and there's three of
these books, right?
Yes.
Will there be three films, do you think?
I think so.
Oh, buddy.
Yes, I think it might be headed that way.
Come on.
Come on.
I mean, you...
Yes, sir.
You will be picking out property on the moon.
Oh, that's the dream.
Now, your life's changing already, right?
The movie hasn't even opened, but you have some premieres and stuff, and people
know that you...
So, what's it like when you...
What's the core audience for this film?
Who's it going to be?
I think, well, lots of young girls are very supportive and loud about the films,
and then...
But, really, it's a movie for everybody.
It's one of those.
Right.
When they see you...
They scream.
Well, they scream.
And they cry.
And one almost fainted.
Stimulated, overexcited, and they...
I don't know what it is. It kind of makes you look at yourself.
We do these autograph signings, and there's all sorts of different reactions.
Some of them start screaming before they even make it to me, and then run away.
And I'm like, okay.
What was that?
So, they'll scream, they'll approach you, and then run away.
They work themselves up.
And my favorite, my personal favorites, are the ones who are in decked out,
head to toe,
Hunger Games, Katniss gear, and then they get in line, and then they just shut
down.
And they just kind of go into shock, and they look miserable.
Absolutely miserable to be there.
Won't look at me, won't talk to me, and just kind of do this.
And if it weren't for their full gear, I would think they would hate...
They hated me.
Like, they didn't even want to be there.
But you know that they just work themselves up.
They're like, I'm going to meet them, I'm going to meet them, I'm going to meet
them.
And then they get in line, and they just shut off.
Wow.
See, now, did you ever think in your lifetime that you would have that
extraordinary effect
on strangers, really, for God's sakes?
No.
No.
No.
It's a weird thing to get a hold of.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And when you see the film, it's impossible to see the film and see what they
see on the
screen.
No.
Because you're looking at you.
You're what?
No, I'm a troll.
I hate myself whenever I watch.
Yeah.
Don't go see the movies.
I'm a troll.
Yeah.
No.
I think the movie is great, but their biggest mistake was me.
All right.
Let's go back to...
Let's go back to you hate yourself.
What are you writing?
Well, nothing.
We have some time here tonight.
Are we going to list all the things I hate about myself that you hate about me?
And I'd like to see you again next week, too, if you don't mind.
Oh, this is my biggest nightmare.
I go on David Letterman and he makes a list of what everybody hates about me.
That's what I thought was going to happen backstage when I got nervous.
Now, I understand that because I don't like looking at myself, but at myself,
it's genuine.
I'm unpleasant looking.
No.
But you...
It's the same.
No, no, no.
It's the same you.
You're a lovely woman and a fine actress, so there you go.
Yeah.
So you go to these premieres, and by the way, they've had four.
Thanks for no invitations.
But...
What do you...
Do you have to get up and say something to the folks?
No, thank God.
I've tripped out of five...
How many was it?
I read four, but who knows?
Four.
I've tripped in two or three of them.
Like, massive trips.
What is it?
What is it?
Red carpet nonsense.
What is that?
Oh, it's so scary.
And then I end up getting so nervous that I get, like, now, I get really hyper,
and then
I'm like, ah, and I get really hyper.
So then I go in interviews, and I'm like, I'm like a chihuahua.
I'm shaking and peeing, and then afterwards, I'm like, I just talked about peeing
on the
right carpet.
You know what?
Let's go together, let's...
It's just not a situation for a normal person like this.
I'd like to see you twice a week, if you don't...
And then we get halfway through the red carpet, and, like, somebody goes, suck
in, and I'm
like, great.
Somebody says what?
It's only the first, suck in, because I've gone through, like, I get out of the
car, and
I'm like, and then I walk half the red carpet, and then the other half, I'm
sucking in, but
then I wonder about the other half of the pictures, which is the end of me Googling
myself.
Listen, what about your family?
Are they supportive?
No.
Well, I mean, yeah.
They're just...
I mean, they have fun.
I know, they're never like, you know, both of my brothers were like, before I
went on the
red carpet, I'm so nervous.
They're like, do shots!
Do shots!
I'm like, that's not a good idea!
It's not a good idea!
And then I did it, and then that led to, like, I'm peeing in my pants on the
red carpet,
because my brothers are like, it's fine, do some shots!
So, they're supportive in their own kind of way.
Yeah.
Are your brothers older than you are?
Yeah.
Now, what was it like, if they're encouraging you now in this regard, what was
it like when
you were all kids at the house?
How did they treat you then?
Well, now they actually talk to me.
Mm-hmm.
Before it was more just kind of physical, horrible thing.
Now they're getting really supportive, like, when we thought there was a paparazzi
outside
of my house, and my brother's like, you want me to throw a skateboard at it?
Because we, like, my brother's like, he went inside, he's like, let's go throw
some eggs
and tomatoes at it.
And I'm like, okay, cool!
Yeah.
Let's do it!
And then it was just, like, some parked car that I was like, that's a paparazzi!
Like, it wasn't.
It was, I just made it up.
Yeah.
Did the, um, was there a lot of, uh...
I'm not as famous as I think I am.
Was there a lot of...
Did you, was it a physical?
A lot of pushing and shoving with you and your brothers?
Yeah!
I've got scars all over my body.
Really?
Because, yeah, it was, what, the best part was they would fight each other over
who could
fight me.
Like, one time when I told my brother I wanted to try out for, like, T-ball, he
was like,
well, first things first, you gotta stop being afraid of the ball.
So he tied me up and started throwing tennis balls at my face.
And then my other brother came out and hung him up by the fence and then beat
me up.
And then, and then when I was in the gymnastics phase and I was really, they
used to pin my,
my feet back behind my head.
I can't do this anymore.
And then they would get our dachshunds and put peanut butter all over my face.
And then we had three dachshunds and then they would, then the dogs would do
this.
And then they'd shut the door, lock me in the basement with dachshunds.
It was awful.
Yeah.
And now karma, I go on talk shows and call everybody.
Yeah.
Talk about it.
Wow.
Well, I'm going to make, uh, I'm going to make two calls, uh, Jennifer.
Thank you.
The first one will be to Amnesty International and the second one will be to
Dick Cheney.
Because I think we have something here.
Why?
Well, it might replace waterboarding, that dachshund, that little dachshund
deal.
Um, well, now I'm really excited to see the movie.
I mean, I'm crazy excited.
Really?
This just made you excited?
Yes.
Yes.
This, because I, I feel like I want to see, I gotta have more of this.
I want to see, is this kind of your character?
No.
Oh.
No.
I was thinking the exact opposite.
I was like, nobody's going to want to see that idiot swinging from trees and
like,
shooting blowing arrows.
Oh, wow.
Sorry.
Everybody likes good.
Yeah.
It's a good movie.
Yeah.
God.
I'm going to get fired.
No, you're fine.
Sorry.
Have you thought about a prescription?
Just a small dose.
Oh, my God.
Just like a five milligram.
I went on David Letterman.
He told me to get on medication.
Yeah.
This is.
Now let's, let's, Jennifer, let's look at a clip here.
Oh, no.
Tell us what we're going to see.
Okay.
Okay.
What?
I said, I said, tell us what we're going to see.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Yeah.
I haven't, I haven't seen it.
I didn't hear you.
I don't know what clip we're doing.
That's all right.
Oh, yes I do.
Um, this is the scene.
This is the clip.
I hope to God it's the doctrine.
This is the scene.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
This is the Stanley Tucci.
Um, when I have to do the press junket for the Hunger Games.
Okay.
Here we go.
The Hunger Games.
Jennifer Lawrence.
How about that?
People know all about this.
People know.
I mean, the books have been a huge best seller.
So people kind of know what we're going to see here, don't they?
It's a, it's a competition.
Uh, and, and, and, and it's a, it's post-apocalyptic.
Yes.
It's, it's a futuristic world.
I like seeing that.
Yes.
I really get it.
Yeah.
It's a post-apocalyptic tale where, um, children are chosen, uh, from 12 to 18
to fight in a
televised game to the death.
Right.
And, and, and if they win, uh, great reward, uh, tangible and otherwise come to
themselves,
their families.
Yeah.
They get more food for their district, their colony, um, and themselves.
Mm-hmm.
And then they live.
Yeah.
Oh.
Yeah.
Where did, where did you make this movie?
Where was it filmed?
In North Carolina.
North Carolina.
How long did it take to film it?
About four months.
I was there maybe a month before for extra training.
I didn't have enough before.
Were people, were people nice to you down there?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And, and, and did you shoot a simultaneous, like a sequel was shot simultaneous
with the
original?
Did you do any of that?
What do you mean?
What?
Huh?
Well, sometimes they will, like the Johnny Depp made all of those pirate movies
at the
same time.
No, we didn't do that.
Oh, okay.
No, I couldn't have handled that.
Yeah.
I was, I had a meltdown within a couple of weeks.
I was just tired and hot.
Yeah.
If they were like, we're going to do the other one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, we came into my trailer.
I'm like, I'm so hot.
I'm so tired.
Hot and tired, yeah.
We're moving on to the second movie.
Yeah.
And I kept saying, I'm hot and tired.
Well, okay.
I mean, was there another choice?
I mean, you didn't have to be in movies.
You know?
No, I guess I didn't have to.
Thanks.
Well, I'm, I'm sure it'll all be just fine.
I'm, I'm really looking forward to this.
Oh, thank you.
It was so nice to see you again.
Thank you.
You're just fine.
Thank you.
Jennifer Lawrence.
The Hunger Games.