Name: Dave On Stephen Colbert And CBS | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2025-07-25T21:54:25.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave On Stephen Colbert And CBS | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave On Stephen Colbert And CBS | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-25. Transcript available.

hi i'm barbara gaines it's the big barbara gaines summer zoom show summer zoom
show i love that and
i'm in sag harbor where are you guys all at i'm in uh in pennsylvania and i'm
hot and sweaty and
i think i have allergies yeah i'm uh in a verbo vacation rental by owner in indiana
looks gorgeous
it is nice it's very nice here today everyone's been having a good summer i've
been having a
delightful summer and uh i can only suggest i know you've heard about muncie
and you've read about
muncie and you've seen it on color tv oh my god you ought to get out here yeah
well by the heartland
who would not want to be there yeah chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp yeah did you
guys hear about the
steven colbert thing oh yeah that's a shocker it's a bummer and you know that's
our franchise that's
yeah it's also it's all very strange it's all it's very uh complicated but it
was a bit of a surprise
wasn't it yeah yeah it's found for um uh culture and tv and i like the rest of
you i'm sure grew
up on those late night shows you know so it's uh it's sad that they can't
figure out how to make that
work i'll tell you what i absolutely know about this and then i'll tell you
what i think about this and
and we'll see if there's a corridor of overlap uh do you have time for this by
the way barbara who are
your other guests oh i don't have any other guests i have plenty of time oh um
i'm right here you
forgot oh yeah i thought you were a co-host okay so let me know when you think
i've talked too much
all right uh because i've been alone here in muncie for quite a while it was
about 10 years ago uh we
all used to do that show that stephen colbert now does and uh 10 years ago i
quit and left and then
stephen colbert comes along and pretty quickly established himself as a precise
crisp witty political
satirist and often his target has been the current administration and based on
that and just the
overall entertainment quota of the show drew a great audience and people became
uh not addicted to but
always looking forward to political satire from stephen colbert was very good
at it and uh for 10
years i think became the face uh of the network so okay that's that's what i
know of there here's also
what i know uh cbs and paramount and other things are for sale right yeah yeah
so that's a big deal
because it is cbs and paramount uh they also own uh uh lens crafters they uh
american dental oh they
own papaya king uh that's out of business i think it is the the soup nazi and
they also own flash dancers
wow yeah so that's diverse they're diversified that's they are diversifying it's
a big media
thing yeah so they're trying to sell it to uh uh the uh ellison uh what's the
guy's name uh frank ellison
well david ellison is the kid what's his father's name is the billionaire larry
ellison oh yeah larry
ellison oracle the ellison yeah the oracle twins uh they got some of dad's
money and they want to buy
uh this cbs paramount holding yeah so because they want to buy it they don't
they don't want any trouble
so uh now this is part of what i think so they call up cbs and they just
opinion this is just your
this is me just thinking i'm i'm pretty certain i'm dead on but i'm just
thinking
so they call up the goons at cbs and they say look uh we know that your big
powerhouse uh 60 minutes
uh decided they didn't care about freedom of the press so they paid off the
current administration
multiple millions of dollars just to let us continue to do business we're so
sorry here's
a couple of million dollars but we still want to be in business so the new guys
the ellison twins
they don't want to have to do that so they say to the cbs people geez you don't
and what about that
kid stephen colbert he's always shooting his mouth off about the administration
we don't want any trouble
from that guy so the cbs people say hey boys here's what i'm going to do not
only are we going to get
rid of that guy we're going to get rid of the entire franchise so you don't
have to worry about another
guy it's gone buddy we're we're gonna have the csi in your pants i don't know i'm
making some of this up
so um so they go to steven and they say oh here you've got you're gonna have to
quit now because
yeah it's not that trump stuff no no it's money we're losing so much money you
understand here's
what i know if they were losing this kind of money you're telling me losing
this kind of money happened
yesterday right but they were losing this kind of money a month ago i'll bet
they were losing this
kind of money six weeks ago or they have never been losing money they did not
do the correct thing they
did not handle stephen colbert the face of that network in the way he deserves
to have been handled
now that that's that's what i think so if you have questions let's talk it over
i have a question
well not questions comments i'm gonna ask the two of you because you were both
high level late show
first generation oh gee have i said enough um i feel like step one is always
like okay let's reel in
the budget let's see if we can't uh make sense of this tv show that's right if
this guy wants to be in
the tv business you think that would be like step we always budget many times
at all right that's right
well take a look at the cbs news it's still in business yeah and i'm not
certain that that's a profit
center uh uh yes there are the fact that they killed the franchise and and uh
told stephen to go home
now for stephen i love this he's a martyr good for him right this exactly and
if you listen carefully
you can hear them uh unfolding chairs at the hall of fame for his induction
right the tv hall of fame yeah
um so so i yeah so i think the idea that they're hiding behind money uh and
they've given him
another 10 months well that's another huge chunk of money they're going to lose
according to them
i don't think it was money i think it's something i think it was all to make
sure the ellison the oracle
twin boys uh were solid spending dad's money so no no don't you worry we got
this covered yeah he's not
going to be a problem i wouldn't worry about him and no no it's sad i think it's
sad but what this
indicates also is the the ellison twins the oracle boys uh they don't want any
trouble along along the
lines of freedom of the press or free speech or freedom of expression they don't
want to get their
hands dirty they don't want the government going after them because you know
that concept of freedom
of the press and freedom that's so old-fashioned he was number one in his in
his time slot and he had
just been nominated for an emmy and then they call and say guess what you're
done yeah you're finished
and no hard feelings but it's all about money yeah has nothing to do with the
ellison twins wanting
to make sure they don't get badgered by the government oh my god we just want
to say what the
president wants us to say as soon as this deal is done i'm shooting a tape to
the ellison boys
there's just one it's one guy are you sure i thought it was the ellis and the
oracle twins
tape for your show yeah just see if i think any openings over there all right
well they clearly
will happen as they always say and i never know what it means follow the money
and i have never
seen money to follow yeah and i look for a place to follow money yeah sure who
doesn't hey excuse me
sir you dropped a quarter is that what they always say is part of the problem
with everything is about
like bottom lines and corporate greed and uh yeah this is value but this is
pure cowardice i mean
you're telling me 60 minutes the pinnacle of journalistic excellence and
integrity for decades and many
of those decades the number one viewed show in america they've they've decided
oh we're sorry let
us give you 20 million dollars and we'll be more careful that was also shocking
yeah really well this is
i believe this is in the wake of that and the the oracle twins why don't they
just go buy a dairy queen
or something stay out of this business to be fair to the oracle twins i'm not
sure that any section of
you know old-fashioned broadcast tv is driving yeah they don't know there's no
fairness to these goons
you're telling me they don't know that these guys are bottom feeders exactly
what this is of course they
know the broadcast television is withering so now they want just want to make
sure on top of buying
something that doesn't have the same value as it had 30 years ago they don't
want to be hassled by
the united states government so they want cbs to take care of all of that mess
yeah yeah we'll get ready
him for you he wants the paramount part he wants to go to movie premieres and
stuff but he doesn't
want the tv part that's right he's gonna just like dump that over at um what
did you say at papaya
king that's gonna end up yeah he's gonna turn the theater into a papaya king
that's what'll happen
so there's a mining here now we're talking there's your license department papaya
king yeah yeah
hey you ought to try and get that uh that stephen colbert on your show well mary
said that's what i
said yeah yeah new host and let's get the ellison twins the oracle boys let's
get them on or maybe we
should just sell this whole thing to skydance oh yeah what is skydance honest
to christ is it
a discount airline is that what it is i think this at one day if not today the
people at cbs who have
manipulated and handled handled this they're going to be embarrassed because
this is this is gutless i
only wish this could happen to me this would have been so great for me yeah
this would have been
unbelievable and now we all gotta enjoy we gotta kiss stephen colbert's ring
now you do enjoy a good
fight with management that's always that would have been a very feisty end yeah
you know back in the day
fighting with network television management was number one in the playbook yeah
it was easy and
then why did you hear what he said last night about me being stupid and people
loved it yes that's
right it was it was an easy ploy did you guys get did you guys get lots of
calls from like the ge
folks saying like hey listen if dave could maybe stop making fun of the toasters
we would be happy you're
saying no yes we did i never did we got calls from ge saying don't make fun of
the three-way bulb
that but didn't didn't you know the the executives always aren't they always
mad they were always
mad but not for that no no not for that no they were always mad at me then i i
don't think i was well
liked but i i don't i don't think it got to the point where they had to say
well you know goodbye
because you've lost so much money uh no no no i just meant like because you
were always like making
fun of the uh you know like the network pinheads and weasels or whatever you
are right well i mean easy
easy easy targets because the people the people watching you at home those are
the people that you
know and love and so you want to be on their side they want to be on your side
but you you've put
together this vast army you have to have an enemy so the enemy would be the dopes
up in the the office
and the suites the suits yeah and stuff martinis yeah well we had a couple of
guys in the executive
lineup every day go to lunch within walking distance of 30 rock and they had to
take a cab home because
they would be on martinis i mean just houses hold my calls like that every
goddamn day those were the
days weren't they days now wait a minute let me just say one thing the reason
that i've been so goddamn
talkative here today is i've been away from humanity for too long and i've had
no one to talk to so
that's me sorry it's fine where have you been away from none of your business
oh anyway it was lovely to
see all of you nice to see the two of you as well and uh perhaps we'll reunite
one day down the road
yes we'll get together in the uh in the youtube studio yeah all right so so
long from muncie
all right so long from sag harbor yeah you know we don't want that kid mouthing
up hey don't worry
we'll take it like not only the kid the whole thing is gone