Name: Norm Macdonald on the Dan Patrick Show - Biggest Sports Bet Made (2011) Full Interview
Uploaded: 2019-04-07T01:56:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald on the Dan Patrick Show - Biggest Sports Bet Made (2011) Full Interview' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-04-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald on the Dan Patrick Show - Biggest Sports Bet Made (2011) Full Interview' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-04-07. Transcript available.

Spent some time with Norm MacDonald.
We don't always summer together, but spent a little time with him last summer
as we were shooting the movie Grown Ups.
Great comedian and host, High Stakes Poker on the Game Show Network,
and also has a sports show coming out on Comedy Central.
Hi, Norm.
Hi, Dan. How you doing, man?
I'm good. I'm good. How's life?
We were at Shadow Creek that time, remember?
Remember when I saw you walking with Cato Kaelin?
And I thought, I didn't know you two were friends,
but you guys were playing golf at one of the more exclusive golf courses in the
country,
in Las Vegas, Shadow Creek.
You and Cato hang out.
Yeah, well, we used to, yeah.
It proved too costly.
Why?
Well, he doesn't have any money ever.
And he loves going to great golf courses and eating big, thick steaks.
So, do you think he latched on to you?
Did he use you?
Did he ever move into your house?
No, no, no. He's a good guy, man. He's a great guy.
Did he move into your house?
No, he's a great guy.
And he, you know, he probably would have been famous even without that thing.
Did you ever ask him the big question?
Oh, yeah, yeah. He said he did it.
So, Cato said O.J. did it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But he says, you know what he told me?
He says, I don't know if I should tell you.
That means you should.
But he said that he was going to, you know, say what he knew and everything,
you know,
about O.J., what happened that night.
But then he said when, like, he was up on the stand and everything, like, Marsha
Cross, who I guess was the prosecuting attorney?
Yep.
Kind of like a tough old, tough old bird.
And then he said, like, you know, whenever they had a break, like, Johnny Cochran
would walk over to him and go,
Cato, man, you're funny, man.
You're a funny guy.
So he just started to get charmed by.
Wait, he got charmed by Johnny Cochran more than Marsha Cross?
Yeah, he got charmed by Johnny Cochran.
So if Marsha hit on him and said, you look cute, I like the way your hair is
streaked today, he might have read it out.
But in trials, in trials, really, like, you always think, like, jury trials are
fair.
But then, you know, because you imagine in your head, like, these even-minded
people.
Then when you see the jurors interviewed after, I was like, I didn't like that
one time when he looked weird.
You know what I mean?
I remember at the O.J. trial, there was this big, fat woman.
It doesn't matter if she was fat.
But she was fat.
But they were interviewing after the trial, and they said, listen, you know,
what about all the evidence against O.J.?
Because they said it was like a trillion to one and it couldn't be him.
And they did blood evidence for eight days.
You know, what about that?
And then she said, everybody got blood.
He's Norm MacDonald.
Don't acquitted.
She remembered the rhyme.
He's Norm MacDonald, high-stakes poker on the Game Show Network, and also has
his sports show coming at Comedy Central.
What is the sports show going to be about?
The sports show is going to be like, it's going to be kind of like Weekend
Update a lot.
It's going to be, you know, because when I was on Weekend Update, I did a lot
of jokes about politics.
And it turns out I have absolutely no interest in politics, as it happens.
So I thought it would be cool to do something I was actually interested in, you
know.
What's the most you ever bet on a sporting event?
Oh, my God.
I don't know, probably $100,000 or something like that.
Wait, what game?
It was actually the worst beat of the century.
It was pretty bad.
The Mets, the Mets, I had the over, which I think was seven.
And the, no, it was six and a half.
I'm sorry, it was six and a half.
And the game was tied 2-2.
And I think Ventura was the batter.
Wait, the Grand Slam?
Yeah, the one-run Grand Slam.
You know that one?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was tragic.
And I remember Costas at the time, because it was just bedlam.
And he goes, I don't think those will count, you know.
And I'm like, oh, Costas must have.
He had the under?
He must have.
He was pretty happy about it.
But did you bet with Artie Lang when you would hang out with him?
Yeah, yeah, Artie and I bet a lot together.
We were, we re-enabled each other.
If you, people often say that if you play a round of golf with somebody,
you can find everything you need to know about a guy.
If I said, could you find out that same amount of information
as to how competitive, does he cheat, fun guy, does he have beers, smoke cigars?
Could you have that same kind of feeling about a guy playing poker?
Yeah.
Well, not as much, because, you know, lying is part of the game and so forth.
Golf, I completely agree with you.
You can find out.
When I play golf, I count every stroke.
And it maddens me, you know, when people don't.
I read a thing in Golf Digest once, actually.
It was Jack Nicklaus, Gerald Ford, and Jimmy, what's his name, Clinton,
were playing a round of golf.
And it was really funny, because Clinton, allegedly a scratch player, just
cheated the whole time.
And so, you know, he'd be in the woods and everything, and he was one of these
guys who'd get up on the green
and then start counting after, you know, give me a birdie, you know, give me a
bogey or whatever.
And the other guys were just fuming about it, you know.
I did not cheat.
I did not cheat.
All right, let me give the actual plugs here.
So you have the sports show with Norm MacDonald is April 12th at 1030.
Yes, it is.
The high-stakes poker, the Game Show Network.
You've got a stand-up special.
What's that?
Oh, yeah, that's this Saturday.
Where is that?
That's on the comedy TV show.
What is it called?
Comedy Central.
Comedy Central.
Will anybody be with you on your sports show on Comedy Central?
What do you mean?
Like a co-host?
Yeah, co-host or correspondence.
Yeah, we'll have some correspondence.
We're not going to have a co-host.
Did you ever have a co-host?
You never had a co-host.
Yeah, Olberman.
Oh, God.
I forgot about that.
Thank God that national nightmare is over.
You don't miss Keith.
I don't miss him doing sports.
When he left the MSNBC show, I was like, oh, my God.
I hope he doesn't go back to sports.
You know, man, I like you.
Thank you.
My tastes are very narrow when it comes to my sports.
Who is your favorite?
My favorite sportscaster of all time?
Yep.
It would be a tie.
I mean, it would be a tie between Marv Albert and Howard Cosell.
You did Harry Carey impersonation.
Did you do Cosell?
One time I met Cosell when I was a boy, and I was struck by his honest...
Oh, here's a funny Cosell thing.
I was watching Monday Night Baseball once.
You probably remember when this happened.
Dave Winfield hit the pigeon.
The seagull in Toronto.
Yeah, he killed the seagull the day before.
And then they used to have Monday Night Baseball, right?
With Cosell and Keith Jackson.
Yeah.
And so Cosell would do those great cold openings.
And he goes, they show like a picture of Winfield.
You know, he had killed the bird the day before.
And then Cosell goes, you know that man, Dave Winfield, last night.
What is that?
He goes, last night, he was two for three with four hits.
And four hits, three RBIs, and one B-I-R-D.
Tonight, he proves that diamonds are not a gull's best friend.
Tonight, he would always do it right after his joke.
Yell tonight.
Once you get started with him.
This is my story, buddy.
Well, I was in Toronto.
I was a little young boy.
And he was coming out of a hotel.
And I was like, oh, my God, it's Howard Cosell.
So at Toronto at the time, it was mid-season.
And Montreal and Toronto were both leading their league, which is very, very
strange.
And so we were all excited about Toronto.
And we were just kids, and nobody else was around.
We said, Howard, Howard, how do you think Toronto is going to do this year?
And he just walked by us, and he goes, frankly, I like Baltimore.
He didn't have to say it, but he did.
Good luck with all the shows.
And I'd love to have you back on when you get the Comedy Central Sports Show up
and running.
Oh, that'd be awesome, man.
We'll talk sports.
Yeah, that'd be great.
You ever do that?
Yeah, I do it occasionally.
Hey, remember when I asked you how many hits DiMaggio got during his 56-game
hitting streak?
Yeah.
Remember the answer?
No, I don't.
It was 80-something.
Yeah, I think it was 100.
It was 100-something like that.
Yeah.
You know what?
Come back.
We'll talk sports.
All right, babe.
Okay, thank you, Norm.
Winning.
You gave me a win?
Yeah.