Name: Diane Keaton Loves Wrestling | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2025-10-11T19:35:40.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Diane Keaton Loves Wrestling | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Diane Keaton Loves Wrestling | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-11. Transcript available.

I think you're terrific. I think you're wonderful and I'm very fond of
everything you do in films.
I think you're just great. Well, thank you. Thanks for being here. And you're
making me
really nervous. You're making me? I'm so scared. I haven't seen real people
like this in I don't
know how long. I think maybe, I mean, eight years. I'm so nervous. I can't tell
you.
That's a real audience. Now, what do you mean you haven't seen?
I see. You've never, you have not been in front of an audience for eight years.
No. I mean, I think the last time I was was, oh God, I guess Johnny Carson or
Johnny Carson.
He's still on, you know. He's still on. Years, years.
And was there a reason that you haven't been on a show like this in a while?
Because exactly the same reason I'm having now is that I have a hard time
really speaking.
It's bad.
No, but see, that must be, that's a false impression you have of yourself
because you're doing just
fine.
Oh, thank you so much. You're so kind.
Describe this for us. This little deal here.
Yeah. Okay.
I know. I look a little like a clown. It's a suit. It's a suit that I bought.
And I purchased it last night because I knew I was going to be on your show.
And I thought
that a nice bright color would be appropriate.
It's great. You look terrific. And you know what? I heard people backstage,
they were saying,
it works. It works. They're all saying, did you see Diane? I said, oh, it works.
It works.
Yeah. I'd like to really know what they think.
You have a big bow tie, which is cute. And then tell me, what's the
significance of any
of the little pin there, the horse?
I don't know. I just thought I sort of liked the design element.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Are you a horse fancier? Do you ride?
Not really, but I sort of like this horse.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
No, no, no.
You know, I...
You know, what's the problem is that now, you know, eight years later, and, you
know,
certainly I'm eight years older, and you'd think that with the time, with the
passage
of time, that I would be able to actually articulate myself with some sort of
grace.
And I feel exactly the same. It's just terrible.
But see, what I want to... I'll call this to your attention once more, and then
we'll
move on.
Yeah, okay, then we'll move on, okay?
Regardless of how it seems to you in there, everybody on the outside thinks you're
doing
just fine.
Just fine?
Yeah.
Okay.
David.
Now, I was told, and I know this for a fact, so there's no getting out of it.
One night, you, yourself, were a member of our studio audience.
Yeah, this summer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And now, why exactly?
Because I wanted to see your show.
Mm-hmm.
And so I came, and I really enjoyed it. It was great. And also, it was just
great to see
how these TV shows work.
Yeah.
And I'd like to do more of it, actually. You know, sort of, I'd like to be your
Mrs.
Miller.
Oh, you mean sit in the audience?
Yeah, I'd like it.
Yeah, well, that would...
I think they'd be nice. Yeah.
Yeah.
So now, after the show, I'm told, because I didn't see after the show, I'm told
you came
down, and you spoke to our producer, Barry Sand, and our segment producer,
Robert Morton.
Yes.
And, but you didn't...
Speak to you.
Yeah.
I know, because I was afraid to do that, actually. I was afraid to come down
and talk to you,
but now that I've met you, of course, the...
Anything goes.
Yeah, exactly, right.
Okay, now I'm going to ask you another thing.
Yeah.
We heard this afternoon that you were seen not more than two days ago in
another audience
at a wrestling match.
I was there. I was there. And I'm telling you, it was great. I mean, I'm
telling you,
it was great. Have you been?
Not since I was much younger.
Yes, but you must go, because it's just insane. The place is packed. Everybody,
everybody.
16,000 people were there watching this.
Madison Square Garden?
Madison Square Garden, and it was just great.
Now, who wrestled?
Well, you see, there you have it. There you have it. I don't know who they were.
I didn't
look at the... I did not look at the program. I was just looking at the people
and enjoying
the sights.
Yeah. You know, it's my... I feel that they've really raised this to a new
level of showmanship.
This is an unbelievable...
Yes, it's like the circus.
It's an event. Oh, yeah, it's great.
It really is. It's like theater.
Now, have you seen the wrestling talk show on Tuesday nights on cable?
No, I haven't seen it. On TV, no.
Yeah, it's guys with enormous necks sitting behind a desk and a chair.
Yeah.
Big, tough guys.
Yeah.
And somebody will come out, and they'll show each other like the step over toehold
and
that sort of thing.
They have a band, and it's nothing but wrestlers.
They do cooking demos. Somebody come on and cook.
No, I don't believe in this.
It's insane. No, it's every Tuesday night.
It's called Tuesday Night Titans.
Oh, that's great.
Now, do you feel yourself becoming a fan? Would you go back?
Probably not. No.
But I enjoyed it. I mean, I really did enjoy it.
Yeah.
But I don't see me going back a lot.
Yeah.
What else do you do for fun that you're curious about?
Well, for fun.
Hmm.
I see.
Well, many, many, I don't know what to say exactly.
Yeah.
So, you know, that's not a very good question, actually.
People ask me, what do you do for fun?
And I think to myself, well, what I really do for fun is not going to sound
that great.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, exactly.
People are just going to say, that's not selling much.
Yeah.
So, I'm guessing that you do quiet things, don't you?
Just quiet, passive things.
Do you, do you, uh...
No, I don't know.
I, I do regular things, like you.
What do you do?
Well, I, see, I, I mean, you know...
I don't do much of all.
I, I don't do much at all.
Do you go out to the movies and, uh, take walks?
I, I don't take walks, no.
I, I go to movies periodically.
Yeah.
Yeah, me too.
I enjoy that.
It's very nice.
Do you do any exercise?
Do you bowl or anything?
No, I don't, see, I don't particularly take the exercise.
But I do a little of it.
But I, I feel that, you know, what happens, happens.
If you jump around a bit, it's good.
But I don't think a whole lot of it, no.
Yeah, if, if you were going to start exercising, is there anything that strikes
your fancy?
What would be?
Well, perhaps, um, a little jumping up and down, uh, bending over.
I don't know.
I'm still at a loss.
Yeah, but, look, if you're going to start jumping up and down, please consult
with your doctor first.
Just don't go crazy on this.
Thank you, folks.
Uh, you know, you have two books here, uh, that, uh, these are, these are your
photographs.
You've made these photographs.
You took these pictures.
Yes.
And, uh, and this is a, uh, a really interesting collection of, I guess,
production stills from
motion pictures.
And I, and I'm told, these are really great to, to thumb through.
Well, I'm telling you this.
You didn't, but.
I don't know.
But, but you don't want to talk about these, I'm told.
Because, you see, I feel that, uh, it, it's not that interesting to hear me
talk about it.
Mm-hmm.
Would you like to have a member of your family on to talk about it?
Uh, but this one, now, just, but explain this one.
I mean, I know you don't want to talk about it, but.
Oh, my goodness.
I explained it poorly, but it.
But you explain it.
I, I'd, I'd prefer to hear you explain it.
Well, I'm just going to show a picture, and then you, you explain it.
right here this is a perfect example this one right there diane tell them what
that is where
it comes from oh see no there you have it i i really you know i could i could
tell you that uh
that is uh i that's diane mcbane and that's that's chad everett and that's i i
believe that's a
warner brothers picture from uh a photograph but i don't remember i don't
remember the name of the
picture uh what do you know what it is i feel like i see i feel like uh this is
number 10 let's see
yes where would we find number 10. i think oh in the back in the back now i
will tell you in just
a second what that is oh here they are right here it's hard to believe that
this was a good idea
because i all right number 10. yes uh it's called claudel english that's
exactly right warner brothers
i know a lot uh you had everybody correct did you mention will hutchins yeah i
don't know will
hutchins do you remember him no he's the one who's not chad everett though that's
exactly right diane
mcbane anyway yes if you like that picture and i get a sense they really did
they just enjoyed it a
lot i can tell uh it's full of these and they're very odd looking photographs
unusual yeah and and why
is that why is that because they were all posed basically you see i thought
that they looked not
dissimilar from those you know the natural museum the natural history museum
the dioramas yeah they sort of
look similar to stuffed animals that's right they they look too too posed too
posed too lifelike but not
really lifelike yeah artificial and too colorful and these are all from uh
motion pictures this is
exactly right you've got it all right and see no that was i think everybody
enjoyed that as well yes they
just enjoyed it yeah uh right along okay now tell me about working with mel gibson
what's the deal on
this guy yeah that's right he's extremely wonderful and uh very nice looking
and how old a man is he he's a
young man he's a young man mid-20s he's 28 i believe and he has four children
oh my yes uh he's married
people seem to go uh crazy for this guy yeah he's extraordinary he has some
something charismatic
about him i guess i think women particularly would go for him that's what i
meant probably more women
than men going for him i didn't think you would no but uh you know i don't know
if he had a mustache
maybe i uh so did you enjoy working with the guy oh i love it because you know
i played this woman who
was just desperate to be well touched by somebody she'd never really been
touched in the right way if
you know what i mean and so she well this was the greatest thing in her life
and of course to play that
with mel is one of the bigger treats you'll have in life yeah um i loved it i i
really like being
in love with them now let's talk about the movie since you brought up now this
is a a real this is
an actual story isn't this is an actual story yeah i mean a true life true life
story tell them what
it is you play the wife of i'm gonna tell them you're not gonna tell them for
me i know this is a story
this is a true story takes place in 1901 and it's about this poor sad warden's
wife who reads the bible
she's passionately involved with religion right and so what happens is she
reads the bible to mel
and he's accused of murder and so what actually happens is that she begins to
uh well she decides
to help them out and let them escape and she puts these saws under her uh well
in her boot you know
what i mean to help them leave now i've said it yeah and okay we're going to
take a look at a few
minutes from the movie okay mrs soulful stories yeah is that the right title i
guess it's just mrs soul
mrs soulful that's right okay here it is diane keaton that's very nice
now you said you sat here the whole time and you stared right down here at this
have you gone to see
this film i've seen it yeah is it difficult for you to watch yourself yeah no
why
take a look i don't know uh well no take a look okay i think this works this is
all right it's a
you know it's reasonable huh no no but you you ought to be on be beyond this
sort of thing uh
no i think that it's you you have you been in a movie have you seen yourself on
the big screen no no
i we uh no no we uh
soon you will i'm sure no i don't think so i i i see what you're getting at
though that aspect
of it must be jarring so it's a jarring it's a shock yeah it's a shock no but
you should be beyond
that at this point an academy award winner well that's now the the people are
talking about
a possible nomination for this people are talking yeah they're just talking
away yeah
now what are you doing after the show what are you doing tonight plenty oh i
got big plans
all right like what well for instance i'm going to go see uh well there's a
documentary downtown at the
film forum which is about um do you remember bunwell the director louise bunwell
of course
yeah i'm going down there i'm going to see it uh-huh see his document i'm gonna
have a bite
now where are you gonna eat what do you go to what do you have when you go well
i'll have a bite
but what what will you be having tonight food food lots of food yeah you
probably don't eat a lot
of meat do you well well i don't know why'd you ask
you just don't look like you'd sit down in front of a roast and go nuts you
know
uh probably lighter foods a lighter food i like scallops no i don't like scallops
too fishy
yeah um what would be the entree well perhaps a nice bit of fries some french
fries
so that would be the main course get yourself a platter of fries
yes nice fries and maybe a little root beer no i don't like the beer no no do
you
uh i used to as a child i liked root beer yeah i bet you did yeah yeah
uh well i hope you have a very nice time tonight i i will thanks god bless you
now thank you very much
much no we we ever come back or is this it oh my god now think about it this is
a golden opportunity
for a gal
stay right there and then we'll do a station identification golden opportunity

Diane Keaton Loves Wrestling | David Letterman

I think you're terrific. I think you're wonderful and I'm very fond of
everything you do in films.
I think you're just great. Well, thank you. Thanks for being here. And you're
making me
really nervous. You're making me? I'm so scared. I haven't seen real people
like this in I don't
know how long. I think maybe, I mean, eight years. I'm so nervous. I can't tell
you.
That's a real audience. Now, what do you mean you haven't seen?
I see. You've never, you have not been in front of an audience for eight years.
No. I mean, I think the last time I was was, oh God, I guess Johnny Carson or
Johnny Carson.
He's still on, you know. He's still on. Years, years.
And was there a reason that you haven't been on a show like this in a while?
Because exactly the same reason I'm having now is that I have a hard time
really speaking.
It's bad.
No, but see, that must be, that's a false impression you have of yourself
because you're doing just
fine.
Oh, thank you so much. You're so kind.
Describe this for us. This little deal here.
Yeah. Okay.
I know. I look a little like a clown. It's a suit. It's a suit that I bought.
And I purchased it last night because I knew I was going to be on your show.
And I thought
that a nice bright color would be appropriate.
It's great. You look terrific. And you know what? I heard people backstage,
they were saying,
it works. It works. They're all saying, did you see Diane? I said, oh, it works.
It works.
Yeah. I'd like to really know what they think.
You have a big bow tie, which is cute. And then tell me, what's the
significance of any
of the little pin there, the horse?
I don't know. I just thought I sort of liked the design element.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Are you a horse fancier? Do you ride?
Not really, but I sort of like this horse.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
No, no, no.
You know, I...
You know, what's the problem is that now, you know, eight years later, and, you
know,
certainly I'm eight years older, and you'd think that with the time, with the
passage
of time, that I would be able to actually articulate myself with some sort of
grace.
And I feel exactly the same. It's just terrible.
But see, what I want to... I'll call this to your attention once more, and then
we'll
move on.
Yeah, okay, then we'll move on, okay?
Regardless of how it seems to you in there, everybody on the outside thinks you're
doing
just fine.
Just fine?
Yeah.
Okay.
David.
Now, I was told, and I know this for a fact, so there's no getting out of it.
One night, you, yourself, were a member of our studio audience.
Yeah, this summer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And now, why exactly?
Because I wanted to see your show.
Mm-hmm.
And so I came, and I really enjoyed it. It was great. And also, it was just
great to see
how these TV shows work.
Yeah.
And I'd like to do more of it, actually. You know, sort of, I'd like to be your
Mrs.
Miller.
Oh, you mean sit in the audience?
Yeah, I'd like it.
Yeah, well, that would...
I think they'd be nice. Yeah.
Yeah.
So now, after the show, I'm told, because I didn't see after the show, I'm told
you came
down, and you spoke to our producer, Barry Sand, and our segment producer,
Robert Morton.
Yes.
And, but you didn't...
Speak to you.
Yeah.
I know, because I was afraid to do that, actually. I was afraid to come down
and talk to you,
but now that I've met you, of course, the...
Anything goes.
Yeah, exactly, right.
Okay, now I'm going to ask you another thing.
Yeah.
We heard this afternoon that you were seen not more than two days ago in
another audience
at a wrestling match.
I was there. I was there. And I'm telling you, it was great. I mean, I'm
telling you,
it was great. Have you been?
Not since I was much younger.
Yes, but you must go, because it's just insane. The place is packed. Everybody,
everybody.
16,000 people were there watching this.
Madison Square Garden?
Madison Square Garden, and it was just great.
Now, who wrestled?
Well, you see, there you have it. There you have it. I don't know who they were.
I didn't
look at the... I did not look at the program. I was just looking at the people
and enjoying
the sights.
Yeah. You know, it's my... I feel that they've really raised this to a new
level of showmanship.
This is an unbelievable...
Yes, it's like the circus.
It's an event. Oh, yeah, it's great.
It really is. It's like theater.
Now, have you seen the wrestling talk show on Tuesday nights on cable?
No, I haven't seen it. On TV, no.
Yeah, it's guys with enormous necks sitting behind a desk and a chair.
Yeah.
Big, tough guys.
Yeah.
And somebody will come out, and they'll show each other like the step over toehold
and
that sort of thing.
They have a band, and it's nothing but wrestlers.
They do cooking demos. Somebody come on and cook.
No, I don't believe in this.
It's insane. No, it's every Tuesday night.
It's called Tuesday Night Titans.
Oh, that's great.
Now, do you feel yourself becoming a fan? Would you go back?
Probably not. No.
But I enjoyed it. I mean, I really did enjoy it.
Yeah.
But I don't see me going back a lot.
Yeah.
What else do you do for fun that you're curious about?
Well, for fun.
Hmm.
I see.
Well, many, many, I don't know what to say exactly.
Yeah.
So, you know, that's not a very good question, actually.
People ask me, what do you do for fun?
And I think to myself, well, what I really do for fun is not going to sound
that great.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, exactly.
People are just going to say, that's not selling much.
Yeah.
So, I'm guessing that you do quiet things, don't you?
Just quiet, passive things.
Do you, do you, uh...
No, I don't know.
I, I do regular things, like you.
What do you do?
Well, I, see, I, I mean, you know...
I don't do much of all.
I, I don't do much at all.
Do you go out to the movies and, uh, take walks?
I, I don't take walks, no.
I, I go to movies periodically.
Yeah.
Yeah, me too.
I enjoy that.
It's very nice.
Do you do any exercise?
Do you bowl or anything?
No, I don't, see, I don't particularly take the exercise.
But I do a little of it.
But I, I feel that, you know, what happens, happens.
If you jump around a bit, it's good.
But I don't think a whole lot of it, no.
Yeah, if, if you were going to start exercising, is there anything that strikes
your fancy?
What would be?
Well, perhaps, um, a little jumping up and down, uh, bending over.
I don't know.
I'm still at a loss.
Yeah, but, look, if you're going to start jumping up and down, please consult
with your doctor first.
Just don't go crazy on this.
Thank you, folks.
Uh, you know, you have two books here, uh, that, uh, these are, these are your
photographs.
You've made these photographs.
You took these pictures.
Yes.
And, uh, and this is a, uh, a really interesting collection of, I guess,
production stills from
motion pictures.
And I, and I'm told, these are really great to, to thumb through.
Well, I'm telling you this.
You didn't, but.
I don't know.
But, but you don't want to talk about these, I'm told.
Because, you see, I feel that, uh, it, it's not that interesting to hear me
talk about it.
Mm-hmm.
Would you like to have a member of your family on to talk about it?
Uh, but this one, now, just, but explain this one.
I mean, I know you don't want to talk about it, but.
Oh, my goodness.
I explained it poorly, but it.
But you explain it.
I, I'd, I'd prefer to hear you explain it.
Well, I'm just going to show a picture, and then you, you explain it.
right here this is a perfect example this one right there diane tell them what
that is where
it comes from oh see no there you have it i i really you know i could i could
tell you that uh
that is uh i that's diane mcbane and that's that's chad everett and that's i i
believe that's a
warner brothers picture from uh a photograph but i don't remember i don't
remember the name of the
picture uh what do you know what it is i feel like i see i feel like uh this is
number 10 let's see
yes where would we find number 10. i think oh in the back in the back now i
will tell you in just
a second what that is oh here they are right here it's hard to believe that
this was a good idea
because i all right number 10. yes uh it's called claudel english that's
exactly right warner brothers
i know a lot uh you had everybody correct did you mention will hutchins yeah i
don't know will
hutchins do you remember him no he's the one who's not chad everett though that's
exactly right diane
mcbane anyway yes if you like that picture and i get a sense they really did
they just enjoyed it a
lot i can tell uh it's full of these and they're very odd looking photographs
unusual yeah and and why
is that why is that because they were all posed basically you see i thought
that they looked not
dissimilar from those you know the natural museum the natural history museum
the dioramas yeah they sort of
look similar to stuffed animals that's right they they look too too posed too
posed too lifelike but not
really lifelike yeah artificial and too colorful and these are all from uh
motion pictures this is
exactly right you've got it all right and see no that was i think everybody
enjoyed that as well yes they
just enjoyed it yeah uh right along okay now tell me about working with mel gibson
what's the deal on
this guy yeah that's right he's extremely wonderful and uh very nice looking
and how old a man is he he's a
young man he's a young man mid-20s he's 28 i believe and he has four children
oh my yes uh he's married
people seem to go uh crazy for this guy yeah he's extraordinary he has some
something charismatic
about him i guess i think women particularly would go for him that's what i
meant probably more women
than men going for him i didn't think you would no but uh you know i don't know
if he had a mustache
maybe i uh so did you enjoy working with the guy oh i love it because you know
i played this woman who
was just desperate to be well touched by somebody she'd never really been
touched in the right way if
you know what i mean and so she well this was the greatest thing in her life
and of course to play that
with mel is one of the bigger treats you'll have in life yeah um i loved it i i
really like being
in love with them now let's talk about the movie since you brought up now this
is a a real this is
an actual story isn't this is an actual story yeah i mean a true life true life
story tell them what
it is you play the wife of i'm gonna tell them you're not gonna tell them for
me i know this is a story
this is a true story takes place in 1901 and it's about this poor sad warden's
wife who reads the bible
she's passionately involved with religion right and so what happens is she
reads the bible to mel
and he's accused of murder and so what actually happens is that she begins to
uh well she decides
to help them out and let them escape and she puts these saws under her uh well
in her boot you know
what i mean to help them leave now i've said it yeah and okay we're going to
take a look at a few
minutes from the movie okay mrs soulful stories yeah is that the right title i
guess it's just mrs soul
mrs soulful that's right okay here it is diane keaton that's very nice
now you said you sat here the whole time and you stared right down here at this
have you gone to see
this film i've seen it yeah is it difficult for you to watch yourself yeah no
why
take a look i don't know uh well no take a look okay i think this works this is
all right it's a
you know it's reasonable huh no no but you you ought to be on be beyond this
sort of thing uh
no i think that it's you you have you been in a movie have you seen yourself on
the big screen no no
i we uh no no we uh
soon you will i'm sure no i don't think so i i i see what you're getting at
though that aspect
of it must be jarring so it's a jarring it's a shock yeah it's a shock no but
you should be beyond
that at this point an academy award winner well that's now the the people are
talking about
a possible nomination for this people are talking yeah they're just talking
away yeah
now what are you doing after the show what are you doing