Name: Catherine O'Hara Can't Fake An Orgasm | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2026-01-30T19:03:44.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Catherine O'Hara Can't Fake An Orgasm | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Catherine O'Hara Can't Fake An Orgasm | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-30. Transcript available.

You look very nice.
Oh, thank you.
Thanks for coming back.
I appreciate it.
Nice to see you again.
Thank you. It's fun.
It shows great.
I can't wait till we get it in Toronto.
Oh, that's right.
We're going to Canada soon.
Yeah.
Now, tell me about that dress.
What's the material there involved?
Animals.
No, it's...
Cows. I'm sorry.
It's leather, isn't it?
Yes, it is.
Yeah, it's very nice.
Is that...
Japanese leather.
The cows were massaged.
Really?
Yeah.
Well, you look...
This is what I was told.
You look very nice.
Really?
They actually said this is Japanese leather in the cows?
Yes, they massaged the cows to make it very soft.
What are you doing now that you're not on the program, are you?
No, I'm not.
No, that's too bad.
What have you been doing since?
I've been sleeping a lot and auditioning, learning how to audition and trying
to do that.
Now, when I said too bad, I mean it's too bad because we miss seeing your work
on the show.
That's what I meant.
Now, when you go out, it's hard for me to imagine you having to audition,
though, because that's
a pretty good audition, what we just saw.
Well, I'm not used to it because I got in Second City in 73.
That's the last time I really auditioned.
And since then, it's all been work that I'd get.
I'd either do Second City or somebody would ask for me from the show and I
wouldn't have
to audition.
But since I left the show, I've had to.
Actually, I got called to audition for a play off Broadway and they asked me to
audition
because they'd seen me on the show and they really liked me from that, but they
didn't
know whether I'd be able to do a play or not.
What was the play?
Can you say?
It's called Middle Ages.
Oh, I didn't get the part.
But they were so excited to see me there and they really went out of their way
to track
me down to get me to the audition because they liked me from the show and I
thought, why
don't they just give me the part then instead of making me audition?
But I got there and they were so grateful that I'd showed up and they kept
saying thank you,
thank you and talking about everything that I'd done on the show and they loved
me and then
I read for them and blew it.
Now, what went wrong there?
I don't know.
I just was not used to audition.
Auditioning seems really unnatural to me.
What did you have to do?
It was a great part.
It's a girl.
It's four people and they're two parents and two younger people.
It takes place in a country club.
And the two younger people go from the age of 14 to the age of 40.
And so I read two scenes, one where I was supposed to be in my 40s and one
where I was supposed
to be 14 and I was just so stiff and I wasn't used to being on a stage and
having to move
around and I was standing just straight for the whole audition.
At one point I thought, oh, I better move.
And I turned around, just moved right in a circle.
I had nowhere to go and just turned around and looked back at them and just the
worst.
So then somebody told me about this book called Audition, written by Michael Shirtcliff
and
I still don't know what I'm doing with auditions, but this book is great.
An actual manual to help you.
It's great.
It's the best.
What kind of things do they suggest?
Well, he has 12 guideposts.
I shouldn't even, I don't even know what to talk about.
Now, what do they say about circling on stage like you did?
Is that anything you want to?
Yeah, it should have got me the part.
It should have worked.
That was the thing that should have worked.
No, they have, he has these guideposts and they're relationships and you're
just supposed
to think about, you know, what you want from the other person and he says,
always think
that you love the other person rather than not liking them or loving them
because if you
go for something positive, that would give you so much more to work with and,
oh, I can't
even explain.
The thing that was great about the book for me, I still don't know how to use
it exactly
or how to audition, but it just gives you so much to think about that you
forget
about yourself for a while and, uh, so have you, have you had much luck since
the book?
Oh, no, I went and read for another film a couple of weeks ago and there was
nothing
in the book about what do you do if you show up and the leading man is there to
read with
you and you think he's cute.
Yeah, who was the, uh, I couldn't talk.
Who was the leading man?
I, I should, oh.
No, you, you can say, I mean.
Yeah, I guess I couldn't make any more a fool of myself than I did at the
audition.
It's Steve Martin, he did this, they're doing a film.
Well, that would, uh, that would certainly, uh, make you jittery, I would think.
Oh, yeah.
I thought I was really psyched up for it, I thought I prepared, but he was the,
I, I, Arthur
Hiller's director, it's called Lonely Guy, it's a great script, but it'll be a
funny movie.
And you, you, you know for a fact that you didn't get the part.
Oh, yeah, I know.
Oh, yes.
What nasty hussy did get it, do you have any idea?
I'm sure someone great who deserved it more than me.
No, you.
But I, I thought I did all right on the reading part.
I'm sure I didn't do well enough, but at least I wasn't too nervous about that,
but I just
couldn't handle the conversational part.
Arthur Hiller was so nice and he, I can't believe I'm telling you this, I hope
it's not watching.
I mean, the reading part, the actual script reading, you did okay.
Yeah, I did, well, I thought I did all right, at least better than I've ever
done.
And what's the other part?
It wasn't good enough for them, but, but the, just the chatting.
And they were so nice and they're being really funny and entertaining me and I
was just, huh.
And Arthur Hiller said, you're from Toronto, you know, I, I was in Toronto, I
went to school
in Toronto.
I go, oh, really?
I don't know, that's to me.
I gave nothing, I was just, I just sat there.
I don't know, that's what I, I would do that pretty much.
Anyway.
There was one, I'm sorry, there's one scene, I thought I did the reading okay,
so one scene
is all about an orgasm and, and he's, I shouldn't give away a scene, but he's
doing something
that isn't sexual, really, but it, it's turning her on and, and this whole
scene, you have
to keep having orgasms and, and I just couldn't, I mean, I thought, I could do
it.
This is a real movie, it's, you checked them out, it's a real movie.
I think everyone auditioned naked.
I wasn't the only one.
No, I, I, I, I just, the more I tried to do, you know, lines like, oh, stop, it's
too good,
it's too wonderful.
I just, all, I, I ended up sounding like my mother.
I couldn't, I couldn't be natural trying to have an orgasm with this actor and
these two
people.
And I was like, oh, stop, you're, oh, you're wonderful.
Catherine O'Hara obviously is here.
Last time you were on the program, we talked about you staying up all night.
You do that a lot, huh?
Yeah, a little too much.
I keep the same hours as other people, just, no, different hours.
I'll stay up till six in the morning and then sleep eight hours.
You'll sleep from six until, what time does that make it in the afternoon?
I don't know, you figure it out.
Had to be two, wouldn't it?
Six to noon is six and two is eight.
I get it.
Now that seems, though.
I'll believe you.
Now what do you do all night?
Is this, are you working or?
Yeah, I'm trying to write.
I, after auditioning for a lot of things about getting them and getting offered
things I
don't want, I decided I'll try to write something.
Maybe that's the only way I'll get something.
And I've been singing.
Singing?
Yeah.
I had a chance to do.
You had a record deal, right?
Yeah, I had a chance to do a record.
Actually, when they found out, it was supposed to be a comedy album.
And when they found out I was going to sing more than talk, they changed it to
a demo.
Now what is the...
Now I have a chance for a demo.
Now what does that mean?
You get it, what is...
Well, you put, I guess, four songs or whatever you want to do on a tape.
And they either buy the idea or they don't.
Oh, well, still and all.
Now, you said you've been offered things that you don't want any part of.
Now, what are some of those?
Oh, I shouldn't say.
Sure.
No, no, just some films or I had a...
No, mostly, actually, most of the offers are very open.
Like a chance to do a special or, you know, a TV special.
You don't want to do a TV special?
I guess, someday, but...
But not today.
Well, that sounds like a pretty good deal.
Don't you think?
Yeah.
I guess so.
What else?
Yeah, just things come up.
I guess on February, we did a fun thing that my brother had this party for
Valentine's.
He had one around Christmas and we got this orchestra together and a bunch of
singers and we did sort
of holiday songs at Christmas.
Then we did another one on Valentine's Day and it was all romance songs.
And John Candy emceed the evening.
It was at the Palais Royale, a big ballroom on the Lakeshore in Toronto where
my mom and
then at the first date and we sang love songs.
And John Candy hosted and Martin Short, who was in SCTV, sang Got the World on
a String
and Funny Valentine.
Is that the kind of singing you do yourself?
I guess, well, I love old love songs.
Yeah.
I did one that was a Marilyn Monroe song.
I've got my nerve.
And it was great.
The best part of it was the male backup on this song.
It's called Kiss and the guys will go, kiss me, hold me, kiss, love me, take me,
hold me.
Four guys in tuxedos did that for the whole song.
And then near the end, they go, this is the moment I'll thrill me.
And the girls, thrill me, thrill me.
Mmm, with your charms, take me, take me in your arms and make my life
perfection.
I'd buy this one.
It's a lovely song.
Very nice.
Thank you very much, Catherine.
Oh, thank you.
Appreciate you for coming back.
Catherine O'Hara, ladies and gentlemen.
We have to go away for station identification.
We'll be back to hand out more audience awards.