Name: Dave & Paul Are The Menendez Brothers | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-11-22T16:00:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave & Paul Are The Menendez Brothers | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave & Paul Are The Menendez Brothers | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-22. Transcript available.

You know, this is, uh, we're already, uh, well, we're almost finished with
April here in 1994,
and already we've had some, uh, shocking kind of standout, uh, landmark
criminal activities, uh,
take place. Right. One, of course, that comes to mind immediately would be the
Menendez brothers.
Yeah. You know the crime? These two guys, the parents, they killed their
parents, and then they
took their money, and they went on this wild spending spree, and now they're on
trial, and the
juries were hung. Right. Okay, so there you go. Now the table is set. A couple
of weeks ago,
the Fox Television Network had a, uh, movie about the Menendez brothers, the
two kids, Lyle and,
who is it? Lyle and Eric. Lyle and Eric Menendez. And, uh, people are
fascinated with this case for
one reason or another, and, and the, uh, the Fox made-for-television movie went
through the roof,
sky-high ratings. Millions and millions of people watched it. Uh, NBC is
developing one,
and ABC, I think, has got a, uh, Menendez brothers movie. Uh, so, ladies and
gentlemen,
what I'm getting to, this is a very special night for us here at The Late Show
and, and CBS, and for
you, the studio audience, as well, because tonight, and all throughout the show,
we're going to be
showing you our brand new, made-for-TV, Menendez brothers movie. It's a big, uh...
There's that move again. Oh, do you like that? I love it. What does it mean?
Well, I'm not sure exactly.
I'm just kind of getting the feel of it, working the kinks out of it, as it
were. It feels good.
So, as the movie begins, our Menendez brothers made-for-TV movie, the boys, Lyle
and Eric,
make their deadly pact to murder their parents. One! Yeah!
These are my gifts, Eric. They are not, Lyle. Yes, they are, you little weasel.
Give them here.
Oh! Whoa! Mom and Dad's new run. We're really gonna get it this time. Unless we
get them first.
It's the proudest moment of my adult life. Ah, congratulations. I'm pretty
proud, too. Gives me a little insight. Oh, never mind. I was gonna say, say
something about people who might have hair like that. I see.
Okay. Continuing now, let's check in on the Menendez brothers again. In this
scene, I believe we're gonna see Eric and Lyle spending their parents' vast
fortune on a wild shopping spree immediately following the crime.
What? May I help you, sir? How many wigs can my brother and I get for ten
million dollars? About 50,000.
What do you think, Lyle? Bitch and wig, Eric! We'll take 'em!
We'll take 'em!
We'll take 'em!
We'll take 'em!
We'll take 'em!
We'll take 'em!
We'll take 'em!
We'll take 'em!
We'll take 'em!
Let's check in on the Menendez brothers again. In this scene, I believe we're
gonna see Eric and Lyle spending their parents' vast fortune on a wild shopping
spree immediately following the crime.
Why?
May I help you, sir?
How many wigs can my brother and I get for ten million dollars?
About 50,000.
What do you think, Lyle?
Bitch and wig, Eric!
We'll take 'em!
I couldn't be a bigger dweeb.
Me, too.
So, that's what you have to look forward to tonight, ladies and gentlemen. All
night long, we're gonna be debuting that fascinating, gripping, real-life drama,
the Menendez brothers movie.
Uh, that's the show, and all night long, folks, we're debuting CBS's brand new
Menendez brothers movie. Let's now take a look at the Menendez brothers, see
how they're doing. Here, here now, they have been taken to jail and are
awaiting trial.
Eric, give me those chips.
They're mine, Lyle!
They are, not their mics!
Oh, no!
When the warden sees this mess, we're really gonna get it.
And here comes the warden now!
All right, what's going on here?
Donny Osmond!
Donny Osmond!
Donny Osmond!
The network liked the script, but they thought we had to heat it up a little
bit with some names.
Sure.
Donny Osmond!
Donny Osmond's in there as the warden.
I see here now that it's time for another installment of the Menendez brothers
movie.
Oh, come on now!
In, in this scene, Eric and Lyle are in court facing some heavy questioning
from the prosecution.
Tell the court your name.
I'm Lyle Menendez.
Did you kill your parents?
No.
And your name?
Eric Menendez.
Did you kill your parents?
No.
Well, if Eric nor Lyle killed their parents, who did?
Our other brother, Zeppo Menendez.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.