Name: How Many Guys In Alien Suits Can Fit In A Coffee Shop? | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2025-07-03T15:01:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'How Many Guys In Alien Suits Can Fit In A Coffee Shop? | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'How Many Guys In Alien Suits Can Fit In A Coffee Shop? | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-03. Transcript available.

anyway martians alien martians come down from space into mel gibson's yard and
they bother him
by carving crop circles into his into his lawn yeah and and it's the number one
hit movie in
in the country and because as a result of that we've that makes no sense at all
well we yeah go
ahead huh we go ahead yeah what we thought we would do is because of that movie
we thought we
would see how many guys dressed as aliens we can get into a new york city
coffee shop all right you
see yeah that's exactly what we thought we'd do
now the coffee shop is right across the street from us it's 1700 broadway
between 53rd and 54th street
turn on the camera let's take a look how many guys in alien suits can fit into
a coffee shop
keep booing keep booing little girl i'll hit a man i'll hit a man with glasses
oh you shouldn't
heckle an eminem what's his problem shouldn't heckle an eminem oh he said he
should chill that's what he
should do um all right so just one by one we're going to send uh people dressed
as aliens uh into
the uh ferrara's coffee shop and see how long uh before they call the police i
guess is what we're
looks like a nice place and they have uh outdoor uh seating for four
uh and you can go in there you ever had the coffee in ferrara's paul no i haven't
actually
yeah seems like a nice place yeah it looks nice okay all right so we're going
to see how many aliens we
can get in there because the mel gibson movie signs and that's as remote a
connection to anything
i've ever been involved in in my entire life but it's as good as we could do
today all right send
in the first alien guy this would be a guy dressed as an alien have him just
stand there in the window
that's ridiculous it's like a schreiner
now can we can we have the next two aliens sit at that table the outdoor table
just put a couple
out outside okay put yeah have them just sit there that'll be good now we're
getting somewhere
now do you think these women are bothered by the fact that they're sitting next
to martians one of
them is one of them is covering her face yeah maybe she's not supposed to be
here nobody else
seems to be okay so that's three so far all right send in a couple more send in
two more make it an
even five okay we're just joining us we're seeing a lot of aliens see the
problem is they should
actually be ordering coffee because well nobody's waiting on them yeah that's
right okay so the number
is five all right send in uh three more make it eight send in three more
okay
these by the way these alien costumes are based on sketches and information we've
obtained from staff
members who have actually been abducted by oh really and lived to tell the tale
lived yes they've been
abducted and examined and returned to their place of work and this is what they
had to tell us about
how the aliens dressed and appeared well these these two women just couldn't
care less about the alien
sitting right there this doesn't bother them at all all right how many we got
in eight all right
uh two more that'll be ten nobody seems to be doing anything now the costumes
are getting a little a little
strange bring your own alien suit okay now what happened here that's ten
nothing's happened
now we've run out of alien costumes uh so we have a guy dressed like a dog send
him
okay
okay now also we have two guys dressed like monkeys now can we have them can we
have them take the place
of the two aliens at the table send the two aliens inside and they just excuse
themselves and go in
and we'll put the monkeys there all right you can get up yeah you've been
replaced okay now let's see if
it doesn't bother anybody does it okay 13 let's see what else can we send in uh
let's see all right
ronald mcdonald that's it that's it we've had it we don't have to put up with
this crap we're going
home this place has really gone downhill i don't mind the aliens and the
monkeys but when they start
serving clowns then that's okay whatever send two more things in there to take
those seats so we got
all all four seats out front send in whatever i don't pick your take your pick
and send two more of
anything that was a cowboy okay that's good
okay well so far the count is 16. now let's see if we can get more folks more
aliens this is and we're
we're doing this as you know because of the hit movie signs right it makes no
sense whatsoever all
right what do we have left all right so we have cats in and the two cats from
the longest running
broadway show cats and i think they're finally closed there you go
is anything oh this guy oh yeah must be a private party i can't go in
nobody seems to be troubled by this nobody cares all right we got a football
player and a doctor
and i think part of the problem is they're just standing there maybe if they mingled
or something
there's just no there's just no animation in this group they just you know it
could be part of the
window dressing what should we do about that what should we do about that well
i would i would say mingle
that would be yeah well they need a should be a band over there a band yeah
just some atmosphere and
nobody's taking their order all right uh a dinosaur and a bear send them in
and i'll be my guest if you want to use some of these costumes for your tribute
thank you i could
use we'll be happy to send them up to thunder bay for you could you do that
ship them up there all
all right in the meantime since nothing's going on there here's tonight's top
10 list everybody
and i don't want to pull in some stunt like wait till i drop dead oh i know
name at dave letterman
driver because i'd like to go down there and drive around yeah waving at people
hey it's me you see
i mean if you can't have fun for god's sakes what's the point yeah what's the
point
the category tonight top 10 things who overheard at the letterman family
barbecue oh my god what a
nightmare this was uh top 10 things overheard at the big letterman family labor
day cookout barbecue here
we go number 10 how do you get labor day off you only work one hour a day
number nine so are you still
doing the big ten list number eight well it's no worse than his last hair piece
number seven
i wonder if we're going to be on cops again this year number six i'm more of a
leno man myself
number five what kind of idiot needs cue cards at a family barbecue number four
it's awfully smoky maybe
we should move the grill outside number three who brought the erotic pastries
number two i wish
we were related to oprah and the number one thing overheard at the letterman
family barbecue i have no son
there you go
all right let's just finish this up send in the uh the clown and the fat spider-man
send them in and
then then we'll be done with this and put this ugliness behind us the count's
at 22 by the way
the clown and the fat spider-man and then we're done for the night
we must be the only people in town written costumes today