Name: Norm Macdonald - Interview The Brew Portland (2012) Full Video
Uploaded: 2019-04-14T17:38:50.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald - Interview The Brew Portland (2012) Full Video' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-04-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald - Interview The Brew Portland (2012) Full Video' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-04-14. Transcript available.

We're rolling, baby.
Norm, how's it going, man?
I'm Dan Bozik.
Glad to have you in the studio.
Thanks, Dan.
It's awesome to be here.
So what are you doing for money these days, man?
I'm doing stand-up comedy.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Are you still doing the poker show?
No, I'm not doing it because since Black Friday, they stopped all the poker
shows.
Oh, that's right.
That was depressing.
Oh, yeah.
That was depressing.
That was fun.
That was so easy.
Was it?
Do you actually play poker a lot?
Yeah, I play poker, yeah.
Yeah?
Who do you play poker with mostly?
Who do you like taking money from?
What do you mean?
Is there somebody that you play poker with?
Oh, a celebrity's name?
Yeah.
No, I don't play celebrity games.
I just go to the local casino.
Yeah.
You don't have friends over?
No.
No.
It's bad, you know?
It's bad for friendship.
Because you take their money or because you lose money all the time?
Well, either way, it's just, you know, bad feelings happen with the poison of
gambling.
So what are you having the most fun talking about lately?
I mean, you've got, this election must be tremendous for you.
Are you naturalized?
Do you vote in the United States?
No, I'm Canadian.
You are still Canadian.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, just making sure.
No, I'm Canadian, and so I don't vote.
I also, I don't know anything about anything.
So, and then, so I can't make up my mind about stuff.
Basically, my opinion is like, the last guy I heard, I take his.
You're easily impressionable.
Very impressionable, yes.
Like, I'll see those commercials, I'll go, oh my God, I'm not voting for this
guy.
He killed a lady.
Yeah.
In a coal mine, he strangled her in the bowels of a coal mine.
And then I'll watch another commercial.
I'll go, I'm not, I wouldn't vote for this guy.
This guy is some sort of a Kenyan sleeper agent.
I actually saw that on Fox News.
I think that might even be true.
So, yeah, no, I'm very highly, I always think people are telling the truth,
especially if
they got a catchy jingle and stuff.
It's like, go ahead, make a jingle up.
It's like, you know, this is my idea.
You know how they say, really, the guy you vote for is the guy you'd want to
have a beer
with.
I think they should do ads about that.
Like, guy, go, that guy, man, he's no good.
He never picks up a tab.
Man, I drink all the time.
I'm always drinking beer.
Right.
I'm a heck of a, heck of a guy to go out and drink beer with.
Just make that the whole campaign.
Right.
The guy that's going to bail you out of jail.
That's who you vote for.
That would be me.
So, what's, how extensive is this tour that you're out on right now?
Are you doing, like, something, like, really long term?
You out on the road?
Yeah, I've been out on the road now for, like, 20 of the last 22 weeks, but I'm
slowing
down.
I'm going to take some time off come Christmas.
Yeah.
Are you writing on anything?
Is there anything you're talking about?
Well, I'm doing a pilot on, I did a pilot for the TBS.
Yeah.
Very funny.
That's what they say.
It's odd that their slogan, very funny, can only be said in a sarcastic way.
Yeah.
Right?
Very, yeah, very funny.
Very funny, yeah.
Yeah, very funny.
But, yeah, so, anyways, we did the pilot for them, so then we find that out in
two weeks
whether they're going to do it.
I think they will.
Yeah?
Is it how closely related to it, to the Norm MacDonald show?
You bringing that back, or you got some totally new concept with this new show?
No, it's exactly the same.
Right on.
That's what I wanted to hear.
That show was brilliant.
I can't imagine where that show went.
That was a lot of fun to watch.
Yeah, yeah.
So, you know, listen, I don't have that many moves.
Yeah.
But I feel like I keep repeating the same thing over and over until I've gone
through
every network.
If it's not broken.
Yeah.
Or even if it is broken.
There's so many networks now, so you can go like, you know what's funny about
networks?
Because they have nothing to do anymore with what they were originally supposed
to be.
It's like tonight on History Channel.
Hi, Hitler.
He was high.
Or, you know, on the National Geo, or Nat Geo, National Geographic's too boring.
They have to call it Nat Geo.
On Nat Geo, Sasquatch.
I'm like, what?
Sasquatch?
Attention spans are dead, man.
It's not about warming.
I think this would be a funny show.
If you had a ghost hunting show, you're going to go to houses and hunt for
ghosts and,
you know, try to find ghosts in the house.
And at the end of the show, you go, I didn't find any.
You never find a ghost.
Or you go to houses that you know are absolutely not haunted and convince
people that they are.
Yeah.
Just frighten them.
I think that would be brilliant.
So if you could do any TV show that you wanted to, if you could get on any one
of these
informative TV networks, what kind of pitch would that be?
What kind of show would I do?
Yeah.
I mean, what's the Norm Macdonald reality show?
I pitched a reality show.
Yes?
No, I pitched a reality show once in FX.
We almost did it.
Yeah.
And then we didn't.
And then Louie did his.
Louie is a reality show?
Or is that what you said?
Well, no, no.
Oh, okay.
Louie's isn't a reality show.
I mean, but no.
Yeah, I had a crazy idea for a reality show.
But no, I don't know what I'd do.
I guess I'd do whatever is like the least work.
It's the Norm Macdonald sleep show.
Yeah, that would be cool.
And Norm drinks coffee, too.
Yeah, like just like one of those 24-hour shows where you just see me live and
age and then
eventually expire.
I hear that's a hell of a season finale.
And then people could like, it would be the ultimate reality show, minute by
minute.
You know, it would only be on the TV for five, six hours, but then it would be
on the net for the rest of the time.
Which is where we mostly live anyway.
Yeah.
Hey.
And just see everything, man.
See me lying down on top of ladies.
Winner.
All that stuff, yeah.
All right, man.
I like lying.
This is what, you know, listen, I don't mean to get filthy or, you know,
anything like that.
But if I could just be a little sexually explicit, I like to get in a bedroom,
turn off all the lights until it's so dark you can't see anything,
and then go underneath five, six covers and lie down on top of a lady for three
or four minutes.
Remaining perfectly still.
Yeah.
How does that work?
No, yeah, I don't know.
Listen, I don't know.
You know, that's a popular activity, I hear.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then you apologize to them.
And you make your way out to the liquor store.
No.
No, you want to hear my worst pickup line?
Go ahead.
You go up behind a lady, you see her drinking a drink at the bar.
Yeah.
And she's drinking one of those fancy drinks.
And then you just, you go up behind her, she can't, you can't, she can't see
her, right?
You sidle up to her, and then you go, excuse me, miss.
She's like, yeah.
And then you go, I can get us a bottle.
It never worked.
I was going to say, if you pulled that one off, that's a lot of eye contact and
a lot
of confidence that you're going to really project to be able to pull that one
off.
No, I thought it would work because, I mean, they're drinking alcohol and I'm
offering
them a free bottle.
Yeah.
But it doesn't work.
I may try it anyway.
Yeah.
You got to try.
All right, Norm.
I know that I've been given a limited amount of time, but thanks for coming by
the studio.
This was fun, man.
Actually, I think we got a couple of reality show ideas out of this other than
the ones
that you already had.
Yeah, yeah, we did.
All right.
The dark covers thing, the dark room under the four covers.
Yeah.
All you'd see is like black and you wouldn't hear anything.
You'd have to use your imagination like old time radio.
Because sometimes the imagination can be more powerful than reality.
I mean, very seldom, but.
Norm MacDonald, my friends.
All right, man.
This was fun.
This was crazy.
All right.
Thanks very much.
Thanks, man.
We'll see you around.