Name: Bob Odenkirk Is Full Of Dirty Words | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2025-08-14T15:01:23.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bob Odenkirk Is Full Of Dirty Words | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bob Odenkirk Is Full Of Dirty Words | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-14. Transcript available.

I'm doing great.
Happy holidays.
Nice to have you here.
Thank you for coming.
You're welcome.
I am so excited.
I can't tell you.
I mean, to be on this show, it's just a dream.
It's just a dream come true for an actor or a comic.
And to do it on your birthday, that's incredible.
Oh, happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
How old are you?
Thank you.
33.
33.
That's great.
And if that wasn't enough, today I brought my girlfriend with me to New York,
and we got
engaged today.
Oh, my.
So, thank you.
It's a big, big day.
Thank you.
Yes.
Thank you.
Yes.
It was...
I felt that it was about time because she was in labor.
Uh-huh.
And, uh...
You know what I mean?
Who could love a bastard?
No.
No one.
No one.
Nobody could.
Nobody could love a bastard.
But we are now the proud parents of a wonderful, bouncing baby boy.
Thank you.
Thank you.
And we're thinking...
Tell me if this is good.
We're thinking of naming him the great city of New York.
What do you think?
You like that?
Oh, jeez.
I went too far.
Bob, tell me about Mr. Show.
Mr. Show.
Well, it's a little show.
One person clapped.
I don't know why.
They're scared.
It's a little show.
We asked HBO if we could have...
They offered to give us a show or a go-kart.
And, uh...
So we picked the show.
You went with the show.
Yes.
It's myself and David Cross.
Very funny comic.
And a group of very talented people who donated their time to be in the cast.
The Little Friends of TV.
They're a wonderful organization out in Hollywood.
Is this a not-for-profit kind of group?
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
And, um...
We, uh...
We do a sketch show that's very...
It's kind of different.
It's got sketches that sort of run together.
Right.
And they flow together and...
Live?
Do you have a studio audience?
There's live part and then there's tape part and, you know, there's, uh,
recurring ideas
and themes and, uh, I show my butt in a number of shows.
So it's sort of different.
You can see that everywhere.
And that's good?
People are responding well to that?
You know what?
We have sort of a cult audience.
Let's put it that way.
It's a select, elite group.
Uh, it's one guy.
His name is, uh, John Beisler.
He lives in Iowa.
And he's a good guy.
He's a good guy.
He, he, uh, is a gun lover.
Uh-huh.
He washes his hands 235 times a day.
Ah, he's one of those kind of things.
Keep watching.
Keep washing, John.
Thank you.
Keep watching and keep washing.
Now, Bob, you're, uh, also a member of the, uh, cast of The Larry Sanders Show.
Yeah.
Now, that must be a great deal of fun for you.
It's the best, isn't it?
It's great.
All right.
The most applause.
More applause than when I said I had a baby today.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, do what you can.
Um, yes.
I'm on, I try to stay on cable.
Because, you know, on cable, you can say anything.
And, uh, in our show, uh, we actually say whatever we want.
We have the characters speak in street language.
And, uh, some people say to me, you know, Bob, you shouldn't use dirty words.
Shouldn't use the dirty words, yeah.
Right.
And I'll tell you something, Dave.
I have a different definition of dirty words, okay?
Here's what I think is a dirty word.
Hate.
Yeah.
All right?
Here's another one.
Yeah.
Uh, prejudice.
Uh-huh.
I think that's a dirty word.
All right?
Yeah.
Okay.
Here's, here's another one.
Tit mouse.
Okay?
Because it's got tit in it.
Yeah, we understand.
Yeah.
You see what I mean?
It's, I have a different definition of what is dirty.
So, um, I'm sorry.
So, uh, cable, and, you know, I, please, if you don't get cable, I, what, are
you still
renting porn?
What are you doing?
If you don't, if you don't get cable, please get it.
You know, if I can get 10 people to subscribe to cable tonight, my show gets to
go on a field
trip.
Wow.
So.
Operator.
Get on the phone now.
Dial it right up.
Now, uh, are you enjoying the holidays here in New York City?
I do.
I love to come here for the holidays.
Yeah, it's great.
Isn't it festive and beautiful?
Yeah, everyone's in the spirit.
It's really wonderful.
Uh, people, I think, sometimes forget the origin and the meaning of Christmas.
Uh, you know, if you remember, Christmas started as a video game.
And then it became a breakfast cereal.
And then, now it's a holiday.
Yeah.
But, um, I love the decorations everywhere.
And, uh, and people, you know, you see guys dressed.
It's a Santa Claus sometimes.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
And then you see some guys who are sort of, well, halfway there.
You know what I mean?
I mean, I was...
Halfway there in the sense they don't have the entire outfit?
Yeah, they don't have the whole outfit.
I was on Broadway and I walked by a strip club and there was a guy handing out
coupons wearing
a Santa hat.
Oh, yeah.
Sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I was on the subway.
The guy was playing the three-card Monty.
Mm-hmm.
He had a cruddy old Santa beard and a hat on.
And I imagine it's hard for parents to explain to their kids exactly who this
character is.
Yeah.
What, what is this?
Yeah.
Are you Santa hitting hard times?
Yeah.
No.
So I've devised a little character.
If you don't mind, I'd like to do it right here.
Sure.
Sure.
Okay.
I guess this is...
This is for parents...
Thank you.
This is for parents who want to explain to their kids who that guy is.
So I need the hat and I'll be right here, Bob.
Thanks.
Enjoy.
Merry Christmas, kids.
I'm not Santa Claus.
I'm Santa's cousin, Jake.
Sometimes Santa lends me one of his old hats.
But I'm not Santa.
I'm his cousin, Jake.
Well, you'll find Cousin Jake working all kinds of jobs.
I hand out coupons for girly shows.
Yeah.
And sometimes I sell old clothing and water-soaked magazines on the street.
And sometimes Santa's cousin, Jake, takes a little break and drinks wine
straight out of a bag.
When we was boys, Santa and I used to play together.
But then he went off and started delivering presents to good boys and girls.
And old Cousin Jake joined the Army.
The Army said they'd teach me how to use a computer.
But I got that darn carpal tunnel syndrome.
And then I got into an altercation with a lady in Bangkok that I don't want to
talk about right here.
Well, it all went downhill.
Murphy's Law, kids.
I'm just trying to put my life together.
Well, do me a favor.
Don't get too close to Cousin Jake.
My breath is awful.
And whatever you do, don't sit in Cousin Jake's lap.
You'll get Jake into a hill of trouble.
So, Merry Christmas!
So, Bob, the show on Friday nights on HBO.
Friday nights at midnight.
At midnight.
Good for you.
Congratulations on the success of the project.
Thank you for coming.
And happy holidays.
Nice to see you.
Thanks for having me.
Bob Odenkirk.