Name: Norm Macdonald on CONAN TeamCOCO Podcast (2014) Full Interview
Uploaded: 2019-07-08T15:06:58.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald on CONAN TeamCOCO Podcast (2014) Full Interview' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-07-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald on CONAN TeamCOCO Podcast (2014) Full Interview' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-07-08. Transcript available.

Norm Macdonald on CONAN TeamCOCO Podcast (2014) Full Interview

From Conference Room F on the Team Cocoa.com headquarters, it's the Conan
Podcast.
And now, Aaron and Blair.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome once again to the Team Cocoa Podcast.
How's everyone doing? My name is Aaron.
My name is RJ. Today we have an actor, a comedian, one of my all-time favorites,
Norm MacDonald.
Norm MacDonald.
How's it going?
RJ, how was it nice of you to say?
It's going great, man.
Nice of you to come.
Yeah, nice of you to come.
How are you fellas doing?
We're all right.
Great job on the show.
Yeah, it was awesome.
I loved it. I always loved to go on Conan.
It was awesome.
And, you know, there's this big thing where, and you talked about it on Conan,
where there's a campaign for you to be the host of The Late Late Show.
Yes, sir.
I would love that.
That would be incredible.
I would love that, too.
It would be amazing.
And what, now, and you did a little bit on the show tonight for it, but what do
you think you would be like as the host of The Late Late Show?
I would like to, I don't know what it would be.
But I remember when I was in high school, a late night with David Letterman
showed up.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, my God.
I'm sure you guys remember, too.
Life-changing.
It really was life-changing.
Absolutely.
And now I see kind of a bunch of identical shows, and I think, wow, this is the
perfect time to do, like, Anarchy.
Yeah, get in there, just do something weird.
Yeah, punk.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
And there's no one better.
No one better than Norm MacDonald.
How would yours be different?
I like punk.
I like outlaw country.
So that's my background, and I don't like structure.
Yeah, awesome, man.
I can get into this business and wear a f***ing tie.
Exactly.
You know, pointy shoes.
And who would be your, who would you say, like, is an idol besides, I mean, it
doesn't even have to be a human being, but who's on TV or has been on
television, who you would kind of idolize?
Oh, you mean a talk show host?
A talk show host.
Well, I loved, well, David Letterman was the guy I loved the most of all time.
But before that, when I was a little boy, I would watch The Tomorrow Show, and
it was amazing.
Is that Tom Snyder?
No, who's that?
Tom Snyder.
Tom Snyder, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He was younger than me, so he had a show, The Late Late Show.
He was the first one to follow Letterman.
Yeah.
But he was a broadcaster.
But it was cool, because people didn't stay up that late, you know?
So it was at 1230, and he would smoke a cigarette in the dark, and there would
be cigarette smoke, and it would be super close-ups in the dark black.
And he would interview his guests, and you got the feeling that only you were
watching.
Right.
You know that feeling?
Yeah, absolutely.
And you got a Letterman, too, like, am I the only one?
You know, this is just for me, and the cool guys, you know?
Absolutely.
I remember as a kid watching Tom Snyder, and just his laugh was just like, ha,
ha, ha, these huge teeth.
I was like, Johnny, it was coming out of me.
I would sit really close to the TV, just these giant teeth.
Right.
A rainbow teeth.
What we are losing is broadcasters, because Snyder passed on, I don't know, 10
years ago or something.
Yeah.
Regis got pushed out for a football player.
Yeah.
It was ridiculous.
Oh, that's right.
Ridiculous.
I mean, you talk about ageism or something.
Here's Regis, the funniest guy around.
I know.
And Larry King, a fantastic interviewer.
Yeah.
But those guys are a dying breed, because, you know, they came up in radio, and
they know
every city and all this.
You know, they're just a different type of people.
Absolutely, yeah.
Different animal.
They're not like a comedy writer or something.
They were like, when it meant something to be a broadcast.
It meant something, yes.
It's funny, when you look back at the old days, they were professionals.
And, you know, I look at an old YouTube clip of Bob Hope talking to Jack Benny.
I saw one last night, which was my favorite.
I watched, you know, I have a thing where it's my favorite stuff.
Oh, yeah.
Like bookmarks or whatever.
So Jack Benny brings out Bob Hope, and he says, Bob, you are America's favorite
comedian.
And then Bob Hope goes, oh, no, Jack, you are America's favorite comedian.
And then Jack Benny goes, I stand corrected.
That's awesome.
But these guys, you know, they were suits, and they were in control.
They present themselves.
They were men.
Yeah.
And they were 30.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then we're all bums, you know.
That is interesting.
Back in the day, everyone seemed like super powerful on TV.
Oh, yes, absolutely.
And now it's just a bunch of bums.
Yeah, it is.
A bunch of bums.
And, you know, like, I think the podcast thing is fantastic because I always
wanted to be a sportscaster.
So when I was young, I'd just do it in my basement like Rupert Pupkin, you know.
But I thought, boy.
Less kidnapping, maybe.
But, boy, I thought if I had a podcast.
Yeah.
What I think is great about podcasts is, for guys that want to be broadcasters,
is you have no audience, but you do have an audience.
Absolutely.
So it's not like talking into a ham radio, you know, that no one will hear.
But very few people hear, but still people hear.
Yeah.
And you can get that Malcolm Gladwell 100,000 Hours thing, you know.
Absolutely.
Yeah, become an expert.
And get real good at it.
Absolutely.
So it's a wonderful time for anybody to do that, you know.
And it doesn't take a lot of money either.
And that's the other thing.
Nothing.
It's free.
It's free, yeah.
So you really only need to buy, what, this is probably, I don't know, $10
million.
Worth of equipment here, I think, for Radio Shack.
Yeah, at least.
But, yeah, and then you can get on the air and practice a broadcast.
I love the democracy of YouTube.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It's just fantastic.
Like, I wonder how SNL can compete, you know.
Because when you think about it, okay, SNL has 20 writers, and Funny or Die has
300 million.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
And you only want to put it on.
Yeah.
So if one guy has one, he can just have one funny idea.
Yeah, exactly.
For his whole life.
Absolutely.
And I don't know how on earth they, because anybody who shows me a clip, it ain't
from
Saturday Night Live.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
That's true.
Absolutely.
It's from a guy in Albuquerque and his buddy.
Yeah.
And I f***ing love it.
Yeah.
And then, and literally like 50 million people can see it.
Yeah.
It's just mind boggling.
I f***ing love it, and I love also that I don't know who they are, so.
Yeah.
So if it's, that's why I like in movies when you don't know who the f*** is.
Yeah.
There's no like preconceived thing, like, oh, that's Tom Hanks being Tom Hanks.
It's just a guy being awesome.
Exactly.
You have no idea.
And I don't know if you guys have noticed this, but I feel there's like eight
actors,
and they're all in each other's movies.
I totally agree.
I totally agree.
It's just like, now it's Tom Cruise in a giant robot suit.
Now it's Tom Cruise with a jet pack of the future.
Now it's Tom Cruise, you know, it's just like, it's the same thing.
And I'm like, goddamn, I'm trying to suspend my disbelief over here.
It's like, everybody's in each other's head.
I love when they do like cameos, and you're like, I don't think you're big
enough for a
cameo.
Yeah.
I don't want to name anybody, but you know what I'm saying.
I don't mean to go off on Tom Cruise, but how old is that guy?
I had no idea.
He doesn't age, but he's with Emily Blunt in that new movie.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
I don't know.
It's weird.
Isn't he like 60?
Yeah, as though, you know, I remember Paul Newman.
Yeah.
And, you know, he kept going at age, but it was believable.
Like, you'd be with a girl like 30 years, his junior.
You'd believe it, you know?
Sure, yeah.
And there was a, you remember about Schmidt?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Nicholson, yeah.
So, Nicholson is in the bed at the beginning of the movie, and he wakes up, and
he turns,
and it's the woman from Nebraska.
It's the old lady.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
And everybody laughs, right?
Yeah, yeah.
But they're the same age.
So, in real life, that's who Jack Nicholson would be with.
Yeah, exactly.
It makes perfect sense.
Yeah, yeah.
And the movie's, oh, never.
Oh, yeah, exactly.
That's hysterical.
Yeah, yeah.
I felt sorry for the lady when she was at the premiere.
Huge laugh.
Yeah, huge laugh.
Just a single tear.
Same age.
On her face.
That's hilarious.
Exactly.
Wait, speaking of actors, should we do the actor's studio questions?
Oh, yeah.
All right, so speaking of, so, Dirty Work, amazing movie.
Unbelievable.
Yes, thank you.
It's great.
Who are those whores slash who are those women?
One of my favorite lines ever.
So, we thought, you know, we would love to see one inside the actor's studio.
It'd be amazing.
I don't know if it's going to happen.
We're all pulling for it to happen.
But Lipton gives, you've seen Inside the Actor's Studio.
Yes, of course.
Yeah, so he's got the quiz at the end.
Yeah, by Jar Jar Boulin.
That's right.
Do you mind if we give you the quiz here?
Is that okay?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, you're ready.
Argy, you want to go first?
Sure, sure, sure.
What is your favorite word, Norm Macdonald?
Now, an answer, honestly, it doesn't have to be funny.
This is supposed to be, this is as if you're on Inside the Actor's Studio.
Goodwill.
Ooh, goodwill.
All right.
Okay.
All right, what is your least favorite word?
African-American.
Really?
All right, perfect.
All right.
What turns you on creatively, spiritually, or emotionally?
These are the questions?
These are the f***ing questions.
I don't remember them.
Yeah.
Say that one again.
What turns you on creatively, spiritually, or emotionally?
Creatively, I read every single day when I wake up.
When you wake up?
Whoa.
Yeah.
I read two hours of Leo Tolstoy.
So that's creative.
Is that true?
Yes.
Oh, that's awesome.
Wow, that's awesome.
So that's creatively.
All right.
You should do it.
Yeah, I mean, you should do it.
It's hard to read when you wake up.
My eyes are like, oh, I can barely see.
Oh, well, yeah.
See, I can't do it at night because I just fall asleep.
Oh, okay.
Oh, yeah.
There you go.
Exactly.
That's when I read at night, and I can never remember any of the books that I
ever read.
So I read the same page 50 times.
And then, after I do that, I listen to Billy Joe Shaver, who I consider the
best writer of music.
Whoa.
And I was mentioned, I meant to ask, I meant to tell Conan he should have him
as a guest because he's a fascinating guy.
We'll pass him along.
Absolutely.
Billy Joe Shaver.
Yeah, he's considered the greatest songwriter.
Bob Dylan considers him the greatest songwriter.
Awesome.
But he wrote, Hoggy Tonk Heroes, wrote everything, Waylon Jennings.
But he's the real outlaw.
I just bought a four-CD set of Waylon Jennings.
Oh, really?
Yeah, it's awesome.
Oh, he is amazing.
I never really listened to him.
He's unbelievably great.
That voice.
Holy s***.
He has an awesome voice.
It's insane.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
So check out Billy Joe Shaver because his stories are unbelievable because he
was the true outlaw.
Yeah.
And he's 75.
Just last year, he shot a man in the face.
What?
Is that true?
That's not true.
Two years ago.
And he went to...
Yeah, it wasn't last year.
Yeah, it wasn't last year.
He did shoot him in the face, but it wasn't...
Yeah, but he was old, you know.
Oh, my God.
Because I was in a bar fight, and that was it.
That's the way...
But he got off.
He didn't kill the guy.
And when he got off, he said, that guy owes me a bullet.
Is that true?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dude, that guy's unbelievable.
Oh, yeah.
The guy's the best.
Holy crap.
I've been telling everybody that you've got to get this guy because his songs
are insane, insanely good.
That's awesome.
And he's a great singer, and his stories are unbelievable.
Holy crap.
Oh, my God.
Unbelievable.
So, anyways, there was...
That was...
So, that was creatively, spiritually.
Now, emotionally.
What turns you on emotionally?
Wait a minute.
We didn't talk about spiritually.
Oh, spiritua