Name: Amy Sedaris Is The Coolest Godmother Ever | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2025-07-02T15:43:53.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Amy Sedaris Is The Coolest Godmother Ever | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Amy Sedaris Is The Coolest Godmother Ever | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-02. Transcript available.

Wow, hello.
Hello.
Hi.
Nice to be back.
All right, everybody.
That's, I mean, first of all, you look wonderful.
Thanks so much.
And second of all, why has it been nearly a year and a half since we've seen
you, for God's sake?
I know, it's been a long time, you know.
You know, I don't know.
You don't want to come and be on the show?
No, I'd love to.
I just happened to be in the neighborhood today, and I just buzzed.
You know, I was going to go see if that crane was still dangling, and I thought,
well, I should stop by and see Jane.
You came up to see if the crane was still dangling.
You know, it's not.
God, I love that.
Let's do a movie about that.
Honestly, what is going on here?
Well, my friend Mary Adams, she makes party and wedding dresses.
She hasn't made me a wedding dress yet, though.
Yoo-hoo!
Tonight's the night!
Pink, pink!
And I always like to look presentable.
But what is that, helium?
I mean, why does it keep...
What is going on there?
Can, can.
All right, now stop.
Really?
Okay.
Now, did you...
I know you're in the fabric business now, and I don't exactly know what the
fabric business is.
Yeah.
I am in the fabric business.
What does that mean?
Well, this company, actually, they saw me on the show.
I was wearing a fabric with president's faces on them.
I remember you had a dress on or something like that.
Yeah, and I called, and I, you know, I was trying to get more fabric, and they
saw the show,
and they wanted to know if I would like to design some fabric.
I said no.
And then my friend Todd Oldham, who designs, talked me into it.
Well-known contemporary designer, Todd Oldham.
Sure.
Yeah.
Yeah, very well-known.
And so I said, I said, I don't know anything about fabric.
And then he was like, well, you know what you like.
Sure.
And so, and anyway, it was really fun.
So I designed some fabric.
Well, let me in quilting stores.
Do you have quilting stores in Roosevelt Island?
Where do you live?
Connecticut?
I, yes, Roosevelt Island.
Sure, we have two or three.
Oh, yeah.
We have tri-state quilting.
Oh, yeah.
We have big apple quilting.
Big apple quilting.
Empire state quilting.
Okay, then you know what I'm talking about.
I do know what you're talking about.
But when you design a fabric, what, anything that comes to your mind, and then
they slap
it on the material, or what is it?
Right, I hired some designers to help, you know, I had visions.
And then, and they would set.
Are you not comfortable in this?
Because you seem to be doing a lot of this.
You know, Dave, I've seen you everywhere.
Oprah, how about that?
Yeah, how about that?
Ace Awards, ARP Awards.
Ace Awards.
You have a new publicist, Lena Dunham's publicist, right?
That's, that's right.
Good for you guys.
Thank you very much.
You've been everywhere.
Thank you.
I didn't know Harry was born 1158 at night.
You know, he was.
That's when your first guest is up.
Yeah, he, you know, is it the same time?
Yeah, 1158.
How about that?
He's the guest of your home.
Hmm, yeah.
Boy, I was, I was glued to the TV.
Thank you.
Now, tell us more about, uh.
Double-fisted.
Watching you on TV, I was, man, I was.
Memorized.
Are you a little, uh, are you a little, do you ever work under the influence?
Never.
No, I, you can laugh.
I know, absolutely not.
I'm professional.
That's what they said backstage.
Right.
Um, so listen, I have missed you.
It has been fun watching you on TV.
You look fantastic.
Well, thank you very much.
I know that's not true, but thank you.
No, it's true.
And my father's turning the same age you are, 90.
So I, I kinda, I kinda know what you're going through.
Easy, easy, easy.
Wow.
Yeah.
Well, you have a, uh, uh, you're a godmother now.
Yeah.
I think that's a lovely thing.
What, what does that mean to you?
Well, I'm in charge of his spiritual growth.
I take it very seriously.
I'm obsessed with him.
Who are the parents?
Um, my best friend, um, Paul Daniello and Danielle, uh, St. Laurent, they're
the parents.
But people think I'm the mother, especially when Danielle's not around.
They think I'm the mother.
So I can say things like, come on, baby, put it back, you know, mom.
And maybe next year we'll do Christmas.
I can say things like that out loud in this door.
Or talk about social services.
Or I just am crazy about, you know, jokes like that.
How old is the boy now?
He's 15 months.
15 months, that's right.
Yeah.
We have a lot of fun.
I brought some props to show you what, why he loves me.
Well, let's take a look at a picture of the, uh, fellow for here.
Now, I know it looks like he's struggling to get away from me, that he doesn't
like me.
But, oh, look, I'm surrounded by my fabric line.
And that's my bedroom, which you've seen.
I've not seen your bedroom.
That's the, uh, you haven't?
Oh, yeah, I remodeled it.
It looks like a haunted dollhouse now.
It does.
A haunted dollhouse.
Yeah.
But it, you know, it does look like the child is trying desperately to free
himself.
I think it's Photoshopped because...
You think it's Photoshopped?
Well, you were there.
Yeah, I know.
But I think things happen later.
Now, you have the little props to entertain the kid.
Yes.
First of all, he likes my long, this is operator voice.
So, I go, hello, young Harley there.
This is long, this is operator.
You think I'm a, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
Works every time.
Do you mind if I try that?
Oh, go ahead.
Hello, Dave, uh-huh, I can do the show.
Uh-huh, that's right.
I hear inside.
Oh, and then this is, um, he loves that.
Yeah.
And then this is, this works like a charm.
It's a chapstick, and he's like, oh, he's acting like I have a buck, too.
That works.
And then...
Mortimer Snurred.
My new sound machine, which I'm a...
Oh, it's a sound effects machine?
Yeah, so let's say, um, hey, our ratings are down.
Mm-hmm.
Or, hey, I had shingles in 68.
Whenever you had shingles.
Yeah, but is that appropriate for the kid?
Oh, he loves it.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
That's my favorite.
Yeah.
Anyway, I don't want to chew up time with this, but it's just my...
Now, you have, uh, what are these items back here?
Oh, is this the fabric?
Oh, I think you're going to scratch my back.
Yes.
Why didn't we get to the fabric right away?
Listen, I can make you a necktie with some dollar signs, you and Rihanna.
Now, you designed this?
Yes.
Okay, colorful dollar signs.
Dollar signs.
This is my favorite.
A hee-haw patchwork.
So this is like for...
This looks like quilt.
Yeah, that's my favorite.
Yeah, I don't...
And then I did an I Like You, just to please, you know, people.
Oh, I like you.
That's very...
I mean, you are quite creative.
Well, there's lots of fabrics.
Quite artistic.
Yeah.
There's a lot.
I make curtains.
Is it pricey?
No.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
There's got to be a sound effect for that.
Let's see.
No.
And then this lady made these Barbie doll clothes out.
I wish my hair was like hers, but they look nice, right?
Oh, Paul, look at this.
Paul, you'd wear a suit like this.
I would totally wear that.
That is.
I designed that suit.
Oh, yeah.
I'd like to see you with that.
Yeah, it's perfect for you.
It's probably your size.
No, listen.
I didn't see myself in.
No, I didn't mean...
I know.
I didn't even mean that.
I didn't even mean that.
No.
I'm taking up their jokes.
Are you excited about Elvis Tribute Artist Week?
I think it's...
What a great idea.
Did you come up with that one?
Were you an Elvis fan?
Did you enjoy Elvis?
I enjoy Elvis.
He's all right.
I like it when Kurt Russell played him.
I want him back now more than ever.
Dead?
Still dead?
No, no.
I want him...
What?
No, I want him, you know, Las Vegas Elvis.
That's what I want.
We really need that now.
The pill popping Elvis.
I know we do.
We don't have anyone like him right now.
I don't think we do.
Well, the guy coming up after me, he's kind of like him.
No?
Yeah, no, he is...
He's going to get your tie.
Well, I bought it in Baltimore after the Ravens won the Super Bowl.
The lovely...
Is that it?
Yes, that's it.
Why?
Here, let's do this a little more.
I know.
I'm not even nervous.
Get that thing going.
Oh, it goes so fast.
It's Amy Sedaris, ladies and gentlemen.
We'll be right back with tonight's Elvis Tribute Artist, Justin Sandor.
It's going to be so nice.