Name: Alec Baldwin Tries To Parallel Park | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2025-05-27T15:19:26.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Alec Baldwin Tries To Parallel Park | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Alec Baldwin Tries To Parallel Park | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-27. Transcript available.

Ladies and gentlemen, do me a favor, turn on the camera out there on 53rd
Street, let me tell you what we're doing tonight.
You see these folks here, these are members of the Late Show intern class of
the fall of 2007.
Hi, kids.
Hi.
Can you hear me?
Yeah, we sure can.
All right, let's tell the folks who we are.
Who are we talking about?
Let's start with the striped shirt there, ma'am.
Hi.
I'm Carrie.
Carrie, nice to see you.
Nice to see you.
Well, I can't see you.
She can't really see you.
Yeah, the gentleman in the middle there, sir.
Hi, my name's George.
George, nice to see you.
And ma'am?
I'm Stephanie.
I'm sorry?
Stephanie.
Stephanie?
Well, good to have you here.
This is some of the interns, and tonight, ladies and gentlemen, what they're
going to be doing for us all night long on 53rd Street.
They will be attempting to parallel park.
There you go.
Bop, bop.
Are you kids pretty good drivers?
No.
Fine.
Are you pretty much all licensed drivers?
Yeah.
Where are you from?
The tri-state area around the country?
Where are you from?
I'm from St. Louis.
St. Louis?
Massachusetts.
Massachusetts.
Nebraska.
Nebraska.
Well, here we go.
It'll be kind of like a regional park-off.
It is.
It's a park-off.
It's a park-off.
That's right.
All right.
We'll get back to you, kids.
Somebody hop in the car and get ready to go.
There'll be parallel parking tonight out there on 53rd Street, ladies and
gentlemen.
They have, as you know, some luxury cars have that option that will actually
parallel park
the car for you.
Have you seen that?
Have you ever tried that?
No.
It scares me because you just sit back and the thing...
Can't believe it.
And then an hour later, you get out of the car and...
You're right.
You're right.
By the way, this is the only thing on CBS right now.
What's the matter with that meathead?
Blooper reel.
Blooper reel.
Blooper reel.
And I don't want to bum you folks out.
I don't want to bring you down.
But during rehearsal, we had the kids out there.
And I'm not going to mention any names.
But there was a little mishap.
And one of the kids killed a stagehand.
Yeah!
But he's okay.
That's right.
Did I say killed?
No, he's fine.
Yeah, he's okay.
All right, let's go back out to 53rd Street and see how the kids are doing.
Is somebody in the car now?
Yeah.
Who's in the car?
Who is that?
Stephanie.
Hi, Stephanie.
How are you doing?
Good.
You feel confident?
You ready to go?
Sure.
Have you ever parallel parked in your life?
Maybe twice.
Uh-huh, maybe twice.
Normally, you put it in at an angle.
Is that how you park?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Are you a little scared?
Are you trepidatious?
Are you worried?
Are you concerned?
I'm a little nervous.
Are you getting a little clammy?
A little sweaty?
Having trouble breathing?
Hey, hey, have you got your seatbelt on?
Oh.
All right, we'll get right back to you, Stephanie.
Get ready.
Okay.
Let's go back out there to the street.
You can see these people lined up.
They've been out there all night waiting to get a glimpse of the parallel
parking action
here in New York City.
And by the way, this is the reason the traffic has been tied up since dawn.
We've had to shut down the street, and there is no crosstown traffic.
You have to go down to Canal Street if you want to go east or west, because we've
pretty
much got to shut down to the Bronx.
All right, Stephanie, is that you there in the car?
Yes.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is Stephanie Hearn.
She's from Nebraska.
What town in Nebraska?
Omaha.
Omaha.
Is that near the Sandhills?
I don't think so.
Have you ever been to the Sandhills?
No.
I understand they're beautiful.
Is that what you understand?
I'm sure they are, yeah.
How about that Omaha Steaks?
You ever drop by there?
Yes, they're very good.
Tasty, aren't they?
Yes.
Yeah.
What do you do for us here at the Late Show?
I work in the research department.
Okay.
Are you ready to go?
Yes.
All right.
Parallel parking.
Here we go.
How long have you been driving, Stephanie?
A few years.
A few years.
Okay, fine.
All right.
Normal challenge.
Anybody who drives in traffic any day may have to parallel park.
You just don't know where.
You don't know when.
Some days it's the only option.
Parking garage or closed?
Looks good.
So far looks good, Stephanie.
Looks good.
All right.
Now cut it.
Cut it.
Cut it.
Cut it.
Cut it.
Cut it.
Cut it.
Cut it.
Cut it.
All right.
Straighten it out.
Straighten it out.
Straighten it out.
Perfect.
Thank you very much.
Nice job, Stephanie.
Congratulations.
All right.
Keep going.
And by the way, this may look a little tight, but this is a typical New York
City parking spot.
That's right.
This is a primo spot.
This would be a book.
People would kill to get this spot.
Okay.
Okay.
We're rubbing a little paint now, Stephanie.
And okay.
Now just even her up.
You're very close.
We'll get somebody to help you to the sidewalk.
And all right.
One more time.
Just crank it around there.
Crank it.
Crank it.
Crank it.
Crank it.
Now gun it.
Gun it.
Gun it.
All right.
Okay.
I think you're done, Stephanie.
Congratulations.
Stephanie Hearn, ladies and gentlemen.
Beautiful.
Thank you.
Wow.
It's pretty good.
She got like half of it.
Pretty good.
All we need now is another four feet.
But I'm telling you, in a strange car, and she's from Nebraska, for heaven's sakes.
Yeah.
There's just wide open spaces.
Yeah, certainly.
Exactly right.
All right.
Let's go back out.
We have time for one more parallel parking exhibition.
Go on outside if we can.
Hey, is that you, George?
That's right.
Anagnostakis, is that your last name?
Pretty close to it.
All right.
You pronounce it for me, sir.
Anagnostakos.
Anagnostakos.
Good to have you here.
You're from Massachusetts.
That's correct.
You're a writer's intern.
I am.
A licensed driver.
I hope so.
How long have you been driving?
Four years.
Do a lot of parallel parking?
Never.
Who taught you to drive?
My dad.
And does he parallel park?
No.
Oh.
So, inexperience runs in the family.
George, anything you need from us before you go?
Are you locked in?
Lock the door.
It looks like your button is up.
Put your button on.
Okay.
That's good.
Now, I feel better.
I know your folks do as well.
Okay, George.
Take it away anytime.
It's all yours, my friend.
What kind of car is that, George?
Do you have any idea?
I have no idea.
Impala.
An Impala?
Yes.
That's a sweet ride.
All right.
And that's just about what Stephanie did.
I think you got to be a little closer to the car in front, but who am I to say?
I'm sitting behind a desk.
Okay, that looks good.
Now, cut it, cut it, cut it, cut it, cut it.
Boy, this baby corner is like a snake in a rat hole, doesn't she?
Cut it, cut it, cut it, cut it, cut it.
Okay.
Not bad.
Not bad.
All right, George.
Just get out and let the police tow it.
Oh, wait a minute.
Suddenly, we've got some promise.
All right.
Making the space a little larger.
Doing a little house cleaning for the next Parker.
Oh, this could be good, George.
I mean, seriously.
Let's say, for example, you need to be at the theater at 8 o'clock.
You start parallel parking around 5, you're going to be there, my friend.
Easy.
Now, back it up.
Square it off.
Back it up.
Square it off.
Back it up.
Square it off.
All right.
Just one more.
A little bit of a crank.
A little bit of a crank.
Here we go.
Oh, there you go.
How about that?
That's awesome.
Nice going, George.
Thank you very much.
Congratulations.
Not a bad job, George.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Get out of the car.
Put your hands on the roof.
Let's do some more parallel parking.
Grab your name, please.
My name is Alec Baldwin.
I'm from Massapequa, Long Island.
Oh, good, Alec.
Nice to see you.
You're a licensed driver?
I believe I am.
How long have you been driving?
Oh, several years.
Yes.
You do a lot of parallel parking?
Here in New York, no, I do not.
This is the first time I've parallel parked since 1987.
Okay.
All right.
Well, we'll factor that into your handicap.
30 Rock, the second season, begins tomorrow evening.
A special guest, Jerry Seinfeld.
Is that the one we're talking about?
Indeed, yes.
All right.
Anytime you're ready, Alec, take it away.
Thanks, Dave.
Hold it in.
Alec, between this to Mars.
Oh.
What did he say?
Wait a minute.
It's like that speedboat thing.
All right.
Here we go.
He's getting right to this.
There's a man with some confidence.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, very good.
Very good, Alec.
You're almost there, my friend.
Take two.
Yeah.
You're all right.
Okay.
I like the confidence.
You can just see the confidence in what the man's doing here now.
That's it.
That's a beauty.
That's a keeper.
That's all right.
You can use the sidewalk.
Perfect.
All right.
Okay.
So close.
This is the shoehorn job.
All right.
There he goes.
Take three.
I have a good feeling about this attempt.
There he is.
Yes, sir.
If you can't parallel park, then perpendicular park.
Park.
I have a good feeling about it.
I have a good feeling about it.
I have a good feeling about it.
I have a good feeling about it.
I have a good feeling about it.
I have a good feeling about it.
I have a good feeling about it.
I have a good feeling about it.
I have a good feeling about it.
I have a good feeling about it.
I have a good feeling about it.
I have a good feeling about it.
I have a good feeling about it.
I have a good feeling about it.
I have a good feeling about it.
I have a good feeling about it.