Name: Norm Macdonald vs Jamie Kennedy - Million Dollar Password (2009) w/ Regis Philbin
Uploaded: 2019-07-22T12:35:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald vs Jamie Kennedy - Million Dollar Password (2009) w/ Regis Philbin' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-07-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald vs Jamie Kennedy - Million Dollar Password (2009) w/ Regis Philbin' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-07-22. Transcript available.

Norm Macdonald vs Jamie Kennedy - Million Dollar Password (2009) w/ Regis Philbin

This is Million Dollar Password, with your host Regis Philbin, and from Ghost
Whisperer,
after Jamie Kennedy and comedian Norm MacDonald.
Thank you. Thank you very much, everybody.
Welcome to Million Dollar Password, the biggest battle of words in America.
We've got a great game, fantastic celebrities.
We got one million dollars. Yeah.
He's one of the fastest rising comedians we have in the business, Jamie Kennedy.
Nice to have you here, Jamie. Good to see you, Regis.
You've got an experiment show on MTV, you've got Ghost Whisperer on CBS.
CBS we're doing, I used to do the experiment show, and, uh, yeah, people really
didn't take me seriously when I did the show.
A lot of pranks?
Well, I, well, the problem is doing that show, I, I, like, I was roller skating
the other day.
Yeah.
Long story short is I hurt my leg, I asked some guy to help me, and he's like,
"Oh, my God, are you all right?"
He's like, "Oh, Jamie Kennedy, dude, where are the cameras?"
Weird.
And you were really hurt.
I was really...
Son of a gun.
I...
That's funny.
All right, Jamie, who are you playing with today?
I'm playing with my friend, Michael Preece.
Michael Preece, yeah.
All right, Michael Preece is from a small town outside of Chicago, right?
Yes, Tinley Park, Illinois.
And what do you do for a living, Michael?
I am a radio traffic reporter.
Oh, you're one of those guys.
Oh, yeah, and you got that big voice, that commanding voice.
Something like that, I've been told.
Let's hear a little bit of it right now.
All right.
Coming inbound on the Edens, 35 minutes from Lake Cook to the junction.
Outbound only takes you 22.
Kennedy inbound, 30 minutes from O'Hare.
It's 20 from the junction to downtown.
And these people from Los Angeles, they have no idea what I'm talking about.
Isn't it something?
All right.
Hey, here we are.
Ah, what am I going to do?
What am I going to do?
One of the most popular guys here with us are on Saturday Night Live recently
developed
a passion for polka.
Here he is, Noah McDonald, everybody.
Right?
So, polka is real hard right now.
And it looks like you're kind of addicted to it.
Do you like it a lot?
Yeah.
I love polka, and I actually learned most of what I know from a fellow
celebrity, Kenny Rogers.
Oh, no kidding?
Yeah.
You don't want to fold them?
No want to hold them?
Oh, yeah.
No want to walk away.
The most embarrassing thing is knowing when to run.
Anyway, you look very handsome tonight.
Norm, got a new suit?
Uh, no.
This is the suit I wore on Millionaire.
It looks familiar to me.
Tell me about this pretty lady you're with here.
I'm going to let you guess her name.
Regis, I'm going to give you a clue.
Her name is Audra Big?
Small.
Yes!
There you go.
Audra Small.
So, Audra, tell us about yourself.
Where are you from?
I'm from Chandler, Arizona.
And you're married?
I am married.
In fact, today is my 10th wedding anniversary.
Oh, is that right?
Well, congratulations.
Okay, everybody.
Great to have you all here.
Why don't we get started?
Now, this game is all about guessing passwords from one-word clues.
No hyphenated words, no two-word clues.
If you do, you're going to hear this.
No, you don't want to hear that.
Okay, so now as you know, only one contestant can play for the million dollars.
So, we start with an elimination round.
Everybody gets a turn giving and receiving clues.
In each game, you'll have 30 seconds to get five passwords right.
The contestant who ends up with the most passwords, of course, goes on to play
for $1 million.
Okay, everybody.
We're all set.
Let's play Password.
All right, Michael, you're up first.
And Jamie, you're going to start out giving the clues.
Everybody set there?
Yeah, it looks like you are.
Here we go.
30 seconds on the clock to get five passwords.
And your time starts now, Jamie.
Striped.
Net clue.
Animal.
Zebra.
Married.
Divorced.
Won.
Single.
Right.
Backseat.
Entry.
We're on that path.
Next.
Price.
Cost.
Menounos.
Michael, you got four passwords.
That's good.
That's good.
That's good.
You're doing good.
Off to a good start.
To go over here to Audra right now.
Norm giving the clues.
Are you ready, Norm?
Yes, sir.
All right, 30 seconds on the clock and your time starts now, Normie.
Pork.
Knife.
Other.
Spoon.
Stradivarius.
Clue.
Fiddle.
Violin.
Good.
Friday.
Saturday.
Geek.
Nerd.
Wow.
Barbecue.
Grill.
Good.
Round one.
Very, very close, too.
Audra, round it up with five.
Very well done, Norm.
Yes.
And, uh, Michael, of course, you have four.
He's serious.
This time, the contestants are gonna give the clues, and we'll see how good you
are at that.
Yes.
Michael, you're gonna go first.
No pressure.
Are you ready?
Ready as a celebrity.
We have 30 seconds on the clock, and your time starts now.
Massachusetts.
State.
City.
Austin.
Black.
White.
Bird.
Crow.
Yes!
Duo.
Say again.
Duo.
Next.
Duet.
Together.
Three.
Two.
Pass it.
Pass.
Dictionary.
Sars.
Reference.
Dictionary.
Oh, my gosh.
Geez.
Jamie.
Jamie.
Oh.
Looking for encyclopedia on the dictionary one, but on the other one, he's a
duo.
He did everything he could to make you say trio, and you wouldn't say it.
I, I, I, I just, I don't know, I heard duet.
My brain is off.
Ugh.
Anyway.
Serious.
Michael, you've got a total of six right now.
And Audra has five.
And right now we're gonna go back to Audra and Norm.
Audra, you'll be giving the clues now on this one.
You've got 30 seconds on the clock, Audra.
You can just start now.
Over.
Thunder.
Good.
Apple.
Orange.
Banana.
Fruit.
Nectarine.
Peach.
Good.
Oh, got it.
Bar.
Pass.
England.
Pup.
Good.
Mine.
Mine.
Yours.
Good.
Sword.
Saber.
Bigger.
Scimitar.
Protect.
Knife.
Oh, she's got a shield.
Shield.
Shield.
Shield.
You wound up with four.
You got a total of nine.
That's okay.
That's good.
She's got nine.
He's got six.
Halfway through, we're gonna switch things around.
Keep everything fair and square.
Celebrities, please swap your sides.
Did they stand before?
All right, man.
We'll catch up, man.
We'll catch up, man.
We'll catch up, man.
You're like this.
Michael, let's see if you're gonna click now with Norm, you know?
He's been very smooth so far.
Norm, you're gonna give the clues here.
Yes, sir.
Let's put 30 seconds on the clock and let's start all over again.
You start now, Norm.
- Paparazzi. - Tenor.
- Place. - Opera.
- Filth. - Garbage.
- Joe. - Dirt.
- Green pool. - Oil.
- Water. - And?
- Vinegar. - Good.
- 12. - 13.
- O'clock. - Noon.
- Bird. - Flight.
- One. - Next.
- Next. - Lake.
- Oh, good call. Flamingo. Flamingo.
What, you had a good run there.
How do you feel, Noon? Strong?
- I should have said pink, obviously. I should have said pink.
- Well, that would have been a good clue, too.
Anyway, you wound up with ten points over there, Michael.
That's pretty good. Audrey, you've got nine points.
You're back with Jamie right over here.
Okay, Jamie, you're giving the clues.
Thirty seconds on the clock, and you start now.
- East. - West.
- Dead. - Alive.
- Good.
- Bull. - Horn.
- Prostitute. - Hooker.
- Next.
- Cage. - Bird.
- Bone.
- Animal.
- Marrow.
- Brink.
- Livers.
- Gingles.
- Well, Jamie, you could have said Adam's Rib.
- Adam's Rib.
- Adam's Rib.
- Who knows that?
- That's right.
Who remembers Adam?
- Adam's Rib.
- Adam's Rib.
- I want somebody to say stud, say, "Look at me."
Something like that, you know.
All right.
Audra, on that round, you've got a couple.
At least you wound up with a total of 11.
- All right.
- Very close right now.
Audra's got 11.
Michael has got 10.
Can't get closer than that.
And this is the last round coming up right now.
The trailing contestant.
We give, in this case, Michael, the opportunity to go first.
You're giving the clues.
Michael, you need as many passwords as you can get.
30 seconds on the clock.
Time starts now.
- Billionaire?
- Billionaire.
- Yes!
- Script.
- Word.
- Script.
- Words.
- Uh-uh.
- Pass it.
- Christmas.
- Tree.
- Drink.
- Punch.
- Creamy.
- Eggnug.
- Deity.
- God.
- Good job.
- Fam.
- Succeed.
- School.
- Pass.
- Pass it.
- Script.
- Book.
- Looking for a screen player.
Screen player.
That's all right.
Norm, the other word was flunk.
The last word was flunk, yeah.
Anyway, you picked up three points.
That's not bad.
You got the total in 13.
Audra's got 11 points.
Audra, you need at least three now to win this thing.
And if you win, you're going to be playing for a million dollars.
30 seconds on the clock, and your time starts now.
- Hand.
- Foot.
- Great.
- Pass.
- Protected.
- Nestled.
- Celebrity.
- Pass.
- Person.
- Pass.
- Truth.
- Lies.
- Good.
- Need one to win.
- Dollar.
- Bill.
- Sling.
- Good.
- Cheddar.
- Dollar.
Bill.
- Benjamin.
- Buck.
- Buck.
- Buck.
- Buck.
- Buck.
- Buck.
- Gets a tie, which is good.
That's exciting.
- All right.
- 13.
- 13.
- I want to go to the final round.
- No, all of a sudden, the young Jamie's falling apart here.
- Round up with a tie, 13-13.
Now, to break the tie, we're going to play classic password.
Now, here's how it works.
Listen, Jamie.
We show both contestants the same password.
Audra, you won the coin flip, so you're going to go first.
You'll give Jamie a clue.
If you don't get a correct answer, the same word will then cross over to
Michael and he'll have a chance with Norm.
The word will go back and forth until we have a winner.
Everybody got that?
Sure you do.
So, Audra, get ready.
Here is the password.
Fast.
Quick.
Michael.
Telephoto.
Lens.
Audra.
Focus.
Photography.
Photography.
Michael.
Closer.
Zoo.
Got it.
That's it.
The winning word.
is our winner. Michael going out to play for $1 million. But who's he gonna
play with, Jamie or Norm? We'll find out when we come back.
Welcome back, everybody. Yes, we're here with Michael Brees from Tindley Park,
Illinois, who's about to play for $1 million. A lot of money, Michael. Oh, boy.
A lot of money, baby.
Let me tell you something, Michael. You win this, and you get your own talk
show on radio. Forget reporting the directions for everybody else in the
traffic, right?
Exactly. I can buy my own station. There you go, baby. Yeah. Now, in the
elimination round, you won the majority of your points with one of our
celebrities, and that celebrity was Norm MacDonald right here.
Norm is about to begin a world tour of comedy. Yes, that's right. Where are you
going? I'm going to, uh, starting out in Cleveland, then I'm going to Boston, I
think Atlanta, then Tallahassee. International as well? It's all in America.
Yeah. You want to play it safe, huh? Well, I thought calling it a world tour
would make me sound like a big shot.
Well, you are a big shot to me, Norm, and a bigger shot to him right now. Yes.
All right, you have to make a choice now.
Michael, do you want to give Norm the clues, or do you want him to give the
clues to you?
Regis, I'm going to give. You're going to give? I'm going to give.
Okay. Now, here is the road to the million dollars. You start off playing for $10,000.
You go then to $25,000, then to $50,000, $100,000, $250,000, all the way to the
million dollars.
Yes, Michael. Now, Michael, listen to me. You may leave with the money after
completing any level, but if you continue, you risk losing what you have made.
However, if you win at least $25,000, you can't leave here with less than that.
But if you're really good and you make it all the way to $250,000, that's going
to be yours to keep no matter what happens. All right?
All right. All right. All ready to go. He's ready. Here's how the game works.
Each step of the money ladder, you'll have a total of a minute and 30 seconds
to get five passwords correct.
But you're limited to using just three clues for each password. You can pass on
a word in this round, but once you pass, remember, that word will not come back
into play. It's gone. It's gone for good.
As you climb the money ladder, remember, each level, the game is going to get
harder and tougher. You got all that, Michael?
I think I got it.
Oh, you got it. Okay. Let's get going right now. Let's play Million Dollar Password.
Here we go.
I feel taller.
All right. You need five passwords 