Name: Dave Sends Fire Dancers To Meg Parsont | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-11-08T17:00:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Sends Fire Dancers To Meg Parsont | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Sends Fire Dancers To Meg Parsont | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-08. Transcript available.

hey you know you came on a good night ladies and gentlemen it's time for
another one of hal gurney's
network time killers hal are you in there hal gurney our director and has been
for the last 45
years hal gurney and his network time killers hi hi hal how you doing dave hi
how was your weekend
terrific day yeah good what do you have for us tonight well tell me how do you
feel about
polynesian dance numbers dave i'm sorry how how do i feel about what polynesian
dance numbers
hal you know as god almighty is my witness in heaven above i enjoy polynesian
dance numbers as
much as the next guy terrific then i think you're going to enjoy this from
south pacific review one
second how can i interrupt is that patty hurst behind you hi patty nice to see
you i don't think
so dave but i'll look into it okay she wanted to notify the authorities i
thought perhaps that was
her no i don't think okay back to the card yeah here we go all right okay from
the south pacific
review in lando lakes florida here we got tereva cedone and what's and a samoan
fire dance
that's that to me that is unbelievable that to me is unbelievable two nights
ago three nights ago in
las vegas he knocks out buster douglas and tonight he's here with the fire batons
that's not that that's
that's not the same there they are again oh my god they're back
i want to get some black flag for the skirts now you know uh paul we a little
dialing music if you
don't mind a little dialing music we're calling across the street to our good
friend meg parsant
hal do me a favor turn on the external camera if you will and we're calling
over there at simon
and schuster there is the 14th floor look how nice it's dark out now because
did you change your
clocks by the way yes of course i did yeah i get confused i changed all my
light bulbs
you know i want to tell you something uh every time i do this you when you
change your light bulbs for
some reason i don't know if light bulbs are cheaper than they used to be yeah
but mine always bust off
in the socket as you're unscrewing them yeah when when the thing goes dead and
you think oh i have
to change the bulb you get up in there and then the bulb part itself will break
out of the little
screw thing the worst yeah and then and then you have to put on the rubber
boots you have to go
downstairs you have to find the circuit breaker you have to kill the circuit
breaker and then you have to go back
up there to extricate the the rest of the light bulb yeah yeah i wonder i'm
asking myself geez could they
possibly be making light bulbs cheaper these a little bit cheaper no no no i'm
glad you wear those
rubber boots down to the base well you have to be grounded no no it's because
so i don't want to
complete the electrical circuit that's right i'm insulating myself you're insulating
yourself yes
i try to do that a lot myself have you ever changed a light bulb in your life
of course i have
here we go a stepladder at home dialing music please
okay there she is oh there's there's the lovely make look at those people
hanging around out there
they know something's up look at those ne'er-do-wells those uh pinheads those
uh executive blowhards
those hey hey meg it's me dave how you doing hey uh wave to everybody in america
there's lovely meg
how have you been are you enjoying a lovely autumn here in new york yeah it's
been wonderful what did
you do over the weekend i saw foliage upstate new york how far upstate did you
go um a little below
poughkeepsie oh is it nice up there still beautiful really at the peak and uh
did a lot of relaxing you
still have your boyfriend tony yeah i went up with him how's he doing he's
doing okay well good and he's
what does he do for a living he's an architect okay and has he ever actually
designed anything that was
built yeah there's a building over on east 72nd street a luxury apartment
building really he designed
it well he designed a lot of it and he designed the plaza in front you're
kidding i wouldn't kid
you oh so this guy's not just a bonehead then no he's not oh well meg for
heaven's sakes my apologies
i would have been much nicer had i known this okay now hey now see here's
something to do so uh
maybe if you have some time you go over there and take some snapshots of the
building and show
them to us next time okay do you mind doing that no i don't mind i don't think
he would mind either
no does tony mind you being on the show like this i don't think so well good
for tony he seems like
a very nice young man yeah yeah uh and how about your friend what's her name i
always inquire after her
uh yeah you know oh who had her hair her hair done yeah had her hair done she's
doing fine
she ever ask about me um pretty much every day i'm sorry she really doesn't
yeah okay
hey hey meg how about how about that book how's it doing is we're making any
money on the book well
it's doing really well it's hitting the bestseller list yeah it's about that it's
like a number three
this week huh yeah you must be happy oh yeah i'm i'm flying i'm high as a kite
glad to hear uh now i
think uh i think the reason we called uh you tonight is uh geez i'm having
trouble remembering why you
called oh you call we called you yeah i'm breathing kerosene fumes we had fire
dancers
now now meg if you could if you could i think what we want you to do did you
get the sparklers we sent
you i didn't get any sparklers well ask some of those uh morons in the hallway
if they're sparklers
are there sparklers yeah yeah bark at them scream at them well do this hey get
in here with the
sparklers try that all right we have wait a minute who's that woman you're
talking to this is kristin my
assistant well tell her i said hello oh you have an assistant yeah well good
for you hi hi kristin yeah
okay all right now meg what we want you to do is close that door so there's no
light coming in from
the outer office there okay from the hallway okay kristin close the door and
then beat it okay
i think it's nice that you and kristin dress alike well we don't do it
intentionally i know i know how
that goes all right now now now do you have a lighter there and the sparklers i
have the lighter but i i
don't know if i know how to use one all right don't know how to use a lighter
no can i use matches
instead yeah well wouldn't matches be way over your head if you don't know
anything about a lighter no no i
i know okay now now meg now see you see what we want you to do here is turn out
the lights in your
office this is going to be like a little because it gets darker earlier we want
to just see if this
looks like anything can you do this yeah i think i can but for heaven's sakes
safety first oh of course
all right oh okay now we still have this other thing here i guess you can see
that as well can't
you okay may paul maybe a little uh music for this some sort of special effect
all right now meg light
him up there are you still there meg i'm still here wow this is pretty cool isn't
it okay all right let's
see what happens there's some music for the lovely i'm lighting a match okay we
don't see the match
being this strike struck i haven't uh oh there there okay all right now now
light the sparkler and get
get ready oh yeah it's too bad you don't know how to operate a lighter i know
and i'm lighting the
wrong end to the match because it's so dark in here yeah okay well wait i'll
get it i'll get it all
right that's all right i don't want you to feel any pressure from me because i
like you and i'm and i'm
fond of you and i'm i'm happy for the wonderful relationship that's developed
over the last few
months that's good to know i wish i could light this match yeah me too okay
okay here we go now hold it
to the tip of the sparkler all right oh no this is working you know we had guys
carrying torches
like a minute ago dancing around here oh these must be old matches or something
yeah oh sure of course
blame it on us meg well maybe the sparkler here we go all right now if this
doesn't work send one of
those uh uh flame guys over there to light up her office i mean i have the
sparkler right in the
oh man what a night oh look at that look paul look at how disgusting it was
over there
doesn't doesn't know how to operate a cigarette lighter isn't that odd well
these days kids grow
up not knowing oh the boys are back okay here one more time
do me a favor see if you can't send rollo with the torches over to megs so we
see if he can get in
there and dance and then with the flames and we'll see it across the street it'll
be feeling huh do what
okay thank you very much hal turn on the external camera are those guys over
there yet the
okay all right get in there is is this
uh
all right now do i phone meg up all right now let me call her up there uh and
see if we can now are
they going to be able to set fire to their torches over there all right yeah so
they canceled that
hull high and you know what it is paul it's it's like cop rock everybody was uh
singing except every
class in the high school was aerobics meg's talking to them trying to get them
to listen to reason
hello hello oh my god she's changed her number why why why can't i dial seven
silly numbers
six seven did i do something wrong dialing all right here we go how are we
doing on time we're
gonna all right oh man just get it through here come on
hello hello you know i can just go upstairs and scream across there hello okay
one more time
i may be going to mci
hello publicity oh thank god meg you're all right thank god you're all right uh
okay you you know
what these guys are going to do don't you well i have a feeling they're going
to do some dancing
yeah they're going to do some dancing and they're going to turn out they're
going to set fire to
their torches how how are you guys getting along by the way very well they're
very nice does it does
it smell like poi over there um a little bit i wouldn't know the smell but yeah
all right all right
okay all right uh meg all you have to do i guess is is uh turn off the lights
and run for your life
okay okay all right don't don't hang up i want to hear what this sounds like
okay all right paul we
have a little music from you we'll supply the music over there all right go
ahead yeah turn off the
oh there we go oh it's my favorite part of the show here we go across the hall
they're lighting up now
yeah oh
that's it okay that's that's all yeah that's okay wow okay that's funny man man
man i i don't know i don't know meg if you can see it over there but here it
was spectacular
it's pretty spectacular right here it looks like road flares
aren't they aren't they supposed to be dancing around and stuff well you want
them to dance
around even more they wanted to make sure they could be seen were they actually
dancing around
yeah they're they're wiggling around a lot oh yeah i'm not sure i want to see
that uh but we we wanted
to see them like twirl on the fire and that kind of crap oh it's such a small
office i'll see can you
guys twirl or do anything she's talking to the polynesian dancers now yeah here
we go this is
oh that's much better that's perfect wait wait okay yeah all right thanks man
bye bye bye
i'm very embarrassed because that was my idea i thought it'd be fun to see him
over there dancing
around okay like guys waiting for a bus well like miners waiting to be rescued
well the best late
plans uh what are we doing let's do a commercial what the hell let's do one of
those