Name: The Blizzard of 1996 | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2026-01-26T16:00:44.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Blizzard of 1996 | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Blizzard of 1996 | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-26. Transcript available.

And now, a man who's in a permanent state of emergency, David Letterman!
There you are, thank you very much, thank you!
Thank you very much, happy new year!
Thank you very much!
Thank you!
Bye-bye!
Thank you!
How are you?
Thank you very much!
Very nice of you!
All right, and knock it out!
Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.
My name is Dave Letterman.
Welcome to The Late Show.
I have an announcement before we begin the program here tonight.
I have an announcement.
The Global Warming Seminar has been canceled.
You know, folks, if you're looking at the program thinking, well, something
just doesn't sound quite usual.
We don't have our normal studio audience of about 500 people here tonight, but
we have 90 or so very brave, very dedicated.
Thanks.
Very nice of you.
Do me a favor, say hello to our good friend Paul Schaefer is with us!
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
All righty, see you.
Knock it up.
Okay.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
How you doing?
How you doing?
Good.
All righty, see you.
Knock it up.
Okay.
All righty, see you.
Knock it up.
All right.
What's your name, sir?
Tim Grimm.
Tim, where are you from?
Fort Laramie, Ohio.
Fort Laramie, Ohio?
What are you doing in New York City, sir?
You're stuck, aren't you?
We came for you.
We came before the snow.
And you can't get out now, can you?
Maybe not.
What is life like in Fort Laramie?
It's subtle.
It's subtle.
Yeah.
But you enjoy yourself there.
What do you do for a living?
I'm a financial planner.
Well, you're certainly dressed for it.
I'd turn my portfolio into a living.
I'm a financial planner.
Well, you're certainly dressed for it.
I'd turn my portfolio over to you like that.
You know what we'd like you to do for us tonight?
Because you know what this is?
This is not just a snowfall.
I don't know if you get this kind of thing in Ohio.
This is not just a snowfall.
You know what this is, don't you, Tim?
No, I don't.
It's the blizzard of '96.
It's the blizzard of '96.
Trying to get a little more excited about that.
It's not just a snowfall.
What is it, Tim?
It's the blizzard of '96.
Yes, it's the blizzard of '96.
We would like, if you can, be our correspondent.
Ever done any broadcasting, any communications?
You ever seen TV?
You know TV.
Yeah.
All right, we'd like you to be our correspondent.
Go out and cover the storm for us.
So we'll give you everything you need.
Where's all this stuff here for Tim?
We're going to load you up with stuff,
and then you go out there.
And we want you to, you know, check in on the...
Try and use that phrase as often as possible.
Get some interviews.
People stuck in the snow.
People know where to go.
People digging out.
Find out how much snowfall we have.
What's it look like for tomorrow?
That kind of thing.
Can you handle it?
Yes, absolutely.
All right, let me get this stuff for you.
Stay right there.
Don't slip on this artificial snow.
It's a good way to break your artificial hip.
All right.
Well, let's see.
I thought we...
Yeah, we have some things for you.
We have some yardsticks.
Here it is.
Oh, great.
Excellent.
Okay.
Here we go.
Here's your own CBS microphone.
Hang on to that.
By the way, ladies and gentlemen, the Ed Sullivan Theater is available for
private parties.
All right.
Slip into that, Tim.
Do you mind?
You slip into that later.
Here's like a couple of measuring sticks.
You go out there.
We want an exact count of how high that snow is.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, wherever you want to.
And just bring us the flavor.
Bring us the excitement.
Bring us the color.
What do you have here, sir?
That's what?
Cocoa.
Some cocoa there for you.
And some cognac.
Oh, this job's getting better and better, isn't it?
Yeah.
All right.
You just go back out through there, and then we'll check in from your time to
time.
And you report on, what is it now?
The blizzard of '96.
That's right.
There we go, Tim.
Good luck.
Enjoy yourself.
We're going to respond first.
We went on the air about two and a half years ago, and we have, like I
mentioned earlier,
four and a half, 500, 450, 500 seats here in the Ed Sullivan Theater.
And people have tickets, and they've sent in for these tickets like a year in
advance.
I don't know what the waiting line is.
Anyway, they come and they show up.
Now, in addition to these people who have the tickets, every night gathered
outside the
Ed Sullivan Theater, we have what we call the standby audience.
Euphemistically referred to as the standby audience.
And they never get a chance to get in.
And so I was thinking, because the weather is so lousy out there, right, Paul?
Yeah.
It's so cold.
After all, it is the blizzard of '96.
If not tonight, when are we going to let the standby audience come in?
Do you folks mind if we let the standby audience come in?
Because you are the priority ticket holders.
It's up to you.
If you don't want them to come in, they don't have to come in.
All right, that's very nice of you.
We're going to let in the standby audience.
Are they right over here?
All right, here.
Let me just go over there.
I'll open up the door.
Paul, get ready a little standby audience entering music, if you will.
Oh, are they out here?
Stand by audience.
All right.
It's the blizzard of '96.
We have to do a commercial.
But we're right back, Paul.
It's nice to see you.
All right.
It's the blizzard of '96.
We have to do a commercial.
But we're right back, Paul.
It's nice to see you.
All right.
It's the blizzard of '96.
We have to do a commercial.
But we're right back, Paul.
It's nice to see you.
All right.
All right.
It's the blizzard of '96.
We have to do a commercial.
We'll be right back, Paul.
It's nice to see you.
All right.
It's the blizzard of '96.
We have to do a commercial.
We'll be right back, Paul.
It's the blizzard of '96.
We have to do a commercial.
We'll be right back, Paul.
It's nice to see you.
Hey!
How are you?
Nice to see you.
Welcome.
Take care of this.
You forgot to de-ice your lens, rookie.
Here, let me take care of that for you.
Let's give me...
Maybe just...
There you go.
There.
Get that off for you.
Get that off for you.
How's that?
That's better?
That's perfect.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the blizzard of '96.
Sam Neill is on this program.
Norm MacDonald and Itzhak Perlman.
Paul!
Yeah.
Did you have trouble getting to work today?
Yeah, a little.
You saw it.
I kind of hurt my back.
You know, I'm going to tell you something.
I was watching yesterday on television around noon.
The television station is here in New York City.
Everybody went live to cover the big storm.
And you could tell that these weather guys really, really wanted this to be
something.
Yeah.
They wanted...
They're talking about it could be the highest snowfall in the history of man.
And I'm, of course, thinking, no, you're wrong.
You're always wrong.
You're always wrong.
I'm not going to go in.
I'm not going to go in.
And finally, I said, well, even if they're half right, you know, even if they're
half right,
the reports I was getting, if they were only half right, we were still going to
get four feet of snow.
How much did we end up getting?
What was the final snowfall here in New York City?
20.1.
20.1 inches?
So that's not a record, is it?
No, like in 1947, they had 26 inches.
There you go.
Well, the night's still young.
Perhaps we'll get another half foot.
If you're just joining us, ladies and gentlemen, we thought it'd be great fun
and give you the feel of the blizzard 96 by putting this fake snow everywhere.
Look at that.
Look at that.
Oh, man.
That'd make you freeze just looking at it.
Ooh.
Look, all fake snow.
Ooh.
Oh, my God.
Ooh, it's cold.
I like this, you know, two or three days later when you're coughing that out of
your lungs.
That's nice.
Yeah.
And we have a gentleman from somewhere in Ohio by the name of Tim.
He is now our eye to the big blizzard of 1996.
Let's turn on the camera and see if we can't find Tim somewhere out on the
streets of Maine.
There he is right there.
Hey, Tim, how's it going?
It's cold at the blizzard of 96.
Yeah.
It, uh, he kind of sticks out like a sore thumb there, don't he?
Nice.
Tim, what have you learned about the big blizzard?
Uh, anything?
Uh, I realized that I needed gloves.
Yeah.
Anything about the snowfall?
Uh, it's dissipated now.
Uh, it's still pretty.
Answering the question, has he opened the cognac?
Uh, Tim, do me a favor, uh, why don't you take one of those, uh, measuring
sticks there
and stick it into a drift and see if he can't give us a total, okay?
Before it dissipates all together.
Here we go.
Wow, look at that.
Look at that.
I'm looking at about 29 inches, Dave.
29 inches!
Every time they go to this one guy, it's like Channel 7 or something.
And it's like, uh, uh, what's his name?
Uh, Sam Champion.
I saw him, yeah.
Sam Champion.
Like, that's a real guy's name?
Yeah.
That's a real Sam Champion.
You, you've met Ken and Barbie's friends, Sam Champion, haven't you?
And, and the guy was like an hysterical twit.
Run for your lives!
We're gonna get nine feet of snow!
Now, I'm told here on the line we have, uh, live from Washington D.C. at the,
uh, National Weather Center, James Earl Jones, is that right?
Giving us now a list of alternative names for the Blizzard of '96.
Officially now, it is the Blizzard of '96.
James Earl Jones, listen carefully.
Good evening.
This is James Earl Jones from the National Weather Service in Washington D.C.
The following are alternative names for the Blizzard of '96.
Exactly.
Alternative names.
El Blizzardo Loco.
Sky Chowder.
Snow Monji.
Oh, Snow Monji.
Today a bunch of white crap fell out of the sky.
Wally.
Hootie and the Snowfish.
Yeah, well, that's a good one.
That is all.
Stop calling me.
All right, fine.
Kind of an attitude trouble.
This little bit here answering the questions, did the writers make it to work?
No.
No, they didn't.
No, they didn't.
Ladies and gentlemen, here in my right hand, I have a copy of tonight's top ten
list for Blizzard of '96.
They all wanted it to be really, really bad so that they could go home proud
like they had a hand in it, you know?
Of course.
Yeah, sure, I was the weatherman on duty when we had that Blizzard of '96.
Like they're gonna get chicks, you know?
Remember the big snowfall?
I was right there.
I called it right on the button.
Ladies and gentlemen, the top ten category tonight from the Home Office in
Grand Rapids, Michigan,
it's a good win.
Top ten Blizzard of 1996 safety tips.
Blizzard of '96 safety tips.
And now, here to present tonight's top ten list,
the CBS weatherman from Good Morning This...
What do I call it?
The weatherman from CBS This Morning, Mark McEwen.
Mark, come on out and...
We're gonna get 18 feet of snow!
18 feet!
What was the final count, Mark?
20.1 inches, Dave.
Not a record, is it?
Not a... third.
We came in third.
So this... is this really then the blizzard of the century?
It's early, Dave.
I mean, we might have another snowfall.
They named it too fast.
But it's not early in the century.
No, no.
But so far it stacks up as number three.
I'd say it's the blizzard of the '90s.
Oh, well.
The category tonight, from the home office in Grand Rapids, Michigan,
top ten of Blizzard of '96 safety tips.
Here we go.
Number ten.
Eat plenty of rock salt.
That's right.
Number nine.
Fill your snowblower with jet fuel and ride the bastard to Palm Beach.
Did they let you talk that way on the morning show?
Only very early, Dave.
All right.
Number eight.
Clear snow off driveway with just one scalding hot cup of McDonald's coffee.
Yeah.
Number seven.
Two words, Dave.
Duraflame underpants.
Yeah.
Now we're getting somewhere.
Number six.
Always have plenty of kindling.
Like the late show book of top ten lists, only $16 at bookstores everywhere.
Boy, that's a lovely idea.
Oh, there's mom.
Throwing another book on the...
There she is.
Number five.
Drink a jug of antifreeze, crawl under the couch, and sleep till July.
That's right.
Number four.
No matter how bad the Blizzard, don't let yourself get talked into doing lame
comedy segments.
Number three.
For current weather updates, call Al Roker at home at 212-975-6401.
Excellent advice.
Wow.
Get him out of there.
Get that.
Number two.
If you absolutely must go out and kill people, wear a warm black cap and isotoner
gloves.
Yeah.
And the number one, Blizzard of '96, safety tip.
Flannel condoms from L.L.Beans.
Yeah.
There you go.
Hey, guys.
Thank you very much.
Mark McCune, ladies and gentlemen.
Mark McCune, here.
Mark McCune, here.
Thank you.
Anton.
Ready?
Ready, Anton?
Now, careful.
Here we go.
Cover yourself.
Yeah.
Here we go.
Look out.
One more.
One more.
Look out.
Go.
Let me try for a cymbal, all right?
You drum roll, I'll heave.
The blizzard of '96.
You know, it occurred to me, we got 20 inches of snow on the ground, which is
not a record.
But if I add about six inches of this fake snow.
Then you got something.
Then we got us a record.
Yeah.
I'm just going to take a second here seriously, if I can, to thank you people
for showing up
in these unbelievably horrifying.
And I'll tell you.
I'll tell you, the reason that I came to New York City today to do a show, and
it wasn't
easy for me, and I know you don't like to hear me complain, and I rarely
complain.
Right.
But the commute for me this morning, and you know I live in Newfoundland, so it
was...
But the reason I came in this morning was I said to myself, Dave, you've got to
go to
work because if there is one person in the Ed Sullivan Theater, damn it, I have
to show
up and put on a program for those people.
And that's...
And I know everybody in television feels that same way.
On the line here now, ladies and gentlemen, do me a favor.
Please say hello to our good friend, host of his own show every morning, all
across the
country, live with Regis and Kathie Lee, Regis Philbin.
Hi, Regis Philbin.
Hi, Regis.
Hi, Dave.
How you doing?
Regis, I was just telling the audience how important it is for people like
myself and
people like you and Kathie Lee, regardless of the circumstances.
I don't care if we have 100 feet of snowfall to put on a show because that's
what the audience
expects.
Well, we didn't make it today.
Kathie Lee was there, but I...
I was...
I was...
I was...
I was...
I don't care if we have 100 feet of snowfall to put on a show because that's
what the audience
expects.
Well, we didn't make it today.
Kathie Lee was there, but I...
I, uh...
I was told the show was canceled at 7:15 in the morning, so I stayed in bed.
So...
So, Regis, you...
You didn't do a show this morning.
No, I didn't do a show.
And listen, incidentally, Dave, I'm sitting here waiting for my mail to be
delivered.
Did you get any mail today?
I didn't do a show this morning.
No, I didn't do a show.
And listen, incidentally, Dave, I'm sitting here waiting for my mail to be
delivered.
Did you get any mail today?
No, I didn't do a show.
No, I didn't do a show.
And listen, incidentally, Dave, I'm sitting here waiting for my mail to be
delivered.
You didn't do a show this morning.
No, I didn't do a show.
And listen, incidentally, I'm sitting here waiting for my mail to be delivered.
Did you get any mail today?
Regis, all I care about is doing a show to hell with the mail.
Sitting at home, getting his nails done, waiting for the mail.
No, sir!
All right, one more here.
How are we doing on time?
We running a little late?
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Let's go back to the streets of New York.
Tim Barnhorst from Ohio, our correspondent for Blizzard.
Tim, how are you doing, buddy?
I'm good, Dave.
How are you holding up out there in the Blizzard of 96?
Your people are really taking care of me.
They got me some gloves, some beverage.
Now, listen, Tim, I want you to do me a favor if you can.
In these little reports, pass along some advice regarding shoveling snow.
Because this is the time of year.
This is the season when it can be a real problem.
So when you're shoveling snow, when you're out there shoveling your walk and
your drive,
take it from me.
Please, please, please, don't overdo it.
All right, Tim, I understand you have a pedestrian lined up for an interview
there.
Yes, I do, Dave.
All right, go nuts.
Tell us who it is.
What's up?
Dave, I'm here with...
Judy Colley.
And you're from...
Greensboro, North Carolina.
And would you like to warm up with me with some cognac?
Oh, God.
Thank you very much, Tim.
Thank you very much, Tim.
And Judy, Judy, you still out there, Judy?
You know, Judy, when it comes to cognac, don't overdo it.
Hi, Dave.
My thanks also to Sam Neill and her correspondent from Ohio out on the street,
Tim Barnhorst.
Barhorst, I'm sorry.
Now, we're told that Norm MacDonald, because of the storm, he's snowed in and
could not be here tonight.
So when Norm gets himself dug out, we'll have him on the show at his earliest
possible convenience.
But Norm MacDonald, apparently a victim of the storm of 1996.
Tomorrow, ladies and gentlemen, Pauly Shore will be here for the entire hour.
How is it Pauly Shore gets through and Norm MacDonald is snowed in in the green
room?
I don't know.
Do me a favor now, now stay tuned for Tom Snyder on the Late Late Show.
And by the way, today is Tom's first anniversary of being on the air here at
CBS with the Late Late Show.
Congratulations to Tom and his entire staff.
We'll see you tomorrow night.
Enjoy the snow.
Good night, everybody.
Good night.

The Blizzard of 1996 | David Letterman

And now, a man who's in a permanent state of emergency, David Letterman!
There you are, thank you very much, thank you!
Thank you very much, happy new year!
Thank you very much!
Thank you!
Bye-bye!
Thank you!
How are you?
Thank you very much!
Very nice of you!
All right, and knock it out!
Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.
My name is Dave Letterman.
Welcome to The Late Show.
I have an announcement before we begin the program here tonight.
I have an announcement.
The Global Warming Seminar has been canceled.
You know, folks, if you're looking at the program thinking, well, something
just doesn't sound quite usual.
We don't have our normal studio audience of about 500 people here tonight, but
we have 90 or so very brave, very dedicated.
Thanks.
Very nice of you.
Do me a favor, say hello to our good friend Paul Schaefer is with us!
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
All righty, see you.
Knock it up.
Okay.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming.
Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
How you doing?
How you doing?
Good.
All righty, see you.
Knock it up.
Okay.
All righty, see you.
Knock it up.
All right.
What's your name, sir?
Tim Grimm.
Tim, where are you from?
Fort Laramie, Ohio.
Fort Laramie, Ohio?
What are you doing in New York City, sir?
You're stuck, aren't you?
We came for you.
We came before the snow.
And you can't get out now, can you?
Maybe not.
What is life like in Fort Laramie?
It's subtle.
It's subtle.
Yeah.
But you enjoy yourself there.
What do you do for a living?
I'm a financial planner.
Well, you're certainly dressed for it.
I'd turn my portfolio into a living.
I'm a financial planner.
Well, you're certainly dressed for it.
I'd turn my portfolio over to you like that.
You know what we'd like you to do for us tonight?
Because you know what this is?
This is not just a snowfall.
I don't know if you get this kind of thing in Ohio.
This is not just a snowfall.
You know what this is, don't you, Tim?
No, I don't.
It's the blizzard of '96.
It's the blizzard of '96.
Trying to get a little more excited about that.
It's not just a snowfall.
What is it, Tim?
It's the blizzard of '96.
Yes, it's the blizzard of '96.
We would like, if you can, be our correspondent.
Ever done any broadcasting, any communications?
You ever seen TV?
You know TV.
Yeah.
All right, we'd like you to be our correspondent.
Go out and cover the storm for us.
So we'll give you everything you need.
Where's all this stuff here for Tim?
We're going to load you up with stuff,
and then you go out there.
And we want you to, you know, check in on the...
Try and use that phrase as often as possible.
Get some interviews.
People stuck in the snow.
People know where to go.
People digging out.
Find out how much snowfall we have.
What's it look like for tomorrow?
That kind of thing.
Can you handle it?
Yes, absolutely.
All right, let me get this stuff for you.
Stay right there.
Don't slip on this artificial snow.
It's a good way to break your artificial hip.
All right.
Well, let's see.
I thought we...
Yeah, we have some things for you.
We have some yardsticks.
Here it is.
Oh, great.
Excellent.
Okay.
Here we go.
Here's your own CBS microphone.
Hang on to that.
By the way, ladies and gentlemen, the Ed Sullivan Theater is available for
private parties.
All right.
Slip into that, Tim.
Do you mind?
You slip into that later.
Here's like a couple of measuring sticks.
You go out there.
We want an exact count of how high that snow is.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, wherever you want to.
And just bring us the flavor.
Bring us the excitement.
Bring us the color.
What do you have here, sir?
That's what?
Cocoa.
Some cocoa there for you.
And some cognac.
Oh, this job's getting better and better, isn't it?
Yeah.
All right.
You just go back out through there, and then we'll check in from your time to
time.
And you report on, what is it now?
The blizzard of '96.
That's right.
There we go, Tim.
Good luck.
Enjoy yourself.
We're going to respond first.
We went on the air about two and a half years ago, and we have, like I
mentioned earlier,
four and a half, 500, 450, 500 seats here in the Ed Sullivan Theater.
And people have tickets, and they've sent in for these tickets like a year in
advance.
I don't know what the waiting line is.
Anyway, they come and they show up.
Now, in addition to these people who have the tickets, every night gathered
outside the
Ed Sullivan Theater, we have what we call the standby audience.
Euphemistically referred to as the standby audience.
And they never get a chance to get in.
And so I was thinking, because the weather is so lousy out there, right, Paul?
Yeah.
It's so cold.
After all, it is the blizzard of '96.
If not tonight, when are we going to let the standby audience come in?
Do you folks mind if we let the standby audience come in?
Because you are the priority ticket holders.
It's up to you.
If you don't want them to come in, they don't have to come in.
All right, that's very nice of you.
We're going to let in the standby audience.
Are they right over here?
All right, here.
Let me just go over there.
I'll open up the door.
Paul, get ready a little standby audience entering music, if you will.
Oh, are they out here?
Stand by audience.
All right.
It's the blizzard of '96.
We have to do a commercial.
But we're right back, Paul.
It's nice to see you.
All right.
It's the blizzard of '96.
We have to do a commercial.
But we're right back, Paul.
It's nice to see you.
All right.
It's the blizzard of '96.
We have to do a commercial.
But we're right back, Paul.
It's nice to see you.
All right.
All right.
It's the blizzard of '96.
We have to do a commercial.
We'll be right back, Paul.
It's nice to see you.
All right.
It's the blizzard of '96.
We have to do a commercial.
We'll be right back, Paul.
It's the blizzard of '96.
We have to do a commercial.
We'll be right back, Paul.
It's nice to see you.
Hey!
How are you?
Nice to see you.
Welcome.
Take care of this.
You forgot to de-ice your lens, rookie.
Here, let me take care of that for you.
Let's give me...
Maybe just...
There you go.
There.
Get that off for you.
Get that off for you.
How's that?
That's better?
That's perfect.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the blizzard of '96.
Sam Neill is on this program.
Norm MacDonald and Itzhak Perlman.
Paul!
Yeah.
Did you have trouble getting to work today?
Yeah, a little.
You saw it.
I kind of hurt my back.
You know, I'm going to tell you something.
I was watching yesterday on television around noon.
The television station is here in New York City.
Everybody went live to cover the big storm.
And you could tell that these weather guys really, really wanted this to be
something.
Yeah.
They wanted...
They're talking about it could be the highest snowfall in the history of man.
And I'm, of course, thinking, no, you're wrong.
You're always wrong.
You're always wrong.
I'm not going to go in.
I'm not going to go in.
And finally, I said, well, even if they're half right, you know, even if they're
half right,
the reports I was getting, if they were only half right, we were still going to
get four feet of snow.
How much did we end up getting?
What was the final snowfall here in New York City?
20.1.
20.1 inches?
So that's not a record, is it?
No, like in 1947, they had 26 inches.
There you go.
Well, the night's still young.
Perhaps we'll get another half foot.
If you're just joining us, ladies and gentlemen, we thought it'd be great fun
and give you the feel of the blizzard 96 by putting this fake snow everywhere.
Look at that.
Look at that.
Oh, man.
That'd make you freeze just looking at it.
Ooh.
Look, all fake snow.
Ooh.
Oh, my God.
Ooh, it's cold.
I like this, you know, two or three days later when you're coughing that out of
your lungs.
That's nice.
Yeah.
And we have a gentleman from somewhere in Ohio by the name of Tim.
He is now our eye to the big blizzard of 1996.
Let's turn on the camera and see if we can't find Tim somewhere out on the
streets of Maine.
There he is right there.
Hey, Tim, how's it going?
It's cold at the blizzard of 96.
Yeah.
It, uh, he kind of sticks out like a sore thumb there, don't he?
Nice.
Tim, what have you learned about the big blizzard?
Uh, anything?
Uh, I realized that I needed gloves.
Yeah.
Anything about the snowfall?
Uh, it's dissipated now.
Uh, it's still pretty.
Answering the question, has he opened the cognac?
Uh, Tim, do me a favor, uh, why don't you take one of those, uh, measuring
sticks there
and stick it into a drift and see if he can't give us a total, okay?
Before it dissipates all together.
Here we go.
Wow, look at that.
Look at that.
I'm looking at about 29 inches, Dave.
29 inches!
Every time they go to this one guy, it's like Channel 7 or something.
And it's like, uh, uh, what's his name?
Uh, Sam Champion.
I saw him, yeah.
Sam Champion.
Like, that's a real guy's name?
Yeah.
That's a real Sam Champion.
You, you've met Ken and Barbie's friends, Sam Champion, haven't you?
And, and the guy was like an hysterical twit.
Run for your lives!
We're gonna get nine feet of snow!
Now, I'm told here on the line we have, uh, live from Washington D.C. at the,
uh, National Weather Center, James Earl Jones, is that right?
Giving us now a list of alternative names for the Blizzard of '96.
Officially now, it is the Blizzard of '96.
James Earl Jones, listen carefully.
Good evening.
This is James Earl Jones from the National Weather Service in Washington D.C.
The following are alternative names for the Blizzard of '96.
Exactly.
Alternative names.
El Blizzardo Loco.
Sky Chowder.
Snow Monji.
Oh, Snow Monji.
Today a bunch of white crap fell out of the sky.
Wally.
Hootie and the Snowfish.
Yeah, well, that's a good one.
That is all.
Stop calling me.
All right, fine.
Kind of an attitude trouble.
This little bit here answering the questions, did the writers make it to work?
No.
No, they didn't.
No, they didn't.
Ladies and gentlemen, here in my right hand, I have a copy of tonight's top ten
list for Blizzard of '96.
They all wanted it to be really, really bad so that they could go home proud
like they had a hand in it, you know?
Of course.
Yeah, sure, I was the weatherman on duty when we had that Blizzard of '96.
Like they're gonna get chicks, you know?
Remember the big snowfall?
I was right there.
I called it right on the button.
Ladies and gentlemen, the top ten category tonight from the Home Office in
Grand Rapids, Michigan,
it's a good win.
Top ten Blizzard of 1996 safety tips.
Blizzard of '96 safety tips.
And now, here to present tonight's top ten list,
the CBS weatherman from Good Morning This...
What do I call it?
The weatherman from CBS This Morning, Mark McEwen.
Mark, come on out and...
We're gonna get 18 feet of snow!
18 feet!
What was the final count, Mark?
20.1 inches, Dave.
Not a record, is it?
Not a... third.
We came in third.
So this... is this really then the blizzard of the century?
It's early, Dave.
I mean, we might have another snowfall.
They named it too fast.
But it's not early in the century.
No, no.
But so far it stacks up as number three.
I'd say it's the blizzard of the '90s.
Oh, well.
The category tonight, from the home office in Grand Rapids, Michigan,
top ten of Blizz