Name: Norm Macdonald on the Toucher & Rich Podcast (2016) with Fred Stoller
Uploaded: 2020-06-21T16:58:40.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald on the Toucher & Rich Podcast (2016) with Fred Stoller' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-06-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald on the Toucher & Rich Podcast (2016) with Fred Stoller' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-06-21. Transcript available.

Norm Macdonald, thank you for joining us, sir.
Thank you, man. It's good to hear you guys again.
All right, so we...
Beautiful voices.
They're well-trained.
But we've discussed this with you before, and something always gets lost.
You're a big golf fan.
You say you're watching the Players' Championship right now.
Yeah, you're supposed to have me cover it.
Yeah, you're supposed to come out for the Deutsche Bank,
and every year you say you will, and then...
I'll do it.
Yeah, but how do we get in contact with you?
Oh, well, if I tell you, then everybody that listens will be able to get in
contact with me.
See, there's this many layers around, and I know that you're low-key and that
you're...
No, but seriously, the easiest way to get a hold of me is to tweet me,
because I always read every single one.
Then I'll follow you, and then we can DM each other.
Do you do the tweeting?
Oh, absolutely.
Sure.
And I follow you on Twitter, and it's like a play-by-play situation with you
sometimes.
You'll be watching hockey, golf, and basketball simultaneously at some times.
Yeah, and then everyone hates my gut, all my loyal followers, you know?
What do they say?
It's like, we're here for the quips, Norm.
Yeah, like, shut up.
Like, Steve Martin was telling me, like, you know, he'd go on Twitter every day,
and he'd do two jokes, you know?
And then once every three years, he'd go, oh, I have a banjo album coming out.
And they'd go, shut up, you stupid whore.
He thought he'd earn some points.
I saw Steve Martin, Martin Short.
They performed, they went on tour together, and they were here in Boston.
And I saw them, and he plays with the banjo band, Steve Martin.
Do you find that entertaining when Steve Martin does his banjo stuff?
Would you pay to see that?
I hear he's flying in between, but I feel like I would do that if I really
loved something,
you know, just force people to listen to it.
But, you know, those two together, you can't, you know, do better than that,
right?
Well, I mean, I purchased the tickets, and I was aware that the Bluegrass band
was coming on,
but Martin Short, you know, attempted to be funny the entire time,
and then Steve Martin, when he wanted to be, was funny,
and then twice the band came out, and I don't know if you know this about Bluegrass
songs.
They're not brief.
They have a running time that's not a, like a pop single.
You go, oh, it's over, and then, nope, this guy saw the win.
So, it's a lot.
I was talking to, I was talking to Martin Ball,
and he said he went over to Steve Martin's, Steve Martin told him,
and he said, you know who's here is Earl Scruggs, whatever that is.
And so, you know, Martin Ball plays the banjo also,
so he went over to Steve Martin's house, and he played banjo with Earl Scruggs,
and he was all amazed.
And then the next day, he phoned Steve Martin, and he goes, wasn't that amazing?
Like, how many people can say they, you know,
they went to Steve Martin's house and played banjo with Earl Scruggs?
Then Steve Martin said, about 5,000.
So, I guess he did for us with Earl Scruggs.
He keeps them in the basement and brings them up for visitors.
Well, Norm, I went online because I was getting...
What was that?
What?
Oh, well, I'm going to talk while I do my interview.
Goddamn, Fred Stoller, the opening act.
Oh, I know Fred Stoller.
Fred Stoller is fantastic.
Hey, how are you, Fred?
I read his book.
He read your...
Oh, man, I'm a sore.
He read your book.
About Seinfeld.
Yeah, you read my Seinfeld year?
Yeah.
Holy crap.
Hi, who's this?
Hey, this is Fred Toucher from Boston.
How are you doing, Mr. Stoller?
Hey, good.
How are you doing?
I'm, uh...
Yeah, I read the book about your year at Seinfeld.
Yeah, people read that, but I had an actual real book.
But, yeah, my Seinfeld year.
Okay, well, I'm sorry.
That was the e-book.
And then you...
Yeah, I'll be sorry.
Well, you said it like it was almost insulting that I had read that.
No, no, no.
It's not insulting.
It's funny because I did a thing called the Kindle single.
And a lot of people read that.
And then I had an actual book, and no one read that.
Well, now I'm aware of it.
I think that it was more of a lack of awareness than it was anything.
No, no.
No, but it's...
We have...
Breakfast is coming.
So this is Boston.
So I'm excited.
But, yes, he said Boston.
Yeah, this is Boston.
Was Norm unaware of that?
All right.
No, Norm is mad at me.
No, no, no.
Because if you want to horn in, he...
Norm thought he was talking in New York City.
No, no.
It's a much smaller...
It's a much smaller market.
So, uh...
No, it's a big market.
It's a...
Wait, oh, um...
This is great.
So I'm...
Norm said, ask me what you thought of my book.
Well, I just...
I guess I didn't read the real book.
I read the...
No, no, but the Kindle.
Did you like it?
I did.
I thought it very insightful.
It shows how it's not easy to be a writer on a popular sitcom.
It's not easy to be a writer on a popular sitcom.
I hope that's what people took from that.
Yeah.
Yeah, and I saw you on Marin very recently as well.
That's so funny that I did like three seconds on Marin and people tweeted that
they saw that.
Yeah, you were...
You're on TV a lot.
People know who you are and then you pop up from time to time and it's exciting
for people.
So whenever I'm on the road with Norm and someone recognizes me, he swats them
with a newspaper.
Get out of here.
They don't care for that.
He wants all the attention.
He swats them and goes, no, you don't know who he is.
Get out of here.
And he pushes me.
Sometimes I fall.
So it's kind of not nice.
No, he's the greatest guy.
He's...
I'm having as much fun as you would think it is to work with Norm Macbeth.
He's just so silly and, you know, and funny.
So it's great.
All right, Fred.
Can we have Norm back?
Yes.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Dang, man.
Kind of hijacked that thing.
Have you ever had that?
I don't know.
I just kind of hijacked the interview and then he got a little upset that I
didn't know about the real book instead of the e-book.
Oh, man.
He recognizes your e-book and he knows it and then you get mad that he doesn't
know all your work.
Oh, jeez, man.
You can't see...
I mean, you know, I guess Stoller's just got that kind of fame that, you know,
that's...
I know, right?
If you don't own the beat...
Yeah, we have to talk to you again.
Well, because it's my interview.
Right.
At one point, I'm like, this has gone on about three minutes too long.
All right.
Oh, my God.
I think it's the David Foster Wallace office.
Are you a fan of David Foster Wallace or did you find him to be pretentious?
A little mannered, but, you know, as good as anybody else, I guess.
But because you're writing a memoir, correct?
Yes, I am, yeah.
But you're taking it seriously because you are a fan of literature and you want
it to be...
You're taking a certain pride in the style of writing that you're doing,
correct?
Yeah, I'm trying to write it as best as I can, like, because I just feel sorry
for, you
know, actual writers that can't get on the bookshelves and then, you know, that
sees Benzari
as the number one book or Bill O'Reilly, you know what I mean?
Like, I always feel sorry.
So I feel you should work as hard as possible to do as good as you can with the
medium.
Now, I know a memoir doesn't always have to be completely factual, but is this
something
that's going to be completely factual?
Are you going to take some license with things and kind of create a truth
without all the
facts?
Well, it's a good old-fashioned tell-all.
Is that what it is?
Yeah.
Do you guys like bombshells?
We do, certainly.
You're going to hit us in the face with some sexual revelations?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
There's other kinds of bombshells, you know, than sexual ones.
He's going to be right into the sex.
You know, what?
Hey, get away from my ass.
Jeez, that stoler.
He's going to meet you in the stoler, him constantly.
Well, he's an odd duck, because he demanded a key to my room for some reason.
And then last night, I woke up, he was staring at me.
Like, not in any way sexual, but in a very disturbing way, just sitting on a
chair.
He's like, I couldn't sleep.
I'm like, okay.
Oh, my God.
He's a good guy.
He's a good guy.
Toucher and Rich are on your phone with the Radio.com app.
I wish you were here to join us.
From 98.5 The Sports Hub.
98.5 The Sports Hub with Toucher and Rich will simulcast on Comcast Sportsnet.
Norm MacDonald is going to be at Foxwoods tonight.
Well, Norm, with your show coming up, I wanted to go buy a ticket,
because we have no connection whatsoever with the promoters.
So I went online.
I can get in.
All right.
Well, then, yeah, maybe we'll hook that up.
But all I know is that went on Ticketmaster.com.
And you know that they have, I don't know if you noticed this,
but they have Yelp-like reviews under each person.
And there are Yelp-like reviews under your name for the comedy shows you've
done.
Have you ever read any of those?
Oh, no.
That would be frightening.
Norm, I found, like, I went to see, like, what were the worst ones that you got,
and it made me want to see your show even more.
As a matter of fact, I have a couple.
I bet I know what a lot of them say.
I bet a lot of them say he was drunk, he was stoned.
I see drunk and stoned about 58 times here at the bottom.
But these are some of my favorites.
This one was titled Bring Back the Opening Act.
And it said Norm's didn't have an act.
He was talking to an audience member about what medications the man was taking
for back pain.
That's my clothes.
Is it a setup?
You always set up.
I find some poor soul with sciatica, and we have a long discussion about it.
Now, does he have a key to your room?
The touring sciatica guy?
Oh, yeah.
That guy's all over the place.
Don't you have sciatica?
Huh?
I got another.
I just got it after a hernia operation.
Oh, there's one here that says McDonald and others were sophomoric.
It said all three comics were stuck on overused sex humor.
Humor that says Norm seemed to riff for far too long on the naming of apples.
Oh, Brent says he doesn't have sciatica.
He has Lincoln Continental.
Oh, my God.
I don't know what that means, but you know Michael O'Donoghue, who used to be
on the show?
Yes.
He told me that sophomoric was code for funny, so you shouldn't be upset if you
see that phrase.
All right.
Excellent.
That phrase.
Just know that it's very entertaining, and just sort them by worst reviews last,
and you will laugh the entire way.
It makes me want to see the show even more.
Yeah, I don't think you'll feel insulted.
So you go to, oh, no, I love reading, but it's fun.
You go to Ticketmaster, and then you go to Yelp?
No, it's Ticketmaster, and type in Norm MacDonald, and it's got reviews
underneath it, and you have like 290 of them.
And most of them are positive, but I just wanted to see what the bad ones were.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I get bad ones even from my supposed followers.
They're like, I hate your guts.
I'm like, why?
Why are you following me?
They're like, I'm going to unfollow you.
You know, shut up.
You know.
Well, it's your passion for the game of golf.
It makes you seem untouchable.
It makes you seem like you're in an ivory tower.
Oh, my God.
We've got to do that Deutsche Bank thing, man.
Absolutely.
All right.
Well, Norm MacDonald.
That would be awesome.
I'll be looking for your tweet.
We will definitely do that.
We will do that.
Why don't you do it now so that I can hit, like, follow, and then we can be.
Because I'll follow that many people.
I'm not one of those people that follow 35,000 people.
We'll both reach out to you.
Rich and I, so Toucher and Rich and Fred Toucher, we will have that out to you
post-haste.
And we will organize this thing.
You're going to be at Foxwoods.
That is tonight at...
What is Deutsche Bank in September?
It's Memorial Day weekend, or Labor Day weekend.
Labor Day weekend.
Labor Day weekend.
Oh, yeah.
That's perfect.
What is special about the Deutsche Bank?
It's the only tournament that what?
Do you know?
It's the only tournament that denies the Holocaust.
That is absolutely untrue.
What is?
It's not a political stance or an ideology.
It is...
It's the only one that has 19 holes.
No, it does not have 19 holes.
No, it's the only golf course that offers the fermento loaf.
Well, they do that in Augusta.
You've obviously never been there.
That's right.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
I think they actually do.
You know, they do.
That was my bad attempt at some joke.
It is the only golf tournament, Norm, that is played on Friday, Saturday,
Sunday, and
the final round is on a Monday.
Oh, really?
Yes, isn't that exciting?
That is interesting.
Now, did you guys follow...
Speaking of tournaments that start on Friday, John Daly turned 50 last week, so
he should
energize the champions to her.
Right?
Well, he's going to be long on the Champions Tour, you'd have to imagine.
Yes.
You guys are old enough to remember pre-Tiger when he showed up and energized
the regular
tour.
Yeah, when a man didn't have to train.
Yeah, when a man could live his life slovenly and drunkenly and still go out
and achieve
at the highest level.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, those were the days, huh?
Yeah, it was.
No athleticism whatsoever.
You just had him and that guy with the mustache running around.
The fact that it was Stadler with the mustache.
That's right.
Craig Duffy Waldorf or Craig Stadler?
That's right.
That's right.
Yeah, an athlete shouldn't have a nickname, The Waldorf.
Yeah, that doesn't ooze strength and agility.
Oh, that's why, I mean, everybody wonders about Tiger, but seriously, that's
why Tiger was
so good, because he was athletic when everybody else was fat.
And then the guys that grew up on Tiger became athletic.
You know Tiger over-trained, and that's what hurt him.
He over-trained.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If it was training, I guess.
I hope.
Yeah.
That would crush me if it was steroids.
That would just really crush me.
It would bother you if he was doing that?
Yeah.
Because it was kind of, yeah.
It would bother me.
I still think he's going to get 18 majors.
No, you don't.
Yeah, I do, because I think the Masters is possible, like every year for him.
You know what I mean?
An old guy can always win the Masters, and if his putting is on somehow, if he
can get that.
I mean, you know, the good thing is he's being humble, so, you know, when he
gets better,
he'll play a lot of court, a lot of golf, and then once in a while, he'll win,
you know?
All right.
Well, Norm MacDonald.
It's funny, because everybody thought he'd beat the Stavis Needs record for
most tournaments.
He might not even beat that at now.
No.
That's crazy.
No.
I mean, the back is a hard thing to work yourself out of, you know?
Sure is, man.
But maybe he'll be at the Deutsche Bank when I cover it, and I can ask him some
questions.
Or maybe he could be the guy with the back pain in the audience that you
referred to during your show.
That would be a real treat for the crowd.
Yeah, I'd just say, anyone here with any mortal illnesses?
Anyone took a hole they can't get out of?
Norm MacDonald.
It'll be a good show.
It'll be a fun time.
That's right.
Tonight at Foxwoods with Fred Stoller, who's written two books.
Yeah.
And you know, he has merch.
He does.
I mean, I'm not even joking you.
He brought one book.
He just waits for it to be sold?
Because he doesn't want to pay the luggage fee.
So he doesn't want to bring more than one book.
I understand.
Yeah.
Well, he had a hernia.
So I told him, well, just give it away.
You know what I mean?
You're going to look like a moron standing with one book.
Like after the show.
Well, if he treats everyone who buys that book like their prize, like he did to
me, I don't
know how many he's going to sell.
Not much of a salesman there.
He's kind of wrapping on me.
All right.
Norm MacDonald at Foxwoods tonight at 8 o'clock, foxwoods.com.
See you at the Wilbur 2 shows tomorrow, 7 and 9, 45.
Go to the Wilbur.com.
Norm MacDonald, thank you so much for the time, sir.
And we will get on Twitter immediately.
The show is going to be great tonight.
All right.
Looking forward to it.
And we will talk to you soon.
I already have my closing line.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
Would you like to hear it?
Of course.
Yes.
Now, is that bulging or herniated?
Norm MacDonald.
That's it.
Good night, everyone.
Thank you.
Good night, everybody.
Thank you so much for your time, sir.
All right, baby.
See you later.
All right.
Talk to you later.
All right.
So that interview goes very well.
And Norm has said now for, what, five years?
This would probably be the sixth year that he said he's going to come out and
do the Deutsche Bank.
I mean, if you follow him on Twitter, I mean, he play-by-plays golf.
What do you think?
Maybe like 100 tweets around?
He wasn't kidding around.
There's no person that I think has either been muted or unfollowed more than
Norm MacDonald
after following him.
I mean, he's got to have at least a 50% drop-off rate of people like, oh, my
gosh, I can't
take it because of the tweeting of these live events.
Because as loved and as famous as he is, he's got like 800,000 followers.
And you would figure that there would be like a million and a half.
He even jokes about it.
Most people just get angry at him when he starts live-tweeting these events.
I don't know why you get angry at him, because it's his account, but I could
see being like
enough.
So anyway, so the interview goes well.
He's talked about doing this for five years.
He's blamed.
And by the way, this wasn't our idea.
This was his idea.
Yeah.
And so we talked to him once, twice a year.
So he says, and he always goes, oh, well, you know, my agents and no one gets
back to
me and my management and all this.
So after the interview, we taped it yesterday, Rich and I, I tweet him and I
say, hey, this
is Fred from Boston.
Rich tweets him from the Toucher and Rich account.
I know he didn't follow me.
No, he didn't follow me.
So there we go.
The great Norm MacDonald, ladies and gentlemen.
Because I figured, oh, you know, he probably has no idea of Fred Toucher, but
he has to
have known he's done the Toucher and Rich show.
Mm-hmm.
And, uh.

Norm Macdonald on the Toucher & Rich Podcast (2016) with Fred Stoller

Norm Macdonald, thank you for joining us, sir.
Thank you, man. It's good to hear you guys again.
All right, so we...
Beautiful voices.
They're well-trained.
But we've discussed this with you before, and something always gets lost.
You're a big golf fan.
You say you're watching the Players' Championship right now.
Yeah, you're supposed to have me cover it.
Yeah, you're supposed to come out for the Deutsche Bank,
and every year you say you will, and then...
I'll do it.
Yeah, but how do we get in contact with you?
Oh, well, if I tell you, then everybody that listens will be able to get in
contact with me.
See, there's this many layers around, and I know that you're low-key and that
you're...
No, but seriously, the easiest way to get a hold of me is to tweet me,
because I always read every single one.
Then I'll follow you, and then we can DM each other.
Do you do the tweeting?
Oh, absolutely.
Sure.
And I follow you on Twitter, and it's like a play-by-play situation with you
sometimes.
You'll be watching hockey, golf, and basketball simultaneously at some times.
Yeah, and then everyone hates my gut, all my loyal followers, you know?
What do they say?
It's like, we're here for the quips, Norm.
Yeah, like, shut up.
Like, Steve Martin was telling me, like, you know, he'd go on Twitter every day,
and he'd do two jokes, you know?
And then once every three years, he'd go, oh, I have a banjo album coming out.
And they'd go, shut up, you stupid whore.
He thought he'd earn some points.
I saw Steve Martin, Martin Short.
They performed, they went on tour together, and they were here in Boston.
And I saw them, and he plays with the banjo band, Steve Martin.
Do you find that entertaining when Steve Martin does his banjo stuff?
Would you pay to see that?
I hear he's flying in between, but I feel like I would do that if I really
loved something,
you know, just force people to listen to it.
But, you know, those two together, you can't, you know, do better than that,
right?
Well, I mean, I purchased the tickets, and I was aware that the Bluegrass band
was coming on,
but Martin Short, you know, attempted to be funny the entire time,
and then Steve Martin, when he wanted to be, was funny,
and then twice the band came out, and I don't know if you know this about Bluegrass
songs.
They're not brief.
They have a running time that's not a, like a pop single.
You go, oh, it's over, and then, nope, this guy saw the win.
So, it's a lot.
I was talking to, I was talking to Martin Ball,
and he said he went over to Steve Martin's, Steve Martin told him,
and he said, you know who's here is Earl Scruggs, whatever that is.
And so, you know, Martin Ball plays the banjo also,
so he went over to Steve Martin's house, and he played banjo with Earl Scruggs,
and he was all amazed.
And then the next day, he phoned Steve Martin, and he goes, wasn't that amazing?
Like, how many people can say they, you know,
they went to Steve Martin's house and played banjo with Earl Scruggs?
Then Steve Martin said, about 5,000.
So, I guess he did for us with Earl Scruggs.
He keeps them in the basement and brings them up for visitors.
Well, Norm, I went online because I was getting...
What was that?
What?
Oh, well, I'm going to talk while I do my interview.
Goddamn, Fred Stoller, the opening act.
Oh, I know Fred Stoller.
Fred Stoller is fantastic.
Hey, how are you, Fred?
I read his book.
He read your...
Oh, man, I'm a sore.
He read your book.
About Seinfeld.
Yeah, you read my Seinfeld year?
Yeah.
Holy crap.
Hi, who's this?
Hey, this is Fred Toucher from Boston.
How are you doing, Mr. Stoller?
Hey, good.
How are you doing?
I'm, uh...
Yeah, I read the book about your year at Seinfeld.
Yeah, people read that, but I had an actual real book.
But, yeah, my Seinfeld year.
Okay, well, I'm sorry.
That was the e-book.
And then you...
Yeah, I'll be sorry.
Well, you said it like it was almost insulting that I had read that.
No, no, no.
It's not insulting.
It's funny because I did a thing called the Kindle single.
And a lot of people read that.
And then I had an actual book, and no one read that.
Well, now I'm aware of it.
I think that it was more of a lack of awareness than it was anything.
No, no.
No, but it's...
We have...
Breakfast is coming.
So this is Boston.
So I'm excited.
But, yes, he said Boston.
Yeah, this is Boston.
Was Norm unaware of that?
All right.
No, Norm is mad at me.
No, no, no.
Because if you want to horn in, he...
Norm thought he was talking in New York City.
No, no.
It's a much smaller...
It's a much smaller market.
So, uh...
No, it's a big market.
It's a...
Wait, oh, um...
This is great.
So I'm...
Norm said, ask me what you thought of my book.
Well, I just...
I guess I didn't read the real book.
I read the...
No, no, but the Kindle.
Did you like it?
I did.
I thought it very insightful.
It shows how it's not easy to be a writer on a popular sitcom.
It's not easy to be a writer on a popular sitcom.
I hope that's what people took from that.
Yeah.
Yeah, and I saw you on Marin very recently as well.
That's so funny that I did like three seconds on Marin and people tweeted that
they saw that.
Yeah, you were...
You're on TV a lot.
People know who you are and then you pop up from time to time and it's exciting
for people.
So whenever I'm on the road with Norm and someone recognizes me, he swats them
with a newspaper.
Get out of here.
They don't care for that.
He wants all the attention.
He swats them and goes, no, you don't know who he is.
Get out of here.
And he pushes me.
Sometimes I fall.
So it's kind of not nice.
No, he's the greatest guy.
He's...
I'm having as much fun as you would think it is to work with Norm Macbeth.
He's just so silly and, you know, and funny.
So it's great.
All right, Fred.
Can we have Norm back?
Yes.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Dang, man.
Kind of hijacked that thing.
Have you ever had that?
I don't know.
I just kind of hijacked the interview and then he got a little upset that I
didn't know about the real book instead of the e-book.
Oh, man.
He recognizes your e-book and he knows it and then you get mad that he doesn't
know all your work.
Oh, jeez, man.
You can't see...
I mean, you know, I guess Stoller's just got that kind of fame that, you know,
that's...
I know, right?
If you don't own the beat...
Yeah, we have to talk to you again.
Well, because it's my interview.
Right.
At one point, I'm like, this has gone on about three minutes too long.
All right.
Oh, my God.
I think it's the David Foster Wallace office.
Are you a fan of David Foster Wallace or did you find him to be pretentious?
A little mannered, but, you know, as good as anybody else, I guess.
But because you're writing a memoir, correct?
Yes, I am, yeah.
But you're taking it seriously because you are a fan of literature and you want
it to be...
You're taking a certain pride in the style of writing that you're doing,
correct?
Yeah, I'm trying to write it as best as I can, like, because I just feel sorry
for, you
know, actual writers that can't get on the bookshelves and then, you know, that
sees Benzari
as the number one book or Bill O'Reilly, you know what I mean?
Like, I always feel sorry.
So I feel you should work as hard as possible to do as good as you can with the
medium.
Now, I know a memoir doesn't always have to be completely factual, but is this
something
that's going to be completely factual?
Are you going to take some license with things and kind of create a truth
without all the
facts?
Well, it's a good old-fashioned tell-all.
Is that what it is?
Yeah.
Do you guys like bombshells?
We do, certainly.
You're going to hit us in the face with some sexual revelations?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
There's other kinds of bombshells, you know, than sexual ones.
He's going to be right into the sex.
You know, what?
Hey, get away from my ass.
Jeez, that stoler.
He's going to meet you in the stoler, him constantly.
Well, he's an odd duck, because he demanded a key to my room for some reason.
And then last night, I woke up, he was staring at me.
Like, not in any way sexual, but in a very disturbing way, just sitting on a
chair.
He's like, I couldn't sleep.
I'm like, okay.
Oh, my God.
He's a good guy.
He's a good guy.
Toucher and Rich are on your phone with the Radio.com app.
I wish you were here to join us.
From 98.5 The Sports Hub.
98.5 The Sports Hub with Toucher and Rich will simulcast on Comcast Sportsnet.
Norm MacDonald is going to be at Foxwoods tonight.
Well, Norm, with your show coming up, I wanted to go buy a ticket,
because we have no connection whatsoever with the promoters.
So I went online.
I can get in.
All right.
Well, then, yeah, maybe we'll hook that up.
But all I know is that went on Ticketmaster.com.
And you know that they have, I don't know if you noticed this,
but they have Yelp-like reviews under each person.
And there are Yelp-like reviews under your name for the comedy shows you've
done.
Have you ever read any of those?
Oh, no.
That would be frightening.
Norm, I found, like, I went to see, like, what were the worst ones that you got,
and it made me want to see your show even more.
As a matter of fact, I have a couple.
I bet I know what a lot of them say.
I bet a lot of them say he was drunk, he was stoned.
I see drunk and stoned about 58 times here at the bottom.
But these are some of my favorites.
This one was titled Bring Back the Opening Act.
And it said Norm's didn't have an act.
He was talking to an audience member about what medications the man was taking
for back pain.
That's my clothes.
Is it a setup?
You always set up.
I find some poor soul with sciatica, and we have a long discussion about it.
Now, does he have a key to your room?
The touring sciatica guy?
Oh, yeah.
That guy's all over the place.
Don't you have sciatica?
Huh?
I got another.
I just got it after a hernia operation.
Oh, there's one here that says McDonald and others were sophomoric.
It said all three comics were stuck on overused sex humor.
Humor that says Norm seemed to riff for far too long on the naming of apples.
Oh, Brent says he doesn't have sciatica.
He has Lincoln Continental.
Oh, my God.
I don't know what that means, but you know Michael O'Donoghue, who used to be
on the show?
Yes.
He told me that sophomoric was code for funny, so you shouldn't be upset if you
see that phrase.
All right.
Excellent.
That phrase.
Just know that it's very entertaining, and just sort them by worst reviews last,
and you will laugh the entire way.
It makes me want to see the show even more.
Yeah, I don't think you'll feel insulted.
So you go to, oh, no, I love reading, but it's fun.
You go to Ticketmaster, and then you go to Yelp?
No, it's Ticketmaster, and type in Norm MacDonald, and it's got reviews
underneath it, and you have like 290 of them.
And most of them are positive, but I just wanted to see what the bad ones were.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I get bad ones even from my supposed followers.
They're like, I hate your guts.
I'm like, why?
Why are you following me?
They're like, I'm going to unfollow you.
You know, shut up.
You know.
Well, it's your passion for the game of golf.
It makes you seem untouchable.
It makes you seem like you're in an ivory tower.
Oh, my God.
We've got to do that Deutsche Bank thing, man.
Absolutely.
All right.
Well, Norm MacDonald.
That would be awesome.
I'll be looking for your tweet.
We will definitely do that.
We will do that.
Why don't you do it now so that I can hit, like, follow, and then we can be.
Because I'll follow that many people.
I'm not one of those people that follow 35,000 people.
We'll both reach out to you.
Rich and I, so Toucher and Rich and Fred Toucher, we will have that out to you
post-haste.
And we will organize this thing.
You're going to be at Foxwoods.
That is tonight at...
What is Deutsche Bank in September?
It's Memorial Day weekend, or Labor Day weekend.
Labor Day weekend.
Labor Day weekend.
Oh, yeah.
That's perfect.
What is special about the Deutsche Bank?
It's the only tournament that what?
Do you know?
It's the only 