Name: Fun At The Late Show Christmas Party | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2025-12-17T17:37:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fun At The Late Show Christmas Party | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-12-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fun At The Late Show Christmas Party | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-12-17. Transcript available.

Friday was our big late show Christmas party at Woolman Rink here, home footage
of the Christmas
party. Take a look, ladies and gentlemen. Everybody had a lovely time. There's
the buffet, pretty much
just leftovers from last year. That's Rosemary Keenan and your lovely boy,
Tyler. There's Rupert
G after about eight cups of eggnog. There's our executive producer, Rob Burnett,
and his beautiful
young daughter, Sydney. Hi, kids. There's Rupert again after a couple of more
eggnogs. Legendary
musician Art Garfunkel dropped by. There's esteemed newsman Dan Rather. And
finally, Paul
Schaefer and myself enjoyed a lovely skater. And Paul is here. Happy holidays
to you. Happy
holidays to everybody in the band. And everybody at home. And Alan Coulter,
happy Merry Christmas.
Is Alan, uh, he's, where, where does he go now? Where is, have you seen? I'm
not sure
exactly. Alan? Have anybody seen? Alan, where is our, Alan Coulter? Where are
you, sir? Oh,
Alan? Hey, hey, DL, what's happening? No, I know that. Excuse me, Alan, I'm
sorry, what
are you doing? Well, what does it look like? I'm enjoying the late show
Christmas party. That's
great, you know? But, uh, that's great, but, you know, one, we're, we're right
in the middle
of, of the show. And two, I, I don't recall being invited to the late show
Christmas party.
Well, that's why we're calling it a party. Hey, yo. Yeah. Whoa. I gotta go,
Danny. I gotta go. Wow.
That is great. I love it. I love it. Ha, ha. Well, I mean, it, it did seem like
a lot of fun.
Yeah. Uh, the category tonight, uh, top 10 things overheard at the late show
Christmas party, which we
had last night right here in the, uh, Ed Sullivan Theater. Were you here, Paul?
Yes, I was. Were you
here? Yeah, I was here. All right. I waited a long time. I thought it was nice.
I waited a long time
for you. Yeah, I came down the second part of it. I came, I had things to do up
in the office,
then I came down for the second part of it. Second half. Yeah, second half. All
right.
The second part was the same as the first part. I don't want you to think that
you missed something.
You, you, you arrive at a party around the same time Britney Spears arrives,
like 4 a.m. or
No, no. I arrived exactly halfway through the party. If you say so. I have no
way of knowing,
because I couldn't wait. All right. Fine. Uh, top 10 things overheard at the
late show Christmas
party. Here we go. Number 10. Can we go now? Number nine. Attention, please
wash your paper plates
and return them to the supply closet. Number eight. Can we go now? Number seven.
Okay. That comes to
$17 a person. Number six. Hey, it's 1130. Turn on Leno. Number five. Is it okay
to take Lipitor with
whiskey? Number four. For the love of God, can we go now? Number three.
Christmas party. Sorry,
Mr. Philbin. Don't know anything about a Christmas party. Number two. You want
to throw in five bucks
for the intern fight and the number one thing overheard at the late show
Christmas party. Why is
Letterman here? There you go. Hey, you know what we did last night? We had the
party. Were you at the
party last night? Well, yes, of course I was there. Uh, do we have the videotape
of the party? Take a look at
this role. This was last night at the big late show. There's Sue Hum and, uh,
beloved Biff. And you know,
attendance is mandatory. Come on, get in there. Um, here's, this is my, there's
Harry, my son. Oh,
what a dear little boy. Every, oh, what a kid. This is Todd, our friend Todd.
He's eating,
good Lord, he's eating tinsel. Why? Now for the Jewish, uh, staff members, they
have a little party
down by the boiler room. And there's Joe Grossman. He's, uh, at the party. He
brought to Sherman,
the sneezing monkey. There he is. Oh, look, there's Alan. He's, uh, what a guy
standing under the
mistletoe. And it turned out to be poisoned sumac. Now look, the Christmas tree
becomes self-aware
and kills Shecky. Look at that. Wow. It was horrible. There I am having a big
time. I was at the
party laughing it up. Again, that was the late show Christmas party. Uh, we had
the late show,
uh, party the other night. And, uh, there's some, uh, exciting. I remember one
thing odd happened.
Biff came up to me about halfway through the party. Uh, you know, Hey, Biff,
how you doing?
I wanted to say something to you for a long time. Okay. I hate you. I've always
hated you.
And I'm not the only one. The staff, the crew, the guests, even the audience.
You make everybody sick. You know, Biff, there's no booze in that eggnog.
How about those decorations? Did you see those decorations at the party? That
was a blue chip
affair, wasn't it? Look at that. B.S. 48. Uh, I think what I'm going to do now
is tell a holiday
story because it is the holidays. And it happened just about this time of year,
many, many years ago
when Paul and I did this show at NBC. Paul and I, before we came here to CBS,
had this kind of similar
show at NBC. Yes. And, uh, I don't know if you read what happened, but they
caught, they caught Paul
stealing and, uh, um, they caught him stealing typing paper. To give you an
idea how, how long ago that
was. Long ago that was. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, and some white out. Was it white out as
well? There was some white
out involved, sir. Yeah. And so I said, I said, if Paul goes, I go. And then,
uh, uh, CBS, you know,
the bottom feeders that they are, they picked us up and, and here we are. Yeah.
I'll never forget
you. I'll never forget you for that. Well, God bless you. I love you, David
Letterman. I love you,
David Letterman. I love you, Paul Schaefer. Thank you. You're stuck by a man.
You're stuck by a man.
So every year, this time of year, we would have a big, a big holiday, uh, late
night. It was then
late night with me. Right. We'd have the big late night staff party. And it was
a, it was a huge
thing. And a lot of people came to it and we found that, uh, it started out
sort of small
and then progressively got larger and larger. And over the years, in addition
to getting bigger
and bigger, it started to get weird. I mean, really weird. I mean, you would,
you would see
staff members under tables making out and, and combinations that I can't even
begin to describe
you. Just as weird as you can imagine. Yeah. And, and it was the, the booze
that we were serving,
you know, everybody was just gooned on whatever it was they were drinking and
the fact that it was
indoors and there was no way to burn the, the alcohol off. Sure. Sure. So this,
uh, the last
time we had the big, uh, late night staff party indoors, here's what happened.
It was about 10 o'clock,
10:30 and, and guess who dropped by? Tom Brokaw. Yeah. God bless Tom Brokaw and
his lovely wife,
Meredith came by. They didn't need to come by. They don't need us. We're like
gum on their shoe,
honestly. They, they got important things to do. You know, they hang around
with the real people of
the world, but they said, okay, let's go over and toss some crumbs Dave's way.
So they show up and, and, uh, sadly, uh, at about 10:30, everybody really,
really was, uh, in very
serious trouble. Alcohol poisoning is, uh, and we, we used to have a stagehand
crew that was just
wonderful and guys that had been in the business for, forever and ever and, and
a close knit group of
guys and, uh, really old time stagehand guys and, and a hard working and dear
sweet guys. You wouldn't
know a better group of guys than our old stagehands. Oh yeah. And, uh, one of
them's name was Al Marr.
Yes. And, and Al was, uh, just a tremendous guy and he had been around forever
and knew everybody
and knew everything and was, uh, but Al really enjoyed drinking. Yeah.
So he had come to the party and we're all having fun and nobody's really paying
any attention and we're
checking to see if to, you know, who's under the table this year and all of
that. Uh, and before we
know it, uh, Al has worked his way over to where, uh, Tom broke on his wife
Meredith. They're standing
around chatting amiably with other staff members and, you know, Al's like this.
And he's very polite.
He kind of waits his turn for a pause in the conversation and Tom stops talking
and he looks
over to Al and Al says, "Why don't you go yourself?"
And so,
thank you. A little something for the holidays.
And so ever since then we would have the big Christmas party outdoors where you
could go ice
skating or something like that. That's how that started.
I'll never forget Al's the stagehand buddies carrying him down the steps.
That's how that started.
Good night, Al. Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Thanks for stopping by. I've just been handed a note here from the producer. Uh,
she always
likes to remind me whenever I tell the Al Marr, uh, Christmas story that in, in
every, uh, studio
or a theater, uh, anywhere, the production television, they have a slop sink
backstage.
And she's just reminded me that one time Al took a leak in the slop sink.
Thank you.