Name: The Amazing Kreskin Will Blow Your Mind | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-12-11T12:46:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Amazing Kreskin Will Blow Your Mind | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Amazing Kreskin Will Blow Your Mind | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-11. Transcript available.

Our next guest has been amazing audiences for more than four decades.
That's why he is called the Amazing Kreskin.
Ladies and gentlemen, here he is, the Amazing Kreskin.
Good to see you.
Great to see you.
Thanks for being on the show.
You know, it's embarrassing and surprising to me.
We've been on the air for eight years.
You've never been on this show.
And every once in a while, you pass, someone sends a remark,
who's going to be on tomorrow?
They say, Kreskin, you say to them, where did that come from?
And Gar comes on and she says to me before she walks out,
how am I going to do tonight?
You know, I can't lead a normal life, but it's good to be here.
Well, nice to have you here.
You got the letter from me, too?
We'd like to have you on once a week.
Can you do that?
Let me ask you a serious question.
Now, are you, are you...
What did we miss, David?
David, I don't know what we're reading down.
Are you a psychic?
Are you a mind reader?
No, I'm a thought reader.
I perceive people's thoughts.
So you have extra sensory abilities.
A little bit, but some kind of high sensitivity.
And I'm going to try reading you and Paul in a little while.
Yeah, okay.
And that's going to be an interesting thing, David.
But I mean, it's not what you're doing here.
It's not magic.
It's something...
Not sleight of hand, no.
It has to do with concentration.
It has to do with psychology.
It has to do with perceiving thoughts and what have you.
So it's all really...
It's not props.
It's not bunnies and hats.
No, no bunnies and hats.
It might be bunnies in people's minds or haunted houses.
Well, my God, you were doing an interview with me before
with that haunted house fit and the reincarnation of...
Oh, that...
Huh?
Yeah, right.
You're buying a haunted house, huh?
Well, I'm looking for a house, David,
in which strange beings are walking around.
Yeah.
Well, you should come up to my place.
Thank you, man.
You know, you lose your house more an exorcist than a ghost chaser.
That's a problem I don't want to tackle, David.
But you're actually buying a haunted house.
Well, if it's haunted.
If money starts coming into it, they want money for other things, no.
But the regular amount, the $650,000, that doesn't scare me.
It's 18 rooms.
It's a Victorian house built in 1900.
Ghosts never hurt anybody.
If the streets of this city were riddled with ghosts,
it would be the safest city in the world.
You think so?
They're not evil.
No, no, the Amityville horror didn't really work.
It didn't really take place.
But I don't think there are ghosts, David.
But if there is one, I'll buy your house.
All right.
Let's start the experimentations.
Can we have Paul over here?
Paul, come on over.
Paul, did you meet Kreskin?
Just for a moment.
Dave, Paul, how are you?
I see you again.
I know.
Dave, I'm going to tell you.
Your crew is charged.
What do you do to this audience?
I walk up and it's like adrenaline.
We have a great audience, yeah.
Listen, they told me, they say, Kreskin, don't show them anything.
I didn't even show you these.
You had no idea exactly what I was doing.
Do you work with Confederates or Stooges?
No.
I offer $50,000 to anyone who can prove that I employ paid assistants or
Confederates.
And I offer my check if I can't.
Well, not tonight.
Not tonight, no.
But yeah, when you go to like a big public appearance, they hide your check.
And if you can't find it, you do the gig free.
Yeah, I lost in New Zealand a few weeks ago, $51,000.
Is that right?
What happened?
Couldn't find it.
Couldn't get any impression.
Couldn't think.
And that's the ninth time.
If I fail a tenth time, no more check.
Okay, here we go.
Listen, I thought this, your staff said, the more books, I said, well, I can
bring my library.
And Paul, it's a pile of books there.
That's all right.
Take any one of them.
You can look them over.
Hand me one book.
It doesn't matter which one.
Hand you any book.
Yeah, just hand me a book real quick to save some time.
Listen, I'm going to do this first.
And then I got a special test I want to do with Dave.
Paul, if I riffle through this book, look over here.
Yeah.
And you look at the first word on the page.
No one's going to say I'm relying on the beginning of a sentence because that
could be the beginning,
the middle of a sentence.
What's the first word there?
Of.
Okay.
Dave, if I riffle through, you stop.
What's the first word there?
Had.
And I can't, I could not see unless I looked around.
All right, Dave.
I'll riffle through.
Just call stop, Paul.
Stop.
Look at the first word on the page.
Just look at it.
Good.
All right.
Dave, you do the same thing.
Just stop me anywhere.
Okay, right there.
Look at the first word on the page.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And don't say anything.
Just...
Just what?
Uh, Dave, you're...
Uh, it's like, it's a simple word.
It's like of or to or I think it's OF, but I'm not sure.
It's like of.
What is the word?
Of.
Of?
Is it of?
Has the thing started?
Yeah.
Is it of?
Yeah, sure.
It's of.
No, no.
Uh, you're...
The word you looked at.
Yeah, I saw of.
I saw an of.
Uh, no, the first word.
No, no.
The first word on the page, beginning with P?
Yes.
Perfect?
Yes.
All right.
Now.
Now, Dave.
All right.
That's nothing.
That's nothing.
See, I didn't even know we had started.
No, that's...
That's a...
I want to tell you.
Put it there, Kreskin.
Come on.
Put it there.
All right.
Here we go.
Can I tell you something?
Now, let's get to the big stuff.
Let's get to the big stuff.
No one's going to say, well, maybe I'd memorize the page.
Dave, just take one book to hold on.
Dave, take any one of those books.
I don't care which one.
Now, listen.
Hold it below the...
Oh, no, Warden.
Not the prison nurse.
All right.
Close the book, Dave.
Close the book.
Just close it.
Paul, you decide.
You decide on a page by pure chance.
As I riffle through, call that stop.
Stop.
What number did you stop me at?
Uh, 95.
Dave, turn to that.
Turn to that in your book.
Just turn to it.
Can I...
There's a...
Don't let me see the card.
There should be a cue card here.
They told me there's a little pen.
Look, don't let me see it.
You got the page?
Yes.
Look at the top of the page and just tell me this.
Is the sentence...
Is it the beginning of a sentence or is it in the middle of a sentence?
It's the middle of a sentence.
The top line is the middle of a sentence.
Um, I got to tell you something.
All I get...
It's, uh...
There's nothing about a prison there or anything like that.
It's just a little joke.
No.
Uh, Dave, this is the only, uh, uh...
It's something...
What's the first few words on the page?
You want it for me?
What do you think?
I'm a mind reader?
Let me know what they are.
All right, my friend.
All right, David.
Compounds.
Compounds.
Comma.
That's what I got.
Oh, my God.
No Confederates.
No.
No Stooges.
Dave, you know what?
I want to try...
I...
We're concerned about time.
I want to try something with you.
Float.
Can you do that?
No, no.
Not a magic.
Here we go.
Oh, my God.
Do we have time?
And you want to know something, folks?
I never foresaw this happening.
Do we have time for the...
Yeah, we got time.
Go.
Let's do something.
I'd like to try for this test.
Sure, yeah.
We only have one minute?
Yeah, you can do it in a minute, can't you?
No.
Come on.
No, I can't.
It's a test I did at Harris.
I'll tell you something.
Three weeks I was at Harris, and every night I took out a deck of cards.
We only have...
We don't have a little bit more time.
Can I show that it's a straight deck of playing cards?
I don't even know...
Right there, right there, right here.
I need the time to do this test.
Let me...
Maybe we can segue.
David, stand, if you will.
Maybe come around the front here.
Can I ask how the time is going?
I really need more than that.
But we'd have plenty if you'd quit asking.
All right, all right.
Here we go.
Come on.
Here we go.
Here we go.
All right, Dave.
All right.
Pardon me?
All right, Dave.
Yeah.
Take the deck like this, and just...
It's a straight deck, as you can see.
Cut the cards from the top to the bottom like that anyways.
Just put some cards off the top.
Put them...
Now, screw up the deck.
All right, keep them face down.
Now, cut the deck one more time.
Just give it a straight cut.
And finish the...
Hold the deck behind your back.
Now, Dave, with the deck behind you, hold it face down.
Take the top card.
Don't look at it.
Put it in your right or left pocket.
But nobody should see it, not even yourself.
Just put it in your pocket.
Okay, Dave, with the deck still behind you,
take whatever card is on top and put it in the pocket on the other side,
opposite the card, the first card.
Just take it off the top, and we'll take the rest of the deck here,
and we'll set it aside.
Now, Dave, you don't know, truthfully,
you don't know the cards in your pockets.
I have no idea.
The cards in my pocket.
I'm going to name two cards.
I can't...
I say the Jack of Hearts.
Don't reach them.
The Jack of Hearts and the Nine of Clubs.
Those two cards I've named, Nine of Clubs, Jack of Hearts.
Don't reach...
Which card...
What do you pick for the left pocket?
Which do you pick for your right pocket?
I think the Jack of Hearts is in the left, Nine of Clubs is in the right.
You never saw the deck.
The cards were shoveled.
Never saw the deck. No.
Reach in your left pocket, please.
My left pocket.
You said Jack of Hearts, left pocket.
What's the card?
Jack of Hearts, ladies and gentlemen.
It's the Jack of Hearts.
We'll be right back.
What was the card here?
Well, you named...
You hit the card.
The other one you said was this stock was a Nine of Clubs.
But it is a Nine of Clubs.
You got it.
It's the amazing question.
Good night, everybody.
Good night.