Name: Norm Macdonald on Politically Incorrect (May 1998) w/ Arianna Huffington, Paul Theroux & Kid
Uploaded: 2019-06-18T22:52:41.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald on Politically Incorrect (May 1998) w/ Arianna Huffington, Paul Theroux & Kid' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-06-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald on Politically Incorrect (May 1998) w/ Arianna Huffington, Paul Theroux & Kid' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-06-18. Transcript available.

Tonight on Politically Incorrect, from Saturday Night Live, Norm MacDonald.
From Chicken Clay, Kidd, Ariana Huffington, and novelist Paul Perou.
And now, the star of Politically Incorrect, Bill Maher.
Thank you very much, folks. You're awfully kind.
Oh, you're awfully kind. If only the president had this kind of kindness
directed toward him. I feel bad.
Well, President Clinton, you know, he's over in Europe trying to make diplomacy.
He's with the British Prime Minister at a big superpower summit.
And the poor guy, you know, what kind of president has to put up with this kind
of stuff where he meets the new British Prime Minister and the guy says to him,
It's so nice to meet you. I've heard so much about your penis.
I mean, what is going on in the world?
Well, the Clintons apparently really get along with Tony Blair, the British
Prime Minister, and his wife,
because they actually extended their trip. They were supposed to come home.
And they went out to an exclusive restaurant last night with the Blairs.
And they say they're very much like each other.
And apparently, Clinton and Blair are like each other, because they had a
typical friendly argument at the end of the meal about who would pick up the
waitress.
Now, there is some trouble in the country of Sierra Leone.
You know about this country? I thought it was the guy who knocked up Madonna.
But apparently, Sierra Leone is, no, it's in West Africa, and they had a coup
there.
And a lot of Americans are there.
And today, they started evacuating Americans.
And our military went in, our pilots went in.
They are rescuing women and children first, and then they are returning to have
sex with the remaining husbands.
That's the way our military...
Oh, stop it.
Now, if you're following the big Oklahoma bombing trial, it went to the jury
yesterday.
They are deliberating. People are on pins and needles.
Tim McVeigh, I don't think he helped his own case, because today he was heard
to say to his lawyers,
"Can we hurry this up? My bomb is double-parked."
I know.
Feel bad for Tim. I do, too.
One mistake, and people turn on you.
Well, here's good news we can end on.
You know, they measure the consumer confidence level in this country.
I don't know how they do it, but they have ways.
It is at the highest level in 28 years.
Apparently, consumers have a lot of confidence, to the point where economists
are actually worried about this now, because they...
A loose-thread, perhaps?
Something tickling to death?
No.
Hear me out.
Not that it's going to get much funnier than that, but...
But...
The consumer confidence level is too high.
That's what the economists are saying.
You're right. They're always pessimistic. That is funny.
But they are worried that people are so confident that they're going to put off
buying stereos and expensive sports cars,
because they think they can get laid on Charm alone.
Anyway, thanks for coming.
You were right. It's all from Satterhouse for your protection.
All righty. Welcome to the show. Let's meet our panel first.
He is a multi-talented actor, singer, songwriter, and he no longer cuts his own
hair.
Our buddy, Kidd.
Hey, thank you for doing this. Appreciate you stepping in.
He is the highly acclaimed author of The Mosquito Coast, Half Moon Street, and
St. Jack.
His newest is Kaolong Tong, Paul Theroux.
There it is.
Spice round. Thank you very much.
He will be appearing with Al Franken, June 9th, at the Toyota Comedy Festival.
Wonder where they got that idea.
In New York, our favorite Republican party girl, Ariana Huffington.
Hey, I got a royalty.
Thank you, baby.
And he is the anchor of Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update, Norm MacDonald.
Ah, Norm, the kids love you. Norm, the kids love you.
Okay.
All right.
I wanted to talk tonight about President Clinton's Education 2000 program and
how it would affect our allies.
No, I don't.
I want to talk about Paula Jones, and so do you.
And we talked about this Tuesday, but some things have happened.
And I don't know.
I think that he probably did something wrong, I'll be honest with you.
But we're at this point now where we're talking about distinguishing marks on
the president's genitals.
She's talking about bringing forth women, ten or more women, who are going to
testify to what something happened with them, too.
I believe we are at the point where the presidency is becoming a laughing stock.
And at some point, don't we have to say to this woman, look, you probably were
wronged.
Take one for the team.
We've got to start thinking about the country.
I'm just asking.
You mentioned that you said that she had a distinguishing mark.
No, he.
She said that there was a distinguishing mark on the genitals.
How many genitals has she seen?
The question is maybe she hasn't seen that many.
Maybe what she thinks is a distinguishing mark is like mine or, you know, Norm.
The idea that everybody could have it, like it could just be one of them giant
hairy warts.
My problem is that I don't believe that.
Maybe just ask Hillary whether she would recognize me.
Hillary.
But she might not recognize me.
She might not recognize me.
She might not remember.
She might not remember me.
But anyway.
Maybe she hasn't seen the presidential penis, you know.
It's possible.
It's possible.
I'm just throwing that out.
And he's the author.
He's the author guy.
Right?
You know.
I expect that for me too.
He's out the box.
My problem is that I don't believe her.
I just somehow her story doesn't ring true.
Because in it the president is decisive.
He knows what he wants.
He takes action immediately.
That's all the claim that we know.
I mean, I mean, it's decisive.
Well, in this instance, she's saying, in the hotel room.
I mean, normally, the president, you know, that we know, the president that we
know,
would basically have compromised and settled for a hand job.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
We're here.
We're here.
We're here.
We're here.
We're here.
We're here.
Could you two calm down?
We have comedians here.
I know, right?
You know what?
I think you brought up an important point, though.
At this point, in terms of taking one for the team, I think you have to
distinguish.
This is not a criminal proceeding.
It's like a civil proceeding.
I mean, so what's in question is money.
And I think in terms of that, I think, you know, let the president do what the
president
is supposed to do.
I mean, the president is like everyone else, but the president isn't like
everyone else.
The president is not the postman.
He's not the garbage man.
He's the president.
Yep.
He's got that button.
Can we let him concentrate on that?
Okay?
We'll deal with him later.
He ain't gonna have any money anyway, so.
But one of the questions is whether it's part of the presidential duties.
But everyone thought, it is part of the presidential duties, isn't it, to drop
your pants?
I mean, he just...
But he's certainly, in a long tradition of presidents, you're talking about
getting a
handjob, but I mean...
But his approval ratings...
I don't know how many...
How many times have people said that to you?
And we haven't been believed, okay?
But his approval ratings keep going up, which is further proof that American
women love
a bad boy.
The naughtier Clinton is, the more women love him.
Well, I think, like, sexual harassment is a very, like, it's a thing where you
have to
look at both sides, you know?
Like, to Paula Jones, it's a case of, like, you know, he was governor of
Arkansas, and he
used his position, you know, to harass her, and then now he's the president, he's
using
his position to cover it up.
And from Clinton's point of view, Paula Jones is probably just playing really,
really hard
to get.
All right.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We'll be back in a minute.
All right, we ran out of time, as usual.
We'll be back in a minute.
All right, we ran out of time, as usual.
We'll be back in a minute.
All right, we ran out of time, as usual.
We'll be back in a minute.
All right, we ran out of time, as usual.
We'll be back in a minute.
All right, we ran out of time, as usual.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We were talking about President Clinton's problems.
As usual, no one answered the question.
And I was asking whether, you know, with this situation, are we really crippling
this country?
Are we going to become a pitiful, pantless giant?
It depends on how far this is going to go.
And people are laughing at him.
I mean, he's on this trip.
He was laughed and mocked at in different countries.
Now, he's got three years left or more in office.
Can we afford this?
Maybe, maybe.
But it's possible.
Why is it impossible for someone to be human and also to be making political
decisions?
No one's laughing at him when he's signing an agreement, you know, NAFTA or he's
with Yeltsin.
They're only laughing at him when he's pretending not to have a deformed penis,
right?
But no one, as a legislator, he's above reproach.
I enjoyed the Bulls' heat game.
I didn't care if the guy bit some broad's back.
That's right.
Yes.
But it all depends on how far this is going to go.
I mean, are we going to have a police artist kind of do a sketch of the
president's genitalia?
But seriously, you can...
But if he does, if he does, I'd like to know, circumcised or uncircumcised?
Well, you see...
Because, you know, there was a recent study that...
But help him in his Israeli deliberations if he's not circumcised.
But beyond that, have you heard about the recent study that uncircumcised men
have more fun?
No, I haven't.
Anybody wants to...
Do you want to have an informal focus group here?
I agree with Norm.
I think we can enjoy him on both levels, which as a, you know, as a stick man
and also as a legislator.
And in the way that you can...
Marv, Marv Alpert is not, he's not less of a, of a, of a, of a, a newscast, of
a sportscaster, because he's an acute, doesn't matter. Does it matter? What do
you mean doesn't matter? You equate a sportscaster with the president? Why not?
I mean, they're both, they're both looking for airtime and ink, aren't they?
And I, personally, I think all of Clinton's opponents have a PhD, which is
President Hayton degree. Yeah. And that's what they have. I mean, it's true,
you have to be able to separate the two, as you said, as a legislator.
Later, as a world leader, I think he's, he's well respected. But I think his,
his indiscretions or whatever, I mean, I think that's a separate issue. And I
think. But Nixon was, was effective in a lot of the things he does. He was
brought down by his scandal in his second term. Reagan was effective. Different
kind of scandal. Different kind of scandal. Different kind of scandal. Reagan
had Iran-Contra. That's enough. But Nixon didn't have a dipstick problem. You
know who has it? Bill, Bill, Bill. This guy. Bill, Bill, what was this book
about?
Because of the book about again. You know what? I got to read that dirty thesaurus
that you have. No, no, but. You know what? A better example is the royal family.
The royal family. The royal family. They're being brought down by this, by this
kind of thing. But people think, they're human. They're human.
But they're not actually governing. They're just figureheads. They're people on
a stamp. This man is actually running the world. And people are not paying
attention to that because all they want to hear about is, don't give me another
one. But you know.
But what was interesting is that the news came out when he was in Paris. And of
course, in Paris, nobody would have cared. I mean, you had Francois Mitterrand,
before he died, who had an official mistress, an illegitimate daughter.
And when the press asked him about it, he said, air law, which vaguely
translated means, and so what?
Right.
And nobody mind it.
But I mind if he's hitting on this woman and she doesn't want to be hit on,
because that's sexual harassment. And that's, you know, the Anita Hill business.
Obviously, Clarence Thomas had something to answer for, we assume.
But there's no detail in this. There's no Coke can. You know, there's no Long
Don Silver.
There's just, you know, there's no, there's no, there's nothing really to get
your hands on.
No smoking.
No smoking.
No smoking penis.
We're going to take a break, and then we're going to talk about China.
All right, let's talk a little bit about China, because, um,
Paul, you are an expert. This is your book. As you can see, it looks like many
of the menus that you get in restaurants.
I said it had to look like a Chinese menu.
It really does.
It must look like that.
Exactly like a menu. Um, but I know you know a lot about it, and, uh, I don't,
but here's what I think.
Don't be silly. I, I heard you speaking Mandarin backstage.
Uh, Clinton just re-upped the most favored nation status, which some people
have said we shouldn't do.
They say we should break off relations with China because China admittedly has,
uh, you know, as bad a human rights record as Don King.
I don't know, just, it's just bad, but, China is a very isolationist country.
Historically, they built a wall. I don't know if you know that. Um, and if we-
That's the Berlin Wall.
No. No, no.
That's a different wall.
Oh, no.
That's in Egypt.
Um, and if we break off with them, I think they'll just say, "Well, the hell
with you," and go on doing what they're doing anyway.
I think the only way to bring them into the family of nations, and I know this
is what the president says, but not just this president, many others, is to
engage with them.
Why is that wrong?
It's not wrong. We owe them, we already owe them so much money, we can't break
off them. We have so many, uh, slave labors and little, little kiddies earning,
uh, ten cents a day to make, uh, tennis shoes, that we can't, that we owe them
a ton of money.
We can't break off. I mean, they're not-
Of course we can break off. Of course we can break off.
First of all, the president himself, in 1992, attacked President Bush for coddling
the butchers of Beijing. Do you remember that?
Well, that was during the campaign.
Now, here we are. He doesn't just, he doesn't just want to extend most favored
nation status permanently. He wants to toast them, celebrate them, honor them.
I mean, can't we just trade with them? Do we have to respect them in the
morning?
But the whole world, it's, it's tough. The whole...
I agree. I don't know why they're the most favored nation, but we do owe them a
ton of money. The fact is that the whole, they make stuff for the whole world.
Every Christmas decoration in the whole world is made in China.
Forget, forget Nike's, you know.
Well, that lets you know that the issue is money. Clearly the issue has to be
money. I was just recently, I was telling Ariana, I saw a documentary.
It really detailed the whole events in Tiananmen Square. I mean, and this was
some, this was some really deep stuff. And if anyone saw that, you know, they
would say, well, this is wrong. How can we support any, any regime or any
government that, that supports this?
It was like a, you know, two weeks of Kent State, you know, day and night. But
when it's not like, but clearly the issue is money.
Well, you approved of Tiananmen Square, so did Al Haig. Everyone's saying, well,
it doesn't make it right.
No, no, no, it's not right. I think it's despicable. I think it's an abomination.
I think it's an abomination. I don't think we should give them the most favored
nation. I agree with you.
But why not? Because if we break off, other people will trade with them and
they won't change.
Everyone trades, everyone trades with them.
Do you wish to think that we can change China?
No.
Any more than China could change us by making campaign contributions?
Do you know what's the percentage?
Do you know what's the percentage?
Well, no, we're bending, it's not just that we're not doing anything. We're
bending over.
Every, the whole world is bending over for them and saying, do it to me, okay?
It's not, it's not.
On that note, Norm, stop.
But it's a fact. It is a fact. It is a fact.
Because Clinton has a single faceted policy, which is just trade, nothing else.
But also, do you know what percentage of our exports goes to China? Just 2%.
So this is a big myth.
Our exports?
Experts, yes. The only, only 2%. That's not much.
And on top of it, please explain to me why we don't give most favorite nation
status to Cuba, Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos, but we give it to China.
It doesn't make any sense.
We give it to Kenya.
Because they got money.
We give it to Kenya.
Because they got money.
Cuba.
Books, it's books.
Just like, what about, you know, Saudi Arabia, they have human rights
violations there, but they have oil.
We don't even hear a peep out of that.
Well, that's where it's uneven. The policy is clearly uneven.
Right.
I mean, you'd think that, you know, someone should come out and say, this is
what it is.
But they won't.
You know what I find amusing is that no one knows.
People approve and say, you know, China Man Square, that's all right.
But they don't know how many people got killed.
They say, it's all right, you know, I might have killed a few.
But no one, even Kissinger, praying that he is, doesn't know how many people
got killed, but saying, it's okay.
Lee Kuan Yew of Singapore, they say, it's okay, you have to disperse the
students.
No one knows how many got killed.
Well, how many, Mr. Expert?
Well, I don't know.
That's the whole point.
If I knew.
I think why nobody knows, because people forget a very important thing.
The Chinese are a lot smarter than us.
So, it's hard to criticize.
But some things we excel at that they don't.
You know, I mean...
One thing they excel at...
I have never seen a Chinese guy in a porno.
You know what I mean?
I've got to take a break.
We'll do it.
All right.
Monday, we're going to have Dennis Miller, Mike Farrell, Ann Coulter, and Ann
Richards of Texas.
I would never lie to my parents.
That is a repeat.
After working for five straight months, the politically incorrect staff gets a
well-deserved break next week.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Please!
So, we may be off when the Tim McVeigh verdict comes in, and a lot of people
think he's going to be found guilty.
And they said they could send him to the gas chamber or the electric chair.
I wanted to ask, do you think that's a wise thing to send somebody to his death
who has a following out there to make him a martyr or not?
Yeah, I think make him a martyr.
Then when a lot of people...
You're a weird guy.
You're a weird guy.
And when they come out of the woodwork, when all these people come out of the
woodwork saying,
"What did you do to Tim?"
Machine gun them.
Oh!
Kind of like the Chinese.
More or less.
They shoot him in the back of the neck.
Oh, okay.
You can't treat the militia groups rationally and say, if they...

Norm Macdonald on Politically Incorrect (May 1998) w/ Arianna Huffington, Paul Theroux & Kid

Tonight on Politically Incorrect, from Saturday Night Live, Norm MacDonald.
From Chicken Clay, Kidd, Ariana Huffington, and novelist Paul Perou.
And now, the star of Politically Incorrect, Bill Maher.
Thank you very much, folks. You're awfully kind.
Oh, you're awfully kind. If only the president had this kind of kindness
directed toward him. I feel bad.
Well, President Clinton, you know, he's over in Europe trying to make diplomacy.
He's with the British Prime Minister at a big superpower summit.
And the poor guy, you know, what kind of president has to put up with this kind
of stuff where he meets the new British Prime Minister and the guy says to him,
It's so nice to meet you. I've heard so much about your penis.
I mean, what is going on in the world?
Well, the Clintons apparently really get along with Tony Blair, the British
Prime Minister, and his wife,
because they actually extended their trip. They were supposed to come home.
And they went out to an exclusive restaurant last night with the Blairs.
And they say they're very much like each other.
And apparently, Clinton and Blair are like each other, because they had a
typical friendly argument at the end of the meal about who would pick up the
waitress.
Now, there is some trouble in the country of Sierra Leone.
You know about this country? I thought it was the guy who knocked up Madonna.
But apparently, Sierra Leone is, no, it's in West Africa, and they had a coup
there.
And a lot of Americans are there.
And today, they started evacuating Americans.
And our military went in, our pilots went in.
They are rescuing women and children first, and then they are returning to have
sex with the remaining husbands.
That's the way our military...
Oh, stop it.
Now, if you're following the big Oklahoma bombing trial, it went to the jury
yesterday.
They are deliberating. People are on pins and needles.
Tim McVeigh, I don't think he helped his own case, because today he was heard
to say to his lawyers,
"Can we hurry this up? My bomb is double-parked."
I know.
Feel bad for Tim. I do, too.
One mistake, and people turn on you.
Well, here's good news we can end on.
You know, they measure the consumer confidence level in this country.
I don't know how they do it, but they have ways.
It is at the highest level in 28 years.
Apparently, consumers have a lot of confidence, to the point where economists
are actually worried about this now, because they...
A loose-thread, perhaps?
Something tickling to death?
No.
Hear me out.
Not that it's going to get much funnier than that, but...
But...
The consumer confidence level is too high.
That's what the economists are saying.
You're right. They're always pessimistic. That is funny.
But they are worried that people are so confident that they're going to put off
buying stereos and expensive sports cars,
because they think they can get laid on Charm alone.
Anyway, thanks for coming.
You were right. It's all from Satterhouse for your protection.
All righty. Welcome to the show. Let's meet our panel first.
He is a multi-talented actor, singer, songwriter, and he no longer cuts his own
hair.
Our buddy, Kidd.
Hey, thank you for doing this. Appreciate you stepping in.
He is the highly acclaimed author of The Mosquito Coast, Half Moon Street, and
St. Jack.
His newest is Kaolong Tong, Paul Theroux.
There it is.
Spice round. Thank you very much.
He will be appearing with Al Franken, June 9th, at the Toyota Comedy Festival.
Wonder where they got that idea.
In New York, our favorite Republican party girl, Ariana Huffington.
Hey, I got a royalty.
Thank you, baby.
And he is the anchor of Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update, Norm MacDonald.
Ah, Norm, the kids love you. Norm, the kids love you.
Okay.
All right.
I wanted to talk tonight about President Clinton's Education 2000 program and
how it would affect our allies.
No, I don't.
I want to talk about Paula Jones, and so do you.
And we talked about this Tuesday, but some things have happened.
And I don't know.
I think that he probably did something wrong, I'll be honest with you.
But we're at this point now where we're talking about distinguishing marks on
the president's genitals.
She's talking about bringing forth women, ten or more women, who are going to
testify to what something happened with them, too.
I believe we are at the point where the presidency is becoming a laughing stock.
And at some point, don't we have to say to this woman, look, you probably were
wronged.
Take one for the team.
We've got to start thinking about the country.
I'm just asking.
You mentioned that you said that she had a distinguishing mark.
No, he.
She said that there was a distinguishing mark on the genitals.
How many genitals has she seen?
The question is maybe she hasn't seen that many.
Maybe what she thinks is a distinguishing mark is like mine or, you know, Norm.
The idea that everybody could have it, like it could just be one of them giant
hairy warts.
My problem is that I don't believe that.
Maybe just ask Hillary whether she would recognize me.
Hillary.
But she might not recognize me.
She might not recognize me.
She might not remember.
She might not remember me.
But anyway.
Maybe she hasn't seen the presidential penis, you know.
It's possible.
It's possible.
I'm just throwing that out.
And he's the author.
He's the author guy.
Right?
You know.
I expect that for me too.
He's out the box.
My problem is that I don't believe her.
I just somehow her story doesn't ring true.
Because in it the president is decisive.
He knows what he wants.
He takes action immediately.
That's all the claim that we know.
I mean, I mean, it's decisive.
Well, in this instance, she's saying, in the hotel room.
I mean, normally, the president, you know, that we know, the president that we
know,
would basically have compromised and settled for a hand job.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
We're here.
We're here.
We're here.
We're here.
We're here.
We're here.
Could you two calm down?
We have comedians here.
I know, right?
You know what?
I think you brought up an important point, though.
At this point, in terms of taking one for the team, I think you have to
distinguish.
This is not a criminal proceeding.
It's like a civil proceeding.
I mean, so what's in question is money.
And I think in terms of that, I think, you know, let the president do what the
president
is supposed to do.
I mean, the president is like everyone else, but the president isn't like
everyone else.
The president is not the postman.
He's not the garbage man.
He's the president.
Yep.
He's got that button.
Can we let him concentrate on that?
Okay?
We'll deal with him later.
He ain't gonna have any money anyway, so.
But one of the questions is whether it's part of the presidential duties.
But everyone thought, it is part of the presidential duties, isn't it, to drop
your pants?
I mean, he just...
But he's certainly, in a long tradition of presidents, you're talking about
getting a
handjob, but I mean...
But his approval ratings...
I don't know how many...
How many times have people said that to you?
And we haven't been believed, okay?
But his approval ratings keep going up, which is further proof that American
women love
a bad boy.
The naughtier Clinton is, the more women love him.
Well, I think, like, sexual harassment is a very, like, it's a thing where you
have to
look at both sides, you know?
Like, to Paula Jones, it's a case of, like, you know, he was governor of
Arkansas, and he
used his position, you know, to harass her, and then now he's the president, he's
using
his position to cover it up.
And from Clinton's point of view, Paula Jones is probably just playing really,
really hard
to get.
All right.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We'll be back in a minute.
All right, we ran out of time, as usual.
We'll be back in a minute.
All right, we ran out of time, as usual.
We'll be back in a minute.
All right, we ran out of time, as usual.
We'll be back in a minute.
All right, we ran out of time, as usual.
We'll be back in a minute.
All right, we ran out of time, as usual.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We ran out of time, as usual.
We were talking about President Clinton's problems.
As usual, no one answered the question.
And I was asking whether, you know, with this situation, are we really crippling
this country?
Are we going to become a pitiful, pantless giant?
It depends on how far this is going to go.
And people are laughing at him.
I mean, he's on this trip.
He was laughed and mocked at in different countries.
Now, he's got three years left or more in office.
Can we afford this?
Maybe, maybe.
But it's possible.
Why is it impossible for someone to be human and also to be making political
decisions?
No one's laughing at him when he's signing an agreement, you know, NAFTA or he's
with Yeltsin.
They're only laughing at him when he's pretending not to have a deformed penis,
right?
But no one, as a legislator, he's above reproach.
I enjoyed the Bulls' heat game.
I didn't care if the guy bit some broad's back.
That's right.
Yes.
But it all depends on how far this is going to go.
I mean, are we going to have a police artist kind of do a sketch of the
president's genitalia?
But seriously, you can...
But if he does, if he does, I'd like to know, circumcised or uncircumcised?
Well, you see...
Because, you know, there was a recent study that...
But help him in his Israeli deliberations if he's not circumcised.
But beyond that, have you heard about the recent study that uncircumcised men
have more fun?
No, I haven't.
Anybody wants to...
Do you want to have an informal focus group here?
I agree with Norm.
I think we can enjoy him on both levels, which as a, you know, as a stick man
and also as a legislator.
And in the way that you can...
Marv, Marv Alpert is not, he's not less of a, of a, of a, of a, a newscast, of
a sportscaster, because he's an acute, doesn't matter. Does it matter? What do
you mean doesn't matter? You equate a sportscaster with the president? Why not?
I mean, they're both, they're both looking for airtime and ink, aren't they?
And I, personally, I think all of Clinton's opponents have a PhD, which is
President Hayton degree. Yeah. And that's what they have. I mean, it's true,
you have to be able to separate the two, as you said, as a legislator.
Later, as a world leader, I think he's, he's well respected. But I think his,
his indiscretions or whatever, I mean, I think that's a separate issue. And I
think. But Nixon was, was effective in a lot of the things he does. He was
brought down by his scandal in his second term. Reagan was effective. Different
kind of scandal. Different kind of scandal. Different kind of scandal. Reagan
had Iran-Contra. That's enough. But Nixon didn't have a dipstick problem. You
know who has it? Bill, Bill, Bill. This guy. Bill, Bill, what was this book
about?
Because of the book about again. You know what? I got to read that dirty thesaurus
that you have. No, no, but. You know what? A better example is the royal family.
The royal family. The royal family. They're being brought down by this, by this
kind of thing. But people think, they're human. They're human.
But they're not actually governing. They're just figureheads. They're people on
a stamp. This man is actually running the world. And people are not paying
attention to that because all they want to hear about is, don't give me another
one. But you know.
But what was interesting is that the news came out when he was in Paris. And of
course, in Paris, nobody would have cared. I mean, you had Francois Mitterrand,
before he died, who had an official mistress, an illegitimate daug