Name: Dave's Suit Of Alka-Seltzer | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2025-04-17T15:00:53.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave's Suit Of Alka-Seltzer | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-04-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave's Suit Of Alka-Seltzer | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-04-17. Transcript available.

uh let me tell you what else we're doing tonight we've got a jumbo tank of
water back there perhaps
you can see it and later in the program maybe now uh our staff has constructed
a suit covered with
alka-seltzer tablets now 3 400 little tablets stuck to this this suit and and
we thought it
would be fun just to dump a guy in there and kind of a cheap way to convert
your tub into a jacuzzi
we thought and uh so we were testing it out earlier today and our head writer
steve o'donnell
was in the suit and he went it went into the tank and it worked great and uh
but what you don't
realize the uh carbon dioxide is a carbon dioxide carbon dioxide coming off the
tablets somehow
overwhelms or eats up or destroys or taints or ruins the oxygen so you can't
breathe well
steve is in the tank and everybody's going all right and pretty soon he he goes
uh you know
um so they hauled him out and he's okay you know he's just fine but but the
problem is now
to to do it for you tonight and we haven't decided by the way if we're going to
do it tonight
it was this guy's fault so you have to have uh uh oxygen breathing apparatus
that's what you have to
have so uh we may do it we may not do it what do you think paul is this
something we want to
i think we should do it and by we we really just mean you that's right that's
right
but uh when we thought of the idea it seemed like a a lot of fun and it turns
out it is fun
right up until the time it kills you so um now i know a lot of you are going to
do it at home uh
you get a 900 gallon tank of water and 4 000 alka seltzers and you're in
business but if you do make
sure you know the fire company is there helping you out later in this uh
program bob costas from nbc
sports will be here oh and uh we may do this just to keep you in the frame of
mind we still may be
going to do that for you a little bit later now uh monday on this program
actress and uh fine
comedian lily tomlin will be here saxophonist clarets clemens will be joining
us and uh author
edward zuckerman the man who's written a book called the day after world war
three so all of that will be on
monday okay well uh we're gonna go ahead and try it ladies and gentlemen
because thank you sir you've
been such a wonderful audience and uh we have uh 3 400 alka-seltzer tablets on
this fine piece of
clothing it weighs how much does this weigh by the way 70 pounds it's beginning
to sound like the rose
parade isn't it 70 pounds and each one of these buds is living uh okay now why
do i need the shoes
exactly i'll tell you later oh okay it's apparently a reason i need shoes while
i'm in the well of course
you don't want to get your feet wet now don't be pessimistic all right we'll
get the shoes on
yes are we ready to do that uh we'll be back to continue this lord knows
okay and i know we have the oxygen here and i have been asked about 12 times by
various members of the
staff to remind you don't try this at home i know you have the 900 gallon tank
i know you have the oxygen
i know you have the suit of oxa seltzer and a staff of 100 people oh
right
and of course you have the hoist but please don't try this at home how much
time do we have
boy if i die this this is the worst possible way to go isn't it okay i put it
on and do what
okay is breathing do you release my feet or release your feet
what the hell release your feet how much time
okay here we go thank you very much if this doesn't work out paul i'd like you
to take over
the mask the mask isn't tight enough is that a problem all right no let's go
thank you very much thank you thank you
so
so
you