Name: Dave Tries To Guess His Mom's Thanksgiving Pies 1999 | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-11-28T16:00:20.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Tries To Guess His Mom's Thanksgiving Pies 1999 | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Tries To Guess His Mom's Thanksgiving Pies 1999 | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-28. Transcript available.

Uh, here's what I'm talking about.
1997, here's the pies my mom made.
Cherry, okay, you can guess cherry straight away.
Pie number two, coconut, butterscotch, pecan.
- Yeah, how are you supposed to get that?
You can't.
- And then one year, she made three pies.
Do you remember what they were in 1994?
Oh, this was good.
My mom made three pies.
One was pumpkin.
- Yeah, of course.
- One was cherry.
Can you guess the third?
- No.
- Cherry.
- I'm telling you,
you're better off taking the bus down to Atlantic City.
You know what I'm saying?
- Yeah, she's really, your odds are.
- Yes, sir.
What are we doing now?
Huh?
Where'd the kid go with a, oh, yeah.
What, somebody give you the afternoon off?
- That's nice.
You're out there visiting with the audience.
Yeah, that's good.
I was watching the, CBS covered the parade here,
the Macy's Day Parade.
They covered also a parade in Detroit.
They covered a parade in Nashville.
And then they covered this parade in Hawaii.
Look at this.
- I wish everyone out there a happy Thanksgiving.
- Yeah.
- Hawaii style.
- Happy Thanksgiving, America.
And aloha.
- Right.
Okay, that was the parade in Hawaii.
And I'm watching that and I have just one question.
Who the hell are those people?
Okay, here we go.
Turn on the satellite.
Let's go.
It's time to get the pie.
Hey, Mom.
Hi, Mom.
How are ya?
- Happy Thanksgiving, David.
- Thanks, Mom.
Happy Thanksgiving to you.
How you doing?
- Doing great.
How about you?
- Well, you look pretty good.
You look darn good.
Things must be going all right there, huh?
- Things are going fine, thank you.
- Now, as I recall, every Thanksgiving, for quite some time, you have the
National Guard
over.
Is that correct?
- Not this year.
- How many people you got coming to the house?
- Uh, right now, I think there are ten or so here.
- Mm-hmm.
And was last year it was drifters and hitchhikers?
- Yeah, that was last year.
- Yeah.
- Uh, what's the weather like there in the Circle City?
What's happening?
- It's cloudy and cool.
- That's just the way you want it on Thanksgiving, isn't it?
- That's true.
- Yeah, yeah.
Uh, are you done cooking for the day?
It's all but serving?
That's all you gotta do now?
Serve the stuff?
- That's all I have to do.
- Yeah, okay.
Are you confident?
Are you happy?
Do things seem to be okay?
- Everything's fine.
- Yeah, okay.
Ever had to Heimlich anybody there, Mom?
- No, David.
- Ever had to...
Ever had to pry a big wad of stuffing out of somebody's throat?
Mom, don't think a lot of this stuff is funny, by the way.
Uh, well, it's good to see you, Mom, and I guess you baked some pies, huh?
- I did.
- Now, how many pies did you make?
Let's just get a couple of things straight.
How many did you bake?
- I baked two.
- Two.
Now, do you have any of those gimmicky kind of trick pies?
- Not this year.
- You know, those weird combinations, you know, like rhubarb and lenoch?
- It was rhubarb and it was delicious.
- Yeah, I'm sure it was.
Okay, so you only have the two pies.
- That's true.
- All right, okay.
So now I'm going to try and guess.
We've given up on this telepathic connection, because apparently there is none
here.
I'm just going to flat out guess the pies, all right?
- Yes.
- And when I guess the pie, you stop the clock, I beat the clock, all right?
- All right.
- Are you ready?
Here we go.
- Ready?
- All right.
- All right.
- All right.
- Are you ready?
- Ready?
- All right.
- All right.
- Anton.
Pie number one.
Pumpkin.
- Is that your final answer?
Is that your final answer?
Uh-huh. Yes. Yes, Mom, that's my final answer.
Are you confident?
I'm confident.
You're sure?
I'm sure.
That's right.
Yeah, pumpkin. There you go.
All right.
That's pretty good.
Now, Mom, is this second pie, is it in the fruit or berry family?
It's berry family.
It's in the berry family.
Yes.
Is it, well, all berries are out of season now in this hemisphere.
Is that correct?
That's true.
So are these berries that you picked during the summer and froze?
That's right.
Is it an exotic kind of berry or a common kind of berry?
I would say probably it's exotic.
Exotic. Okay.
Yeah, for us to pick it.
Uh-huh.
All right.
As exotic as we can get here.
Right.
What are you talking about?
All right.
All right.
I have one more question.
Is it deadly poisonous?
Of course not.
Okay.
Is it the, is it, is it, okay, something, a berry.
Is it a berry?
Uh, oh, uh, gooseberry.
No gooseberry.
All right.
All right.
Blueberry.
Not blueberry.
Is it, is it, is it one of the raspberries?
Yes.
All right.
It's one of the raspberries.
Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
There are two kinds of raspberry.
I'm going to go with red raspberry.
You're right.
Yeah.
Man.
That's beautiful.
That's, is that that raspberry chiffon pie?
Yes.
Oh, man, that's good eating.
I've had that, boy.
Oh, boy.
That, that, that'll make you say hello.
That's.
Mom, just for the fun of it, because I know you've been working all week.
Uh, cooking and stuff.
Do me a favor so everybody can see you.
Do you mind opening, just open the refrigerator.
Let them show, show people what your refrigerator looks like on Thanksgiving.
Look at that.
There we go.
Okay.
There we go.
Happy Thanksgiving, Mom.
Nice job.
My mom there in Indianapolis, Indiana.
Yeah.
We'll see you next time.