Name: George Clooney Handcuffs Himself To Dave | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2025-06-05T15:01:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'George Clooney Handcuffs Himself To Dave | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'George Clooney Handcuffs Himself To Dave | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-05. Transcript available.

so nice to see you george it's so nice to see you many wonderful things have
happened in your life
since the last time we saw you yeah uh um uh yeah a lot of wonderful things
have happened what are
you doing i'm talking about your uh lovely no i understand i don't care i don't
want to talk about
that you don't want to you don't talk about your wife let me see go like lucy
risk let me see that
just for a second here wait a minute what is no no okay oh wait a minute wait a
minute no no no no
no you're not going anywhere david letterman i need to talk to my lawyer that's
right
you have the right to remain silent you're not going anywhere david letterman
now george is this
something left over from the bachelor days no uh i don't know i don't want to
do this get me out
well you're gonna have to go out there and find the key you're not going
anywhere yeah and well
neither are you well that's true i thought that i hadn't thought it through it
could make for an
awkward evening yeah or maybe not who knows yeah who knows really here's the
thing and this is what
bothers me okay so for many many years as you know i was not a i was not a
married man you know i was uh
i was a single guy i was out i was out gallivanting enjoying life sure yeah i
spent my time out at
night in the evenings during the week even right so i would tape your show in
the old days or dvr
well thank you you know i'd come home and i'd watch it late at night or early
in the morning and i'd catch
up with you i'm a married man nowadays right i'm home good i'm home with my
wife i turn on the tv and
now i hear you're not going to be there that's that's right i'm not going to
that's not okay oh
well i'm sorry i'm i'm so sorry george no no no i've been watching i've been
watching the show and
all these people coming on the show talking about how uh how sad it is and how
what a wonderful person
you are and all that you're not very flattering this is a terrible thing you're
doing well i i appreciate
that all of us well no but that's very kind of it hurts yeah well speaking of
that what about the
circulation in my right hand what are we going to do what are we going to do
about that i hadn't put
cuffs on a man before except for clearly paul who's been cuffed it was late i
didn't think you were
going to mention that the hamburglar the hamburglar now um it's impossible to
have a conversation about
anything being handcuffed but it's not so easy i'm curious to know about your
uh wife tell me about
she's a human rights uh lawyer she is yes what does that entail well um there
are people in the world
whose uh rights have been uh have been taken away right here ladies and
gentlemen you're looking at
one right here this is a human rights violation if ever there was not going
anywhere you're not going
anywhere yeah you think that's funny but those keys are gone i don't think it's
funny you're stuck i thought
it was funny for about the first 20 seconds oh it's not funny is it oh and then
you heaved the key out
and i threw it out there uh where did you kids do you mind if i call you kids
sure you call us kids
yeah now uh we met uh we actually we met in lake coma she was a friend of a
friend who came to visit
and then i uh i chased her for you know many months calling and writing and
those kind of things i'm
fascinated by your wife yes because um i here's something uh i i would like to
know a lot about
uh human rights and people who are working to to make them automatic well it's
a very difficult thing
as you know and it takes uh it it takes diligence and it will never completely
succeed obviously but
it's you know what i heard a guy on the radio the other day say that uh
everything that's right
in the world didn't happen automatically i think that's probably it had to be
fought for
and that's that's what your wife is doing that's true
free david letterman
free him now compare a day in your life uh with a day in your wife's life
thanks for that thank you for
that um well you know we have very similar as you can imagine days she will go
for instance to egypt let's
say where uh a journalist is being held and uh she will then argue for his
release at the risk of going
to egypt and ticking off the egyptians which you certainly don't want to do
while in egypt a fine
line to walk yes you don't want to do that any circumstance and uh and i handcuffed
myself to a guy who's
just leaving town
it's not very similar really all right now here's what we're going to do we're
going to go down to
the props department and find a hacksaw and then we'll be right back with george
clooney
welcome back to another installment of judge judy oh thank you do you uh where
do you call home now i
know you've lived for a long time uh in italy well in the lake country and and
in california and where
are you well i've i've bought uh uh my wife and i have bought a place and a
little island on the thames
outside of london oh my god it sounds even as delightful as your place on lake
como it's a
beautiful spot and we it's a beautiful little hamlet a little town and uh we
share the island with
uh a dinner theater oh yes really a place where they serve uh dinner and then
also a play so i actually
have a retirement plan you see dinner theater yes you can come if you like why
didn't i think of dinner
theater oh no you and i we could do 12 angry men the two of us how big is now
the thames i've seen
the thames it's not it's not it is about the same width as the hudson in places
yes it's so how big
is the island it's not a very big island it's a it is an island but it's very
small how do you get out
there yeah well you cross a bridge there's a bridge to the island there is a
bridge to the island so it's
a foot bridge to the island no there's a you can you can drive to drive out
there and then you and the
house was built in 1680. wow that's old and a little community there a little
town a little
beautiful village there's a pub called the bowl that i go to that's fantastic
oh boy now here's
what i never understood the pubs all shut down right around 10 30 11 don't they
in england um i
haven't experienced that really maybe this is just something that they did to
you baby yeah
that's right i was i was shut down uh that'll be enough mr mr letterman thank
you so so uh like
after a dinner you and your wife might stroll to the the pub you stroll the
interesting thing is you
have to from my home walk through a graveyard to get there which is fine going
there it's not as
it's a little different coming back through a graveyard after you've been imbibing
you know at the pub
you know graveyard in the middle of the night you're not going anywhere you're
not going you're not
leaving you have beautiful eyes thank you can i uh
you just say this by the way because the truth is that we uh you know what you
have meant to all of us
all of us as fans oh no no no no yes and i'm going to tell you why i'm going to
say it here's the thing
i've watched you dave i've been at home i've watched you in my underwear there's
not many
men i've watched in my underwear i've watched you in my underwear i can make
you talk not talk here's
the thing what you've meant to us all of us with so many of the laughs and
everything else but also the
the moments like walking us through times that we didn't know what to do like 9
11 and where we
weren't sure when we could laugh again and all of that you may be going off the
air but uh you belong
to us for the ages my friends very sweet thank you jorge thank you
is that it that's it you just took a picture of the audience this is when uh
when the wrong age of
people take selfies it's these pictures of other people look at it it's george
and his grandfather
now tell me about the uh uh i i so uh wished i had been a part of the wedding
because i i knew uh
i knew it was going to be the right kind of uh event oh it was a good wedding
you know the thing was
that when we uh um there we go when we uh when we were passing out the
invitation did you go to the
bathroom before you came out here i did good and i washed and washed because i
know how you are
it's starting to hurt isn't it it really is i just liked it you know the more
you move the tighter
it gets it's like well i just tighten it up yeah good for me you better be uh
it's a souvenir for
those people tell me about you and uh uh our friend bill murray what what
people know this guy as a
wonderful uh film uh actor comedian uh great personality charismatic but as a
as a human being
you just don't get much better that's the truth as a guy than bill murray he
gave a toast at my
wedding it was very funny he is you know he's one of those guys you you get a
call and he'll say i'm
here and you go where and he'll be at your house and then just and stick around
and we have you know
sometimes we'll just sit and watch television not to really speak used to watch
you and that's over
and comfortable bill is comfortable in any circumstance really yeah i just did
a paul and i
just did a uh bill murray christmas special that's what i understand and uh i
sit on a piano bench with
paul and pretend to sing which they don't let me and uh i rode in a sleigh with
miley cyrus being pulled
by the rockettes whoa yeah that's fantastic it's kind of it's almost as nice as
being handcuffed yeah
and this will be where i don't know is it a movie is it what is it paul well i
think it's going to be
seen on netflix isn't that next christmas that's what my understanding is it is
yeah because i just
showed up you know he showed up and sat on my piano man and shook a thing i
thought he was playing
percussion he was actually mixing a martini i don't know i have certain skills
yeah
my musical talents end right at the shaker is your uh your wife's not here now
because i know she's
teaching at columbia she was teaching in columbia she's finished and now she's
in london uh there's
she's got a couple of cases that she's uh right in the middle of she's like 11
cases going right now
wow a lot of cases does she work for a a world government agency does she work
she's independent
barristers are independently you know so she would be hired case to case
basically wow so she's amazing
she's got some she represents julian assange in his extra extradition uh uh and
she works with
so she has some pretty amazing now julian assange uh the the wiki leaks guy
yeah is he still in the
ecuadorian embassy or wherever he's he's holed up in the ecuadorian embassy and
what will become of
him i don't know so he's now a property so to speak of ecuador i don't know
that ecuador actually owns
him right you know as a person but he is on their he's on their land
international extended boundary
of which is actually a very small little building yeah have you have you met i
have not no i haven't
the then did she talk to you about the cases we talk about the cases somewhat
you know because a
lot of this would be privileged conversations and you know also i don't think
uh she really wants to
tell me too much yeah i think she looks at me and thinks uh he's not going to
understand this
you know i'm just wasting my time here the words are too big and why they won't
understand oh god oh god
all right well yeah what are we gonna do now i don't know george um we're not
going anywhere no
you had your chance i'm married really i had my chance when was that kissing
julia roberts oh she's
lovely isn't she great um well normally i'd ask you if you'd like to stay
around but under these
circumstances you're staying around well you're yeah uh and when we and and by
the way thank you thank you
for all the nice things you've said and thank you for your friendship over the
years and your great
talent george clooney ladies and gentlemen we'll be right back to ouch i'm late
you