Name: Paul Shaffer's Squattin' New Year's Eve | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2024-12-31T16:16:30.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Paul Shaffer's Squattin' New Year's Eve | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Paul Shaffer's Squattin' New Year's Eve | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-31. Transcript available.

Hey, welcome back to the show, ladies and gentlemen.
Tom Brokaw is here, Tom Arnold, and the Rembrandts.
What do we know about the Rembrandts?
Brand new record.
Happening young group.
Absolutely.
I bet they're from Seattle.
They're not grunge.
They're not exactly grunge.
Oh, okay.
They are, oh, one's from Minneapolis, one's from LA.
There you go.
Here's a little something for a perk up your holiday spirits.
Watch this, a little special treat for you.
Wow.
Yeah, I'm trying to impress the drummer's girlfriend.
Fipped a little steam vent back there.
I tell you what, wake up the kids.
I'll be doing it again later in the show, okay?
Ladies and gentlemen, how about a nice holiday welcome for Kevin Costner?
Kevin, stand up, take a bow.
Where is he?
You know, right there, that guy is a movie star, that Kevin Costner.
Do you know, I had a meeting with him earlier today about the Jewish version of
Dances with Wolves.
Uh-huh.
Blinces at Wolves.
There you go.
Come on, let's hear it.
What do you do?
Okay.
Let's do the top ten list and bring out a guest.
It's amazing to me that all of these wonderful, fabulous stars would take the
time out of their busy holiday schedule to show up and enjoy a taping of our
show.
It's just a Wednesday night show.
It's not really a show.
Sullivan never had this many slavery.
Exactly.
Yeah, right.
The category of the top ten list this evening, ladies and gentlemen, top ten
New Year's resolutions from me.
These are now my top ten New Year's resolutions.
I think we all make resolutions for the New Year.
I do.
Top ten New Year's resolutions.
Yours.
Your personal ones.
Yeah, here we go.
Number ten, pepper my conversation with the word thickalicious.
Number nine, more tea parties for neighborhood dogs.
Yes, yes, oh, yes.
Number eight, from now on wear pants every day.
Number seven, get me one of those Elton John page boy haircuts.
Yeah.
Number six, write more angry letters to the candy company and see if they'll
send me another free box of almond joys.
Number five, apologize to the pool boy for the business with the BB gun.
Number four, see a real urologist.
Number three, stop wasting time on those jumble puzzles.
They're impossible.
Number two, learn to polka so I don't just sit around at wedding receptions.
And my number one New Year's resolution, nail Dinah Shore.
There you go.
Let's see, is he still up there?
Ladies and gentlemen, Walter Cronkite is in the audience tonight.
How about a nice walk with the Walter Cronkite.
Walter Cronkite.
I love it.
I love it.
I could do this all night.
Well, like I haven't already.
Oh, are we a little late?
Oh, well, forgive me.
Like I'm not going to introduce Walter Cronkite?
Well.
Believe me, I'd rather have Walter mad at me than you mad at me, okay?
Paul, you want to tell folks about your big holiday special?
I would love to.
I'd like to plug a little thing.
Ladies and gentlemen, Paul Schaefer has got a great idea for a holiday special.
It'll be right here on NBC.
It's going to be on this New Year's Eve.
New Year's Eve.
This very New Year's Eve.
Let's run the promo for it.
I did it.
Sure.
Okay, Hal, do me a favor.
Run Paul Schaefer's promo for his holiday special right here on NBC.
This New Year's Eve, there's only one place to be, and that's partying down
with Paul Schaefer
for Paul Schaefer's Squatting New Year's Eve.
Come on, and assume the position as we squat our way into 1993.
This is really unprofitable.
Well, of course it is.
We're squatting.
Join Paul and his special friends, Kenny the Squatting Clown, Budweiser's Larry
Bud Millman,
Crayon, please, please.
TV show host, David Letterman.
Yeah, great, but I'm not going to squat.
Don't worry, folks.
We'll get him to squat before the night is through.
Yeah, well, yeah, I'm not going to do it.
I don't care what you say.
I won't squat, okay?
Even if it were the turn of the century, I wouldn't be squatting, okay?
And hosting the festivities live from Palm Springs, California,
Cincinnati Reds Hall of Famer, Johnny Bench.
I haven't had this much fun squatting since the Big Red Machine won back-to-back
World Championship.
Yes!
Five, four, three, two, one.
Happy New Year!
Paul Schaefer's Squatting New Year's Eve, coming December 31st,
right here on NBC.
Remember, friends don't let friends squat drunk.
Be there!
I'll be looking forward to that, Paul.
Looks like a winner to you.
You don't understand.
If we didn't use that tonight, we could never use it.
We're going to pause here.
We're going to do a commercial.
And then when we come back, fun with Tom Arnold, folks.
So we'll see you later.
We'll be right back.