Name: Dave's Holiday Eggnog Fun Fest | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-12-12T16:00:43.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave's Holiday Eggnog Fun Fest | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave's Holiday Eggnog Fun Fest | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-12. Transcript available.

Well, we have a...
Oh, hi, how are you?
What do you got there?
Boy, that looks tasty.
What is that, eggnog?
You drinking some eggnog?
Boy, it looks good.
All right.
That's plenty. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.
No, that's...
Time for you to go. Time for you to go home now.
Go ahead. Thank you. Happy holidays.
Oh, that unpleasant.
Letter number four.
Letter number four.
Dear Dave, what are you doing for Christmas?
Do you want to come over? Sincerely, Lisa Smith.
Well, that's cute. That's very nice.
Lisa writes in, wants to know if I'd like to come over.
You know, but I'm doing this year what I do every year.
I drink a huge bowl of eggnog.
It's kind of a tradition for us.
Last year, two years ago, look at this.
This was two years ago.
Look at the size of that bowl of eggnog.
That's pretty impressive, isn't it?
Okay.
A large bowl.
And then now, last year, you see, to make it a little bit more funny,
we increased the size of the bowl and I drank the eggnog.
There, look at this.
A bigger bowl of eggnog.
Look at that.
Okay.
So, in keeping with our little tradition tonight, ladies and gentlemen, by way
of celebrating
the holidays, I'll be drinking eggnog from a much, much larger bowl.
Bring it in, kids.
Here we go.
Hello.
Hello.
How are you?
Fine.
Thank you very much.
Thank you, Harold.
Nice job.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you, Harold.
Nice job.
Happy holidays.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
It's freezing.
Hey.
It's so cool.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
I'm frozen.
Close up the mailbag.
Close it out.
Ladies and gentlemen, because it's the holidays, we have for you now a special
message from the
Eggnog Council.
The National Eggnog Council would like to remind Americans that eggnog was
never intended for
human consumption.
Eggnog's proper use when dried and hardened, insulating homes.
A message from the National Eggnog Council.
There you go.
There's your Eggnog Council, ladies and gentlemen.
A pleasure.
We're right in the middle of the holiday season, and we consider ourselves to
be right on the
cutting edge of television.
I don't think you've ever seen this on television before.
You know what we have here for the holidays right here in the theater?
Don't tell me.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have.
We're going to unveil it for you right now and turn it on.
Is everybody ready?
Yes, yes, yes.
How about a drum roll?
Ladies and gentlemen, it's the Late Show Eggnog Fountain.
Beautiful.
Just lovely, isn't it?
And of course, it's recycled via a pump, and as a result, it has a chance to be
exposed
to the same bacteria over and over and over again, guaranteeing that it--
Oh, well, get your own eggnog pump, for God's sake.
That's beautiful.
You know, you're going to think I'm stupid or have led a sheltered life.
I don't believe I've ever had eggnog in my entire life.
Oh, come on.
Nope.
I don't think so.
And some kind of distilled spirits go into it, don't you?
Dispilled, yeah.
Dispilled spirits.
I'm sure you didn't have some before.
I wish to God I was still drinking.
But I have here some eggnog.
Now, right away I'm suspicious because it's made by the Land O' Lakes people,
and I think
to myself, well, what do they know about making eggnog?
Well, they are the butter.
Aren't they the butter folks?
Yeah, they're the butter people.
So, normally you would take this, and what would you add to it?
Is it rum?
You add rum to it, yeah.
Rum.
How much rum would you put in here?
You put in like a big, well, mostly rum, and just top it off with a little eggnog.
And is it all right to drink it this way?
Straight, you mean?
Well, no, just have a little taste.
Well, of course.
I don't think it has any rum in it right now.
It has no rum in it, so there's no point in drinking it.
Yeah, no, it's delicious stuff, actually.
So, there's no nog in this?
It's just egg?
Is that right?
Well, eggnog, I suppose.
Uh-oh.
Yeah, that was smooth.
Ah.
I'm telling you, this would be great with rum.
Yeah?
But then again, what wouldn't, for God's sake?
Well, hats off to the Land O'Lakes people.
Okay.
Letter number three.
Dear Dave, I noticed you enjoy a beefy bowl of eggnog from time to time.
Where exactly does nog come from?
Just curious, B.J. Shuler, Manson, Iowa.
It's no secret, nog, as you call it, comes from a recipe.
And here tonight to tell us all about that recipe, late show announcer, Alan Coulter.
Alan?
Thank you very much, Dave.
You know, everyone's favorite holiday treat is just a mix of a few simple
ingredients.
Ten eggs, two cups of sugar, four cups of milk, one half cup of brandy, one
quarter cup of light rum, a dash of vanilla, and a dash of ground nutmeg.
That's all it's made.
Good, Alan.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
Don't you put cinnamon?
Is it nutmeg and not cinnamon?
I thought you put cinnamon in there.
It does.
Cinnamons.
Really?
Cinnamon?
I think they're supposed to have cinnamon in there.
I always thought of cinnamon.
Yeah, right.
But let me check on that.
Okay.
Three tablespoons of cinnamon.
I think you're right, Dave.
You're right.
That's right.
Alan Coulter, Laura.
This is top flight comedy.
Wow.
Yeah.
You got a guy under there.
What was he doing?
Why do we got a guy under there, for God's sake?
Dear Dave, how old is your eggnog?
Just curious.
Elise Ashuri, Silver Spring, Maryland.
Excellent question, Elise.
And what a coincidence, because tonight, right now, it's time to play How Old
Is Your Eggnog?
Here we go.
All right.
We have movie stars on tonight.
Ooh.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, here is our surprise celebrity guest to play How
Old Is Your Eggnog?
You're right now.
Come on in and say a little.
Mr. Martin Church!
Come up later and pull out the pillow for him.
Okay.
All right, keep going.
All right.
Okay, Marty, it's now that time.
You know how we play the game.
Go ahead, load up, taste it.
I sure as hell do, Davey.
And then taste it.
Tell us, how old is your eggnog?
Here we go.
All right.
Okay.
I say, uh, uh, that's, that's about a year and a half, Dave.
A year and a half.
All right, Stephanie, let's see the actual expiration date on the eggnog.
There it is.
And it's July '94.
Yes, close enough.
What do we have for him, Stephanie?
A brand new touchbuster.
It's a touchbuster.
A touchbuster.
Good luck to you.
Thank you for playing How Old Is Your Eggnog.
Easy, easy.
Yeah, he's fine.
Get in.
Get in.
Just get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
We'll be back with Gina Dagan.
Oh!
There you go.
You want to, want to participate in our holiday tradition, Kenneth?
Well, there you go.
All right, Anton.
There you go.
All right.
Yeah, but that ain't Shakespeare.
All right.
And I told you who's on the program.
Ladies and gentlemen, here in my right hand, I have a cow.
What?
Oh, no.
Hey, ho.
Here.
Here, I'm sorry.
I don't feel so good, Dave.
You look great, though.
It'll be fine.
Merry Christmas, Papi.
I'm happy.
I feel sick not good.
Merry Christmas.
We'll get you a cab.
All right.
Here you go.
Careful.
Hair.
Hair.
He's got the wacky comedy hair on tonight.
Well, I like it.
Here we go.
Questions to ask yourself before buying eggnog.
Oh.
It's the holiday's most popular beverage.
It's the party beverage of the holidays, and it's been that way for centuries.
Top ten questions to ask yourself before buying the eggnog.
Here we go.
Number ten.
Am I feeling sufficiently noggy today?
That would be a good one.
Number nine.
What's the best egg to nog ratio?
Number eight.
I have high cholesterol.
Is there egg white nog?
Number seven.
What other disgusting egg-based beverages could I try?
Number six.
Has this egg nog been approved by the nog master general?
Number five.
Is egg my best choice for nog?
Number four.
Which one's the egg nog that all the rappers drink?
Number three.
Do I really feel like drinking this crap?
Number two.
What would Jesus drink?
Number one.
How long will this stuff keep in my spider hole?
There you go.
Yes, sir.
We got another.
Hi.
How are you doing?
Hi, Dave.
Good.
How are you?
You got a little snack.
You got your dinner.
What do you got egg nog?
What's going on there?
I'm wondering how can I tell if it's gone bad or not?
I think it's probably all right.
There's no expiration date on there at all?
No.
Where'd you get it?
Here in the neighborhood?
Yeah, I picked it up around the corner.
What's your name?
My name's Andy Pollovan.
Andy, where are you from?
I'm from Vineyard Haven, Massachusetts.
Oh, I've been up there.
That's nice up there.
Beautiful up there, but cold this time of year.
Oh, yeah.
It's cold.
What do you do for a living up there?
You go out looking for stripers?
I do, actually.
The season's just over, but I own and operate a taxi company up there.
Oh, good.
Well, good for you.
It's fun, obviously, to celebrate the end of the year.
And you got some, what did you say, is it eggnog?
Yeah, it's eggnog.
Yeah.
No expiration date, though.
And you're nervous about it, because if you get the green light on this, you're
going
to drink it, right?
Absolutely.
I bought it from Rupert, so I'm wondering what's going on with it.
We got a guy.
Is Harold around?
Harold Larkin?
Oh, there he is, right there.
Now, for some reason, Harold knows about that.
Harold, do you mind helping out here?
Come in here.
This guy is from Vineyard Haven, Massachusetts.
What do you think?
That's bad.
That's, that's, that's, that's real bad.
Oh, it's bad?
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
Oh, God.
He's going to take care of it for you.
Look out!
It's going to blow!
It's going to blow!
It's going to blow!
Thanks.
That was close.
Thank you very much, Harold.
All right.
Nice job.
All right.
Thank you.
There's a tradition.
We have a little tradition here at the Late Show.
It's called the Late Show Holiday Eggnog Spit Take.
You know what I'm talking about?
No, I don't.
You know what a, you know what a spit take is?
You just, where you, some of you drink a little something and it,
ba-boom, you kind of spit it out.
Well, we've turned it into a tradition here, you see.
And we would, we would, uh, like to know if you, sir,
would like to be the, uh, person who proudly continues that tradition
for us here tonight.
tonight. All right, Jimmy, come on in. Or what's his name? What's his name?
Jimmy, what's his name?
All right, gentlemen, from Asheville, North Carolina, have you ever been in the
Ed Sullivan
Theater before? I have not. It's magnificent, isn't it? It is beautiful. All
right, now I'm
going to demonstrate for you how this spit take works. Biff, where are you,
buddy? Where's
our friend Biff Henderson, stage end manager? There he is, Biff Henderson. All
right. Thank
you very much, Biff. All right. Just relax. Take it easy there for a second.
Now, here's
how it works. When I've got a load of this eggnog here, what's the expiration
date on this,
Biff, by the way? December 17th. This year? 1978. We're drinking putty here
tonight, ladies
and gentlemen. Okay, so I'll start to drink and then you say this to me. Dave,
that ain't
eggnog. Okay, here. Here's how we do it. Is this where it goes or this one
right here? Which
one? This one right here? This one right here. Okay, here, watch. This would be
good. Anton,
how about a drum roll? Uh, Dave. Hmm? That ain't eggnog.
That is. Eddie, you were right about that. That ain't how it goes.
Whew. By the way, you're airing. The doorman was Jimmy. It was the phrase you
were going to
call me Jimmy for the next five minutes. I'm sorry. No, forgive me. It's not
Jimmy at all.
Is that other guy? Jimmy's still there? Let's see if he's still there. So, I
don't know. He's the one who's supposed to. Hey, Jimmy.
Hey, Jimmy. How's it going, my man? You're doing a great job. Yeah. Okay.
He's seating people. He'll be standing there until Labor Day. All right, now,
uh, we would like to add
you now to our, uh, tradition of, and a lot of famous people have done it, so
you're in pretty good
company. Okay? So, let's just try it here with you, and I'll do the same thing.
Well, okay. Let's just
go ahead and try it now. And then right into the camera, and then give it all
you got there. Okay,
here you go. Uh, Eric? Uh, that ain't eggnog, buddy.
*Cheering*
Lovely, is it?
Thank you very much. Great job.
The tradition continues.
Goo Goo Dolls, good to have you with us. Glad you could make it.
Help yourself to some eggnog, if you like. Go right ahead. Go nuts.
Oh, here's a special treat, ladies and gentlemen.
You've loved him in the past, Sherman the Sneezing Monkey, so well.
But now we have him singing a holiday duet with the sneezing baby panda,
alright?
So first you'll see Sherman the Sneezing Monkey, and then keep your eye on the
baby panda.
Take it away, kids.
*Music*
There you go.
You see, that's all you need.
Have you got an iPod? Do you know all about the iPod?
Everybody has.
They're no bigger than a deck of cards, and they're just tremendous.
Well, they've introduced a new member of the iPod line.
Can you see what this one is?
What is this?
What is this special for the Christmas holidays?
This is the i-nog.
i-nog.
What is that?
Watch this.
Oh, look.
That's great.
The i-nog.
Stage hands having a little fun with me again.
Well, here's what I was talking about.
We had the late show party the other night, and there's some exciting.
I remember one thing odd happened.
Biff came up to me about halfway through the party.
You know...
Hey, Biff, how you doing?
I wanted to say something to you for a long time.
Okay.
I hate you.
I've always hated you.
And I'm not the only one.
The staff, the crew, the guests, even the audience.
You make everybody sick.
You know, Biff, there's no booze in that eggnog.
How about those decorations?
Did you see those decorations at the party?
That was a blue chip affair, wasn't it?
Look at that.
PS 48.
Dear Dave, what do you have planned for the holidays?
Daniel Dalton, Beaverton, Oregon.
You know, Daniel, this is an excellent question, and I think you know the
answer to the question.
And what I do for the holidays, and it's kind of a tradition and it's something
I'm very, very proud of.
Now, every year on Christmas or right around Christmas, I try to drink more eggnog
than the year before.
Here, look at the videotape.
Watch the videotape.
Okay.
1993.
Okay.
That's 1994.
Look at how big that bowl is.
Look at the size of that.
It's huge.
There you are.
Now, look at this.
This is last year, 1995.
Whoa.
Taking a dive.
Okay.
1996.
Even more eggnog.
Paul, cover me.
Here we go.
Good luck.
I'll be out here.
Put my feet here?
No, feet down here.
Feet down here.
Okay.
Okay.
Here we go.
My feet down here.
Okay.
Okay.
Here we go.
My feet down here.
i'll be out here put my feet here feet down here okay okay here we go my feet
down here
okay let it go boys
oh
wow
merry christmas
oh
thank you

Dave's Holiday Eggnog Fun Fest | David Letterman

Well, we have a...
Oh, hi, how are you?
What do you got there?
Boy, that looks tasty.
What is that, eggnog?
You drinking some eggnog?
Boy, it looks good.
All right.
That's plenty. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.
No, that's...
Time for you to go. Time for you to go home now.
Go ahead. Thank you. Happy holidays.
Oh, that unpleasant.
Letter number four.
Letter number four.
Dear Dave, what are you doing for Christmas?
Do you want to come over? Sincerely, Lisa Smith.
Well, that's cute. That's very nice.
Lisa writes in, wants to know if I'd like to come over.
You know, but I'm doing this year what I do every year.
I drink a huge bowl of eggnog.
It's kind of a tradition for us.
Last year, two years ago, look at this.
This was two years ago.
Look at the size of that bowl of eggnog.
That's pretty impressive, isn't it?
Okay.
A large bowl.
And then now, last year, you see, to make it a little bit more funny,
we increased the size of the bowl and I drank the eggnog.
There, look at this.
A bigger bowl of eggnog.
Look at that.
Okay.
So, in keeping with our little tradition tonight, ladies and gentlemen, by way
of celebrating
the holidays, I'll be drinking eggnog from a much, much larger bowl.
Bring it in, kids.
Here we go.
Hello.
Hello.
How are you?
Fine.
Thank you very much.
Thank you, Harold.
Nice job.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you, Harold.
Nice job.
Happy holidays.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
It's freezing.
Hey.
It's so cool.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
I'm frozen.
Close up the mailbag.
Close it out.
Ladies and gentlemen, because it's the holidays, we have for you now a special
message from the
Eggnog Council.
The National Eggnog Council would like to remind Americans that eggnog was
never intended for
human consumption.
Eggnog's proper use when dried and hardened, insulating homes.
A message from the National Eggnog Council.
There you go.
There's your Eggnog Council, ladies and gentlemen.
A pleasure.
We're right in the middle of the holiday season, and we consider ourselves to
be right on the
cutting edge of television.
I don't think you've ever seen this on television before.
You know what we have here for the holidays right here in the theater?
Don't tell me.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have.
We're going to unveil it for you right now and turn it on.
Is everybody ready?
Yes, yes, yes.
How about a drum roll?
Ladies and gentlemen, it's the Late Show Eggnog Fountain.
Beautiful.
Just lovely, isn't it?
And of course, it's recycled via a pump, and as a result, it has a chance to be
exposed
to the same bacteria over and over and over again, guaranteeing that it--
Oh, well, get your own eggnog pump, for God's sake.
That's beautiful.
You know, you're going to think I'm stupid or have led a sheltered life.
I don't believe I've ever had eggnog in my entire life.
Oh, come on.
Nope.
I don't think so.
And some kind of distilled spirits go into it, don't you?
Dispilled, yeah.
Dispilled spirits.
I'm sure you didn't have some before.
I wish to God I was still drinking.
But I have here some eggnog.
Now, right away I'm suspicious because it's made by the Land O' Lakes people,
and I think
to myself, well, what do they know about making eggnog?
Well, they are the butter.
Aren't they the butter folks?
Yeah, they're the butter people.
So, normally you would take this, and what would you add to it?
Is it rum?
You add rum to it, yeah.
Rum.
How much rum would you put in here?
You put in like a big, well, mostly rum, and just top it off with a little eggnog.
And is it all right to drink it this way?
Straight, you mean?
Well, no, just have a little taste.
Well, of course.
I don't think it has any rum in it right now.
It has no rum in it, so there's no point in drinking it.
Yeah, no, it's delicious stuff, actually.
So, there's no nog in this?
It's just egg?
Is that right?
Well, eggnog, I suppose.
Uh-oh.
Yeah, that was smooth.
Ah.
I'm telling you, this would be great with rum.
Yeah?
But then again, what wouldn't, for God's sake?
Well, hats off to the Land O'Lakes people.
Okay.
Letter number three.
Dear Dave, I noticed you enjoy a beefy bowl of eggnog from time to time.
Where exactly does nog come from?
Just curious, B.J. Shuler, Manson, Iowa.
It's no secret, nog, as you call it, comes from a recipe.
And here tonight to tell us all about that recipe, late show announcer, Alan Coulter.
Alan?
Thank you very much, Dave.
You know, everyone's favorite holiday treat is just a mix of a few simple
ingredients.
Ten eggs, two cups of sugar, four cups of milk, one half cup of brandy, one
quarter cup of light rum, a dash of vanilla, and a dash of ground nutmeg.
That's all it's made.
Good, Alan.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
Don't you put cinnamon?
Is it nutmeg and not cinnamon?
I thought you put cinnamon in there.
It does.
Cinnamons.
Really?
Cinnamon?
I think they're supposed to have cinnamon in there.
I always thought of cinnamon.
Yeah, right.
But let me check on that.
Okay.
Three tablespoons of cinnamon.
I think you're right, Dave.
You're right.
That's right.
Alan Coulter, Laura.
This is top flight comedy.
Wow.
Yeah.
You got a guy under there.
What was he doing?
Why do we got a guy under there, for God's sake?
Dear Dave, how old is your eggnog?
Just curious.
Elise Ashuri, Silver Spring, Maryland.
Excellent question, Elise.
And what a coincidence, because tonight, right now, it's time to play How Old
Is Your Eggnog?
Here we go.
All right.
We have movie stars on tonight.
Ooh.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, here is our surprise celebrity guest to play How
Old Is Your Eggnog?
You're right now.
Come on in and say a little.
Mr. Martin Church!
Come up later and pull out the pillow for him.
Okay.
All right, keep going.
All right.
Okay, Marty, it's now that time.
You know how we play the game.
Go ahead, load up, taste it.
I sure as hell do, Davey.
And then taste it.
Tell us, how old is your eggnog?
Here we go.
All right.
Okay.
I say, uh, uh, that's, that's about a year and a half, Dave.
A year and a half.
All right, Stephanie, let's see the actual expiration date on the eggnog.
There it is.
And it's July '94.
Yes, close enough.
What do we have for him, Stephanie?
A brand new touchbuster.
It's a touchbuster.
A touchbuster.
Good luck to you.
Thank you for playing How Old Is Your Eggnog.
Easy, easy.
Yeah, he's fine.
Get in.
Get in.
Just get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
Get in the eggnog.
We'll be back with Gina Dagan.
Oh!
There you go.
You want to, want to participate in our holiday tradition, Kenneth?
Well, there you go.
All right, Anton.
There you go.
All right.
Yeah, but that ain't Shakespeare.
All right.
And I told you who's on the program.
Ladies and gentlemen, here in my right hand, I have a cow.
What?
Oh, no.
Hey, ho.
Here.
Here, I'm sorry.
I don't feel so good, Dave.
You look great, though.
It'll be fine.
Merry Christmas, Papi.
I'm happy.
I feel sick not good.
Merry Christmas.
We'll get you a cab.
All right.
Here you go.
Careful.
Hair.
Hair.
He's got the wacky comedy hair on tonight.
Well, I like it.
Here we go.
Questions to ask yourself before buying eggnog.
Oh.
It's the holiday's most popular beverage.
It's the party beverage of the holidays, and it's been that way for centuries.
Top ten questions to ask yourself before buying the eggnog.
Here we go.
Number ten.
Am I feeling sufficiently noggy today?
That would be a good one.
Number nine.
What's the best egg to nog ratio?
Number eight.
I have high cholesterol.
Is there egg white nog?
Number seven.
What other disgusting egg-based beverages could I try?
Number six.
Has this egg nog been approved by the nog master general?
Number five.
Is egg my best choice for nog?
Number four.
Which one's the egg nog that all the rappers drink?
Number three.
Do I really feel like drinking this crap?
Number two.
What would Jesus drink?
Number one.
How long will this stuff keep in my spider hole?
There you go.
Yes, sir.
We got another.
Hi.
How are you doing?
Hi, Dave.
Good.
How are you?
You got a little snack.
You got your dinner.
What do you got egg nog?
What's going on there?
I'm wondering how can I tell if it's gone bad or not?
I think it's probably all right.
There's no expiration date on there at all?
No.
Where'd you get it?
Here in the neighborhood?
Yeah, I picked it up around the corner.
What's your name?
My name's Andy Pollovan.
Andy, where are you from?
I'm from Vineyard Haven, Massachusetts.
Oh, I've been up there.
That's nice up there.
Beautiful up there, but cold this time of year.
Oh, yeah.
It's cold.
What do you do for a living up there?
You go out looking for stripers?
I do, actually.
The season's just over, but I own and operate a taxi company up there.
Oh, good.
Well, good for you.
It's fun, obviously, to celebrate the end of the year.
And you got some, what did you say, is it eggnog?
Yeah, it's eggnog.
Yeah.
No expiration date, though.
And you're nervous about it, because if you get the green light on this, you're
going
to drink it, right?
Absolutely.
I bought it from Rupert, so I'm wondering what's going on with it.
We got a guy.
Is Harold around?
Harold Larkin?
Oh, there he is, right there.
Now, for some reason, Harold knows about that.
Harold, do you mind helping out here?
Come in here.
This guy is from Vineyard Haven, Massachusetts.
What do you think?
That's bad.
That's, that's, that's, that's real bad.
Oh, it's bad?
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
Oh, God.
He's going to take care of it for you.
Look out!
It's going to blow!
It's going to blow!
It's going to blow!
Thanks.
That was close.
Thank you very much, Harold.
All right.
Nice job.
All right.
Thank you.
There's a tradition.
We have a little tradition here at the Late Show.
It's called the Late Show Holiday Eggnog Spit Take.
You know what I'm talking about?
No, I don't.
You know what a, you know what a spit take is?
You just, where you, some of you drink a little something and it,
ba-boom, you kind of spit it out.
Well, we've turned it into a tradition here, you see.
And we would, we would, uh, like to know if you, sir,
would like to be the, uh, person who proudly continues that tradition
for us here tonight.
tonight. All right, Jimmy, come on in. Or what's his name? What's his name?
Jimmy, what's his name?
All right, gentlemen, from Asheville, North Carolina, have you ever been in the
Ed Sullivan
Theater before? I have not. It's magnificent, isn't it? It is beautiful. All
right, now I'm
going to demonstrate for you how this spit take works. Biff, where are you,
buddy? Where's
our friend Biff Henderson, stage end manager? There he is, Biff Henderson. All
right. Thank
you very much, Biff. All right. Just relax. Take it easy there for a second.
Now, here's
how it works. When I've got a load of this eggnog here, what's the expiration
date on this,
Biff, by the way? December 17th. This year? 1978. We're drinking putty here
tonight, ladies
and gentlemen. Okay, so I'll start to drink and then you say this to me. Dave,
that ain't
eggnog. Okay, here. Here's how we do it. Is this where it goes or this one
right here? Which
one? This one right here? This one right here. Okay, here, watch. This would be
good. Anton,
how about a drum roll? Uh, Dave. Hmm? That ain't eggnog.
That is. Eddie, you were right about that. That ain't how it goes.
Whew. By the way, you're airing. The doorman was Jimmy. It was the phrase you
were going to
call me Jimmy for the next five minutes. I'm sorry. No, forgive me. It's not
Jimmy at all.
Is that other guy? Jimmy's still there? Let's see if he's still there. So, I
don't know. He's the one who's supposed to. Hey, Jimmy.
Hey, Jimmy. How's it going, my man? You're doing a great job. Yeah. Okay.
He's seating people. He'll be standing there until Labor Day. All right, now,
uh, we would like to add
you now to our, uh, tradition of, 