Name: Norm Macdonald on Sports 750 The Game (Portland) Compilation - 2 Interviews
Uploaded: 2019-05-22T22:05:35.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald on Sports 750 The Game (Portland) Compilation - 2 Interviews' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-05-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald on Sports 750 The Game (Portland) Compilation - 2 Interviews' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-05-22. Transcript available.

Norm Macdonald on Sports 750 The Game (Portland) Compilation - 2 Interviews

Norm Macdonald is in studio with us, comedian and actor, also Kevin Farley, who
I saw at the Venetian last summer.
Kevin Farley, you were good.
Oh, thank you.
Really good. Like, you didn't have everything scripted, you just got up and
told stories.
That's what I do, yeah.
It was good.
Yeah, I have an improv background, so I don't really know how to tell jokes. So
I tell stories.
You're just a funny guy.
Thanks.
You guys are at the Helium Comedy Club this weekend tonight.
Showtime's 8 o'clock tonight and Friday and Saturday, two shows each night, 7.30
and 10 o'clock.
Norm Macdonald, you're unshaven, man.
Yeah, I know. I didn't take a shave because I forgot my six-blade razor at home,
and I need six blades.
Because the first one gets the hair, then the second one pulls it a little,
then the third one...
Anyways, I saw a commercial.
But I got to the hotel, I hadn't shaven for like three days, and I got a lot of
hair because
I'm so mad. It's crazy how masculine I am. You can go on a long time, but
anyways.
And then they gave, me and Farley, they gave just a single blade. And Farley
said it'll tear
up your face.
It will. It tears mine up.
A one-blader will bloody up my face pretty good.
Yeah, why did anyone ever shave before they had like the Mach 3?
Why did they shave?
Yeah, like why would you? You just rip your face up.
I wonder when people started shaving, like in the old cultures, didn't they use
a rock or
something like that?
Am I imagining that?
I don't know.
Strongopedia, do you happen to know the history of shaving?
That's a bit outside my purview, but I'll look it up.
You'll look it up.
Yeah, look it up in the WWW.
I thought it was interesting because you, Norm Macdonald dropped a swear word
during the
break in here, and it's like Bob Saget. Like you see him as the Olsen twins'
dad, and
then he's dropping F-bombs in some comedy routine. Do you cuss in your bit?
Yeah.
You do it in your normal?
All the time in real life.
Walking around?
Yes, because when I was young, my dad said, like I swore a lot. My dad said,
you know,
if you swear, if you curse a lot, that's a sign of a person with a very low
vocabulary.
So I really did not want a large vocabulary. So I thought, oh, this will be
cool. Every
time I can't think of a word, I'll say something super dirty. And it works just
as well.
You guys have, do you guys sort of tour together? Or is this a, is this a run?
How long have
you been on this current sort of binge?
Norm is my mentor. Norm, when I started, Norm goes, I'm going to teach you
stand-up. You
know, this was last year, right, Normie?
So I, you know, went on the road with him, and he basically is teaching me. I
sort of learned
from him a lot. And so we went across Canada, and now I go around here, and he
takes me to
places. Sometimes he learns from me, like, well, the other night, I realized he
learned
from me by saying a joke I told him on the airplane.
That's what's mentoring. All of a sudden, it's in his act. I'm like, he's like,
I thought
I thought. No, you just heard me tell you. That's right. Because I forgot which
one of
us said. Well, then I won't do that one. Sorry.
You, Norm, when you're, when you're acting and then doing the stand-up stuff,
what do you
prefer to do? What do you, what's more natural to you? Oh, stand-up. I've just,
but that's the only thing I like to, I don't know how to act at all. Like,
sometimes when
you're good at stand-up, like, they'll give you other stuff for some reason. It
doesn't
make any sense that you're not good at all. So they'll go like, hey, you're a
pretty good
stand-up, you know. Would you care to be an awful sitcom guy? You go, sure, I'll
take
it. And Kevin, you say improv is your background. And you know, I saw you in
Vegas. You had no
planned material. You just got started telling stories about your childhood. It
was, it was
hilarious. But Norm, I got to think that you write a lot of your stuff. How
much of being
a comedian for you is, is writing and how much is the delivery of it? Oh, I
think it's pretty
well all writing. Yeah. I mean, but you can write, like, I don't really write
things on
paper so much as I just think them up in my head, you know what I mean? Then do
you store
them somewhere or is it just kind of swimming around? No, I store them in my
head. So nowhere
do you have, like, written down what you'll do tonight at Helium? I'll write
down a list,
like, of bullet points, you know. I'll say, I'll write down, like, nine, ten
subjects I want
to talk about. But not, not, I never memorized anything. We've got Norm
McDonald and Kevin Farley in studio here on 750 The Game. They're appearing
tonight at Helium Comedy Club, 8 o'clock. Helium rocks! Yeah. Also Friday and
Saturday,
two shows each, 7.30 and 10 o'clock. I was at Helium last week, so I guess I
missed.
They put your picture up there. They rock. They were like, Norm
McDonald's coming. And then the guys they had on were not so good. Oh, they're
comics?
They weren't so good. The MC was good. Yeah, yeah. You know, when the MC's
really good, and then the next act, and you're like, oh, the MC was better. Oh,
yeah.
That's not. Bring back him. Yeah. Bring the, how much will you get out
around Portland and do, like, occupy Portland material?
None. Zero. I'll go, like, I generally go down to the Coke machine.
That's it. Like, I remember when I, because I get the blessing of traveling a
lot, and my
dad, who never traveled anywhere, was just a, you know, farmer that never got
out of the
Ottawa Valley, but he would, when I was doing stand, starting stand-up, you
know, he'd say,
oh, you're in St. Louis. Did you see the arch, you know? And I'm like, yeah,
yeah, I saw it.
I never saw the arch. Out your window.
Like, yeah, I never saw anything past the, past the hotel bar. So, but I
pretended. I go,
yeah, I was, oh, it's something. Because my dad, like, he, if he went, he for
sure would go.
Walk around.
But I think you go around a little bit, right?
I like to walk around the city, yeah.
Yeah, you like to get, but it doesn't really help to, like, you don't want to
go, hey,
how about that mayor? He's a drunk. You know, you don't want to pander. Like, I
remember
one time I saw George Thurgood as a kid, right? You remember him?
Yeah, yeah.
And he did that song, one whiskey, one, whatever it was, bourbon, one beer.
Scott.
Yeah, something like that. But anyways, he changed one of the words, because he
was in
Ottawa. We were watching him in Ottawa, and he goes, come on and give me
another shot of
that Ottawa juice. Come on now. And we're like, what? Why'd you say that? You
ruined
everything. Like, we're trying to pretend we don't live in Ottawa. Like, you're
the cool
guy.
But you won't, like, none of your routine will be about, like, Portland or...
Well, I'll talk about, yeah, I'll talk about whatever's going on. Because I
like the
Occupy Portland thing, which Farley's all for now. So I'm going to talk about...
I'm all for it.
I'm going to talk about that, because that sounds ridiculous.
Are you pretty conservative, Farley?
Me?
Yeah.
No, I mean, a lot of people think I am, but, you know, I don't like politics. I
mean, I
really just, I don't like the conversations. They always boil down into
arguments, and I
just rather avoid it.
Your house...
It's not, it's, he is, like, political, but it's hard to be funny.
I am political, but...
It's hard to be funny. It's hard to, you know, it's a big mistake of comedians
to start
getting, having opinions.
Because all of a sudden, it's not funny anymore, you know what I mean?
So it's not like an actor or whatever who comes out and says, I support Barack
Obama. Once
you do that, you know, now you're into another realm.
No, actors, well, you already know actors are complete idiots. So it's like,
you know,
why would you even listen to them? It's the funniest thing to me as an actor,
because
he's like, listen to me about Iraq. I'm like, aren't you a... Don't you pretend
for
a living? Yeah. Like, what if you're pretending now? Plus, it's such an idiotic
job. You're
like, what? I'm going to listen to you because you're good at pretending to be
another person?
Do you learn nothing else? We've got the history of shaving. Chop, the producer
of the show,
I'm going to share. Where did it start, man? Way back in the caveman?
It was in the 1890s. Oh, wow. And they actually started shaving due to the lice
epidemic going
around. They wanted to curve that, so. Oh, well, that's why I shave now. Yeah,
I've got horrible
lice. Norm Macdonald came in here in a... That seems rather recent, doesn't it?
In the
years. 1890s, yeah. See, before that, no shaving. Hey, wait a second. That
doesn't make any sense.
When was Lincoln president? Well, he had a beard. Yeah, but he was remarkable
for having a beard.
The guys before him didn't have beards. George Washington didn't have a beard.
No, I know.
He had to shave. We had to double check that. Yeah. We're just testing you.
Your phone's going
off. My phone's gone. It's got an answer. Don't let that happen during your
stand-up. You know
what would happen. He's going to take the call right now. Norm Macdonald's
taking the call.
We'll just stand by. Wait for him. It's an important call for someone else. Oh,
there he goes.
I have a phone. This is my phone. Sorry about that, guys. I have a phone, right?
So I get the phone,
so the number, I guess, used to belong to a girl who didn't pay a lot of her
bills. So about every
fourth call I get is, hello, is Michelle there? And I go, no, she doesn't live
here. She doesn't live
here. And when will she be back? They all think I'm lying, like I'm covering
for Michelle. It's been
going on for four years. No way. And then it's like from every, like one's a
credit card,
one's a student loan. She was, this girl, this girl owes a lot of money.
This girl did not pay her bills. I think I went out with her.
My phone, I had, I was working at the Fresno Bee and Andy Katz was with me and
now he's on ESPN
as the college football guy. And I got Katz's cell phone when he left. So the
phone would ring
and it would be like Dean Smith. And I'd be like, who is this really? Like who's
messing
around? And it'd be like, where's Andy? Like these guys calling to want to know
what's
going on. Wow. Are you guys that in tune with sports? You got a UCLA sweatshirt
on you.
McDonald's. This is just an accident. I just get sweatshirt. I get cold. So I
got sweatshirts
and I don't know what's on them. Sometimes people come up to me. Like sometimes
there'll
be some Cleveland Barons or something. They'll go, yeah, I watched them. You
know, they were
defunct 30 years ago. I go, no, no, I just got it in a store. I just bought it
in a store.
Or I'll have like, if I, cause if I go to a gig and it's cold, I'll just buy a
shirt.
So sometimes it'll say whatever, you know, pit, you know, or something like
that.
So then I forget what I'm wearing. I'm walking down the street and people go,
what are we
going to do with that coach? And I go, huh? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I don't know. It's
a tough
one. Kevin Farley, growing up in your household with all the Farley boys, what
was that like?
Well, yeah, it was kind of like a frat house basically. It was weird for me.
You were in there. Yeah. Thank God. We adopted Norm. No, my mom and dad put us
in a basement.
So we had four. Okay. Awesome. Shouldn't you save this for a press conference?
No, wait, cause there was four. I mean, we had Chris, myself and John, and then
another
brother, Tom. So we had a basement to ourselves. And yeah, Chris had his own
section of the
house. Other people would call that a dungeon. It was, it was a dungeon. And
Chris had his
own little section of the dungeon. Yeah. And, but yeah, it was more or less a
dungeon. That's
when they fed you dog food. Yeah. Mom would just throw a bunch of dog food down
the stairs
and be like, go at it, fellas. Have fun. We're getting a lot of response, a lot
of requests
for you to do the boy band calculus. Okay. Calculus was a, yes. C