Name: The Best Of Dana Carvey | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2025-09-16T15:01:42.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Best Of Dana Carvey | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Best Of Dana Carvey | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-16. Transcript available.

The Best Of Dana Carvey | David Letterman

Wait a minute, is that Dana Carvey?
Ladies and gentlemen, how about a nice welcome for Dana Carvey right out there
in the audience.
Stand up, Dana, take a bow.
And a boy, Dana.
I'm telling you something, tonight's audience is star-packed.
Let's talk Perot, because he's my man.
Ross Perot, you know, yeah.
He's my man.
Yeah.
He calls me at home, Dave.
Is that right?
This is Ross Perot, how you doing?
Your audience is so good.
Very good audience, yeah.
Anyway, he, because now that he's calling me at home, I feel a little, you know,
weird talking about him in public.
Yeah.
We're friends.
Right.
NAFTA.
Bummer.
Yeah.
I think it, Ross, bummer.
You know, he lost it because of the debate with Gore, right?
You think so?
Because he was the grumpy old Ross Perot, wasn't he?
Yeah, I guess.
I mean, you're not listening.
Can I finish?
He said that about 200 times, didn't he?
He would talk for three minutes straight and go, are you going to interrupt me
or can I finish?
No one was saying a word.
He would ask to be interrupted.
You're not listening.
Can I finish?
Are you going to interrupt me?
Is that it?
Are you going to interrupt me?
Is that it?
Is that it?
Are you going to interrupt me?
I mean, I kept going until I got this far.
That's all right.
So, you know, I mean, we're lucky that he didn't do the duet album.
I'm glad Sinatra did that, you know?
That would be odd.
What would that be like?
You don't bring me flowers.
Now, can I sing the rest or interrupt me?
Is that it?
You're not listening.
You're not.
What are you?
Hey, hey, hey.
My favorite thing to do with Ross Pro, can I get this in before we switch, is
Ross Pro
is a hippie.
This is what I do for my friends at home late at night.
All right, okay.
Ross Pro is a hippie, ladies and gentlemen.
This is the impression that took my father's life.
Thank you.
Oh, God.
Joke.
Total joke.
He's alive and healthy.
Ross Pro as a hippie.
Now, every time I get the bomb, there's no marijuana in it, just water and air.
See?
Now, Hendrix is about to hit the stage and I'm not high and that's just sad.
Why not?
Go ahead.
Tell us a little bit about this film.
This is John Lovitz is in it.
Yeah, Nicholas Cage.
And then Nicholas Cage.
To me, this is like an ideal cast.
Three guys, very funny, all very interesting.
Well, the reason I did it is they said I could play a New York Italian
character.
So, you know.
There you go.
That's perfect casting.
And John Lovitz is his brother.
So, I come on the set and I, at first I had this voice.
I start talking like this.
How you doing?
I'm Alvin football.
Like that.
Director goes, cut.
He comes over, talks to me like this.
He goes, you can't talk like that.
Nobody talks like that.
They're not going to take you from New York.
Ain't nobody going to believe you from New York talking like that right now
here.
So, then I did Travolta for a day.
I was like, this is like such a weird movie.
I can't believe it.
I can't believe it.
I can't believe it.
I can't believe it.
And finally, I just sort of talk like this.
I just sort of do this in the movie and no one gets hurt.
And so, people can go watch the movie and see all three of these variations of-
Yeah, it was a stretch for me.
It's like Tom Cruise getting down on him for playing a vampire.
I thought he was great in that movie.
Yeah.
You know, you never know what life is till it comes over your lips in a big red
gush.
It was great.
Chandling tested for that part.
I didn't know that.
Yeah.
I had no idea.
How are my fangs?
How are my fangs?
I'm touching my vampire ass.
But the truth is, I'll continue.
Yeah.
A lot of actors took-
Jimmy Stewart played a vampire in 1952.
Yeah, I didn't realize that either.
They never-
You did not know that.
No, I did not know that.
They never shot Jimmy Stewart.
And he was pretty effective.
Well, here's what's going to happen.
These fangs are going to pop out.
And I'm going to bite your neck.
And then I'm going to suck you.
And I'm going to suck you good.
And I'm going to suck you till you're dry.
Oh, my God.
There he is.
You look so surreal.
Something about that Jimmy Stewart is very, very amusing.
I don't know.
Well, I'm watching your show last night knowing that I'm going to be sitting
here going,
I'm going to suck you till you're dry.
And I'm trying to fall asleep, but I'm just laughing.
Knowing that I'm going to sit in Dave's chair going, I'm going to suck you till
you're dry.
You can come back and do that every night.
I mean, in that.
Oh, I meant-
Oh, God.
No, I meant that.
Come on, get out of here.
Leave us alone, will you?
Stop it.
It was great.
He was drunk.
It happened once.
Now, when you left NBC, I read something in the paper.
You went through a little thing that I kind of went through when I left NBC,
which was-
There was a lot of chatter, a lot of talk about who owns what.
You know, when you leave NBC, like, do I own the church lady or not?
Seems to me the answer to that question is absolutely.
Oh, the bitch is mine.
Yeah!
No, I do.
But weirdly enough, the lawyers got kind of weird over there.
And as it turns out, evidently, I own the top ten.
Oh.
And Larry Bud Melman.
And I don't even want it.
You can have it.
You're great at it.
Well, I'll take half of that.
But it's interesting, if there had been litigation, in my case, we were talking
about stupid Petricks
and Larry Bud and all of that.
Right, yeah.
If there had been litigation, if it had gone to court-
I just play the relatives of the characters.
Oh, so you can do that now or you can do the whole thing?
Jenny's nephew, Hans and Franz's cousin.
Uh-huh.
I can't say I want to pump you up, but I can think it.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Okay.
We got a great program for you here tonight.
Nick Turturro is on the show this evening.
Financier from NYPD Blue.
Also, Jenny McCarthy from MTV and Stone Temple of Ireland.
We got a great program for you here tonight.
We got a great program for you here tonight.
We got a great program for you here tonight.
We got a great program for you here tonight.
We got a great program for you here tonight.
We got a great program for you here tonight.
We got a great program for you.
We got a great program for you here tonight.
We got a great program for you here tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a great program for you tonight.
We got a 