Name: Pee Wee Herman Wants To Be Cool | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-10-28T15:00:13.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Pee Wee Herman Wants To Be Cool | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Pee Wee Herman Wants To Be Cool | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-28. Transcript available.

Uh, thanks!
Okay, okay, shut up!
Shut up!
Uh, okay, hello!
Uh, brrrr!
Uh, okay, okay, now I'm up here!
Uh, okay, okay!
Hey, I just wanted to come up here and say hi, everybody.
Before I came down and talked to Mr. Letterman,
so why doesn't everybody just go, "Hi, Pee-wee!"
Hi, Pee-wee!
Okay, medium crummy, okay?
Uh, all right, we are gonna do this
'til everyone participates,
so you might as well just do it right now, okay?
Okay, save yourself a little time.
One, two, three!
Hi, Pee-wee!
Hi, audience!
Uh, okay, hey, hey,
anybody feel like a Tootsie Roll right now?
Okay, right over there!
Ah!
Uh, uh, okay, think fast!
Ah!
Uh, uh, okay, fake-out!
Uh, uh, uh, okay, over there!
Ah!
Uh, uh, okay!
Uh!
Uh, okay, I almost put his eye out with it!
Okay!
Uh!
Uh!
Okay, right up there!
Uh!
Uh!
Okay, they're going cougar for him!
Uh!
Uh!
Uh!
Uh!
Uh, uh, okay, what is your name, ma'am?
Hi, I'm Marilyn.
Marilyn?
I'm Kimberly.
Okay, what brings you to the show?
Ask her.
I'm in love with David.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
I love that story!
Uh, uh, uh, okay, what's your name?
Gerard.
Gerard, okay, for the duration of the show, your name's gonna be Gerard O.,
okay?
Okay, and what's your sister's name?
Noreen.
Noreen?
Noreen O.
Okay, and what's your name?
Maragin.
Maragin O.
Okay!
Okay, and what's your name, sir?
Tom.
Oh!
Okay!
Hey!
Hey!
Um, right, right.
Uh, okay, right, right, right, right now, we're gonna play a little game called
Pee Wee Says,
okay?
It's really simple.
It's just like...
Okay, shut up!
Okay.
Okay, it's just like Simon Says, only it's Pee Wee Says, okay?
Okay?
Pee Wee!
Okay!
Uh, uh, alright.
Okay, everybody ready?
Pee Wee Says, put your hands up in the air!
Pee Wee!
Very good!
Okay, Pee Wee Says, take them down!
Very good!
Pee Wee Says, laugh real loud!
Pee Wee Says, shut up!
Okay, raise your right hand!
Ha!
I didn't say Pee Wee Says!
Duh!
Duh!
Duh!
Duh!
Okay, Pee Wee Says, standing ovation!
Nice to see you, Pee-wee.
How are things?
Pretty good.
Good.
You seem to have settled down considerably since the last time I saw you.
Now, we have a list here of things you've brought to the show and demonstrate.
Before that, Mr. Letterman, I just wanted to kind of explain about my new pants
and everything.
Because, you know, a lot of people were watching me on your show before and
telling me, you know, people, you look kind of, you know, nerdy and stuff.
So, I decided to go for kind of a more hipper, you know, mob kind of look.
So, I'm growing my hair longer and I got these long pants and stuff.
Would you mind mopping me down a little bit?
Yeah, maybe.
No, that's right.
Why don't you just go ahead and maybe get a squeegee for you later.
That was so funny, I forgot to laugh.
Yeah.
Now, we have this list of stuff here.
Which do you want to get to?
Would you mind, I find lately that I'm much more comfortable with my big shoes
on right now.
So, I'm just going to put these on.
All right, you slip into those shoes.
While we're talking, you know what, I even have a big shoe dance.
Would you like to see that?
Oh.
Oh, yeah, we'd like to see it.
Okay.
I'm just going to do it right over here.
Okay.
Okay.
This is my big shoe dance, okay?
Ready?
I'm just going to do it right over here.
I'm just going to do it right over here.
I'm just going to do it right over here.
I'm just going to do it right over here.
I'm just going to do it right over here.
I'm just going to do it right over here.
I'm just going to do it right over here.
I'm just going to do it right over here.
I'm just going to do it right over here.
I'm just going to do it right over here.
I'm just going to do it right over here.
I'm just going to do it right over here.
I'm just going to do it right over here.
You are one peculiar son of a Pee-wee.
Pee-wee Herman and I are here, and what do you want to do, Pee-wee?
Well, I just wanted to grab a real quick bite because I didn't get to eat very
much before
I came on the show.
Remember these kind of cereal boxes where you can just pour the milk right at?
Right in like that?
That's a lot of fun, isn't it?
Yeah, yeah.
I was wondering if you'd mind just feeding me a couple spoonfuls of it.
Come on.
Just a little.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Come on.
Just one.
Okay.
Just give me a big spoonful.
Okay.
You're the first human I've fed.
I'm flattered.
You are flattered.
All right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'll just have a little music while we're eating.
Okay?
Okay.
A little music.
Okay.
That worked.
Okay.
All right.
Ready?
Come on.
You have to make it like an airplane and go mmmmmmm.
Come on.
Okay.
Why don't you go ahead and finish up?
You're probably full now anyway, aren't you?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, hey, hey.
I want to show you this cool toy that I got for Christmas, okay?
All right.
Look, this is Casper the Friendly Ghost, okay?
Watch this.
Will you play with me?
I didn't hear that?
Can you make a spooky sound?
Let's play ghost.
Okay.
Hey, hey, hey.
Look at this toy right here.
Watch this.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Look at this toy right here.
Watch this.
Hey, hey, hey.
Look at this toy right here.
Watch this.
- Why, you play with me?
- Did you hear that? Listen.
- Can you make a spooky sound?
- Let's play ghost.
- Okay, hey, hey, look at this one right here.
Watch this.
Lucky age.
- Oh! - Yeah.
- Hey, would you like to be blood brothers?
- No, that's all right.
- No, that's all right.
- Now, um...
- Look at my little chainsaw.
Look, look, look.
- Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!
- Have you had a physical very recently?
- Not recently, no, I haven't.
- How about you?
- No, because, because, because, look right here.
Okay, okay.
Okay.
First we have to, we have to test your, your head reflex right now.
And...
Okay, okay.
See, see, look, I can play a little piano.
- Uh...
- Oh, really, mature?
Shut up.
Look, look, look, look.
Look, we can pull some blood out.
Look, look.
- Oh, ow, ow, ow, ow!
- Yeah.
Uh...
How old are you, uh, exactly?
How old are...
How old are...
- Uh, I never give my age away.
Be...
Be...
Be...
Because...
Because I...
Because I never do.
- Uh-huh.
Uh, not...
- Well, would you like to take some right now?
- Take some...
- Some pills, you know?
- No.
- Okay.
- Take all you need there.
Maybe take some for later.
- Uh, I'm saving, I'm saving some for later.
Uh, I think maybe...
Well, the gloves are so small, we'll skip the, you know, the...
- Yeah, okay.
- The glove thing.
And...
I'm just...
I'm just gonna give you this, and if you could just fill this up after the show...
- Okay, fine.
- ...show's over, okay?
- Now, uh...
- Put your mind out of the gutter.
- Okay.
- Hmm.
- And we...
We can...
We can just...
Just...
Right, right...
Right here.
- Huh?
- Oh!
- Uh-huh!
- Put 'em in your ears.
- Hello, baby.
- Yeah.
Uh...
Uh...
I understand, uh...
The last...
Last time you visited with us, uh...
You received, after your appearance, kind of...
Kind of an interesting letter from...
Uh...
I...
I...
Right, right, right here.
Listen to this letter.
You are from Colorado who was watching your Thursday, 18th November show, which
included Mr. Peewee Herman.
As a medical specialist in endocrinology...
What is it?
Endocrinology.
I cannot help noticing that Mr. Heer Herman appears to be suffering from a
relatively rare genetic disease,
one in one million, called...
Or...
Or...
Or...
Shut up!
Or...
Or...
Marfan syndrome.
Since this disease is often missed in routine physical examinations, and since
it has potentially
serious consequences when it goes unrecognized and untreated, I'm very much
hoping you will kindly pass this note on to Mr. Herman.
Well, we did, and, uh, have you talked to a physician about this?
No, are you kidding?
Okay.
Uh, we have to go away for a commercial, but, uh, the telethon will continue.
Thank you very much.
Uh, welcome back.
We're nearly at the end of our epic journey here tonight.
I want to, uh, first of all, thank Mr. Bob Costas from NBC Sports for helping
us cover the taxi race, Bob.
Uh, a nice job, a nice job as always, Bob.
And, uh, let me thank the participants in the competition.
Marilyn Keller, by the way, uh, who finished third.
Marianne Balowich, uh, who was our second place winner, and our champion,
Vincent P. Salesi.
Congratulations to everybody who helped us out here tonight.
I'd also like to thank Shaka Khan for being here.
Mr. Pee-wee Herman.
Pee-wee, thank you very much.
Thanks.
Good luck with that painful series of injections I know you'll be undergoing
shortly.
Thanks.
Um, also my thanks to, uh, Madeline Khan for being here.
Hope to see her again soon.
And, uh, Larry, Bud, Melman, always a joy to have Mr. Melman with us.
Uh, Paul and the, Paul and the band.
Paul, can we have Mr. Sanborn back occasionally, do you think?
It'd be terrific.
Uh, David Sanborn on alto saxophone.
Uh, I'd like to thank Bill Wendel and our studio audience.
Uh, Monday night, Jersey Kosinski and Jeff Altman will be here.
Have a good weekend.
Thank you, folks.