Name: Jimmy Kimmel On The Art of Late-Night Lying | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2025-07-23T15:00:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jimmy Kimmel On The Art of Late-Night Lying | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jimmy Kimmel On The Art of Late-Night Lying | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-23. Transcript available.

welcome back thank you thank you good to see you it's good to see you too boy
congratulations five
years uh on the air it's not easy is it a lot of people think it's easy oh you
only work an hour a
day or so but it's not easy no it's terrible yeah have you really have you
learned anything about
being a tv show not really uh well one thing i will you know i was here right
before the show
started and i really feel like you um you led me astray by not telling me how
much lying i would
be doing oh for instance you lie you lie you tell the guests you like their
movies you lie you tell
them you like their television shows you lie you act like you like them and it's
i really had no idea
that it was that i would become one of the biggest phonies in the world i mean
really every night i'm
out there the other night def leppard was on the show and they're doing one of
their new songs which
you know we're all excited about and and uh they and i found myself during the
song like you know
doing this kind of you know just in case they looked over and uh and this is
like oh you know
i didn't even like their old songs to be honest pour some sugar on me and let's
get this thing over
i understand uh but you know uh i like you so i don't want you to have any
misconception about that
you know what that's really nice of you saying it means a lot to me but i can't
totally believe it
because like i remember the first time you came on the show you and you said
the very funny jimmy
i was like oh my god dave thinks i'm not just funny but very funny exactly
right and i was so excited
but now in retrospect i realize you probably don't think i'm funny at all
very funny like being a master magician exactly yeah and thank you for by the
way
here's what i remember about you you uh uh grew up did you is that right in las
vegas
i did you vacation that you lived there i lived there yeah no i grew up i
really and truly people
think i went i grew up las vegas i went to sammy davis jr jr high right i um
i uh
i i i am excited to be here on magician week and in fact i have a trick if you'd
like to see it it's
it's not a great trick but it's a pretty
all right what do we need here i need a quarter do you have a quarter i sure
don't have a quarter
no all right i'll use mine then all right so now now where are you going to you
want to put it
it's called the french drop it's all done with my hands and uh it's close-up
magic all right and
you'll see here all right whoa wow and then normally i take it out of your ear
but i won't do that to
you well wow that was spectacular thank you very much yeah
what if we have that in
this is what i did instead of dating when i was a kid here's the one i can do
oh you got one i think
it's a version of the french drop and i and my son by the way loves this oh
yeah kids and you you get
the quarter to pass through the table you know that one no i don't know oh you
know that one no i
don't i my dad didn't do magic tricks for me how can you have grown up in las
vegas and not know this
trick it's got wow wow that's pretty good
it is under the table excuse me
thank you yeah thank you
in las vegas is like it's like the pool filter for magicians in the world they
all wind up in las
vegas and i loved you know when i was a kid i went i used to go to believe it
or not i used to go to
the gym and um when i go to the gym this place camelot was the name is a camelot
was the name of
the gym yeah it was like nine dollars a month it was in the middle of just the
suburbs and siegfried
of siegfried and roy is he is he the one that was or was not um he's the one
that was not was not yet
right it's yeah it still could happen yeah but it was roy yeah yeah siegfried
would come in and he'd
do like four sit-ups and then he'd go sit in the jacuzzi in the shower area
sure and i would think oh wow
this guy's in good shape how does he why would he just come do four sit-ups and
then go sit in the
jacuzzi area while everyone is showering and then a couple of years later i
figured it out
i think i figured it out put the pieces of the puzzle together uh but did did
you see other tricks
anybody else well yeah lance burton of course is one of the greats but they
have now in vegas and
every place everything is extreme extreme magic and there's a magician i think
you're going to have
him on this week does extreme magic and to me what could be more extreme than
that tiger eating roy's
head off in front of right 3 000 horrified people there's no you can't you can't
call anything extreme
after that my favorite part of of that brutal attack was um it was learning siegfried
and roy's last names
because the newspaper they can't just go with siegfried and roy they fishbacher
and horn
have been doing their show but now wait a minute why couldn't it have just been
fishbacher and horn
that's not the new york times does it it's mr fishbacher and mr horn right but
in terms of naming
the act i don't fishbacher and horn you'll have to ask them see i'm buying
tickets to fishbacher and
siegfried and roy i don't know if i'm buying tickets to that yeah no but you
could probably get them for
free if you ever go see siegfried and roy by the way don't sit in the front
because my dad took us
once and we did go for free because my dad never pays for anything but we went
and we sat in the
back luckily and siegfried and siegfried and roy did their act and an elephant
began urinating forcefully
on the stage dousing dozens of asian businessmen whoa wow that's not good that's
not no yeah that's not
where you want to be no uh and what what brings you to new york city i know you
don't get much time
off when you're doing a nightly show so why i have to go back and go to is that
right and go to work but
i did come here you know to see you but also i'm here to promote iron man oh
iron man what a film
that is yeah yes so now i saw the movie and i don't recall uh you are you in it
oh no i'm not in it
but i really liked it i really would like people who don't see it i have
nothing to do with it that's
very generous of you jimmy it's great though um tell me about your uh you have
more than one
daughter how many i have a daughter and a son they're both teenagers oh my gosh
now what is that
that's um well you know people say oh that's got to be difficult but really
they're good kids it's
i don't really i don't to be honest pay much attention to them but they from
the pictures they
look very happy and they're in high school now you do see pictures of them i
took my daughter to
and i know this sounds like a like a fake talk show anecdote one of the you
know many lies that
we spread right um this is true last weekend my daughter is going to art school
hopefully art
college and she has to put together a portfolio so i went to a life drawing
class with her now
uh this is where someone comes in a robe and then they'll take off their
clothing and stand there nude
which is an interesting position to be in with your teenage daughter now did
did she invite you or did
you invite yourself i may have invited myself i see yeah and um she was
uncomfortable i was
uncomfortable but my way of dealing with my kids is to make them more
uncomfortable than i am
and the models are rude by the way because after you know this woman she was
actually an attractive
woman i tried to give her a 20 bill at the end furious furious absolutely
furious my son is 14 and
sometimes he'll come to the show and on the way home we'll drive home together
and uh i said to him
kind of seriously this is usually a time we spend together where i yell at him
about his homework but
um i diverted from that for a moment and i said um kevin have you um ever felt
a woman's breast and
he became very embarrassed and started laughing and he goes no and i go well
you're gonna like it a lot
he's that kind of kid yeah i can just tell you haven't had that with harry yet
yes we have had
that conversation yes we've had that conversation yeah but now is that uh i
mean is that uh and i
don't want to tell you how to raise your kids but is that no please do is that
how is that how you go
about it i mean i don't know really my mother's weird you know my mom did very
weird things she would
terrorize us as children like she would my mom would lay there and pretend to
be dead
sometimes and my sister and i it was one of those things like mom come on get
up and then we'd start
like you know like banging her and trying to get her up but she wouldn't wake
up she just lay there
as if she was dead until we cried and then she then she woke up wow is that not
normal your mom didn't do
that i'm i'm gonna have to see you again next week jimmy because wow and and
that's her idea of a joke
is that what that is i think she thought it was funny yeah i hope she thought
it was funny otherwise
i really don't know what was going on there wow wow that's remarkable yeah
anything you want to mention
about the show now that you're in well into your starting your sixth year i
guess well yeah i guess we are
yeah um just that um um i don't just if people watch it know that i don't mean
most of what i say
oh man really just take it with that grain of salt on your tongue well i i
appreciate you uh finding
some time to come out here and i'm serious about this it's not well thank you i
you know because i know
you got to go fly right back listen i'll any time you want i mean honestly you
know who was here uh
a few months ago with sarah silverman that's right oh yeah very nice woman we've
been doing it for a
long time now should she mention that uh you know that didn't come up she had
nothing she's back stage
if you need another guest all right well tell her i said hello thank you jimmy
always a pleasure
jimmy kimball ladies and gentlemen