Name: Bill Burr - Worst Gig Of The Year
Uploaded: 2020-04-19T13:22:40.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Worst Gig Of The Year' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Worst Gig Of The Year' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-19. Transcript available.

So I I want to get to talk about some of the worst shit that's happened to you
And I don't know if you've thought about I tried to but when bad shit happens
to me
I try to forget it I block it out and it comes out when I'm in the shower for
some reason when I'm alone in the shower all the
Humiliation in my life all of a sudden I started thinking about I've told the
story before and then I just sort of shout
It out of my head
I'll just think of something that I did or said and I'll just be going like
Washington also. I'll just go like
Fucking echoes in the shower. You start my wife used to she doesn't anymore.
She would just be like you all right
All right. Oh, yes, I stubbed my toe. I would just think
Just like embarrassing shit that I did and said and stuff I did when I was
drinking I was drunk and shit
And it's just so I get a lot of it and all my bombing is a comic
I was trying to think of that. That's all just sort of just blended into all
one big
12-year period yeah like the first 12-year period
Of my of my career. That's the funny thing about stand-up where you can't like
I mean, I guess you can practice in your bedroom or whatever, but the only way
to do it
Is you just have to go out and do it and you learn in real time in front of
everybody like oh, I guess that sucked. Yeah
Okay, I guess we got to move on from that. I guess that's offensive. I didn't
know that so it's like a kind of like a whole process so
um, and I know that now after almost like, you know
Cold getting on 30 years of doing this that I understand now like, you know, I
I had one uh
All right, well, I'll tell you my worst show this year as far as like reaction
Yeah, all right. So I was uh, I was back east
I was in New York and New York the whole vibe in New York is like totally
changed
It's just like like manhattan was always expensive, but there was all these
pockets of like
You know different like racial groups and economic status and all like when I
moved there like alphabet city don't fucking go there
That place is crazy
Yeah, but like, but like, you know, uh
Upper east side was all this opulence and wealth and all of that shit and
It was all this different stuff now. It's just like it's just like all glass
towers and people with money. It's everyone
And the crowds are just like fucking lame. They're just really like kind of you
know, this post all this bullshit
So I was doing this bit
About this lesbian that kind of bumped into me on purpose
When I was walking down the sidewalk and when I told the joke these two women
in the crowd
Like simultaneous yelled out. They're like lesbians aren't men
All this shit and I was so fucking annoyed. I went the wrong route. I went oh
shut the fuck up
You fuck of course it was white chicks. What would they be doing if they weren't
getting offended for other groups, right?
I'm not saying there's not any white lesbian chicks. I'm just saying right that
all this shit
So I just fucking got into this big fuck you fuck you fight with them
And then like they leave
And then i'm pissed on stage, which is never good for telling jokes, right?
So then it ends and of course comedy club security is the worst like they don't
know how to kick somebody out
So i'm like are they upstairs like no they're gone. They're gone. So I knew and
I put my hoodie up
I walk out they go you're good. You're good second. I take it off. They're
still there. Fuck you. You motherfucker
I had a fuck you fuck you fight on the street with all these people eating
watching no way
so then I uh
It took me about three days
To stop feeling right about it like yeah
I should have said that I should have said this it took about three days and
then I was kind of like
All right, I don't want to be doing that on stage. I don't want to be okay
What am I trying to say? How did they hear it? And then I figured it out?
And now the joke kills and I have lesbians coming up to me telling me how much
they like the joke
So what is the joke? How does it go? I can't burn it. I need the joke. Okay.
Just kidding
Okay, so he's gonna tell me after but you know what is my problem is like I
hate when people go to a comedy club
And then they have to have they have to be sensitive
Like I feel like if you're gonna go to a comedy club and know that this person
is a comedian
And everything that they're saying whether it be offensive or not. It's a
fucking joke
That's the thing like it's like if you're gonna go there
Go there knowing that someone might say something that's gonna offend you, but
guess what they're fucking kidding
Or there's too many variables or there could be
You fucking hate the crowd so much that you say something that you do me
I'm sure you've been there where you're just like
You're like these guys suck. Yeah, you got it. I imagine in a band you guys
just start making eye contact like is it me?
We're giving 100% here
Playing drums?
Yeah, you look out there and you're like
You're just sitting there on their phone. You're like
Why are you watching this through four inches of fucking telephone?
Yeah, you're here
It's happening right before you
And the thing is the guy next to you is filming it. So just go look at his shit
You can actually like like be here
Yeah, that's that's that's biggest pet peeve
Well, they don't really allow filming in comedy clubs, right?
They don't usually allow people to film on yeah
Yeah, but people still a big no they still do and then they edit around it like
the way cnn and fox news
They did they edit shit. So they'll you it's not funny
Well, so you yeah
So you look like and well if they don't like you then they're gonna edit it in
a way to make you look like an asshole
It's uh, you know, it's not as bad as everybody says I mean it doesn't happen
that much
But uh, I guess there's this things now where you can people put like the cell
phones in the bags and stuff like that
But then that could cost three bucks a head and do you eat that you pass it on
to your your
People coming to your show. It's a whole weird fucking thing
So how do you feel about social media? I just i'm curious. What's your like
opinion?
It's everything it's fucking awesome and it's also the worst thing ever
It's fucking awesome to like promote your shit to get out there for someone
like me
I mean back in the day, you know a bald red-headed fucking male was you know
The worst go ahead start rattling off all the fucking people
There's not a lot that just I wouldn't a god play but I was able to
you know
Just do what I you what I love is you're able to do what the fuck you do and
put it out there and then just cultivate
All and all you need is just like, you know
200 people in each town to come see you or whatever the venue you're trying to
fill that's all you fucking need
And then you're you're good you're fine. Yeah, then uh, you know
I've been able to do stand up in different countries where english is in the
first language, which is nuts
How do you do that because there's a translator?
There's expatriates
There's people that fucking speak english and there's people who just get into
your shit
It's like if I had to do it for the whole country, I would bomb
But if I just need to fill a I just need to find 400 fucking people in that
country
That like what I do and then I can come back and maybe next time play the 500
seater or whatever
So that's that's kind of that's kind of like what that is
They like don't understand what you're saying. They're like, but I like his red
hair. He's funny. Yeah