Name: Leslie Nielsen gives a young Conan some sound advice (1993) Late Night Full Interview
Uploaded: 2019-03-19T21:53:20.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Leslie Nielsen gives a young Conan some sound advice (1993) Late Night Full Interview' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-03-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Leslie Nielsen gives a young Conan some sound advice (1993) Late Night Full Interview' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-03-19. Transcript available.

Well, my first guest has been in over 60 motion pictures, including the Poseidon
Adventure, remember?
Oh yeah, that's where the boat turned upside down and Shelley Winters swam.
Yes, that's what that movie was.
It's nicely condensed.
It's also in Airplane and the Naked Gun series.
And he's also recently taken up golf and has a new video called Bad Golf Made
Easier.
Please welcome Leslie Nielsen.
Oh, you're great.
That's wonderful.
Oh, yes, them, yes.
You're great too.
Thank you.
Oh, absolutely.
Well, thank you very much for coming on the show.
My pleasure.
I'm actually a fan of the Naked Gun pictures.
Thank you.
Renewing old acquaintances.
Remember back in Saturday Night Live?
Oh, that's right.
I was working there when you were there.
Yeah.
That's right.
Yeah.
I got you coffee.
You chewed me out.
You did not.
No, you did not.
I'm low maintenance.
No, I got you tea and you chewed me out.
Now, no, I'm...
Does he chew you out?
Sometimes.
Oh, okay.
I'm a very angry guy.
No, actually, I am a big fan of those pictures.
Because I love the way you play it so straight.
I love the way...
I guess the director told you,
It's not a comedy.
Act as though this is deadly serious.
The director, the thing is that we know that we're being funny,
but you can't let the audience know for one second
that you're trying to be funny.
Not for one second.
Although I will do almost anything I can for a laugh.
Mm-hmm.
I said almost.
I didn't say I would do anything for a laugh.
What have you got there?
Isn't that a little personal?
Do you like to see it?
That's what I have.
There it is right there.
What the hell are you doing?
What is the...
What is the...
Hold it.
Let's show this.
You heard the rude noises that it makes.
Yes, I did.
They're nothing but fun.
I got that from a man in Oklahoma City, Jack Martin.
He was a senior golf pro,
and one night he said,
Leslie, I'm going to give you something to change your life.
I did, too.
I've had nothing but laughs.
You don't carry this around everywhere.
I do not travel anywhere alone.
That goes with me all over.
You're a grown man.
What are you doing?
Don't be too sure of that.
No, really?
You bring this thing wherever you go?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
You never can tell.
It always comes in handy,
and you never can tell
when there's a certain amount of pomposity
or somebody who's making you play a particular role,
and if you just shake hands with somebody,
it's, how do you do?
Very nice to meet you.
You really have a tremendous grip.
It's a defense.
I'm working so hard,
so hard to establish my credibility,
and in three seconds.
This establishes credibility.
Now, have you,
now, you say you take this everywhere,
and I've actually heard that you do.
I didn't really think you'd take it out here tonight.
I was praying.
But you take this wherever you go.
Have you taken it anywhere
where you now think it may have been inappropriate?
Well, you're always taking a chance,
I'll tell you.
Where's the most serious place you took it?
Well, you know,
when you're doing any kind of comedy,
there's just no way that there's not going to come that time
when you step over the line,
but that's because of the chance you take,
and there's just going to be sometimes,
especially with this,
where you seem to step over the line,
and in that case, you know,
I say,
look,
I'm really playing
I've got a secret.
I know I'm doing like a kind of a practical joke,
so I'll apologize,
or I'll show the people.
Sometimes it doesn't work,
but then you have to
just rely on your insensitivity.
I have a seminar on
insensitivity,
if you like,
and I can bring you.
Yes, I would like to sign up for that.
For the insensitivity course?
Yes, I would.
There's a downside, you know.
What's that?
Sometimes you can be feeling good
and not know it.
I would go back to this thing.
Oh, you want to go back?
No, no.
But do women enjoy this joke?
I'm just curious.
I'll tell you one thing.
Like you're on a date,
and you do that,
and they immediately go,
here's the guy for me.
It's the greatest way to find out
whether a woman likes you or not.
For who you are.
Yeah.
To be accepted.
That's exactly it.
All right.
To be accepted for who you are.
Yeah.
You put,
that hits the nail on the head.
Well,
I want you to let Andy hold it
for the remainder of the show.
Okay.
Here you are, Andy.
All right.
Okay.
All right.
Got it here.
No squeeze it too hard.
All right.
All right.
And the naked gun pictures,
you're coming out with another one soon,
aren't you?
We're coming out with naked gun 33 and the third,
and naked gun 33 and the third,
the final insult.
And it'll be out on March the 19th,
and I swear,
I think it's as funny as the first two,
if not funnier.
All right.
Well,
we're going to have to step away for a second.
We'll come right back
and find out more about this,
and Andy will hold on
to your little machine of doom.
We'll be right back
with more Leslie Nielsen
in just a second.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh, my.
Back chatting with Leslie Nielsen.
Yes.
Enjoying yourself so far?
Hey, hey, fantastic.
What a great audience.
Yeah, terrific.
Yay!
Boy, boy.
Now, I did want to say,
I used to watch you a lot
growing up in Quinn Martin production.
No, I, in my late teens.
What are you saying?
No, no.
You played the heavy a lot on television.
You also played a lot of leading man roles
in movies.
I did maybe a thousand serious roles.
That's right.
And that's how I knew you
when I used to see you on TV
and that Leslie Nielsen,
I always knew you as the sinister fiend
or the heavy or the lead.
Now that you've done all these,
now that you've done all these,
you've done all these naked gun pictures,
you've been an airplane,
do you think you'll be able to play a serious role again?
I really doubt it.
You know, David Zucker.
My serious career is over.
Well, no, after the first Naked Gun,
David Zucker said,
Leslie Nielsen will never again be offered a serious role.
And he might be right about that,
but if that's the way the chips fall,
that's fine by me.
But if I want to be,
or do any kind of serious work,
I do the one-man play,
Darrell,
based on the life of Clarence Darrell,
and I can go back on stage and do that.
And one day I might do Willie Loman,
I don't know,
and Death of a Salesman,
but I don't have to prove anything to anybody.
And if I do want to do serious work,
serious, serious acting Darrell,
I can go back on stage and do it.
But I love doing the comedy.
Yeah, you seem to,
it must be a lot of fun to make these movies.
It is just nothing but fun.
And, you know,
right now for me at my age
and at this stage in my career
to end up,
and I'm really doing the very thing that I love.
I always, you know.
Did you always all along,
this is what you wanted to be doing?
No, I never knew it.
Yeah.
You know,
those things where you get to it
and you're finally doing it,
you say,
and I did this very thing
in the trailer
when we were shooting one time,
and I said,
Leslie,
do you know that you're doing
what you really want to do?
That this is what you love to do?
This comedy?
Do you know that?
And it dawned on me.
That was it.
Can you think of anything luckier
that could happen to somebody
to end up at this stage
doing what they love to do?
No, I know what you're talking about.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
You don't have to convince me.
Well, yeah, time's coming, man.
What's it like to suddenly,
you know,
I know the feeling.
But you also,
you've come out with a golf video.
We have a golf video.
It's called
Bad Golf Made Easier.
And the credo for the cassette is
that I don't play golf to feel bad.
I play bad golf,
but I feel good.
I don't know.
I don't know.
The whole point is that
there are well over 50 million
golfers in this world.
And 49,990,000 of them
play bad golf.
Are you a...
Is that right?
Yes.
We've got some of them here with us.
Are you...
You are, in fact,
a bad golfer?
Oh, yeah.
I am.
I mean, I don't see how I can...
How can I be a good golfer?
I don't get to play more than once
every two months
or something like that.
And you're too busy
when you're out there.
You're using that sound effect.
Well, you know,
sometimes to throw somebody
off their game.
But, you know,
we have all kinds of people
who are teaching us
to play good golf,
who are making cassettes.
The pros are making cassettes.
And you get books
about good golf and so on.
And we're concentrating
on the wrong end of our game.
We should be concentrating
on how to play bad golf better.
Well, we actually have...
That's why I did the cassette.
We have a quick
clip of your cassette,
which I guess is you
demonstrating...
Have you played it yet?
We played it while
you were sleeping.
No!
That's really quick.
But he's like,
no, we have not played it yet.
All right, well, all right.
You play it while
the person's here.
Oh, I see.
That was...
That was the first thing...
That was really quick.
That was the first thing
NBC taught me.
Play it when he's out there.
Let's take a look at this now.
I don't think it needs
any kind of setup.
No, okay.
No, what is it?
I think it's you teaching
how to do the sand wedge.
Oh, the sand wedge.
Yeah, that's good.
All right.
Oh, I think he's got
another one of those things.
All right, let's take
a look at this.
Now, you take up
a good stance
and plank your feet firmly.
Bend forward at the waist
and flex your knees.
Extend your right arm forward
and in an easy motion,
scoop up the ball.
Let your head
come up naturally.
Swing your arms.
Back.
Cock the wrist.
And in a forward
and upward motion,
you complete the power.
That was great.
You know what's interesting?
People laugh,
even before you did
something funny,
people laugh.
People laugh at you
just being serious.
Is that bad judgment?
Very bad judgment.
I see.
No, no, it's very funny.
I enjoyed it.
Yeah, well,
I want you,
don't be misled by that.
Now, I'm not, you know,
implying or recommending
that anybody cheat,
but when you're
in a sand trap like that
and you've taken
six or seven shots
and you're still in the trap,
you're well past
your allowable handicap anyway,
so use the hand wave.
All right.
Don't keep feeling bad.
Well, listen,
thank you.
Thank you very much.
It's been nice
talking to you
and best of luck
with this project
and with that little
project right there.
Am I done?
Yes, I'm finished with you.
You no longer amuse me.
No.
No, no,
that's our time,
but thank you very much.
It's a pleasure.
Thank you.
All right, I appreciate it.
We'll be right back.
Thank you.