Name: Dave's Going To Be A Father! | David Letterman
Uploaded: 2026-02-06T16:01:14.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave's Going To Be A Father! | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-02-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave's Going To Be A Father! | David Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-02-06. Transcript available.

I have an announcement to make and I'll be honest with you I'm a little bit
nervous I have some trepidations about this it's a little I feel a little silly
because I it's one of those things where I never thought in my life this would
happen and here I am 56 and it by all rights it shouldn't be happening but
there's nothing we can do about it now and and I'm I'm terribly excited about
this I'm scared silly about this I'm going to be a father
yeah it'll be please all right the baby can come and live with you
ah but it'll be good because not only will I be the child's father I'll also
be the child's grandfather no no no no no no no how old your grandson pops and
and I
don't know anything about babies and I gotta find a place for it to stay and
and
and my it's my girlfriend is having the child Regina bless her heart and and
but I
just don't want one of those kids has always taken a dump in its pants you
know I don't know because I I'm too old for I'm too old for any of this but
especially that I don't know if there's any way around that one that's
wonderful
but I don't I don't I don't know if you've gone through this or maybe it's just
me being a ninny
but for the last six months I wake up every morning like this oh my god what
have I done I know what you
mean but I know what you mean I'm sure that'll pass of course it will and and
and if you look at it this
way at 56 by the time the child has trouble in life you know I'll be dead I'll
be long gone
so that's the bright side by the time the kids out stealing cars you know dad
will be dead a few
years that's the upside yeah that's right well congratulations well thank you
very much and I don't
know how long these things usually take but uh it looks to me like we're
getting close is there a day
we can't get through certain tunnels now I see oh really yeah that's great well
we better not try
that one well isn't that wonderful do you think so I think it's just wonderful
yeah I'm a father
of two it's just wonderful yeah we'll just see what happens if this doesn't
soften you up
nothing I don't know now wait a minute I can't see if anything what exactly do
you mean by that
oh no I'm just kidding you're a kid on this show oh that's right
congratulations oh and the other
thing I just mentioned this uh for the future in-laws uh the wedding is still
being discussed I see we're
still negotiating the wedding I wasn't gonna ask yeah I said okay I know
because I realized we kind
of got the cart before the horse well sometimes that you know but I'm just
seeing how much I can get
away with but I I can't do this forever and it'd be nice to have the kid take
over the family business
tonight David Letterman Jr. at his guests oh my god does that sound peculiar I
enjoyed uh your movie
it was like a lot of the music in the film wasn't there put that aside for one
second because I got
kids man I just want to say first to be the first to say congratulations oh
thank you very much thank
you I appreciate it yes yes yes no problem no problem life life is over as you
know it
you know I'm serious man I mean if you don't need to hear that kind of thing I'm
sorry during the show
the staff was nice enough to take up a collection for for the new baby nice
yeah so I'm going to open
this up this is from the entire staff can we get a shot of this this is from
the the baby Gap hey
that's very nice $15 that's lovely that thank you that's very nice of the staff
Golly.