Name: Norm Macdonald & Super Dave Osborne on The Jonathon Brandmeier Show Compilation - 2 appearances
Uploaded: 2020-09-03T17:42:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald & Super Dave Osborne on The Jonathon Brandmeier Show Compilation - 2 appearances' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-09-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald & Super Dave Osborne on The Jonathon Brandmeier Show Compilation - 2 appearances' from Happy the Dog on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-09-03. Transcript available.

Norm Macdonald & Super Dave Osborne on The Jonathon Brandmeier Show Compilation - 2 appearances

Welcome back to the studio with M.D. Ben, where we made love.
And then you go on, and you and Artie Lang are the producer. You think you've
got a gold
mine here. Yeah, we've got a gold mine because he's a legendary guy that's been
away for
a long time. And then in the interim, he became an uncloseted homosexual.
Yeah, very uncloseted, but he won't admit it as you continue to go, hey, you're
going
like, hey, Tex, did you just, the lyrics are, did you just say something about
stroking
a guy's chest hair?
I don't want to talk about my lyrics, man. I don't want to talk about my lyrics.
That's a good text you just did.
Oh, thank you. Thank you. Hold on one second. Do you know Super Dave Osborne?
I don't know Super Dave.
Yeah, Super, do you know Norm Macdonald?
No, I don't believe I do. Oh, I remember him. Yeah, he used to be on Fridays.
No, that's Michael Richards, I believe. Oh, that's what I'm thinking of.
Yeah, that's Michael Richards. Is that Super Dave?
Yeah. What's your take on the Kramer thing?
Oh, I just think he made a little mistake. I think there's so many other words
he could
have said. Yes.
He would say it 38 times also, when he sees a woman pointing a cell phone at
him, stop.
Yeah, exactly right.
But I thought the apology was hilarious because he kept saying Afro-American.
It was the graduate hairdo.
No, hey, you guys, the best...
I know, and the thing is, here's the thing, no one explained to the audience,
Letterman's audience.
That's what I was going to say, the most uncomfortable showbiz moment and
enjoyable at the same time I've ever seen in my life.
They're waiting on line the whole night to get into the show. They don't know
what happened.
So here's Seinfeld is out pushing the DVD, and then he's got Kramer on, who's
got the same look as he had on the show, and he says Afro-American, and they
laugh.
Yeah. I mean, I couldn't believe it.
That would mean a more, like, strange thing to say, Afro-American.
Oh, it was, it's a hairstyle. That's not a human.
I know, it kind of looked like a skinhead a little bit.
I know, it was a little weird. The whole thing is so sad, though, isn't it?
It's so sad, though, isn't it?
Yes, it is.
You hear about the guy who's in a market, and a woman comes up to him, and she
says, "Excuse me, are you Tim Curry?"
He says, "Yeah." She says, "You're the father of one of my children."
He said, "What?"
She said, "You're the father of one of my children."
He says, "Oh, yeah, I remember. A few years ago, I met you at a stag party, and
we had sex on a pool table, and you stuck a carrot m****, and I cleaned up with
your dress. Is that it?"
He said, "No, I'm your son Johnny's sixth grade teacher at St. Bernadette."
Oh, my lord.
Oh, okay.
Super Dave, you should tell that joke you told me about, it's not offensive,
about the bus driver and the lady.
Oh, that's a great joke.
Wait, no, wait, wait.
I can't tell that because you need to see it.
Just tell one clean joke.
Norm, Norm, do you ever tell jokes?
I'm not very good at it. Super Dave is like an expert, but this joke's
completely clean.
Okay.
Oh, it's a great joke, but they have to see it.
No.
Just try it.
Try it.
All right.
A bus driver's on a bus with one passenger, and a woman gets on, and he looks
at the woman, and he puts both his hands around his neck like he's choking
himself, and he goes, "hee-hee," and she takes her purse and hits him in the
face as hard as she can.
She said, "you bastard, how dare you?"
She goes, sits down.
Now he's driving, and he looks in the rearview mirror.
He puts his hands around his neck again, and he goes, "hoo-hoo."
She comes running up and punches him in the back of the head.
Now she's ready to get off the bus.
He looks over at her and goes, "hee-hee."
She slaps him in the face and storms off the bus.
The bus driver pulls away.
The guy in the back said, "hey, what was that?"
He said, "what?"
"That thing with you and that woman."
He said, "oh, it was nothing.
We're all friends, and last week her son hung himself, and we tease each other."
You're listening to the Super Dave Osborne Show, where this new friend, Norm
MacDonald, they come on, they do things.
They're funny.
I love them.
You're good boys.
You're good boys.
Oh, that's a good one.
Oh, mighty.
That's a good one.
Super Dave, you owe me another couple of jokes, so you call later.
You know what I read today?
Yeah, what?
He inquired that Michael Richards was attacked at that pink yogurt place.
He was attacked?
Yeah.
The other thing that's sort of scary is, first of all, you know, Mel Gibson has
a career that he could hurt.
You know, Michael Richards doesn't really.
Wait a minute, Norm.
I believe Super Dave was going to tell a joke there.
I'm sorry.
No, I'm not telling a joke.
I thought it was really a joke.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
But it seemed to me that he was going to say something, because he wasn't being
serious.
And then you said something.
Was there a joke there?
No, no, Norm.
No, no, no.
I was telling the truth.
Okay.
I read where these punk kids ran at him and slammed his car and everything
trying to turn it over and he ran away.
Yeah, because I'd be very frightened, because like Mel Gibson, if you make fun
of Jewish people, it's not like you're in danger.
What?
What?
What did you say?
What did you say?
You heard him.
Uh-oh.
Hey, here's the thing, and I'm going to say it again.
This is a very funny thing that happened.
Marlon Brando, remember he said that the Jewish people ran Hollywood?
That's right.
Yeah, but you know, Marlon Brando didn't say anything.
Marlon Brando didn't say anything.
Marlon Brando didn't say anything.
Marlon Brando didn't say anything.
Marlon Brando lived.
Well, listen to Norm McDonald and Super Dave argue about the Jews.
Marlon Brando lived behind a cardboard cutout.
What?
He lived behind a cardboard cutout.
He was 900 pounds, so he could basically say anything.
No, but don't you think Michael Richards would be kind of in peril?
Well, but I don't think he had a career.
No, I'm saying just physically.
Hey, did you cut us off, John?
Are we just talking?
Yeah, you guys.
We're not even on the radio?
You haven't been on for the last hour, but this is great.
It's so great.
I haven't talked to Norm in about three weeks.
John, you know you think that Michael Richards may have his life sort of in
danger?
Yes, yes.
No, no, I would move to either Tucson or Idaho.
Yeah, or Wisconsin.
Why, is Wisconsin good, too?
You know what I'm saying, yeah.
You mean like just a shack in the woods or something?
Or Boston.
He could move to Boston.
Yeah.
Who's hanging up?
Did Norm hang up?
Hey, what?
Norm hang up.
No, he's not hanging up.
Dave, super Dave, call us back with another joke later.
What time?
I don't care.
I'm going to be here for another 20 hours.
Hey, Norm, what are you doing?
Let's listen to super Dave and Norm talk while we go together.
Let's get together on the holidays.
Yeah.
You want to?
Yeah, let's do it.
That's a Hollywood answer.
Norm did not mean that.
No, no, no, I love him.
I love him.
We have a lot of fun.
This is, I would love, boy, I'll tell you, man.
Can I tell you a great story about Norm MacDonald?
Go ahead.
Norm Kenny?
I don't know what the story is.
No, it's the dog story in Vegas.
Oh.
Here now is a dog story about Norm in Vegas.
Go ahead.
It's the greatest story in the history of the world.
Norm's in Vegas and they give him a massive sweep because he loses about $11
million a minute.
Yeah, and that World Series of Poker kind of stuff, right?
Well, it was well before that.
Okay.
The World Series is throwing away your money.
And now for the World Series of throwing away your money, here's Norm MacDonald.
And he has an associate named, can I give her name?
Sure, yeah.
No, Lori.
I'm not going to give her whole name.
Hello, Joe.
Okay, so we got her whole name.
And she's adorable.
And her family's listening.
Right.
And she has a dog a little bigger than my tennis shoe.
And so we're going downstairs so Norm can lose some money.
And Lori leaves the dog in the suite.
When we come upstairs, the door is open to the suite.
And it's impossible to get in unless you have a key.
So obviously the dog had opened the door and left.
Because he was set up waiting.
And the entire inside of the suite was on the floor.
Wallpaper, lights, pillows, stuffing, everything.
Yeah.
And the dog was downstairs in the jail with people, with other guys, with drunk
stuff.
I'm telling you the truth.
I'm telling you the truth.
Norm, is this true so far?
What?
Norm, is this true so far?
It is true.
And then what happened was there was a band of gypsies in the next room.
Don't hear that name in here.
Yeah, usually they're lurking at the outskirts of the town.
But they must have gotten this suite because they pretended to trip down an
escalator or something.
And they were going to sue Lori Jo's dog for emotional distress.
The gypsies.
Don't you love having to go downstairs and bail this dog out like you would a
gambler?
Or someone who tried to steal?
The dog was in jail.
Is this your dog?
And they had video of the dog in the jail cell trying to escape.
I've seen the suite.
I mean, I can't even, the wallpaper doesn't come off a wall in Vegas.
He put the wallpaper off and he had watched everything he could watch on
television and left.
What kind of dog is this, Norm?
I don't know.
It was a boxer.
What was that dog?
Wow.
Because you know how boxers know how to throw up their hands.
So he was able to open the door from the inside.
Yeah.
I'm sorry, I'm confused.
Where did the gypsies come in again?
They were living next door.
Oh, okay.
They were trying to sue everybody.
Alright.
So the gypsies were living next door.
You don't believe this story and it's 100% true.
Well, Norm, I don't believe Super Dave, I believe Norm.
The dog got loose in the hall and traumatized a gypsy child.
Well, what happened is a gypsy child opened the door and the dog was walking
down the hall
with a couch.
A gypsy child.
Hey, where's my couch going?
Who's got my couch?
That dog is taking my couch.
Oh, my God.
Super Dave Osborne.
How do you pull that music up so fast?
I'm very fast, Norm.
Oh, you can't believe what he pulls up.
I asked him if he was going to take a nap and Casey Kasem was going to host
with his wife.
Yeah, that's right.
Casey Kasem, because he thinks like in the old days, what do you call it?
Jerry Lewis.
Jerry Lewis.
You would take a nap.
You would take a nap.
I know, like it was the hardest thing in the world to do once a year.
It's not yet.
No, Norm is right.
It's not that hard to stay up for 28 hours once a year.
You know, Casey Kasem's wife carries Casey around in one of those child car
carriers around
his neck.
That's real sweet.
Flying up the chart at number two, we have a vegetarian surprise.
And at number one, we have a tofu burger with date nut bread.
What does he always say?
Start small, stay hard.
He says something like that.
That's funny.
Hey, Norm, do you still play poker?
Yeah, I just play on the internet.
Why don't we get on the you, me, Super Dave.
Dave, who else can we have play poker with us?
Kevin McLeod.
Okay.
Yeah, Kevin McLeod.
Is he alive?
Yeah.
You don't know a boy for that, do you?
Wait.
Well, no, wait a minute.
I do have a place for Casey.
Remember, start small, but stay hard.
That's what he says in real life?
That's what he says.
This is how he ends all his shows.
Remember, start small, but stay hard.
Good God.
He always says that.
What could that possibly mean?
I don't know what that means.
Remember, start small, but stay hard.
You know what it means.
It means, you know, stay tough.
You know what?
I bet as a kid he had the same voice.
Like a six-year-old, he had the same voice that would just do that talk like
that.
Wow.
What does that possibly mean?
Norm, listen to me, sir.
You at Super Dave, why don't we play cards and tie with Gavin McLeod?
All right, so Super, call back with a joke, call back with one later.
I'm going to start playing all your old jokes.
No, don't play my old jokes.
And 