Name: Dave Meets The World's Largest Vase | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2025-10-27T15:01:17.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Meets The World's Largest Vase | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Meets The World's Largest Vase | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-27. Transcript available.

Dave Meets The World's Largest Vase | David Letterman

You know, ladies and gentlemen, since the beginning of time,
man has been constructing and erecting monuments to powers greater than himself.
Many of these structures have certainly withstood the test of time.
Let's take a look at now a few of the more famous of those.
Of course, the pyramids, and this would be Stonehenge, somewhere in New Jersey.
This next one is the Parthenon, of course.
And last but not least, the world's largest vase.
Now, of all of these world-famous landmarks, perhaps the least is known about
the world's largest vase.
We here have plenty of free time and, as a result, done some research into the
world's largest vase.
And let me read you what we know about it so far.
According to this photograph, a six-year-old girl admires the world's largest
vase.
It was constructed in 1897 for an exhibit at the St. Louis Exposition.
It has been valued at $10,000, now on exhibit at the Pottery Queen, two miles
east of Zanesville, Ohio.
And apparently, visitors are welcome if you'd like to go see the world's
largest vase.
Well, we did some phoning.
You have to understand, we here at Late Night have been, I don't want to say
obsessed, but that's the word.
We have been obsessed with finding out about the world's largest vase, and we
have the name of a woman in Zanesville, Ohio, who perhaps can shed some more
light into the world's largest vase for us.
And we're going to call her right now and see if we can't piece this together.
I've been so nervous about this all day.
We don't even know if it's still in existence, ladies and gentlemen.
We just know that we want more.
What a stupid way to make a living.
Well, stop doing that.
Hello.
We're calling Betty Ward in Zanesville, Ohio.
And in just a few minutes, have I done something wrong with the phone?
Let me try this.
Okay.
Okay, we got heavy traffic this morning on the Whitestone Bridge.
Yes.
Hello.
Hello, is Betty Ward there, please?
Yes, this is Betty Ward.
Betty, how are you?
My name is David Letterman.
I'm calling from New York City.
Well, hello.
What is your weather like there, Betty?
It's a beautiful day.
Beautiful day.
Now, Betty, you know why we're calling.
We have reason to believe that you can shed some light on the topic of the
world's largest vase for us.
All right.
Now, do you have it there with you?
No.
No.
Have you seen it yourself?
Oh, yes.
And how big would it be?
About seven feet.
Seven feet.
And this child, this six-year-old child, about how tall was that kid?
Did you see the kid?
Yes.
That was on a postcard.
Uh-huh.
Oh, goodness.
I don't know.
I really wouldn't know the height of the little girl.
It was about an average-sized kid, maybe?
Yes.
Yeah.
Now, where did you see the vase, Betty?
This vase was a part of my parents' collection of pottery.
Uh-huh.
And where did they keep it?
In the antique shop, White Pillars Antique Shop.
Yeah.
And now, as far as you know, is there a curse on this thing, or?
Well, as far as I know, there's no curse on this thing.
Uh-huh.
And what would you do as a kid?
Would you just kind of look at it, or?
Yes.
Uh-huh.
And was it a pretty impressive sight?
Very impressive.
Yeah.
Uh...
And it says here on this postcard that it was about $10,000.
Is that...
Well, that was the value given at that time.
Uh-huh.
And what would you guess it is now?
Oh, my.
Well, I would imagine closer to $100,000, although I'm not an appraiser in that
area.
$100,000 for the world's largest vase, and it was about seven feet tall.
Right.
So that's really larger than it ought to be, isn't it?
Yes.
Yeah.
Now, Betty, you don't have it anymore, correct?
Right.
Now, who actually has the vase now?
Well, I'm not sure, but the man who bought the collection from my mother lives
in Ames, Iowa.
Uh-huh.
Do you know the man's name?
Yes.
Okay.
Could we have the guy's name?
Let's see.
Dr. Harold Nichols.
Uh-huh.
Ames, Iowa.
Uh-huh.
And do you have a phone number for the doctor?
Yes.
Just a moment.
Okay.
Getting the phone number.
I have one.
Hold it.
Okay.
You're turned down.
Okay.
What is it, Betty?
Uh-huh.
Okay.
Okay.
Great.
Betty, we're going to call Dr. Nichols now, and we'll see if we can't get him
to bring
the vase to New York.
I see.
Okay.
Thank you very much.
All right.
Have a nice night.
You want to talk to my mother?
She's here.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Put mom on.
She's visiting me right now.
Oh, she's visiting?
Where's she visiting from?
California.
Oh, California.
I'm from the Golden State, sort of.
I see.
Yeah.
Originally from Indiana, and then I moved to California.
Yeah.
She likes California.
Oh, yeah.
I like it, too.
Yes.
Okay.
You want to put her on now?
All right.
Just a moment.
Okay.
This will be Betty.
Louise Proviance.
Proviance?
Right.
Louise Proviance.
Okay.
Just a moment.
Okay.
Kind of an interesting...
Hello.
Hello, Louise?
Yes.
Hi.
This is David Letterman.
I was just talking to your daughter, Betty, there about the vase.
Yes.
Yeah.
Well, okay.
We're...
Louise, I would like to talk to you.
A little longer, but we have to call this man in Iowa.
Oh.
All right.
Okay.
You understand.
We kind of want to wrap this up, so thank you very much.
Have a nice day in Iowa, and give my best to the folks in California.
Okay.
Thank you.
Okay, Louise.
Louise.
Now, do we have time to do this?
Okay.
That was Betty Ward and her mother, Louise.
Now, we're calling Ames, Iowa.
I hope I get this number correct.
Ames, Iowa.
We're working our way farther and farther west.
It's exciting, isn't it?
It's an epic journey.
Dr. Harold Nichols, Ames, Iowa.
Hello?
Excuse me.
Could you say that one more time?
Just say that again, please.
Hello?
Hi.
My name's David Letterman.
Is this Dr. Harold Nichols?
Yes.
Dr. Nichols, are you aware of the fact that you pronounced the word hello with
an N in it?
No, I didn't.
Try it one more time.
Hello.
No, no.
You changed it.
Listen, I'm calling from New York City, Dr. Nichols.
How are you today?
Fine, thank you.
And how's the weather there in Iowa?
It's delightful today.
Oh, that's good.
Now, Dr. Nichols, what do you do for a living, by the way?
I'm head wrestling coach at Iowa State.
Oh.
Dr. Nichols, do you know a woman named Betty Ward in Zanesville, Ohio?
Yes, I do.
And Betty told us that you have purchased from her and her family the world's
largest vase.
Well, that's right.
All right.
I'm going to ask you to get a grip on yourself now.
And where do you have the vase now, Dr. Nichols?
Well, right now it's in storage.
And how tall is it?
It's seven foot.
And what did you pay for it?
Well, it came in a total museum collection.
And it paid $300,000 for the museum.
Wow.
So wrestling is pretty good business for you, isn't it?
You have enough sidelines, yes.
Yeah.
Now, doctor, do you pronounce, do you call it a vase or a vase?
A vase.
A vase.
And now, you don't let the kids wrestle near it, do you?
No, sure don't.
Don't even let them around it.
Yeah.
Is this a pretty spectacular thing, the world's largest vase?
Oh, yes.
It's a weller.
It's aurelian.
Oh, man, it's beautiful.
Uh-huh.
Now, is it possible for you to get that thing shipped to us here?
And we'd like to have it on display in our studio in New York.
Is that at all possible, sir?
It's possible.
I'd have to get some wrestlers to move it.
Uh-huh.
All right, well, if we arranged to have wrestlers move this artifact, it would
be okay with you then, huh?
Sure.
Oh, okay, well, that's great.
I'll tell you what we'll do.
I'm going to put you on hold here.
We'll get some information from you, and we'll try to set up some sort of an
exhibit here in the studio.
All right.
Okay, and say hello for me one more time.
Hello.
No, now you're, you did it differently.
You said, hello.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
Dr. Nichols, hang on, and we'll get the information from you.
There's Dr. Nichols.
Hi there, and welcome back to the show.
And as we say in this part of the country, hello.
He actually said that, didn't he?
Yeah.
A couple of weeks ago, ladies and gentlemen, we were sent, someone sent this
postcard to us in the mail,
of which I have a copy right here.
And what you have here is something called the world's largest vase.
And the caption on the back of the postcard says,
a six-year-old girl admires the world's largest vase made in Zanesville, Ohio,
in 1897.
Well, we thought it would be interesting if we could find out just exactly
where this vase was.
It doesn't really give the dimensions of the vase.
And we found out that it's presently owned by a gentleman who lives in Iowa,
and he is here tonight.
We phoned him a couple of weeks ago, and we have the world's largest vase.
In our studio, and it will be on display all week.
Now that school is out, it would be a good trip for you and the kids who just
come in here to see it.
Before we show you the vase, I'd like now to introduce from Ames, Iowa,
one of the most respected collegiate wrestling coaches in the United States.
Please welcome Dr. Harold Nichols, ladies and gentlemen.
Hi, David.
Nice to see you.
Now, you have, this of course is not the world's largest vase, is it?
That's a present for you.
Oh, thank you very much.
This is, that's what the world's largest vase looks like, right?
Somewhat like that, yeah.
Now, first of all, tell me about your coaching experience at Iowa State
University.
How many national collegiate championships have you won there?
Six.
And how long have you been the head man there?
30 years.
And you also coached Dan Gable and many other Olympic stars?
Dan Gable, Ben Peterson, Chris Taylor.
Yeah.
And your most recent NCAA championship was when?
1977.
77.
And do you remember your win-lost record?
No, I've never kept track of that.
It was over 450, I think.
Well, we have here, this is, of course, the latest record.
409 victories, 57 defeats, and 11 ties, and that's a 869 out of 1,000
percentage.
That's unbelievable.
Now, how is it you ended up with the world's largest vase?
How did that happen?
Well, I started collecting pottery, and in the process, tried to get a number
of the different
pieces in Roseville and Weller, different lines that come in different patterns.
And to get some of those, I had to buy a pretty large collection.
Yeah.
The vase itself that we're talking about, how big is that?
That's seven feet.
Seven feet tall.
Yeah.
And valuable, this thing?
They say a quarter of a million dollars.
A quarter of a million dollars.
Now, on the postcard here, we see a six-year-old girl admiring it, according to
the legend back
here.
Now, do you know whatever became of the six-year-old girl?
I have no idea.
That's back in the 40s.
Yeah.
Now, what do you do with the vase?
Well, I just keep it in storage most of the time.
Uh-huh.
And do you ever take it with you to wrestling meets?
No, I've got some wrestlers big enough to carry it, but then I've never taken
it.
Yeah, yeah.
All right, well, we sent it out all the way from Iowa, and at a pretty good
expense, and
it's insured.
I understand now the guard back there is no joke, is he?
No.
I mean, the insurance company said you got to have the ... All right, let's go
now and
take a look at the world's largest vase, ladies and gentlemen.
Let's ...
How do you do?
Nice to see you.
What is your name, sir?
Douglas Parhan.
Douglas, I'm David Letterman, and this is Dr. Nichols.
He owns the vase, and we'd just like to ... You don't mind if we come on in
there, do you?
There you are.
Thank you very much.
How long do you have to be here?
Until about 12.
About 12 tonight?
Yes.
Oh, my.
And then somebody else comes in to guard the vase?
Correct.
Woo!
Well, here it is.
I don't know what else I can tell you, except this would be the world's largest
vase, and
I can't tell you how proud we are to have it in our studio.
And anything you want to say before we unveil it, Dr. Nichols?
No, you go ahead.
Unwrap it.
Okay, now, we have to be very careful if we don't knock this thing over, and
... Oh,
there we go.
That's not so tough.
There you are.
There's the ...
Now, this ...
This will be on display all week, as I said, so, you know, I guess to try and
get som