Name: Jimmy Kimmel's Movie Audition Did Not Go Well | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2025-12-09T16:00:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jimmy Kimmel's Movie Audition Did Not Go Well | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-12-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jimmy Kimmel's Movie Audition Did Not Go Well | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-12-09. Transcript available.

how you doing i'm doing all right you know i saw that guy backstage and
actually it's not i got a
good look it wasn't a hairpiece but he did have breast implants yeah maybe that's
a new game you
might want to take it up with yeah i'll take it up with paul now the show
begins its uh third season
now how are things tell people about the show what do you do what's the idea it's
you and well
adam carola yeah yeah it's a show for guys it's not a game show though no it's
not a game show no
we don't identify hair pieces or staff members or any of that stuff but uh it's
a show for guys i
mean it's you know it's uh things guys like like paul and i might watch the
show well you might but
apparently you don't but um it's uh you can't really assume that it's it's
stupid stuff you probably
wouldn't like it i mean it's girls on trampolines oh i like that i think that's
yeah and then we have
monkeys and monkeys what do you do with the monkey they fart on each other and
stuff it's ridiculous
i'm ashamed to even be a part of it you know you know where i saw you uh during
the football season
you do a work for fox on the football cover yeah i thought that was pretty good
oh thank you yeah you
did some you had some interest entertaining little things you do there yeah
predictions yeah i do uh i i
castigate terry bradge on howie long and that's that's fun because these are
bull i mean these are
bullies i mean these are the kind of guys that you know that uh you know give
you the twisters and grab you
and lift you up in high school and and for me to be able to make fun of them it's
a real thrill
now do they do they like you and do they like you making fun of them no they
dislike me and they
dislike me making fun of them so it's a complete package exactly yeah yeah um
and do you know a lot
about football no i really don't know that much about football which is great
because i wind up um
winning you know they they rank your picks against all these other pickers and
uh you know all these guys
right i've won one both two years in a row is that right yeah yeah i've had the
best so you've beaten
the expert yes it's ridiculous that's amazing i don't even know i know that
they'll throw the ball
downfield and you know they'll break to the right and that kind of stuff but i
don't know that much
about i saw one thing you were doing i think it was around playoff time and you
you were
interviewing the three panelists it was bradshaw and whoever the other guys are
collinsworth yeah and
you had to well you had a monkey playing either terry or chris collins that was
very funny oh thank you
okay you know it's i mean uh i don't want to embarrass you again but it's my
third time on
the show here and it's it's very exciting uh for me because you know i love the
show and i love you
dave and uh i've told you that and they love you dave thank you um very nice
the first time the show
was real i mean it was a great thrill and it was everything i hoped for and the
second time i came on
in a way it was even better because it's like not only did i get to be on the
show but you know you
like me enough to have me back and now to be on a third time on on my favorite
show it's just like
what the hell do you want from me already you know i mean i was on a couple of
times it went fine
enough i mean if you you know if you think you're gonna turn me into your tony
randall forget it
no no no no
i'm not gonna feel that way
um we got to do a uh commercial here and then uh congratulations by the way and
your lakers winning
the uh nba championship thank you yeah i'm a laker fan i know you didn't like
them or their outfits or
any of that stuff but hey you gotta understand they're a great team and
everyone in l i mean like a
juggernaut yeah everyone in l is very exciting it's been you know it's been
almost a year since they
won their last championship so it was a huge deal and like a half a million
people came out to um
to see shack rap and which you know is one of my personal favorites the guy you
can't understand
a word he says in an interview but he's rapping and you know completely unintelligible
otherwise how
did the fans behave because i think a year ago wasn't there some civil unrest
yeah it was great because
the police chief thanked everyone for not looting this is like if the state troopers
start pulling
you over to thank you for not speeding it ain't gonna happen no probably not
now do you uh have
you done movies you want to do movies is that where you would like to go or you're
just going to stay
with the man show yeah well no i mean i hope i hope to do that uh i mean i
actually got a uh call
from the keenan ivory wayans empire uh asking me to audition for scary movie
too that's pretty good yeah i mean
well yeah as an actor i mean if there's two directors you want to work with it's
woody allen and keenan
right and uh so they they uh they sent over a script actually sent over a
couple of pages of the
script you don't want the plot to get out and um and uh i was to play the um
this the priest from the
exorcist so you know i'm not what you'd call a good actor um so uh you know i
figured though carmen
electra is the star of this movie how good do i have to be yeah i go in there i
don't know is she
is she not a good is she a good actor i don't know i don't know i've never seen
her no no no and um
so i go in and i audition for for keenan and i was i was horrible and um uh you
know i never hear
anything a couple months go by i'm reading the newspaper and who gets the part
of the exorcist from
the priest um marlon brando that's the part not marlon wayans marlon brando
that's the part and at
first i was a little disappointed then i said you know if i'm being considered
for the same roles as
marlon brando i gotta lose some weight you know uh i'm uh but actually uh biff
has me on the dr
lou macaroni diet back there so and uh uh on your man show do you have uh do
you have a guest is that
what you have oh we try to get guests but we never you do the show in in california
los angeles yeah we
never get that's the hotbed of celebrities yeah i mean if you guys wind up with
me as your guest
imagine what we wind up with as our guest no no i mean i would really i mean we've
been rejected this
year by um uh patsy from happy days uh you know litter no kidding around here
erica strada um uh rejected
yes bob saget not only said no but got mad that we called his cell phone uh you
know it's really it's
the only one who agreed to do the show was uh snoop dogg but i think he was stoned
when he made that
that decision we don't get good guests but you know i walk around here and i
see you know i was
on broadway and this is supposed to be the highest level of of entertainment
and i see that tom wopat
and david hasselhoff and uh linda lavin have shows and i mean let's be honest
here this broadway
is a dumping ground for people that no one wants to see on tv anymore and this
hey seriously fred savage
is the phantom
right now when the when the guests uh do come on just say hypothetically
speaking that a guest would
come on yeah what would you do with the guests oh i can't is it like that
hypothetically is it like an
interview is it like a uh what do you do we haven't even gotten to that point
yet actually we had um
we did a hanukkah segment with goldberg the wrestler he's this big jewish
wrestler yeah and uh you know
he bent stuff into a menorah and you know if if there are any celebrities
watching you know who
might want to come on the show we'll figure out something for you the custom
taylor a segment for
that absolutely whoever you are will come up with something and the audience
drinks beer is that all
yeah the audience is drunk and um we yeah is that legal yeah it is really
yeah well um our audience we're able to do it because we're on cable you can
drink beer on cable
so your show has a liquor license yeah we do that's a that's a good advertising
slug for us
hors d'oeuvres uh no we don't give any food but that's a good idea too just
keep them loaded yeah
yeah they laugh harder when they're drunk do you have plans plans for the
summer you up to anything
um are you are you married yeah i'm married i'm married how long you've been
married i've been
married for 13 years actually my uh my anniversary is uh in a week from now 13
years yes yes yeah
how old are you i'm 33. i got married when i was 20. yeah actually this would
make a nice gift for the
wife if you don't mind by all means help yourself that saves me a trip did were
you like a college
sweethearts that kind of thing yeah yeah i dropped out of college but she was
in college and we were
sweethearts and it's all worked out very well yeah yeah yeah we wanted to get
married we have a couple
of kids the whole thing father's day i got a nice spoon painted up it was uh
and and do they like the
man show uh the kid well the kids don't watch the man show because it's it's
filthy but um
but my wife doesn't like it either oh so then you have the yeah so you got that
that's a cool thing
all right so you're beginning your uh third season uh sunday july uh first good
to see you again thank
you and maybe we'll have you back if it's not too much that would be fantastic
all right