Name: Jimmy Carter Tells Dave A Funny Story | Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-12-29T21:16:37.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jimmy Carter Tells Dave A Funny Story | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jimmy Carter Tells Dave A Funny Story | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-29. Transcript available.

Well, President Carter, I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate you
being here.
It's very nice of you. Thank you.
Well, I think I'm glad to see you.
Because I know you have a very busy schedule, and to make room for us really
means a great deal to me.
Thank you again.
Well, I just thank you for having me on your show, Regis.
We don't get many presidents on this television show, and in fact, we've never
had any.
But we're very excited, as I have said all night, that our first guest has had
some time to come by and say hello.
Please welcome the author of this book right here.
It's entitled Talking Peace.
And, ladies and gentlemen, the 39th president of the United States of America,
Jimmy Carter.
Jimmy!
That's very nice.
You got a standing ovation there.
Thank you.
Good for you.
Good for you.
Thank you very much for your time.
I know you must be busy and certainly have better things to do than say hello
to us, but I'm grateful to you for it.
Well, I appreciate being here.
I'm glad to sell the book.
That's the way I make a living.
Oh, sure. Yeah.
Do you...
I mentioned that we met once before.
Do you remember that?
Do you remember the circumstances under that?
Well...
You're not under oath.
Well, you know, but I've always made a practice to tell the truth and, you know,
I meet a lot of famous people, DiMaggio, Carlson, Leno, and so forth.
I can't say that I remember that.
You don't remember?
No.
It was...
You were actually doing another television show, live at five, across the hall.
I remember that television show very well.
And I came up and you had Footsteps of Abraham.
Was that the name of the book?
Something like that?
My memory is as good as yours.
Blood of Abraham.
Blood of Abraham.
All right.
All right.
Still on sale.
Yeah.
Okay.
And I came up and I had you autograph a copy for me.
Oh, very good.
Yeah.
Thank you for remembering.
Thank you for remembering.
Oh, sure.
Thank you.
What did you make of the events a couple of weeks ago?
It was a nice honor for you to be there and to be recognized for your efforts
in the Middle East.
Well, it was exciting and gratifying.
You know, there were a lot of preparations that had to go into it, though.
That was the first time I visited the White House since I left 12 and a half
years ago.
Is that right?
And Bill Clinton explained to me all the preparations that had to be made.
And this is a true story.
He called Prime Minister Rabin, who did not want to come.
And he finally said, okay, please come.
I think it'll be a momentous, earth-shaking event.
And I'd like for the world to see you and Arafat on the same stage.
And Rabin finally said, okay, I'll come.
And then he said, well, I'd like you all also to exchange a handshake.
And Prime Minister Rabin said, I'll exchange a handshake, but no kisses.
This is a true story.
It's like my honeymoon, you know.
Yeah, I know.
You hadn't been there in 12 and a half years?
No, even when they hung my portrait in the White House, they had a ceremony.
Yeah.
But they forgot to invite me.
I didn't even know.
So I saw my portrait in the White House and my wife for the first time two
weeks ago.
Now, we know about some of the things that you do, certainly.
And we know about some of the things that other former presidents do.
And I think something that kind of got the attention of folks, I don't know, a
year and a half ago, a couple of years ago,
former President Reagan allegedly received like $2 million to go speak in Japan,
I think.
I may have the facts not exactly nailed down on this, but yeah.
Now, can you comment on that?
Is that all right for him to be taking a $2 million fee to go someplace and
speak?
Well, you know, I'm not a judge, David.
And I hate to-
Former president.
Well, I know, but I hate to-
I hate to say anything against President Reagan.
I hate to criticize another president.
But if anybody knows of another opportunity for a $2 million fee, I'm-
Oh, yeah?
Well, get in line.
Yeah, I like it.
When you were very fit, when you were in office and, of course, traveling
around,
and I don't think you speak many languages, do you?
How many do you speak other languages?
Just one of us.
Just English?
Yeah, so it can be-
I also speak Spanish.
You speak a little Spanish as well?
Yes, sir.
Good for you.
But it can be an obstacle, certainly.
Maybe not to the extent that it was then.
But when you go to a foreign country, you're at the mercy of a translator.
Do you travel with your own translator?
Does the leaders of the other country provide you with one?
How does that work?
Well, we were just talking about Japan.
I went to Japan the year that I got out of the White House, involuntarily.
And when I got there, I was asked to make some speeches.
And I made a graduation speech to a small college near Osaka.
And since I had just left the White House, the audience was really uptight.
It was students and their parents and teachers.
And I was a little bit nervous, too.
So I thought that I would just put them at ease with a joke.
Good idea.
And it takes...
I try that occasionally here myself.
I wondered about that.
And then...
I knew it took longer.
It's a good thing you've got the Secret Service with you.
I knew it took longer to say anything in Japanese and it does English.
So I decided to take the shortest joke I knew.
It was one left over from my original governor's campaign.
It was not a very funny joke, but brief.
So I told my joke.
And the interpreter gave my joke to the audience.
And there was uproarious laughter.
It was the best I have ever gotten from an audience.
And so I couldn't wait to get through with my talk.
I went back to the holding room with the interpreter.
And I said, tell me how you told that joke.
I want to use it the same way in English.
And he was very evasive.
But I insisted.
And he finally ducked his head and turned away.
And he said, I told the audience,
President Carter told a funny story.
Everyone must laugh.
That's all.
So sometimes...
Oh, no.
Yeah, really.
That's what happens.
So sometimes an interpreter can really help.
But this is another true story.
I went...
The first time I made a foreign trip as president,
it was to Poland.
And then I went to other places.
But when I got off a plane in Poland,
I had an interpreter there.
And I didn't write my speech out ahead of time.
It was just a greeting.
It was a very welcoming group
and mostly heavily Catholic.
And I got out and I told them
that I understood
that their heritage was one
of commitment
and love of freedom.
Love of freedom.
And the interpreter said
that I knew about their commitment
to free love.
Well, it didn't go well
with the audience.
And...
And this is...
You can look it up in the record.
It's a true story.
All over the world.
You know, I was accused of saying
that Polish Catholic people
were committed to free love.
Wow.
Welcome words from the president.
The book, Talking Peace,
I know a little bit about this.
It's for students,
younger people,
but I guess for everybody.
It's for students in high school
and college
and also for their teachers
and their parents.
It describes all the wars
in the world,
what causes war,
the connection between peace
and democracy,
freedom,
human rights,
alleviation of suffering.
What can be done,
the techniques of mediation,
what can be done to end wars,
and what young people
in this nation can do about it.
And the same techniques
that you use to resolve conflicts,
say, in the Middle East,
like at Camp David,
are the ones that you can use
within a family
or within a high school
and the commitment
to freedom and democracy.
So all of this is in one book.
It must have been
very gratifying for you
to be there
a couple of weeks ago
when they signed
the framework for peace.
And I personally
have a lot of admiration for you
and I thank you very much
for your time.
Nice to have you here.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Thanks again, sir.
We'll see you next time.