Name: Norm Macdonald on The Todd Glass Show (2017) Full Interview
Uploaded: 2020-04-26T22:34:53.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald on The Todd Glass Show (2017) Full Interview' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald on The Todd Glass Show (2017) Full Interview' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-26. Transcript available.

Norm Macdonald on The Todd Glass Show (2017) Full Interview

Hi, how are you? Okay, here's the deal. This week is Norm MacDonald, and then
we're going to drop two episodes this week.
Then Monday is Rory Scofel and Norm. Well, Norm's there for the beginning.
Norm sort of roams in and out the whole second show, but this week is all Norm,
next week's Rory and Norm, okay?
Is that good? That's fun. And then, um, we misused the word defibrillator a few
times, just so now you know.
So when it happens, you can be like, at least they know. All right. Bye. Be
nice.
Hello? Very funny guy, Todd Glass. Hello? Uh, yeah. Hello? Am I on the air?
Hold on, sir. Let her jingle run through, please.
Hello? Entertainer's entertainer, Todd Glass, everyone. Hello? Todd. Oh, my God.
Hey, it's Zach. El Sacker.
Oh, my God. He called me. I really want to call them the podcast. I've got
stuff to promote.
Sir, hold on, please, until we get this jingle out.
Black Glass. Oh, my God. You want a Comedy Central? Black Glass. Katie, turn
this guy's line off. Again.
It's off. I'm still here. Oh, yes.
Is that Brian Regan? Oh, my God. Brian Regan called in?
Sir, shut the fuck up. Do you want me to beg? Is that...
Oh, my God. Brian Regan's begging?
The best part of having a TV show is when your comedian friends pitch you an
idea.
No matter how absurd, you can immediately greenlight it.
Black Glass. Oh, my God. That's Daniel Posh.
From the beautiful La Siaga Strip, high atop Black Horse Motors, it's the Todd
Glass Show.
We have problems with the phone lines. That's fun already. God, look at us. We're
having fun.
Aren't we? So much fun.
Every week, it's exciting. Every week, it's fun.
It's very exciting. I'm doing it by myself. There's no one here.
You know, sometimes the problem is when there's someone here, like Daniel Kino
is going to be here later, is that if I go on a rant, I look for their approval.
Like, do you agree? And I realize not everyone has to agree.
So I'm going to build like a black box for around me. I'm not even kidding,
like a cardboard box painted all black.
And then when I need to just have a moment where I rant, because sometimes when
I rant in the car, like into my phone, I know you're like, you ran in the car?
Yeah, sometimes when I just rant in the car into my phone, I don't overthink it.
It's just really what's on my mind. Not, am I right? Am I wrong? And so I just
thought I need to create that here. So I'm going to, maybe I'll get like a tent
with a microphone in it.
You can get those like blinder things that they have, you know, or get those
like old people glasses that block the side and then just cover it.
Katie, that's so funny. I'm thinking I have to not see everybody. I can just
put blindfolds on.
Yeah.
And just talk.
Yeah.
Because then you're not looking at people's faces.
Oh my God. Yes. And I don't want to anymore. And I want you. How about if you
all wear blindfolds? Wait, that won't help.
You'll still see us.
Did we start? And I think it's good. We don't have to. So we have some people
here. God, I got name tags.
Witt.
Witt.
What's your last name?
Thomas.
Witt Thomas. You do stand up.
Yes, sir.
Five years. You're doing it a year.
That's a good time because, you know, in all seriousness, I remember a year
into it. You're doing it. Like, how many times have you done it every week
since you started? Have you missed a week ever since you started?
No.
See, yeah. That's your, that's, that's, even if you went on 45 times in a year,
let's say you might miss something. I don't know. Maybe somebody dies. You got
to go to their funeral. That's all I could think of.
But you've been doing it for a year, so that's a, that's a fun time. I remember
there already, when I was doing it a year, there were guys that were already
complaining too much. Like, we're a year into it. Man, that's bullshit.
All right. You started already? Jesus. And then Preston is here. He's a friend
of Chris's. All right. And where are you from, Preston?
Oh, you're from Atlanta. We talked about the Laughing Skull already. He really
made it sound good. The, the, the, uh, Laughing Skull in Atlanta is like, it's
this little club that holds 75 people. I've talked about it a lot on the show.
Uh, it's awesome. I love it. It's like a vacation. The crowds are great. The
owner's great. And, uh, uh, but I told, I was talking to Preston about it
before the show. He goes, yeah, that's the place that's behind the bathrooms.
I'm like, Oh, you don't have to make it sound so fancy. Like it is true. You
have to go down a long hallway and that's where the bathrooms are to the vortex.
And then if you pass the hallway even further, there you go into the back and
there it is. And Chris is here too. So hi, Chris, how you doing? You got
friends in from out of town. That's fun. Everybody's having fun. I'm half
kidding when I say that. It's my nervous habit. All right. So here we go. I
feel good. Everybody's a good. I need a, okay. Here. Merle. I told you that's
my sister.
My sister-in-law. Stop listening. She called me last week. She goes, I liked
the show with Sarah. You, you, it was, it was calmer. It was like you didn't,
you weren't all over the place. I go, well, I like to be all over the place.
Now I'm not going to be, I'm not going to be not all over the place just to
make Merle happy. And by the way, uh, she has a barbershop. You should go there
if you're in, if you're in Philadelphia. It's on market street. It's called
Dave's barbershop. Like, why not go? You meet my sister-in-law. It's fun. It's
fun. How much fun? It would be fun.
fun she's great she'll get your hair cut well you can go get your hair cut at
Dave's and if you
mention the show she'll talk more that's mean there's no discount she'll just
talk more she'll
tell she's got great story hey look look at it this way you're you're down
there already and you
and you go to Dave's barbershop and it's on Market Street that's where I used
to go when I was a
little kid her dad used to cut my hair no one cares uh Whit's the only one that
really cares
he's the only one Chris you care too Preston doesn't care he's over there going
yeah I did
the Todd Glass show this is him back on the phone when he gets back to his
friends in uh in Atlanta
yeah I was uh I went to uh visit Chris in uh LA I went to see the Todd Glass
show it's above a
mechanic shop yeah it's like above a mechanic shop near the bathroom
so um okay so Meryl hello people might go in to get your hair cut and then she
tells stories about
me when I was younger and I will call her and tell her certain stories not to
tell
one time uh um has there ever been a recorded case of a younger person molesting
an older person
we're going to talk about that next week all right like a like I don't know
like a 14 year
old molest a 40 year old is that something everything's older molest everything's
had to happen yeah
okay so there's that we'll probably edit that out um I'm on Twitter does
everybody listening now
follow me on Twitter because you should okay thank you we all do okay all right
there's no pressure um
hi everybody I always like to stop say hi to the listeners how you doing give a
special shout out to
Zach C-O-T-Y I know it sounds insecure but he always writes like nice things
they make me feel good
you know like he'll write like just nice things and by the way I'm not one of
these people when I say
there's a you know a few times I've complained about you know people it's the
oldest thing in the world I
don't like to spend that much time on it but you know we all know you can't let
one negative thing
sometimes it gets to you okay but you know the longer you do it you just you
just overlook that stuff
but it does get to you but when but I don't believe it in the way of I heard
someone do again what I hate
last week hates a strong word dislike um yeah well you know back then now today
everyone no no just
let's complain about it because it's negative and I'm with you but don't act
like back then everyone
was nice I'm I know I sound like a broken record yeah back then everyone was
nice except for some
fucking horrible things that the world did but they were nice they didn't back
then they didn't say
mean things on twitter there wasn't twitter that's why I'm sure if they could
they would have done all
their bad shit on twitter too so anyway just complain don't say oh you know
like it's like when service is
bad people it's all right I'll complain about bad service and I love it I'll
have an hour conversation
but don't go yeah today you can't get you couldn't get it back then either all
right don't
fucking start telling me how great everything used to be everything's better
today I've said it
before I'm going to say it again every time it's not better than it's better
now everything
scientifically so shut up it wasn't great then that's why we're not advancing
as a society because
we think things where we need to go back to the way imagine if technology
thought they needed to go
back to the way it used to be we we wouldn't have the shit we need to go back
to the way no we need
to go forward we'll take a break we'll be right back no you don't have to what
would you play it
anyway if i wanted if you were ready if you were ready if you were ready what
would you like if we
were like let's do it again hey fucking tomorrow the block fuck shit shit fuck
fuck we'll be right
back audible.com makes it easy to seriously and catch up on your reading it is
true though i would
only let you play that because it is true audible does help you catch up on
your reading audible.com
makes it easy to stay well informed it does make it easy to stay well informed
all right all right i'm
all right with that um it's not like at least audible what they promise they
deliver that's the truth
calm makes it easy to stay well informed and catch up on your reading no no i
liked it up to then i like
it but audible makes a promise they keep it like seriously it's just they're
not met although whatever
they're saying they can do you do it and then you're like they were right not
like when shampoo
that fucking shit doesn't do anything you know the commercial with when they go
when my hair's dry
they go oh it takes up all the moisture i don't like when they lie about
products claiming they can do like
one time they were trying to sell me the shit at the mall she goes oh it's
great and it retains the
moisture and then if your face doesn't need it oh it doesn't do all that it
doesn't
how could it remember to do all that it'll take five years off your life what
if you put it on a baby
seriously we'll take a break all right
we'll be right back with the talk last show this is this is what chris hardwood
makes me play now
it's that time of you again this is embarrassing
best oh my god
bring your fan what if i love the bit where i don't know my mics off and join
me this is so
embarrassing
katie chris is making us do this this is what chris sent you
how does this help the show oh my god we think i'm a loser now
chris hardwood's orders all right so we got that i'm having a good time i don't
think i need anybody
no i think it's going good you know what i need
because lynn can't always be here i want someone that listening that's in a
band but they have like
a horn a drummer um uh just like this tight little band come in here with me
all day we rehearse a
song and then i sing it at the end of the show like i commit like whether it's
a talking song or
they go oh here's because i'm convinced that i could still if i have someone
like you know like
a little band that will play like the horn will come in like
the right when i have an empty spot if i can't hit a note or what so if you're
out there how can we
let them we need so like it's got to be a good band i don't you know we can't
have some they can
email us at todd at nerdist.com and they can send us maybe a sample sample
youtube video and by
the way i'm not being a jerk because i'm whoever this band is if they're as
good as i want them to
be i'm appreciative to them yeah so i want it to be the