Name: Sean Penn Talks About Madonna, Jack Nicholson | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2025-09-23T15:00:13.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Sean Penn Talks About Madonna, Jack Nicholson | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Sean Penn Talks About Madonna, Jack Nicholson | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-23. Transcript available.

Nice to see you here on The Late Show. Haven't seen you in quite a while, been
five or six years, four or five years, something like that.
About that, yeah.
Yeah, I'm told now that you were in England not so very long ago. How long ago
was that trip?
A couple, three weeks.
A couple, three weeks ago, and that there was some kind of trouble. There was a
little bit of a problem.
Yeah, no, I went into a bar and I decided it wasn't my night, so I was going to
leave, and it wasn't my night because I brushed somebody's shoulder, got shoved,
and then all hell broke loose.
All right, now, let me take you through this because already I'm fascinated by
several aspects of this story.
You decided you're going to go into a bar in England. Is it like a traditional
pub, the kind of thing we think of when we think of...
I don't know because they speak English, but it's more foreign than any other
place to me, so I don't...
I just found myself, and I couldn't see the place, so there's all people around.
So it's crowded. All right, so we know it's crowded. And you were going in
there. You're going to have a beer, going to have wine. What were you going to
have?
Usually vodka tonic.
A vodka tonic, okay.
A tepid smattering of applause.
All right, so you go in there and you realize it was not your night. Now, what
does that mean to you and your life, Sean Penn?
You know it's not going to be my life, my night, so I'm going to leave. What
does that mean?
I mean, it was louder than I wanted that night, but I didn't know that until I
got in there.
You were looking for something a little quiet, something a little more intimate.
That's right. Okay, all right. So then you brush a guy's arm, you kind of bump
shoulders...
Yeah, he shoved me.
Oh, he shoved you?
Yeah, right after that. He thought I was pushing through too hard.
Uh-huh. And were you, really? Is there any truth to his side of the story?
I have no idea.
You don't think so? Probably not. You just wanted to get out?
Yeah.
Okay. All right, then you say all hell broke loose. Now, what exactly is hell
breaking loose for you?
Because I know for me, it's like busting a shoelace. For me, that's all hell
breaking loose.
Well, it's when a guy shoves you a couple of times, and all of a sudden, you
know you have to do something about it.
Right. Yeah.
And he's really a lot too big for you to do something. So you hit him.
You hit the guy.
I hit him really...
Right, left?
Everything I had.
Right in the chops.
Yeah. And he just kind of went...
Yikes.
But he stayed like that for long enough for me to know he wasn't going anywhere,
so I took him over a table in time to find out that he had a lot of friends
with him.
And I went down on a glass or somebody hit me. I don't know what happened.
Something cut me.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
Were you scared during any of this?
No, I was drunk.
Ah, well, there you go.
There you go.
So anyway, that's behind you. Everything's settled. No problems as a result of
that. Let's just forget about it. Let's go on.
Okay. You know, I saw your film. It's a wonderful piece of work.
Thanks.
It's a real nice job. This is your second feature film, your second kind of
like big deal film.
And one of the stars of the film. Great cast, by the way. Jack Nicholson, Angelica
Houston. Help me out here. Who am I forgetting?
Robin Wright.
Robin Wright.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a nice job.
Now, you know Jack Nicholson as a buddy, right? You guys are friends?
What is that like, hanging around with him? Does all hell break loose with Jack?
No, nobody wants to hurt Jack Nicholson.
Yeah, that's probably true. Everybody loves Jack.
It's impossible not to, yeah.
Do you go out a lot with Jack?
Yeah, I would trip around sometimes a little bit.
And what do you do? What's a night like that?
Well, he's, you know, he talks a little bit absurd sometimes.
Yeah.
So, you know, like a girl come up to him in a bar and say, Mr. Nicholson, would
you like to dance?
And he say, wrong verb.
That's pretty cool, isn't it? That's really pretty cool.
They trip off his tongue pretty good.
Yeah, wrong verb.
I don't think we've had a chance to chat.
I know, in fact, we haven't had a chance to chat since your ex-wife was here,
Madonna.
She was here about, I don't know, a year and a half ago or something.
And talking about all hell breaking loose.
It was a crazy night.
Do you have a relationship with the woman now?
Are you friends?
Are you friendly?
I've gone on record with you before.
I've never met the woman.
But, you know, since you point out that segment, this is from Mark.
But, you know, I've sensed that one evening.
I've kind of gotten to know her a little bit better.
And I have a completely different impression of her.
I think she's a very nice, very smart young woman.
I'm sure she is.
The film, The Crossing Guard, this is a really powerful piece of work for you.
Tell the folks what we're dealing with here.
Jack Nicholson plays a guy who's lost his young daughter to a drunk driving
accident six years before the story starts.
And he's decided he's going to kill the guy who killed her, the guy who was
drunk and hit her with his car and had done about six years of manslaughter
charge for it.
And it's kind of the parallel story of their lives.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's very, very gripping.
And the film opens December 1st?
December 1st wide.
It's open in New York, Los Angeles now.
Yeah.
It's like vintage Nicholson, isn't it?
Well, he just came in a strip bare.
I mean, I think it's one of the finest things he's ever done.
Yeah.
Well, that must be very gratifying for you as the director of the film.
Well, more as a writer, because I didn't have to say too much to him as a
director.
He came in the only way he wanted to do.
Good for you.
Sean, it's always a pleasure to have you.
Come back again sometime.
Nice to see you.
Sean Penn.
Ladies and gentlemen.
We'll be right back.