Name: Norm Macdonald pitches his book and records voice messages for fans
Uploaded: 2019-06-27T22:41:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald pitches his book and records voice messages for fans' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-06-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald pitches his book and records voice messages for fans' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-06-27. Transcript available.

I'm Norman Adelotho, based on a true story.
So Norm, we just want you to tell us why each of these groups should buy your
brand new book.
Gotcha.
Alright, so first one is Young Women.
Oh, Young Women should get this book because it's the story of a handsome man
with long blonde hair that rides on a horse.
Yeah, that kind of thing.
So the next is Truck Drivers.
Oh, Truck Drivers would love this book because, well, what it really is is a
travel brochure on where to get the best amphetamines.
So the next group of readers is A Guy Waiting Online at CVS.
Oh, A Guy Waiting Online at CVS?
Yeah, he'd love to read this book because it's a good book to be the last book
you ever read.
Great.
So the next group of readers are Encino men or men who have been frozen in ice
and just thawed out.
Oh, people who've been frozen in ice and just thawed out will love this book
because it guides them gently into the 21st century with our different mores
and norms.
You know, we realize how tough it is to be frozen in ice for five, six hundred
years.
Could you tell us why people who wear those Buzz Lightyear suits in Times
Square are going to love this book?
The people who wear the Buzz Lightyear suits in Times Square?
Yeah, yeah, they're a big group of readers for us.
They buy a lot of books.
Oh, oh yeah, they'll love this book because it has a foreword by Neil Armstrong.
Wolf that wandered into a bookstore, why they would want to pick up your book.
Oh, a wolf that wandered into a bookstore, why they'd want to pick up this book?
Well, wolves, you know, pick up all sorts of detritus.
But I guess the reason they'd really, I guess I could say this is the greatest
book since Call of the Wild.
If you like Call of the Wild or White Fang, you'll like base on a true story.
That's perfect.
We could really work with that for the wolves, Norm.
All right, last one.
This is a huge, huge demo for us.
Guests on a Dr. Phil episode about out-of-control teens.
They're going to love this book because it's about how adults really don't have
any business telling you what to do.
It's your life.
Hi, I'm Norm MacDonald, author of Based on a True Story.
And I'm going to be leaving some people some voice messages.
Hi, this is Norm MacDonald.
You've reached the voicemail box of Bill and Marcy.
Bill's not here.
He's got to go to work, you know, to support Marcy.
And Marcy, she's here eating bonbons, but she's not going to answer the phone.
It's 20 feet away, for God's sakes.
So you just give the message to me, Norm MacDonald, and I'll pass it on to them.
Hi, this is Norm MacDonald.
You've reached the voicemail box of Sam Lewis.
And Sam's not here right now.
He's, you know, how he's a referee.
Anyway, it was a big game tonight.
Hi, you've reached the voicemail box of Pat Reisinger or Reisinger.
We don't know.
But we think it's Reisinger.
But anyways, the point is, he or she is not here.
We don't know.
You guys know the gender.
Nowadays, who cares?
Hi, this is Norm MacDonald, and you've reached the voice mailbox of Jeff Fisher.
Not that Jeff Fisher that was the coach of the Titans, but just some guy.
But you know that.
How would you know the real Jeff Fisher?
But anyways, I'll get a message over to Jeff.
Did I say this is Norm MacDonald?
Because it is.