Name: Norm Macdonald Interview w/ Craig Ferguson (May 2011) Comic Geniuses at work
Uploaded: 2019-12-30T18:08:14.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Interview w/ Craig Ferguson (May 2011) Comic Geniuses at work' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-12-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Interview w/ Craig Ferguson (May 2011) Comic Geniuses at work' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-12-30. Transcript available.

Please welcome Norm Macdonald, everybody!
Hi, Norm!
You all in?
Yeah, yeah!
What a crowd!
Hey, Norm!
Yeah, they love you, Norm.
They love you.
They love you.
No, you?
Alright, that's enough.
That's enough.
You're making Norm nervous now.
He's getting nervous now.
But it's great to see you, but I haven't seen you in such a long time.
Yeah, I know, man.
I used to...
I used to have...
When you used to do the Drew Carey...
What?
Give him a chance!
No.
No, listen, before he...
Craig used to be on a show called The Drew Carey Show.
Yeah, that's right, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you did the show right next door.
You had the Norm Macdonald show right next door.
And then I remember you were like...
We had trailers and I'd always be in my trailer.
I like to go to my trailer and smoke cigarettes.
Yeah, that's right, yeah.
And then you'd be in your trailer and you'd be writing movies and then
directing movies.
Yeah.
And then you'd be writing books.
Yeah, yeah.
It's 'cause I was trying to not smoke.
No.
But people...
People are waylaid by your...
By your laid-back image.
They don't realize what a furnace of ambition you are.
Hey!
That's true.
I am.
I zig when they zag.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Listen, it's good.
You don't smoke anymore.
You look, like, healthy.
Oh, no.
I quit smoking, yeah.
I read that on the side of the thing.
What did you say?
It's dangerous?
It's dangerous.
It can kill you.
No!
No!
Yeah, I realized, like, I was smoking all the time.
And, uh, it's like, um...
It's like, uh, you smoke and you don't even get high.
And, uh...
Well, you can't, you can't...
They're not mutually exclusive.
You can get high and smoke.
It's not like you have to make a choice.
No, I'm saying the cigarettes do not...
Or get you high?
Yeah.
Well, you can...
There's a substance you can put in them, though, if you want.
Oh, yeah, no.
I don't do drugs or alcohol or anything.
Not as you are.
I thought you were an alcoholic.
Gosh, Norm!
No, but that's cool, because you're recovering.
Well, slowly, yeah.
In fact, one of the heaviest nights I ever had drinking was the Crazy Horse Strip
Team.
In Adelaide, in South Australia.
I'll tell you about booze, though.
I had never drank.
I drank three times in my life.
And the second time I drank, I was, like, 17, and I was in a bar,
and I was drinking, and then a guy handed me these pills, and I ate them and I
drank, you know?
Yeah.
I know exactly what you're talking about.
And then I blacked out.
This is going perfectly so far, yeah.
So then I woke up, and this is only my second time drinking.
I woke up and I was in a rehab, and what had happened is I had a guy that was
an actual alcoholic, like you.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
He befriended me when I was all crazy drunk, and we each checked into the rehab,
and then they took my clothes, and they only gave me a robe.
For what night?
Three nights, I had to stay.
I had to drink for 15 years before I got that.
You're a really fast learner.
Well, do you think you stopped because you thought, oh, this stuff's dangerous
for me, then?
I better not get involved in this.
Yeah, I don't like things where you take them and then you vomit.
You know what I mean?
I wish I'd met you when I was younger, man.
You're going to talk me right out of it.
Well, like, if you, if you, like, if I, if I eat a ham sandwich and I threw up
for four hours, I'd never eat a ham sandwich again.
You make a decent point.
You should go around rehabs telling people this.
Yeah, yeah.
That's good.
You look in shape, though, man.
You used to be quite thin, but you look kind of like you've been working out
and stuff.
Have you been working out?
Uh, uh, my abs, you mean?
Sure, yeah.
Yeah.
Have you been working out?
Have you got one of them ab things?
You know, like that?
like those crunches yeah like a crunch machine oh I'll mostly I'm mostly I work
on my latissimus dorsi I don't speak the French pal so you're gonna have to
take me through it there the back muscles back like wings come on yeah yeah
you're growing wings you're working out so much you're growing wings yeah I
look
like a like a like a like a griffin about to pounce wow you're scaring me norm
you
used to be so mild-mannered now you're like a riding up gym rat no I've never
worked out in my life never once I did it three times by blacked out and woke
up in
a rehab that was a good time when you when when you were there though you were
what who else already lying was working he's terrific how's he doing he's doing
all right I'm a big fan yeah you still friendly with him you tell him I said I
will I like that yeah yeah you still do Howard show as well you do what Howard
you know how it's oh do you do heroin do you do heroin did you do heroin
tonight you
don't do heroin I did it Howard Stern I'm just gonna say do you do I don't mean
do
you do Howard doesn't you know what I mean no I mean yeah yeah he's hard to do
you
know cuz he's uh he'll like hypnotize you have you done the show I did it once
yeah
he's I listened to the show though I'm a fan of Howard Stern I think he's a
great man
wow he's very interesting to you and also you're in a little close play and you
don't realize people are listening and sometimes you say something quite
revealing
yeah I know what like you do heroin that kind of thing cuz that's gonna make
the
websites tomorrow no I tell you no I've never done I've never done I've never
done
drugs I've always been you know what saved me from everything oh look it's
Jeffrey
yeah Jeff Pearson right there all right let's see him and let's see the jazz
hands yeah
exactly he's very disappointed appliance have you ever bought an appliance you
thought was gonna be thrilling and it's actually disappointing oh yeah I bought
a toaster yeah well that's very similar idea yeah fight the toaster is more
useful oh yeah yeah yeah do it again move your head yeah you want to get one of
those yeah he's got the comic timing of a young Fred Allen he's got the comic
timing of a young Sid James Sid James I love Sid James yeah that guy's
hilarious yeah well
not anybody ever see carry on camping yes of course I grew up on those movies
of course
you're Canadian you'll have seen those yeah yeah I love all those movies there
were a lot
of uh they were like camp kind of a raunchy British comedies from the 50s and
60s yeah yeah
yeah yeah lots of people going like a lady would walk in with two melons yeah
it's going like Mike
Myers did a bunch of that when he was doing the Austin Powers he was doing a
lot of uh you know
melon and fruit related comedy which I had seen in the carry-on but didn't you
find the carry-on
films as a child very arousing yes yes when you see attractive women walking
around with melons it's
it's it's like walking around a crazy horse striptease saloon and in Adelaide
hey listen
Norm we're completely out of time so um let's do a awkward pause or mouth organ
what would you
oh you got a mouth organ I got one for you sailor sure you uh yeah can you play
no I can't play but
I can sing a Bob Dylan song all right do it right can you sing and have the
organ in your mouth at the
same time because that's a trick I've only seen done once before it was a few
years ago in Australia
wait wait are you ready yeah yeah yeah the other way is it this side yeah the
same in the hole yeah
whoa whoa whoa slow down slow down you're going at it like you're like you're
like you hate it
oh okay yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah