Name: Norm Macdonald on Tom Green Live AXS TV (2014) Full Ridiculous Episode
Uploaded: 2019-05-07T21:59:32.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald on Tom Green Live AXS TV (2014) Full Ridiculous Episode' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-05-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald on Tom Green Live AXS TV (2014) Full Ridiculous Episode' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-05-07. Transcript available.

Norm Macdonald on Tom Green Live AXS TV (2014) Full Ridiculous Episode

hello welcome to the show norm thank you for coming to the show yeah it's great
man i'm
excited yeah this is great to have you here i like the donut prince and i'll
tell you why
okay man has humility he owns the joint he could easily be the donut king right
that's right
yeah it's humility is a lost virtue tommy yeah absolutely well i'm gonna have
to ask him about
that i actually met the donut prince yesterday you did yeah i went down there i
met him and i
asked him if it was all right if we spoke about his his establishment on a
television show yeah
actually ran it past him yeah he seemed pretty uh happy to have us talk about
it believe it or not
well sure he'd love that man unless he's a brutal prince yeah he could be ah it's
just was one of
those things where you know there's all these old businesses in los angeles and
uh you're enjoying
the electronic cigarette norm i just yeah i gave you that i never had it yeah
this is uh i've been uh
you gotta let go of the button though when you're not smoking it or it'll blow
up in your hand
it's a battery it's essentially a battery that will explode if you the thing
about that brand of
electronic cigarette uh not to go on and on about it but if you put it in your
back pocket and you sit
on it uh you'll you'll feel it starting to burn a hole in your ass yeah i don't
know if you've ever
had the experience you don't smoke but uh uh a pack of matches suddenly igniting
inside of your uh
that actually happens sure it happens quite quite frequently amongst uh common
smokers you know uh
macchiavelli sure yeah in his later days he became a big fat pig and uh all he
wanted to do is eat and
he wrote a famous treatise on uh power uh by uh eating it was called the donut
prince
yes absolutely yeah donut prince would uh fake his own death to hide from his
enemies in a pile of
cronuts or something like that right this network is owned by mark cuban yes
that's right yeah and an
interesting side note i did a show called the sport show and mark cuban liked
it and wanted to do it
on his network which was at a different name at that point yeah hd net yeah and
uh i love my favorite
team because my son's favorite team is the dallas mavericks right absolutely
and i don't know
basketball i'm from canada like you yeah you don't know basketball you you know
a lot about sports
though i do know a big sports fan but i would not pick the dallas mavericks but
my son loved them
and my son was very angry at mark cuban because uh the mavericks had a shot at
jerron williams
and uh you know the everyone was trying to woo him yeah and when jerron williams
went to dallas to
meet uh the mavericks ownership uh mark cuban was here in l.a getting makeup
done for their shark tank
okay all right so you're trying to get me fired right now is what you're saying
is that what
no god bless mark cuban i love him so you i love a guy in that that's with his
team he's in the stands
he's cheering on his you know he's a fan that guy absolutely he's a fan he
treats his players
like no other owners treat their you know he's like the anti like jerry jones
he's been very
supportive of uh this little show here oh yeah he sent me uh encouraging emails
oh that's wonderful
so now you uh are doing a great new television show now a podcast a video
podcast yes norm mcdonald live
i did it for a while tommy you were on it you were kind enough to be a guest
yeah and you know what
here's how good it was yeah it wasn't even a tv show right and uh uh
entertainment weekly ranked it
as the third best tv show that's amazing isn't that incredible but it is a tv
show yes i do it as a tv
show i do it like you're doing this this is on a tv network but i do it as a tv
show that goes to
you know the internet so it's a video podcast but it's not one of these where
where you get a two
comedians talking about some nobody knows anything about right right like this
no no no no i think
we're pretty accessible yeah absolutely but i think some of these uh comedy
podcasts are so you know
they're like uh and now uh we're doing the full hour with a guy that's been on
parks and rec for three
months there's a lot of podcasts uh this one is is you've got great guests we
do comedy you had larry
king on with the great larry king now when you had larry king on did you you
asked or had there's some
shocking subject matter i find that were you trying to shock larry a little bit
or well he larry king
said that uh he was uh very frightened of death and of course you take a shot
of him saying that
and he looks like he's about a week away you know it's like a skeleton telling
you he's afraid of death
yeah and he's like
so uh and he didn't he didn't believe in god so i was trying to uh i know it's
very stylish nowadays
to not believe in god you know it's it's the thing to do right and especially
in comedy you know and
uh i i stay away from that sort of thing in comedy because i find comedy should
be funny right absolutely
like imagine in the old days you go hey uh uh what do you think of uh of uh
religion lou costello
but death death is something that is a big theme in your comedy though death
death is yes because
this is you want me to tell you why tommy yes because i did stand up as you
know uh in ottawa
and i was talking about stuff and sammy kinnison came you know to canada and he
wasn't famous or
nothing and he took a liking to me and he took me across the country and it was
the greatest time i ever
had and i was talking about you know i had a good act and sam said to me one
time he goes you got good
jokes man he goes but i noticed you talk about dogs and shit and he's like are
you really interested in
dogs and i had it at the time about a 25 minute at bid on dogs and i was like
no i don't give a
fuck about dogs right and he said well why don't you just talk about what you're
interested in so from
then on it became death right death was the do you do you think you think about
death more than your
average person i don't know what the average person thinks i think uh you know
it's always on their mind
you know what i mean but i yeah i will ruminate about it you know uh for long
long periods of course to
no uh to no uh purpose or to no avail you know what i mean it's worthless but i
got some material about
about it and but anyways i did it in my stand-up special and now that's gone so
i can move on yeah
that's what i'm like i i really i just think about stuff for stand-up and then
i get caught on one
subject for a long period of time and then once i've exhausted that subject i'm
free now in my life
not to think about death cool well we'll talk more about i want to talk more
about the podcast oh yeah
yeah take our first commercial break here awesome tommy of the show and we'll
be taking calls on skype so
give us a call here on the internet using skype and we'll be back with norm mcdonald
stick around
we're back with norm mcdonald and uh let's take a skype call from one of our
callers since we've
asked people to call and they're calling uh you're on the air with norm mcdonald
do you have a question
go ahead sir with your question um yeah hey norm hi how are you good and you
good good happy new year
that was an easy question yeah happy new year's don't get nervous i know you're
on live television
you're a little nervous but just go ahead and ask the question now that we've
uh you know told joel
we were going to do this in the break and let's do it now okay okay cool yeah
norm what's your favorite
sport to bet to bet on uh my favorite sport to bet on is uh football uh
professional football but it's the
worst sport to bet on and what's your name jay jay i'll tell you the reason
that football is the hardest
sport to predict because the ball ain't round sure you understand that concept
right like a basketball is
round it's shot it goes into a hoop a baseball is round it hit it goes
somewhere a football is not round and
squid and when it's lost it goes everywhere and that's it's like a sling and
that's why
don't bet professional football don't be like me
what what what what about golf you bet on golf
i do bet on golf because you can't get a rounder ball yeah
all right well there's your answer uh caller thanks for calling appreciate it
hey thanks tom yeah go pats yeah now you know now you know right so uh do you
take calls on the show
when you're on your on your no no no we tried but you have it down to a science
but uh mine uh it was
it was like when you did your show at your house and so we do an hour show we'd
take uh one skype
column we'd be 58 minutes into the show yeah exactly so uh it didn't work out
so but you you
seem to have finally figured it out so i wanted to ask you so you've got all
this time on the show
now it's not like television you can go on for hours if you want uh and you're
somebody that's never
really shied away from saying what you feel about things and we're living in
this crazed media culture
now where people are always apologizing for every word that comes out of their
mouth do you ever worry
that that you might say something that you can't take back or that you know i
did one thing
because they'll jump on things as you know and take things out of context and
so forth you know
and uh so i was on the larry king show i don't know if you've done that yet on
his internet show
yeah yeah i did once yeah that was i love larry king yeah so he asked me uh my
views on science
because he called me a christian comedian which is like what the hell does that
mean
you know it sounds like i'm playing i'm opening for joel osteen or something
and uh so that's the
problem you call a person a christian now all of a sudden it's a bad you know
you're it's like calling
a person a retard or something right so uh anyways i told him i said uh i don't
i don't think that much
of science i said uh for instance dna i don't know a fucking p anything about dna
what am i i'm just a nightclub
comic so he said if there was a guy that was going to jail or going to the
death house and the evidence
against him was dna and i was in the jury i'd vote him innocent because 15
years from now they could go
ah we're wrong right so i said that then in the fucking somewhere and the i see
an article christian
comedian norm mcdonald doesn't believe in science well you know uh it's sort of
what happened though
i guess right yeah oj was the one that uh really was the reason that dna really
became the big uh
i don't know i'll tell you something about oj yeah and how on twitter you can
get in true not in trouble
because who the cares what these retards say but uh i'm saying on twitter i
said yesterday i put a post
up i said uh uh you know my heart goes out to oj and his family uh for his uh
health issues and god
bless and people got very angry at me you know and they're like fuck oj you
know and like there's
another virtue that's gone tommy pity whatever happened to pity yeah do we have
to hate everybody
uh people probably your fans especially were maybe surprised to hear it coming
from you considering
some of the things you used to say about oj on weekend update well yeah because
i was against oj for
committing double murder yeah one of the great lines in the history but i am
not against oj for getting
brain cancer yeah no right no it's perfectly i feel sorry for the man my god
and that's true he does
have brain cancer is that true or i saw that on the cover i don't know then i
heard that that he may
have made it up yeah but but uh you know of course if a man has brain cancer
and uh he's going
to die in prison how could you feel anything but but pity for him that was one
of the great lines
in the history of saturday night live your line when after oj was found uh
innocent murder is now
legal in the state of california yeah that's right yeah yeah what now what was
there was quite
a bit of a backlash to the that at the time was there or i got fired yeah
you know i found interesting you know you look back at your career and you go
what the
did i do wrong i'm you kn