Name: Norm Macdonald Interview - The Tom Green Show Live at the SModCastle (2010)
Uploaded: 2019-03-24T00:27:52.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Interview - The Tom Green Show Live at the SModCastle (2010)' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-03-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Interview - The Tom Green Show Live at the SModCastle (2010)' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-03-24. Transcript available.

Norm Macdonald Interview - The Tom Green Show Live at the SModCastle (2010)

This is the Tom Green Show. It's not the Green Tom Show. This is my favorite
show, because it is my show.
If this was your show, you'd probably like it more than I did. That's just
because it was your show, but it's not your show. It's the Tom Green Show.
Have we got a show tonight, Los Angeles? Have we got a show tonight. Thank you
for coming. Welcome to the show. This is Tom Green here, live at the Smodcastle.
Yes, and this is very exciting. This is the sixth episode of this show. You see,
we have a full house tonight. This thing is taking off.
And what a show, what a show, what a show we have. We have a very special treat
tonight. I don't want to spend too much time here with the introduction, so I'm
just going to bring him out.
Man of the hour. Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for Norm MacDonald.
All right. Hey, Tom. There we go. Yeah. There we go. What? How's it going? It's
going great, man.
Yeah, this is it. And here we are. See, this is how it works. Yeah, can you
believe we're in Hollywood?
Yeah, we're in Hollywood. We did it. Yeah, a couple of kids from the Ottawa
Valley.
Yeah, Beacon Hill. Yeah.
This is a very, we grew up very close to one another, you know, really close,
just miles away, near miles away.
Jasper. You were on Jasper. That's right. I was on Monson Crescent in Beacon
Hill, Ontario, Canada.
Everybody, if you're listening on the internet, Google that. And you went to Gloucester
High School.
That's right. Gloucester Gators. I was a rival high school, Colonel by Cougars.
Are that what they were called? The Cougars? The Cougars, yeah.
Yeah. That was before Cougars meant something else, though.
Yeah, Cougars used to be, in my day, Cougars meant a large jungle cat.
Yeah. Now it means, what's it mean now?
Now it means, I don't know.
A middle-aged woman who likes having sex with 20-year-olds or something like
that?
Yeah.
No?
It's very unseemly.
Yeah. Something like that, right?
Yeah.
Something disgusting like that, right?
Well, this is cool. This is going to be fun. This is my sixth show. It's kind
of interesting.
Who have you had so far? Who were your first five?
First guest was Bill Burr.
Bill Burr, a great comedian, great stand-up.
Absolutely.
State-of-the-art.
Absolutely. It was an awesome, great time. You probably know everybody that's
done the show.
We had Joe Rogan last week.
Number two, last week was Joe Rogan. Yeah, excellent.
Yeah.
Drug user.
Yeah.
Self-proclaimed.
Yeah. He talked quite a bit about...
DMT and so forth.
Absolutely. Yeah.
We talked a lot about DMT.
Yeah.
Do you know what that stuff is?
It's very, very powerful. Isn't it a tranquilizer of some sort of an animal?
Cat tranquilizer?
Yeah. Something like that. I think it comes from a plant or something like that.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, but anyways, yeah.
What about those guys that are like, hey, it's natural. It comes from a plant.
Yeah, exactly. So does heroin, I think.
So does cyanide.
Yeah.
What about, what was your second guest?
The second guest was Hal Sparks.
Hal Sparks, okay.
Very entertaining. He's had a lot of opinions about things.
Who else?
The third guest was, I believe, Harland Williams.
Oh, Harland, the great Harland Williams, our good friend, yeah.
Another Canadian friend of ours. And then John Doerr.
John Doerr. I know John Doerr, yeah. He's a great author.
Also from Ottawa.
He's from Ottawa?
He's from Ottawa, yeah.
Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, I worked with him. He's hilarious.
Yeah, so, and I'm...
You know the guy Mario Cantone?
Yeah.
Yeah, he's gay, you know. Out of the closet gay.
Yeah.
I mean, that's his act, that he's gay.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, I'm not saying anything that's...
You didn't out him.
I'm not telling any tales out of school.
No, okay, yeah.
But anyways, here I am, a young lad,
auditioning for the Joan Rivers show when it was on.
Yeah.
It was the first time I ever came to the United States.
Me and Howard Busgang.
Yeah.
And so me and Howard Busgang and Mario Cantone,
Joan Rivers likes us all, you know.
So we're at the Hyatt Regency, which is across from the Comedy Store,
where we auditioned for Joan Rivers.
Yeah.
And it's me and Howard Busgang are in the room, you know.
And Howard Busgang smoked marijuana at the time, you know.
Sure.
I don't.
Yeah.
But he smoked marijuana and I was watching.
Yeah.
And so I said, Howard, man, it's weird you're just smoking marijuana all by
yourself.
Why don't you invite old Mario Cantone over, right?
So he phones Mario Cantone's room.
Mario Cantone goes, yeah, I'll come over.
So he comes over, like, a minute later, all red-faced with his lover, right?
Yeah, okay.
He's also red-faced.
They're drenched in sweat.
Okay, yeah.
They've just been fornicating.
Yeah, they've been fornicating.
Yeah.
And so they're like, yeah, we'll take some.
So they take a quick, you know, smoke this joint so that they'll enhance their
orgasm later, right?
Right, sure, okay.
Then they give it back to poor Howard Buskang.
And he's sitting there with this joint that has God knows what on it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because, yeah.
Yeah, so Howard Buskang, in an effort to be politically correct, even though
they're gone.
Yeah.
Smokes the joint and gets full-blown AIDS.
No.
No, that doesn't end up, that last part.
No, Howard Buskang's a great guy.
He's doing a show right now.
Wow, yeah.
In Canada.
Well, let's, uh...
No, that must have been pretty exciting doing the Joan Rivers show, first time
in the...
I didn't do it.
Oh, okay.
You didn't do it?
No.
Mark Breslin was the booker of it.
Oh, yeah.
He was the Yuck Yucks guy.
He said, hey, come on down and audition for Joan Rivers.
And I said, I don't want to do Joan Rivers.
Because I wanted to do the Johnny Carson program.
Sure, yeah.
And, uh, so he said, no, no, I'll just come down, you know.
So I went down, and then Joan Rivers said, yeah, you can be on the show.
And then I said, no, I don't want to be on the show.
And then I couldn't work with Yuck Yucks for four months.
Right, because he was probably mad about that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But Joan Rivers, obviously, if you did that show, you wouldn't have done Johnny
Carson,
I guess.
I didn't do Johnny Carson, either.
But I ended up doing Pat Sajak.
Yeah.
I remember that.
You remember the Pat Sajak show?
It was very, felt like it was, he was very much trying to do sort of a Letterman
type
thing or something.
Yes, he was.
Because he was, because he was, uh, he was also a funny weatherman like Letterman,
you
know.
Yeah.
And, uh, but he was very nice to me.
But he had a, uh, he decided to do a 90-minute show.
This was five years after Johnny Carson decided that 90 minutes was too long
for him.
Right, yeah.
Pat Sajak figured he'd do 90 minutes.
So, uh, um, there were so many guests that by the end of the show, you would be
way at
the end of the couch.
And there was a sidekick, Dan Miller, who, uh, Pat told me was the funniest guy
in the
world.
And when Pat started out, wherever he started out, with Dan Miller was the
anchor.
And, uh, you know how guys, guys you know are the funniest guy in the world,
but only
if you know everything about them.
Sure, sure, sure.
Yeah.
So, uh, so he was like, oh, you'll love this guy, Dan Miller.
So he just sat there.
He was, he was a nice guy.
Yeah.
But anyways, there were so many guests.
At one point, I was so far down the couch that I looked over at Dan Miller.
He was reading a book.
During the television program.
So then, now, and then, and then Letterman, Letterman was, was, uh, was that
soon thereafter?
Yeah, yeah.
I did like five, uh, Pat Sajaks.
And then Letterman, uh, uh, wanted me.
And then he said, yeah, yeah.
And then I saw my thing.
It said, world, uh, national television debut.
And I go, no, no, I already did Pat Sajak five times.
And then I said, nah, we'll just say national television.
That didn't count, right?
Yeah.
It was just the farm league.
Wow.
That, so that, but that was, because I, now I remember when I was like a kid,
right?
And I was, I was doing the amateur night at Yuck Yucks, right?
That's when I, I remember, I remember when you did Pat Sajak.
I remember that.
It was.
Oh, really?
Oh, yeah, I remember that.
Everyone was talking about it.
Yeah.
You know, what's funny is that I'd go on the road sometimes and everyone lies
about their
credits, you know?
So sometimes I'd be on a stage and, uh, they, the, the opener, he'd pretend he
was on the
Tonight Show and the middle, pretend he was on Letterman.
And then I was a headliner.
I was on Pat Sajak.
And they go, oh, even though mine was the real credit.
Yeah.
Did you get, you want to hear a funny story about Pat Sajak?
Yeah.
One time I was on it, you know, Henny Youngman.
Sure.
Who, ironically, was an old man.
Yeah.
Wasn't a young man at all.
He wasn't a young man.
He was a young man at one point.
At one point, when they, when they named him, it made sense.
Just didn't change his name as he got older.
Yeah.
So he's on the show.
And, uh, so Pat Sajak had a, uh, uh, an idea every week he'd do all comedy,
which is
not a good idea.
You know, especially when you're the last guy.
So, uh, Henny Youngman came out, right?
And he did, he's a great, great comedian, you know?
So he did his comedy.
And then he goes over and he does the panel with Pat Sajak, right?
And then halfway during the panel, he goes, I would like, uh, I'd like to sing
a song for
the audience.
It's a little song I made up, you know?
So Pat Sajak goes, sure, sure.
You know?
So he gets up and he walks over to the, um, to the performing area and he goes
to step off
the riser and he trips and I'm watching this backstage, you know, and he starts
falling.
It looks like slow motion, really slow.
And then, you know, he's 80 and he goes down like face first, really, really
hard on the
floor.
So they stop tape and everybody's around, including Pat Sajak.
It takes about a half hour to get him up.
And, uh, he says, I want to continue.
He's all like, now he's all blurry, you know, but it's like the show must go on.
You know, you ever hear that?
Yeah.
Ridiculous.
Retarded Maxim.
So he, uh, he, uh, thought the show must go on.
So now he, they restarted and he's at the panel again.
He's talking to Pat Sajak and he did doing the same jokes and he goes, now I'd
like to
do a song.
And then Pat Sajak goes, huh?
And he gets up again and he goes to go to step off the rising end.
So Pat Sajak stops and he goes, just do it here, just do it here, you know?
So he starts playing the, his violin, you know?
Yeah.
And he sings the song and the song's all about how great the, it's not a funny
song.
It's all about how great the audience is.
He goes, yeah, the answer's like, but a crunch, they're the best if it wasn't
for
them, you know?
So the house goes crazy because here he's, you know, almost died and now he's
doing a
song about how great the audience is.
And then I have to go on next.
So I'm like, oh my God, like, and they just go crazy for him.
So then I go on, I bomb for five minutes, you know?
And then I walk over to the panel, you know?
And you know how a panel works, the guy's sitting on the chair and then he has
to move
over to the couch and then you sit on the chair, right?
But Henny Youngman at this point's half dead sitting on the chair, right?
So he ain't moving, you know?
So you had to sit on the couch and walk over him.
Yeah, so I had to climb over him and sit on the couch.
So now there's a three shot, Pat Sajak's interviewing me and there's a dead guy
in between us.
So we're doing our pre-planned, you know, stuff.
And you got a dog and I got a dog and all this stuff, you know?
And meanwhile, there's just a dead guy looking straight forward.
And we do this for a couple of minutes and it's the same tree shot.
And then all of a sudden he snaps out of it and he just looks over at me and he
goes,
nice shirt.
Somewhere there's a canopy missing on an Italian restaurant.
That was the story.
Now, did you get nervous when you would do these early shows?
Would you get nervous?
Yeah, I get pretty nervous.
Yeah?
Yeah?
Oh, yeah.
