Name: The FCC Calls Dave | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2025-09-18T22:27:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The FCC Calls Dave | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The FCC Calls Dave | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-18. Transcript available.

Yeah.
Is that the phone? Boy, listen to that. It's kind of faint.
Yeah, it is the phone. Look at that. Look at the size of this bastard.
That thing's enormous. I mean, look, now look at it. Look at how big that thing
is.
This phone is the size of an accordion.
What's that?
All right.
1978 calling.
Hello?
Uh, Mr. Limmerman, I'm calling from the Federal Communications Commission.
We need you to answer a few questions to renew your talk show license.
Hello? You know, hi.
How did you get this number? And I've never heard of this.
And how can I get you off the phone as quickly as possible?
Well, don't flip me, flip-flop me, Matt. Just start with your name.
Um, Pat Sajak.
Uh, okay.
Uh, network, uh, network, network, network, network affiliation.
Uh, you sound like you might be a little dyspeptic. Are you all right, sir?
I'm, I'm, I'm fine.
Yeah.
Uh, network affiliation, CBS.
Yeah. Spell that, please.
Oh, I love it. God.
C.
B.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, D
as in dog?
D as, D, D, D, D as in dog?
No.
B as in B.
B.
B.
Oh, my God Almighty.
S.
Oh, hold on, hold on, hold on, my damn computer froze.
Hey, and grandma, get out, get out of the seat.
All right, okay, last question.
Can, can you please tell me that I'm pretty?
You know what, no, I'm not going to do that.
Look, bud, you can, you can make, you can make this, you can make this easy, or
you can make this hard.
Well, I think that's the last thing I'd want to do.
Yes, tell me I'm pretty.
What, was it your grandmother in the sink? Is that what I heard?
My, my, my grandma, my grandmother's in the sink, and she's, she's, she's not
wearing any clothes.
Well, why don't you get her to tell you that you're pretty?
I've done all I can here. Just tell me you're pretty, all right?
Okay, how about this, we're both pretty.
Look, look, look, I'll send you your license and a lock of my hair, and if you
need anyone in the meantime, call Zorro.
All right.
I'll, I'll be happy.
How about that?
Oh, I'll be gone.
Thank you.