Name: Dave Has A New Joke | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2025-01-15T16:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Has A New Joke | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Has A New Joke | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-15. Transcript available.

Hi, I'm Barbara Gaines, Mary Barkley, there in the back.
Wait, I was on my phone. I didn't know you started. Sorry.
It's all right, we started.
Mary Barkley on the phone, didn't know we started.
And Paul Schaefer, Pete Letterman.
Howdy.
So, everyone.
How's it going?
How are your holidays?
I had a great holiday. How about you?
Yeah, I can't even remember that we had holidays.
Yeah, that's right. Paul, you?
Had a wonderful time. My family got together on the West Coast.
And on Christmas Day, we went to the movies and saw a complete unknown.
The Bob Dylan movie.
What did you think?
First day it came out.
What did you think?
I absolutely loved it.
I'm dying to see it. I want to see it.
I thought I was going to see it, and then it didn't work out that I could see
it,
and now I really want to see it.
Yeah.
I think that, you know, if you don't know who he is,
this is a great way to find out who he is.
Now, let's just say that you are among people of a certain generation
who perhaps don't know, or if you do know, you don't care.
Would this make you care and want to know more?
I would say so, yeah.
Yeah.
He's an enigmatic character.
Right.
Timothy Chalamet plays.
And Timothy did a great job, right?
A terrific job singing and playing guitar and harmonica.
And we know Timothy Chalamet,
I'm your father, Luke.
He was that kid.
What?
I don't know about that.
No.
Was he?
I don't know.
Maybe that was, was that Macaulay Culkin?
Yes.
I don't even think it was, it wasn't even him.
Well, what about music?
You get a lot of music?
Yes.
And you know, it was nice.
First of all, he actually did his own singing,
as did the woman who played Joan Baez.
But they stayed with the numbers.
We saw, we'd see a whole song that they performed.
Because there was dramatic value and it advanced the plot,
just the singing and stuff.
But the expense to get that clearance is taken care of
because it's all Bob saying, here, take the rights.
I would say so.
But didn't he sell his book off to somebody?
I think he sold all his publishing.
Yeah.
So that's an interesting point.
Yeah.
But he still would have retained his writer's royalty.
Yeah.
Would be a writer.
And did they sing the Joan Baez song,
Where Are You Calling From, A Booth in the Midwest?
That song?
Where Are You Calling From?
From A Booth in the Midwest.
What's the name of it?
Diamonds and Rust.
Oh.
Did they?
Oh, that's hers.
No, I don't, I don't know if they did Diamonds and Rust.
Oh, kill me.
That was her big hit.
Forget what I said, I ain't going to see it.
Yeah, it's a beautiful song of her.
Yeah, she wrote it about her relationship with Bob.
Oh.
Right.
So she was probably Diamonds, and he was Rust.
Something, yeah.
And he was calling somewhere, a booth in the Midwest.
He used to have phone booths.
That's, yeah.
Yeah.
And so he would be off in his world, still reaching out to her,
even though the emotional separation had been completed.
Why didn't they put that in the movie?
I don't know.
Nobody called me.
No, it wasn't.
I'm your father, Luke.
No, I didn't know.
That's a totally different, I think that was, yeah.
That was Star Wars.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
My holidays were great.
What did you do?
We were getting, we were going to call on you.
Oh, my God.
I was sick the whole time.
Oh, you were?
Yeah, you had that thing, right?
I was one of the, terrible cold.
Did you have the COVID?
No COVID, no COVID.
The wheezing and the drippy nose?
The wheezing, wheezing, snot, congestion, exhausted, just flat on my butt.
How do you feel now?
I feel much better, thanks.
Good, glad to hear.
That is good.
Yeah.
How are you doing, Paul?
Well, I'm perfect health.
Good.
Best shape of my life.
So, for years and years and years, I like motorsports.
Right.
Your father-in-law was an iconic motorsport writer.
Right.
Still writing.
Still alive.
Still alive and writing.
Oh, my God.
Ninety.
Mention the man's name.
Carl E. Ludwigson.
When I first came to motorsport, whenever there would be an interview, an in-depth
profile of
an F1 driver, in those days, the grand European racing series, and you would
interview a driver
who would have some accent of one origin or another, and you could just count
on, well,
what's it like driving a race car?
Driving a race car, this would be Emerson Fittipaldi.
This would be my Portuguese Emerson Fittipaldi, Brazilian accent.
Driving a race car is like making love to a beautiful woman.
And so, for years and years and years.
Very much every time.
Yeah.
I knew that was horseshit, and I knew it was the setup for a joke, so I've been
reworking
on this joke, and I came up with, yeah, it's making love to a beautiful woman
like driving
a race car, except that if you finish first, you don't get a trophy.
Oh.
Huh?
Is that all right?
Yeah, you can't do any better than that.
Yeah, okay, good.
I feel good.
We have no more calls.
No comments needed.
We have a winner.
Mickey Mouse slipped over at my wife's house.
Oh.
What are you saying?
I feel like you hit your head.
Are you all right, Barbara?
She slipped in the tub.
What did she say when she woke up?
What?
Say it.
He once slipped over.
I think Emerson Fittipaldi once slept over at my wife's house.
You come up from being unconscious.
That's the first thing you say, and everybody says, all right, call somebody.
9-1-1.
All right, let's hear this.
I think that once happened.
It didn't happen.
Oh, yeah, well, sure, Google it.
Where did Emerson Fittipaldi spend his nights?
It's like the, yeah, my Uncle Earl played canasta with Einstein.
What?
No, that didn't happen.
She just said it's got to be her dad, right?
Yeah.
Hi, I'm here at the Barbara Dane Show.
Hi, Ari.
And didn't Emerson Fittipaldi once sleep over at your house?
Yeah, he slept in my childhood bed.
What?
See?
He slept in her childhood bed.
You should go around bars making bets.
Yeah.
Things that you would think I wouldn't know or...
Well, this is one of those things in a million years, other dimensions, other
universes, other
countries, other possibilities, never happened.
All right.
Anyway, thanks for watching, if you even watched.
This, wait a minute, this was a show?
Wasn't it?
Geez.
I think it was.
Wow.
Pass is for sure.
I think this was the first time we had, oh, no, we had one other person online.
Free form.
Oh, no, we tried to call the sign winner lady.
Yeah.
Yes.
And we talked to the sign winner lady.
No, I don't think we...
No, we left a message.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, left a message.
You freestyled this.
That was breathtaking.
You freestyled your show.
Someone once asked me if we rehearse, and I thought, does it look like we rehearse?
You're looking at the rehearse.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Subscribe and do other things.
Like and subscribe.
And we'll...
Touch the cat, is that what you said?
You said, touch the cat and squeeze the monkey.
Touch the cat and squeeze the monkey.