Name: Rosie O'Donnell Is Stalking Barbra Streisand | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2025-07-16T15:00:13.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rosie O'Donnell Is Stalking Barbra Streisand | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rosie O'Donnell Is Stalking Barbra Streisand | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-16. Transcript available.

Good to have you here.
Beautiful song choice.
You look nice, and we haven't seen you in a while.
Congratulations on the-- well, on everything--
on the success of "The View."
I mean, you came in there.
And that show was always crazy anyway.
And people getting upset, people getting fired,
people walking off, people turning over desks.
And Barbara Walters finally said, well, that's it.
We can't continue this way.
We need stability.
We need a voice of reason.
We need some direction.
They call you, they come in, and the thing
takes off like a rocket.
Nice going.
Well, thank you very much.
Are you enjoying it?
I am enjoying it.
And it was nice to be asked by her to do it.
And it's been very thrilling.
Although I didn't think I'd be back in daytime, there I am.
And it's fun.
And it's a little different now, because although it
seems like it's your show, strictly speaking,
it's not your show.
No, no.
So what is the difference in having your own, like,
"The Rosie O'Donnell Show," and now being a part of "The View?"
Well, "The Rosie O'Donnell Show," there'd
be a Broadway production number at least three times a week.
Number one.
And number two, we wouldn't have to do segments
like the one we're doing tomorrow.
Which is?
"10 Things You Don't Know About Your Penis."
Whoa.
Whoa, when is that going to be on?
Tomorrow?
11 o'clock?
I mean, what time?
11?
11:00 AM.
11:00 AM.
ABC.
Check.
Will you check my TiVo?
Yeah.
It's fascinating stuff.
Well, now, are there 10 things you don't know?
I mean--
There's about 10 million things I don't know about the penis,
but apparently there are 10 things you owners of them
don't know either.
Oh, my goodness.
I kind of asked nicely the first week,
because you don't want to step on any toes.
I went and looked at the booking board,
and I was like, wow, great, great.
Oh, that's so funny.
How do you put the 10 things about the penis on?
I go, no, that's a real booking.
Yeah.
I was like, wow, OK.
So then I waited, and now it's week seven.
And then after I left today, I said, by the way,
I hope to avoid the penis segment tomorrow.
But I don't mean to beat this to death.
I know it's a bad choice of words.
But what-- honest to God, what do they think--
I mean, what are they doing with that?
What will happen?
They'll have Joy, and Elizabeth, and probably Barbara,
and a man who's written a book.
And he'll tell all of the male viewers in daytime--
there's thousands--
about all the problems with the male genitalia.
And I'm sure the ratings will spike, you know, crazily.
And it'll be the resurrection of daytime, as we know it.
Well, I mean, Barbara, my god, when it comes to penis,
she wrote the book.
Am I right about that?
Well, you know, that's what they say.
She's still quite a looker, you know?
I love Barbara.
Yeah, so do I.
She's fantastic.
Did you get along with her all right?
Very well, yes.
Did she approach you personally by joining the show?
She did.
What was that like?
Because I still kind of am in awe of her.
I am too, actually.
Yeah, she's always been very kind to me.
And we were at the screening of my documentary
about our family cruise vacation.
And she came out of the theater, and she was crying.
And she came over to me, and she gave me a hug.
And she's not really a hugger.
I'm a big hugger.
I like to hug and do the bear hug.
She gave me sort of the Barbara hug with tears and said, you know,
"Wosey, would you ever consider being on the program?"
And that voice that I've listened to for, what, 50 years?
I don't know.
She's just spectacular.
And she kicked down the door that every woman in television
walked through easily.
And I was honored to be asked by her.
I said to her, "For you, I would do anything."
And that's the truth.
She is the template.
When you see people, not just women in journalism
and in broadcasting, they've all been influenced by Barbara Walters.
She did it at a time when women were told it was impossible.
You know, she started as a weather girl.
It's almost similar to you.
I want to point out, I was not a weather girl.
Oh, OK.
Well, yeah, she started as a weather person.
And she worked her way up.
But you know, when you consider that she's interviewed every head of state,
you know, across the world.
And to have dinner with her is a fascinating thing.
And she is open to sharing all of these experiences.
And she can recall them with unbelievable details.
It's kind of--
And the longevity of a career.
And you know, there are no real down moments of the career.
It's all been up and up and up and up and continuing to do great work.
Now, Paul was playing, I think, a Barbra Streisand song.
Yes.
And I know you have a friendship.
Is it a friendship with Barbra Streisand?
Well, it's more of sort of a fan stalker worship thing.
You know, we don't hang out.
Right.
I don't like feel a lump and call her, "Barbra, I think it's something."
You know, it's not like that.
But I have this kind of worship thing, you know.
As a little girl, my mom loved her.
And my mom, you know, had all her records.
And so we grew up in our house listening to "Secondhand Rose" and "Funny Girl"
and as a mainstay, as a staple.
And when my mom died, when I was 10, my dad sort of took all the things of hers
out of the house, except for the Streisand records because he didn't really
know that we did this in the day while he was at work.
So it's sort of the way that my family, I think my siblings and I, remain
connected to my mother.
And it's very, you know, for me, she's, I'm 20 years younger than she is, and I
have been purely and totally influenced by her my entire career, you know.
Now, I keep reading, she was at a concert down the street at Madison Square
Garden, and I keep reading that she's doing things that are provoking hecklers.
Do you know anything about that?
Well, yeah.
See, she's played to 180,000 people, and there have been three incidents.
The first one was by far the best.
It was at Madison Square Garden, and I was there, and this was the third
concert I had seen because, of course, I went to opening night in Philly.
And I came back, and it was a fantastic night because Oprah was there with Gayle.
So I was in row two, but I had a perfect view of Oprah watching Barbara.
That's a double whammy, do you know what I'm saying?
This is a big night.
Yeah, that's a two-scoop sundae right there for me, you know.
So Barbara does this show, and she, it's never been in better voice, honestly.
It's fantastic, and she does a skit with this Bush impersonator that Bush has
enjoyed, the guy pokes fun at him.
And there was some guy who wasn't sort of, I can kind of do it for you if you'd
like it.
Please do.
Well, it went something like, you know, "Are the luckiest people in the world."
I just want to thank you all, and please remember that compassion and
understanding...
"Shut the f*** up!"
"Shut."
"Compassion and understanding."
Yeah.
The funniest part to me, I was sitting with a friend who is a bigwig in the
Republican Party,
and she leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Honey, that was a plant."
And I thought, "What a conspiracy theorist she is! You're crazy!"
Only to find out the next day, he was a paid heckler.
Oh, is that right?
He was, in fact.
Well, there you go.
There you go.
But she's doing phenomenal, and I'm actually, I've been given the privilege of
making a documentary,
of following her around on this, her final tour.
Is that right?
It's called "Stalking Streisand."
Uh-huh.
And I started it before I had the approval.
It was me and a video camera on the way to Philadelphia, stopping and talking
to fans,
and I met two people outside the theater, mother and son, and I said, "Where
are your seats?"
They said, "The back row."
I said, "Not tonight, honey. You're in the front with me."
And they came into the front, and they were crying, and I was crying, and she
was singing "People,"
and I thought, "I'm probably gonna get in a car accident and die on the way
home."
Because, like, life was so perfect at that moment.
And then, one, in New York, she looked at me on the stage, on the stage, she's
singing,
she's like, "You know, it's so great to... Hi, Rosie, how are you? Come
backstage."
Oh, my.
I, like, grabbed my friend's knees.
She said my name from the stage!
And then the miracle of miracles happened.
I don't know if you've heard, but Thursday night, there is apparently
construction happening
at the hotel she was scheduled to stay at for her Miami, Florida appearances.
I got a call from her assistant to my assistant.
Did we know of anyone who had a house in the Miami area?
I have a movie star mansion there, Dave.
There you go.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
And I said, "Please, Lord, yes."
And we had to warn her that I have a 20-foot by 10-foot poster of Funny Girl
from Israel,
hanging on, which I scarily do, on my stairs.
And so she came to the house, and she's staying there, and I wasn't allowed to
tell anyone until she left,
and now she's gone safely, and she's...
Did you have all your stuff inventoried?
I did, actually.
Good.
You can't be too careful.
Well...
Show people, you know what...
I've heard that.
Yeah, exactly right.
I was at my first cupcake party this morning, not this morning, this afternoon.
And were you...
How many children do you have?
Four kids.
So you probably have cupcake parties all the time, aren't you?
Yes, we've had many.
This was your first.
My first, yeah.
You were a virgin cupcake party guy.
I must say, I was just a little disappointed.
Were you?
Yeah, just a little.
I didn't know what to expect, but it was not this.
Cupcake parties increase in relevance and fun as the children age up.
All right, I'll take your word for that.
At the three-year-old, it's kind of just mayhem and mess, and let's get out of
here, honey.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, nobody explained it to me like that.
Well, call me.
I'm always available.
All right.
Tell me about your, you're married.
Yeah.
And how did the in-laws, your in-laws and her in-laws, how did they take the
relationship
in the first and then the marriage ultimately?
Well, the relationship at first was difficult for them.
Kelly's from a very sort of Southern Christian kind of real religious home.
And she told me when we met, there was no way that her parents would ever
accept, you
know, us being a couple because they had a hard time with her being gay.
And in college, they actually sent her to Homosexuals Anonymous, where they
teach her to pray the
gay away.
Woo!
And, um...
Pray the gay away.
Yeah.
So, uh, it didn't work for her, but still, you know.
Does it work?
Does it work for anybody?
I don't think it does, but that's okay, you know.
Peace out, everybody.
Any way you like it.
Yeah.
And, um, so we met the mom, and she said to me, I met the mom and dad, and she
said,
whatever you do, don't tell them that we're a couple, you know.
So Kelly was in New York, and I happened to be in Baton Rouge, where they're
from, Louisiana.
And, um, we sat down at the table, and I said, listen, I know you're not real
excited about
the gay thing, but Kel and I are in love, and we plan to stay together forever,
and if
we could, we would get married, and we just want you to be part of the family
and to know
this.
The mother looked right at me and said, you know, the Caesar salad at this
restaurant
is fantastic.
Well, yeah, I mean, that's something you could say.
You could say that.
Yeah.
She went from there to, um, I said, I think I just told you I was in love with
your daughter,
and you change the subject, you know, and she said, I really think that caterpillars
don't like vegetables.
Whoa.
Tangents.
Tangents.
But, um, she got a little better over the years, then after, like, the second
year, she
said, you know, I think you two should find some nice boys, get married, and
buy houses
next to each other, and then go on vacation.
Well, again, yeah.
That's a thought.
That's a thought.
You could do that.
You could do that.
But they have truly come a long way, and now we can't get rid of them.
Oh, that's nice.
Yeah, it's 10 years later.
It's good to have them part of the family.
It shouldn't be that way.
Well, it's great for our kids to have grandparents, and they're very participatory
grandparents,
and it's a wonderful thing.
And explain to me what you're doing or what you did recently in Louisiana.
Is that right?
It was Louisiana?
Yes.
Yeah, what is that?
After Katrina, I wanted to have, like, a SWAT team for national emergencies
because I don't
really do well mentally when things sort of are totally out of control, and I
tend
to, like, you know, take on the NRA or throw away millions of dollars and make
sure everybody
-- and, you know, so I said, well, here's the deal.
All of the people in the largest trailer park in Louisiana, Renaissance Village,
I said,
those are our people.
Let's try to fix that one camp and save those people and see what we can do.
And there are a lot of federal regulations about trailer parks that you're only
allowed
to have things that are movable, and they don't want the people there
necessarily to stay,
so only basic sustenance is given to them.
So through the work of a lot of people, including Republican lobbyists, we set
up a prototype
of a village that could enable people to believe again, to have hope, and to
get back on their
feet.
That's great.
Good for you.
I came very close to giving everybody at the Michigan Game Saturday a nickel.
I heard.
I heard.
You know, you got to go in slow, Dave.
You don't just start giving things away crazy like that, you know.
Before you know it, it's going to be quarters, and then you're going to be out
of business.
Yeah, that's right.
I started with t-shirts, just so you know.
It's great to see you again.
It's been a very long time since you were here, and I'm happy to have you back,
and congratulations
on everything.
Thank you, and I'm proud of your marriage and your baby and the whole thing.
Thank you very much.
All right, way to go.
Rosie O'Donnell, ladies and gentlemen.
.

Rosie O'Donnell Is Stalking Barbra Streisand | David Letterman

Good to have you here.
Beautiful song choice.
You look nice, and we haven't seen you in a while.
Congratulations on the-- well, on everything--
on the success of "The View."
I mean, you came in there.
And that show was always crazy anyway.
And people getting upset, people getting fired,
people walking off, people turning over desks.
And Barbara Walters finally said, well, that's it.
We can't continue this way.
We need stability.
We need a voice of reason.
We need some direction.
They call you, they come in, and the thing
takes off like a rocket.
Nice going.
Well, thank you very much.
Are you enjoying it?
I am enjoying it.
And it was nice to be asked by her to do it.
And it's been very thrilling.
Although I didn't think I'd be back in daytime, there I am.
And it's fun.
And it's a little different now, because although it
seems like it's your show, strictly speaking,
it's not your show.
No, no.
So what is the difference in having your own, like,
"The Rosie O'Donnell Show," and now being a part of "The View?"
Well, "The Rosie O'Donnell Show," there'd
be a Broadway production number at least three times a week.
Number one.
And number two, we wouldn't have to do segments
like the one we're doing tomorrow.
Which is?
"10 Things You Don't Know About Your Penis."
Whoa.
Whoa, when is that going to be on?
Tomorrow?
11 o'clock?
I mean, what time?
11?
11:00 AM.
11:00 AM.
ABC.
Check.
Will you check my TiVo?
Yeah.
It's fascinating stuff.
Well, now, are there 10 things you don't know?
I mean--
There's about 10 million things I don't know about the penis,
but apparently there are 10 things you owners of them
don't know either.
Oh, my goodness.
I kind of asked nicely the first week,
because you don't want to step on any toes.
I went and looked at the booking board,
and I was like, wow, great, great.
Oh, that's so funny.
How do you put the 10 things about the penis on?
I go, no, that's a real booking.
Yeah.
I was like, wow, OK.
So then I waited, and now it's week seven.
And then after I left today, I said, by the way,
I hope to avoid the penis segment tomorrow.
But I don't mean to beat this to death.
I know it's a bad choice of words.
But what-- honest to God, what do they think--
I mean, what are they doing with that?
What will happen?
They'll have Joy, and Elizabeth, and probably Barbara,
and a man who's written a book.
And he'll tell all of the male viewers in daytime--
there's thousands--
about all the problems with the male genitalia.
And I'm sure the ratings will spike, you know, crazily.
And it'll be the resurrection of daytime, as we know it.
Well, I mean, Barbara, my god, when it comes to penis,
she wrote the book.
Am I right about that?
Well, you know, that's what they say.
She's still quite a looker, you know?
I love Barbara.
Yeah, so do I.
She's fantastic.
Did you get along with her all right?
Very well, yes.
Did she approach you personally by joining the show?
She did.
What was that like?
Because I still kind of am in awe of her.
I am too, actually.
Yeah, she's always been very kind to me.
And we were at the screening of my documentary
about our family cruise vacation.
And she came out of the theater, and she was crying.
And she came over to me, and she gave me a hug.
And she's not really a hugger.
I'm a big hugger.
I like to hug and do the bear hug.
She gave me sort of the Barbara hug with tears and said, you know,
"Wosey, would you ever consider being on the program?"
And that voice that I've listened to for, what, 50 years?
I don't know.
She's just spectacular.
And she kicked down the door that every woman in television
walked through easily.
And I was honored to be asked by her.
I said to her, "For you, I would do anything."
And that's the truth.
She is the template.
When you see people, not just women in journalism
and in broadcasting, they've all been influenced by Barbara Walters.
She did it at a time when women were told it was impossible.
You know, she started as a weather girl.
It's almost similar to you.
I want to point out, I was not a weather girl.
Oh, OK.
Well, yeah, she started as a weather person.
And she worked her way up.
But you know, when you consider that she's interviewed every head of state,
you know, across the world.
And to have dinner with her is a fascinating thing.
And she is open to sharing all of these experiences.
And she can recall them with unbelievable details.
It's kind of--
And the longevity of a career.
And you know, there are no real down moments of the career.
It's all been up and up and up and up and continuing to do great work.
Now, Paul was playing, I think, a Barbra Streisand song.
Yes.
And I know you have a friendship.
Is it a friendship with Barbra Streisand?
Well, it's more of sort of a fan stalker worship thing.
You know, we don't hang out.
Right.
I don't like feel a lump and call her, "Barbra, I think it's something."
You know, it's not like that.
But I have this kind of worship thing, you know.
As a little girl, my mom loved her.
And my mom, you know, had all her records.
And so we grew up in our house listening to "Secondhand Rose" and "Funny Girl"
and as a mainstay, as a staple.
And when my mom died, when I was 10, my dad sort of took all the things of hers
out of the house, except for the Streisand records because he didn't really
know that we did this in the day while he was at work.
So it's sort of the way that my family, I think my siblings and I, remain
connected to my mother.
And it's very, you know, for me, she's, I'm 20 years younger than she is, and I
have been purely and totally influenced by her my entire career, you know.
Now, I keep reading, she was at a concert down the street at Madison Square
Garden, and I keep reading that she's doing things that are provoking hecklers.
Do you know anything about that?
Well, yeah.
See, she's played to 180,000 people, and there have been three incidents.
The first one was by far the best.
It was at Madison Square Garden, and I was there, and this was the third
concert I had seen because, of course, I went to opening night in Philly.
And I came back, and it was a fantastic night because Oprah was there with Gayle.
So I was in row two, but I had a perfect view of Oprah watching Barbara.
That's a double whammy, do you know what I'm saying?
This is a big night.
Yeah, that's a two-scoop sundae right there for me, you know.
So Barbara does this show, and she, it's never been in better voice, honestly.
It's fantastic, and she does a skit with this Bush impersonator that Bush has
enjoyed, the guy pokes fun at him.
And there was some guy who wasn't sort of, I can kind of do it for you if you'd
like it.
Please do.
Well, it went something like, you know, "Are the luckiest people in the world."
I just want to thank you all, and please remember that compassion and
understanding...
"Shut the f*** up!"
"Shut."
"Compassion and understanding."
Yeah.
The funniest part to me, I was sitting with a friend who is a bigwig in the
Republican Party,
and she leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Honey, that was a plant."
And I thought, "What a conspiracy theorist she is! You're crazy!"
Only to find out the next day, he was a paid heckler.
Oh, is that right?
He was, in fact.
Well, there you go.
There you go.
But she's doing phenomenal, and I'm actually, I've been given the privilege of
making a documentary,
of following her around on this, her final tour.
Is that right?
It's called "Stalking Streisand."
Uh-huh.
And I started it before I had the approval.
It was me and a video camera on the way to Philadelphia, stopping and talking
to fans,
and I met two people outside the theater, mother and son, and I said, "Where
are your seats?"
They said, "The back row."
I said, "Not tonight, honey. You're in the front with me."
And they came into the front, and they were crying, and I was crying, and she
was singing "People,"
and I thought, "I'm probably gonna get in a car accident and die on the way
home."
Because, like, life was so perfect at that moment.
And then, one, in New York, she looked at me on the stage, on the stage, she's
singing,
she's like, "You know, it's so great to... Hi, Rosie, how are you? Come
backstage."
Oh, my.
I, like, grabbed my friend's knees.
She said my name from the stage!
And then the miracle of miracles happened.
I don't know if you've heard, but Thursday night, there is apparently
construction happening
at the hotel she was scheduled to stay at for her Miami, Florida appearances.
I got a call from her assistant to my assistant.
Did we know of anyone who had a house in the Miami area?
I have a movie star mansion there, Dave.
There you go.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
And I said, "Please, Lord, yes."
And we had to warn her that I have a 20-foot by 10-foot poster of Funny Girl
from Israel,
hanging on, which I scarily do, on my stairs.
And so she came to the house, and she's staying there, and I wasn't allowed to
tell anyone until she left,
and now she's gone safely, and she's...
Did you have all your stuff inventoried?
I did, actually.
Good.
You can't be too careful.
Well...
Show people, you know what...
I've heard that.
Yeah, exactly right.
I was at my first cupcake party this morning, not this morning, this afternoon.
And were you...
How many children do you have?
Four kids.
So you probably have cupcake parties all the time, aren't you?
Yes, we've had many.
This was your first.
My first, yeah.
You were a virgin cupcake party guy.
I must say, I was just a little disappointed.
Were you?
Yeah, just a little.
I didn't know what to expect, but it was not this.
Cupcake parties increase in relevance and fun as the children age up.
All right, I'll take your word for that.
At the three-year-old, it's kind of just mayhem and mess, and let's get out of
here, honey.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, nobody explained it to me like that.
Well, call me.
I'm always available.
All right.
Tell me about your, you're married.
Yeah.
And how did the in-laws, your in-laws and her in-laws, how did they take the
relationship
in the first and then the marriage ultimately?
Well, the relationship at first was difficult for them.
Kelly's from a very sort of Southern Christian kind of real religious home.
And she told me when we met, there was no way that her parents would ever
accept, you
know, us being a couple because they had a hard time with her being gay.
And in college, they actually sent her to Homosexuals Anonymous, where they
teach her to pray the
gay away.
Woo!
And, um...
Pray the gay away.
Yeah.
So, uh, it didn't work for her, but still, you know.
Does it work?
Does it work for anybody?
I don't think it does, but that's okay, you know.
Peace out, everybody.
Any way you like it.
Yeah.
And, um, so we met the mom, and she said to me, I met the mom and dad, and she
said,
whatever you do, don't tell them that we're a couple, you know.
So Kelly was in New York, and I happened to be in Baton Rouge, where they're
from, Louisiana.
And, um, we sat down at the table, and I said, listen, I know you're not real
excited about
the gay thing, but Kel and I are in love, and we plan to stay together forever,
and if
we could, we would get married, and we just want you to be part of the family
and to know
this.
The mother looked right at me and said, you know, the Caesar salad at this
restaurant
is fantastic.
Well, yeah, I mean, that's something you could say.
You could say that.
Yeah.
She went from there to, um, I said, I think I just told you I was in love with
your daughter,
and you change the subject, you know, and she said, I really think that caterpillars
don't like vegetables.
Whoa.
Tangents.
Tangents.
But, um, she got a little better over the years, then after, like, the second
year, she
said, you know, I think you two should find some nice boys, get married, and
buy houses
next to each other, and then go on vacation.
Well, again, yeah.
That's a thought.
That's a thought.
You could do that.
You could do that.
But they have truly come a long way, and now we can't get rid of them.
Oh, that's nice.
Yeah, it's 10 years later.
It's good to have 