Name: Bill Burr - Ric Flair & Patrice O'Neal
Uploaded: 2018-10-03T15:02:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Ric Flair & Patrice O'Neal' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-10-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Ric Flair & Patrice O'Neal' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-10-03. Transcript available.

This could be a rumor. I'm jumping right into this. This could be a rumor. Do
you leave tickets for all your show for Ric Flair?
No. If I'm in Charlotte when I do the comedies on there. Absolutely. I think
Ric Flair is one of the funniest.
One of the funniest men who's ever picked up the microphone.
Yeah. He did it. I was born with a golden spoon in my mouth.
When he tells that guy, takes off his loafer. It's like a purple loafer with
gold inlays.
And he pulls it up to this white trash dude who looks like he worked in a mine
his whole life.
And he goes, my shoes cost more than your house. And he yelled it.
But what made it so funny is if you looked at the guy, it was probably true.
I just did something so appealing about that act that he would go out.
Has he came to any of your shows?
How would you feel at your own stage and you're just doing your thing and Ric Flair
sitting in the front?
I would be freaking out. If I ever made that guy laugh, it would be the
greatest thing ever.
To me, other than the beating he took from his body, that seems brutal.
But his persona seems so much fun that you just go in to an arena of broke
people who are struggling.
And you just tell them how much money you have and how privileged your
childhood was and why their life sucks.
And then you hold up all your rich stuff in their face.
It's just like, when would that ever get old?
It's just the funniest fucking thing ever.
It just looked like so much fun.
And then your big challenge every week is how do I top that annoying thing with
something more annoying?
They're amazing.
Like The Rock was another guy who was just like absolutely prolific if you
watched him every week in wrestling.
He always added to his shit.
So he never got like, you know, he had his classics and then he would add a
little bit more.
When he got into the putain pie, that's when I was like, okay, this is getting
ridiculous.
He never got ridiculous.
He lived up to the hype.
He was the most electrifying man in entertainment sports.
He's out of doubt.
He's out of doubt.
Do you think Ric Flair ever did any cocaine?
No, not at all.
I think that was all just part of his persona.
I think he's a choir boy.
What kind of fucking asshole would say that they think that he did that?
We seem a little hyped up in some of those clips.
He's a performer.
He's bringing his A game.
What are you shitting on him for?
I love that I play.
I love that he won.
Why are you bringing up that TMZ shit?
Who cares what he did?
When the fucking mic got turned on, he delivered.
That's cool.
He's still alive.
So he obviously knew when to say when then, right?
Jesus Christ.
Unreal.
I mean, I just got done saying how much I liked him.
Why would he say something like that?
He likes him too.
I love him.
But you got to get the real stuff though, you know?
You can't just be all fantasy about it.
You got to know the real stuff about it.
Well, this is being filmed.
We're sitting at a fucking bar.
That's right.
We don't want to piss off Ric Flair.
Jesus Christ.
You know, most wrestlers, those old guys like that, they're doing stand-up now.
Well, I mean, technically they were anyway.
Like, that shit when you come out on the mic.
Yeah.
And they were riffing.
Like, Ric Flair said, he goes, did you people write that stuff?
He goes, nah.
He goes, I came up with half that shit on the cab ride over from the airport.
And that's just like, I don't know, like, as a performer, that's great.
Like, you're just like, you know, I'm going to say that.
I'm going to, I'm thinking about that.
I'm going to talk about that shit.
And you would just come, he just, let me tell you something.
And he just started going.
It was amazing.
Luger, let me tell you something.
Woo!
I just want to get that out.
You have to get it out.
Have you ever put someone in the figure for a leg lock?
No, but this dude, Rob Swiniver, when I was in fourth grade, put me in it.
And I allowed him because I wanted to learn how to do it.
It's the first time I, the first time I, I, I threw out my, my back.
Because he wouldn't let it go.
And everyone was freaking out that it was actually hurting me.
So he was feeding off the crowd's energy.
He wouldn't, he wouldn't let me out of it.
Remember, we had our big winter coats on.
And I was trying to get up.
I was trying to get up and I fucked up my back.
And ever since then, it's been messed up.
And then I went out and I think I did it to my little brother.
But we got so far into the Ric Flair thing, because it's huge for me.
I find it absolutely hilarious.
I'm a huge, poor wrestling fan.
We're going to, we're going to get sad a little bit.
I mean, it's not going to get sad.
Talk about, your friend, Patrice O'Neal, passed away.
Who died.
Now, how is this not going to get sad?
I don't like it in the morning.
You tell me a great story.
I'm going to try him.
You know, like that one guy with a pageant, 300, you come in and save the day.
You get like this, and we won't fight.
No, no.
Actually, well, the great thing about Patrice is we organized a benefit for him
in New York
City to honor him and raise money for his mom and his wife.
So we got that going on, and tickets sold out in like 24 hours, which was a
great thing.
And I talked to his mom the other day, so that sounded really, she actually
sounded happy
since the whole mess started.
But if you guys don't know who Patrice is, that's hands down, on stage and off
stage,
that's the funniest fucking dude I've ever met.
And I've never met anybody close to him.
So, yeah.
When you were with him, do you feel like you were like walking on eggshells,
because you knew he was going to come back with something quick every time?
No, we used to try and gang up on him.
We used to have like, we would literally, four on one, four comics on one,
and he would just like lay back, let you get your things in, and then he just
would destroy you.
I beat him once.
I beat him once in 20 years, using his techniques against him on a three-way
phone call with him,
Bobby Kelly, and me.
Bobby Kelly was in my apartment and threw out this old fucking couch I had for
my dad's
original dental office.
It was a hunk of shit with this floral pattern, and I couldn't get myself,
to throw it out, because it was sentimental to me.
So, Bobby threw it out.
I said, thank God he threw it out.
It was sentimental.
So, the two of them called me up to trash me for using the word sentimental.
Like, that's what comics do.
Oh, he showed a weakness.
Let's fucking devour him.
So, I somehow turned it around that Patrice is Bobby's bitch, and like, Bobby
hired him
to fucking, I can't remember what I did, but all I know is I somehow, I don't
know, it's
like, you know when they, you go to a basketball game, they pull some fat fuck
out of the crowd?
Hey, you hit a half-court shot, you get a key that might open the yugo, right?
And somehow, he hits the shot.
That's what happened.
Somehow, I was in the zone.
It was the middle of the day.
You know, Patrice probably just woke up, and I somehow beat him, and he got
fucking mad.
He got mad.
He wouldn't call, he wouldn't pick up when I, he wouldn't talk to me for like
three days.
So, my record against him was probably one in about 8,760.
He fucking destroyed me.
But honestly, man, it's such a fucking shame.
It's really, I gotta tell you, it's a void.
Like, it's a void like I've never experienced beyond him just being a friend,
but that was
the guy that when, you know, I just imagined that I was gonna be like the
benchmark.
He was the benchmark, so anytime I would be, you know.
Like, when Elephant in the Room was coming out, I was fucking nervous.
I was like, oh God, how much is this guy gonna blow me out of the water?
How far behind am I gonna be?
So, uh...
Like a friendly competition.
Did he see you as a competition?
No.
No, no.
He was his own deal, so it was like, uh...
I wouldn't even, it wasn't like a competition.
It was just, it was more that was acknowledged.
Like, I knew, I knew how much better he was than I was, so it was more...
You were just using him as, like, inspiration.
Like, I gotta push myself harder, or something like that.
So the fact that, you know, he's not gonna put out any more specials, you know.
So even if I didn't know him, this is a comic, it's just fucking devastating.
You all should check out the specials, both in the room.
Yep, and then also Mr. P is his CD.
So if you guys can do that, I'm gonna do that.
Thank you, everybody.