Name: Norm Macdonald on the Tonight Show w/ Jay Leno - Stand Up and Interview (1996)
Uploaded: 2019-03-30T20:41:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald on the Tonight Show w/ Jay Leno - Stand Up and Interview (1996)' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-03-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald on the Tonight Show w/ Jay Leno - Stand Up and Interview (1996)' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-03-30. Transcript available.

hey michael hey nice shoes what are they gold you go no no they're uh you're
yellow
i was a runner that's why i like michael when i was in college i was around i
was a great runner
too man i was the greatest but i wasn't uh i wasn't uh fast i wasn't fast you
know that hurts
your times you know when you're not fast coach always on your ass about that
you know but i love
man the olympics were great the gymnastics that was the other story you know
the great gymnastics
i love that watching the girls hopping and jumping around there you know
you know and you like it you don't know what the hell's going on but you like
it you know
after a few days though you know you figure like an expert you know you know
you're watching you're
going like 8.5 8.5 what the hell what the hell is that guy thinking
that was like 8.6 or something there eight point seemed to me like 8.6
guy's nuts
some of the sports were lame too on the olympics you know where they had like
the shot put i saw that
you know and uh you know even the commentators they don't know they do regular
sports you know
then all of a sudden they got to cover the shot put you know i don't know what
to say you know
guys like hey chucked that a long way huh
not as far as that last guy though that last guy he chucked it further
i think he's ahead there bill because his went farther than the other guy i'm
pretty sure he's ahead
the lamest though i've always you ever see that guy it's a sport fast walking
you ever see that one
it's just a guy walking fast you know the guy's like walking as fast as he can
that's lame you know
yeah you got to figure guys like michael johnson are ribbing this guy around
the olympic village
like hey i saw you uh walking today that was something there yeah that was that
was good
yeah man that was a brisk stroll you had going there today yeah you broke the
45 minute mile i
heard you said said it could never be done holy lord
sometimes they combine sports too in the olympics you ever see that where they
have two sports they're
good separately you know they try to combine them just make a mess of them you
know like
i saw this one guy run a hundred yard dash and then uh fish you know the guys
there's fish in there in a creek you know like crazy
toughest sport of all the most grueling the decathlon that was the toughest you
know
that's where the guy you know he has to run and jump he has to jump he has to
climb up a ladder or
something like that you know i don't know all the i don't know all the things
they have to do but
they have to do 10 you know and then they're the greatest athletes in the world
they're considered
you know they're 10 sports and then at the end you know they get a gold medal
you know which which
sounds good until you consider it's the same gold medal they gave the fast
walking guy you know
yeah that fast walking guy he shouldn't get a medal at all they should you know
they should give him like
a stick or something you know you know what i mean here you go a stick there
you go that's for you a nice stick
that's where you win a stick yeah you can hang that around your neck there it's
a stick that's what you won
i hope you wore some wooden shoes pal because you want a stick that's what you
got all right okay folks hey
hey good to see you again hey it's great to be here jay have you been watching
the uh
conventions you follow them oh yeah i'm watching every day you know i love dole
you know he's my
favorite guy and he uh why is that funny he's a great guy he was happy now he's
getting happy you know
yesterday i saw him at a convention he broke into a huge half smile you know oh
yeah he's nice
but you know all joking aside i know you love to joke bob dole you know but
that guy he's a war hero
you know yeah yeah he's he gave his his uh arm for his country you know he went
through all these
debilitating injuries during the war for his country was great and in all
fairness though bill clinton
also he had a kind of some war injuries really yeah when he was in england
there during the vietnam war
i heard he uh i heard he uh he had a bad injury he burned his mouth on a bong
but you see the only way bill clinton or bob dole can win really is if bill clinton
is rocked with
more scandals you notice every day a new scandal comes up you know i heard this
one today terrible
scandal apparently that way back when he was governor of arkansas bill clinton
apparently he
got really drunk one night and he had uh sex with uh hillary that's not good
that's a shocking shocking
thing well you begin your fourth season when uh september 28th yeah it's gonna
be great norm good to see you
again good to see you again good to be right back right after this