Name: Norm Macdonald on The Opie & Anthony Show (2011) Full Interview Ridiculous
Uploaded: 2019-07-04T22:19:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald on The Opie & Anthony Show (2011) Full Interview Ridiculous' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-07-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald on The Opie & Anthony Show (2011) Full Interview Ridiculous' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-07-04. Transcript available.

Norm Macdonald on The Opie & Anthony Show (2011) Full Interview Ridiculous

Like what, the mind of a comic and what makes them like that?
Well, we're done with you.
There he is.
Norm!
Did you get my fucking text about your show?
No.
I love it.
We're on the air.
It's okay.
Yeah, of course.
It's good.
They're greeting each other.
Oh, hey.
Norm MacDonald.
What's up, boys?
Have a good one.
I see you.
Come on.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I do my YouTube videos and stuff.
It's fun.
You know, you fuck off a little bit here and there.
Kevin Farley.
How you doing?
Good to see you.
Good to see you.
Take a seat.
I think we're kind of running out of seats.
Take the couch right there.
We'll lay a special, too, by the way.
Oh, my God.
Saw the special the other night.
We're not on the fucking radio.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We do that.
You can say fucking, fucking.
That's how we roll.
We're on the radio right now?
We just bring it in and let it roll.
That's how that works.
I know.
You're looking at the picture.
Colin's looking at a picture of Hitler.
That's my room.
I'm looking for different motifs.
That's your screensaver?
That's my screensaver.
I didn't put it on my cans, man.
You know Jim Norton?
Yeah, well, you saw Jim Norton.
Jimmy, Jimmy Norton.
You can see it, Norm.
See, we like bringing everybody in at different times.
The host of the show, the guests.
This is fun.
I saw you guys on the YouTube, you know?
I saw you and Jim, and you.
Yeah, yeah.
It was awesome.
Oh, you fun on the YouTube.
Yeah, you never watch fucking YouTube?
What the fuck?
No, it's fun with you.
Yeah, you watch the TV.
This fucking guy.
I know.
TV is no shit.
TV is like extinct now.
TV is for the old fuckers.
I watch the YouTube fucking face, all that shit.
Yes.
Hey, what about this new thing?
What's that?
No, it's called Colors.
Have you heard about it?
Oh, we were just talking about that.
Hey, I'm a fan of Colors.
We were just talking about that.
Isn't that fucking weird?
No, but it's only 150 yards.
Yeah.
People within 150 yards.
Yeah.
You got it yet?
I don't know.
It seems a little fucking weird.
It is weird.
Like a guy in your apartment building can see what you're doing, depending on
where he is.
Yeah, maybe you could figure out where a lady was, like, looking at the layout
of her apartment, and then maybe, I don't know.
I think it'll come in handy for...
I don't know what it is.
I think it'll come in handy for football.
Tell Colin what it is, man.
For football players on the field, because it's 150 yards, so he pretty much
covers the field.
Yeah.
And they could probably figure out what the other team's going to do based on
what they're doing with their color.
You don't watch a lot of football, right?
No, none at all.
150 yards.
Well, you know, you've got to consider the end zone.
Canadian football.
I was considering the end zones.
Oh, okay.
I got it.
You know, the entire field.
You're still off, though, a little bit.
Why?
How long are the end zones?
10, right?
It's got to be longer than 10.
No, it's not.
It's got to clear...
Canadian football?
No, no, no.
No, real football.
You've got the 100 yards, and then how wide is the end zone?
It seems about 10, right?
Yeah, let's go over to 10.
That's it?
So you were off by 30 yards.
30?
What about after there, but behind the end zone to the wall?
All right, now you're talking 150 yards.
What if they jump in the stands?
Yeah, I've seen that happen.
Give me a break.
Hold on, I've got to get this up.
So, Norm, you were on Saturday Night Live.
What a professional.
Yeah, until Colin showed up.
I know.
Colin took your gig.
He took my gig?
You took my apartment?
Did he take the apartment, too?
Yeah, I moved in the same building as Noah.
No way.
No, you really are a fuck.
Single white female.
No, there was one moment.
Colin probably doesn't remember it.
But I was walking to the elevator, and he was coming off the elevator.
Do you remember that?
What did it happen all the time?
No, I know.
This is a little more detail.
That time you took the elevator.
This is after I had left, and you had come on, and it was like, I don't know,
it was poignant
to me.
Oh, sort of a changing of position.
You had to shake Norm's hand, and he spit in your face.
Do you remember that time?
No, Colin was awesome.
You didn't have any animosity towards Colin after that.
Not towards Colin.
No, I loved Colin.
I heard you were taken off of that show because of the OJ situation.
I don't know.
I don't think it was really that.
You don't think that was it?
No, I don't really think it was that.
Because you gave OJ a little guff, and most people were just treating him like
a saint.
Yeah, but I know people said that and shit, but you know what I think it was?
It's because I didn't get laughs all the time and shit, and like, Ole Meyer was
watching
Leno, who would get laughs wall to wall every fucking night.
Yeah, but that isn't what it was about.
I know, but I can understand his point.
I kind of liked the delivery and the fucking very dry wit of that whole thing.
Well, the problem is, if one guy don't like you and he owns the cameras, you're
fucked.
Yeah, but I think it was also that Ole Meyer, when he actually would say
something about like,
OJ, like, you know, if you get pissed, then Norm would just say, all right,
fuck him,
and do like five more.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Other people would go like, hey, okay, I'll keep my gig.
Yeah, we were, yeah, we didn't listen to anybody.
And also, I don't think also we were listening to people within Saturday Night
Live, which was
probably a mistake, too.
You know, because Jim was, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
How about my impressive Jim that everybody hates?
Yeah.
I hate it, too.
How could they hate that?
It's great.
It's right on the money.
I don't even know who it is.
It sounds like them.
It's perfect.
Hey, man, who got a comedy award?
Anybody here?
Damn, I think one person did.
Huh?
Who?
You?
I'm saying the comedy awards.
No, the comedy awards.
You don't know about the comedy awards?
It was a big event the other night.
Big event.
Well, I wasn't there.
The Lifetime Achievement Award, Tina Fey, I think.
No, Eddie.
Eddie Murphy.
Well, that.
No, what did Tina get?
The Mark Twain Award.
Right.
How did you get that one?
You have to be as good as Mark Twain.
That's like, that's a dumb fucking award name.
I was nominated for him, but I didn't get anything.
You didn't get Mark Twain?
No.
You were nominated for anything.
I was nominated for a special?
Shut out of most consecutive roasts.
I was nominated for fucking network.
Yeah.
He doesn't like that network very much.
Yeah.
Thank you.
I did edge him out.
You were shut out of fucking roasts without me.
Why are you screaming at me?
If we both hate the same people, it's not each other?
Remember the time you two were getting in the elevator after that award show?
Colin fucking did you?
How do you do roasts, man?
That roast you did already was fucking awesome.
Oh, because they don't fucking bring me on as roasts.
Why?
I don't know.
They shouldn't be very funny.
They don't bring Jimmy on either.
They always want the new people.
Oh, hey, guess what?
There's a young girl that's middling attractive that swears a lot.
Let's get her.
What?
Is that the new fucking thing?
Yeah.
Sarah Silverman is hysterical.
Right.
Who's funnier than her?
Nobody.
No, except dudes.
Nobody.
But I think she's spotting these other ladies that they forget that she's funny
and they think
the whole point is just to be attractive and then talk about sucking cock.
You've got to show a lot of leg.
You've got to show a lot of leg with little skirts on and then, yeah, talk
about sucking
cock and manipulating balls with your hand and it's hysterical.
Bring back Phyllis Diller.
Some ugly old bag.
Rosemarie.
Rosemarie.
Those were the funny ladies.
Wow.
Whoa, that is old.
The funny ladies always used to be ugly old bags.
Yeah.
Or Roseanne, you know what I mean?
No one was funny.
When they would have a comedian on like, what's my line or something like that,
a comedian.
Comedian.
They never called comedians.
Now a chick can be called a comedian, but it was always a very funny, whenever
I'm at
a club and I hear, let's give it up for a very funny comedian.
I'm like, oh, time to take a piss, time to take a fucking piss.
I tell you, man, you guys got to get this tape.
I don't know if I ever show you this tape, but you know, everybody thinks they're
edgy
and all this shit.
I got a fucking tape, a DVD, a CD of LaWanda Page.
Oh, shit.
Oh, yeah.
Ann Esther.
Ann Esther.
This was from the fucking 50s or 40s or some shit.
And she's in Harlem and doing the filthiest stuff.
Like really fucking funny.
You can't even believe it.
You can almost imagine.
I washed my ass.
You can almost imagine because, yeah, Red Fox and her.
Peanut butter pussy.
Obviously.
All right.
What was that joke?
I'm sorry, son.
What was the joke?
Peanut butter pussy?
What'd she have?
What the hell?
Oh, God.
Easy to spread, something like that.
Easy to spread.
Who is LaWanda Page?
LaWanda Page.
Ann Esther.
Fucking funny as shit.
I like Red Fox and he told her he was going to slam her face into cookie dough
and make gorilla
cookies.
You can't say that anymore.
I saw one time he had a joke.
He said, man, I take one of those.
He goes, I saw this lady.
She's taking...
You got the voice, right?
I can't remember.
He goes, this lady, she's taking the male hormones and, oh, my God, she's an
ugly lady.
She had hair all the way from her neck all the way down to her dick.
That's not a good impression.
I don't know.
That works.
The joke's there.
Yeah.
You're fucking special.
I watched it the other night.
It's hilarious.
It's fucking great.
So good to see you back on TV like that.
Yes.
It was so fucking good.
It was fun.
And the thing about you, I don't know what it is with that voice of yours, when
I read
your tweets, everybody that I talk to also reads them in Norm's voice.
And it makes it that much funnier.
Everybody started, during the Oscars, we all start tweeting our shit during the
Oscars,
past Oscars.
And one of my buddies, Travis, actually retweeted and said, you got to follow
Norm MacDonald.
I'm like, I didn't even know you were on or shit, so I started following you.
And they were hilarious.
Like, when are you going to thank the computer?
Every fucking tweet.
When are you going to thank the computer?
Just shit like that is stuff that no one else was tweeting.
It's out of your mind shit.
I just found out about that tweeter shit.
It's great.
And you got so many followers really quickly and didn't have to pull a Charlie
Sheen with
it.
It was just funny shit, man.
But when you go to hit the send, you fuck for a second.
You go, wait, because it's just off the top of your head.
And it's right there, yeah.
And I don't do drugs or alcohols, thankfully, because I'm sure guys could
really fuck up and
say bad things.
They have.
They have.
Louis C.K. has had to delete entire threads of things he's Twittered.
Oh, yeah.
The worst thing is, too, and especially if you have a lot of followers.
Because that's what he does, though.
I mean.
Oh, yeah.
But sometimes even, I guess, like, he'll even feel bad about it and just go
back and
delete it.
A lot of times if you tweet something and you want to delete it, even a second
later, if
you have a lot of followers.
They got it.
It's already been retweeted and you can't delete theirs.
So, you know, if you've got ten followers and you write something about, hey,
those Japanese
people, by the way.
And then they can retweet it exponentially.
Yeah, and then it just goes on and on.
That shit was censorship, man.
He made fun of a nuclear breakdown.
You know, we should be able to talk about anything, man.
It's America.
Norm's tweets, like, some of them are not supposed to be funny.
They're, like, profound, like, poetic.
Yeah, I deleted a lot of that.
Because I'd read my responses and they'd go, you fucking asshole, you're funny.
I'm like, I don't know.
That's just it.
You can't stop being, like, if you're funny and then you've got, like, a
serious comment.
Like, I would tweet some ridiculou